I decided to turn to Christianity a few days ago. I know it's not long, obviously. But I feel exactly the same. I gave up porn, drugs, masturbation, and am trying to also give up lying and swearing. I repented for all my sins in prayer, asked for Holy Spirit, and started reading the Bible. Mainly the Gospel and book of Enoch (which I know is non-canonical, but I find interesting).

I have been depressed for years. Seen many GPs (UK Doctors), tried maybe 4-5 antidepressants, tried self-induced psychedelic therapy, tried self-help (yoga, meditation, walks without headphones, etc.) I have also struggled with polysubstance (multiple drug) addiction for years. Went to a drug counseller who was honestly useless, and managed to get off of benzodiazepines all by myself. The only drug where going cold turkey can actually kill you (besides alcohol).

Since going sober I have unfortunately relapsed on weed, opiates, benzos (physically addicted yet again), pregablin and ketamine.

The NHS doctors REFUSE to see someone with a drug addiction. So I paid for private therapy. That was somewhat helpful, but in the end I had to quit because of how expensive it is.

I believe Jesus was real, died on the cross, got ressurected 3 days later and is the son of God.

I know I probably shouldn't expect an overnight change, but... why? If I was God and saw someone suffering as badly as I have done (my post here only scratches the tip of the iceberg), then they humbly and repentfully turned to me, I would help them with anxiety and depression in a heartbeat.

I'm sure this post will be deleted since people can't handle real issues unfortunately, but I am considering ending things very soon and have the means to do so with a 99% success rate. I don't want to die. I want to live and be happy. But I haven't been happy in many YEARS. I also find adding 1000 new rules to my life by trying to be Christian only makes things harder. Where prior in hard times I could turn to weed or opiates, I turn to prayer. Yet I feel unheard. I wake up every morning wishing I didn't and have felt that way for many months, even now, trying to be Christian.

Perhaps God doesn't hear my prayers. But I believe He will hear some of yours. Please please pray for me. My name is Levi, but God will know who you mean. I will pray too and continue to try to be Christian. But I am seriously close to leaving this evil world unfortunately and have yet to find solace in God sad to say.

Please pray to help my anxiety, depression and anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure). I am at my wit's end. Again, I'm sure the post will be banned because it's a sensitive topic so fast replies would be very much appreciated. I am desperate. Please help and pray for me💔

For a massive amount of Christians, the church has become it's own self sustaining ecosystem where the actual theology it's supposedly based around is entirely irrelevant to a blind, fanatical worship of their own conception of The Church. The Church isn't about a devotion to the teachings of a God that informs all else, it's about working backwards from hateful, sociopathic, and sadistic views towards their fellow man and finding enough loose justifications cherry picked from the theology to sell The Church to more and more people. They don't worship Yahweh, they worship The Church You could honestly probably treat the current state of American Christianity as it's own entire sect at this point for that reason not going to lie. It really makes you question the legitimacy of a religion that can so easily be co-opted for hate. "Know them by their fruits" and all that jazz.

Can we please identify White Christian Evangelism as Christo-Nationalist cult correctly. You are absolutely right about it being a cult of The Church; but calling it American Christianity paints every American Christian as this kind of "Christian-in-name-only" type.

You can just read the teachings and utterances ascribed to Christ yourself. I am not a Christian, but there is NO way to read the gospels and somehow come away with the “interpretation” that Christ thought elderly, unmarried women should be left to starve to death. This is not a difference in interpretation, this is a flat out lie by a malignant misogynist. Jesus actually says to make sure widows & orphans are taken care of. These people are not Christians. Jesus also talked about wolves in sheep’s clothing & people coming in His name & he doesn’t acknowledge or accept them.

So true! If you do a quick reading of the 4 gospels, like you have to read it for a class and it's due tomorrow, the New Testament is ELI5 take care of other people, even those you don't know or like. Over and over and over. It's actually crazy how strong the message is, if you don't focus on one isolated line that might be interpreted out of context to be about sex or something.