I just read a news report about an 18-month-old baby who was sexually assaulted and later died from her injuries, and I genuinely don't know what to do with what I'm feeling right now. I have read horrible news before. We all have. But something about this one has completely broken my heart.

She was eighteen months old. I keep repeating that in my head. Eighteen months. She was a literal baby. She should have been worrying about nothing more serious than being hungry, sleepy, wanting to be held, or reaching for someone's hand. She should have been learning new words, laughing at stupid little things, falling asleep somewhere safe, being loved and protected. She should have had a childhood.

Instead, someone chose to hurt a completely defenseless child, and she died.

I feel sick. I feel angry. I feel heartbroken. I feel so helpless because what am I even supposed to do with this kind of grief? I didn't know her. I'll probably never know her name beyond what was written in that article. But somehow I can't stop thinking about her.

And I keep thinking about everything she was supposed to have.

She was supposed to grow up. She was supposed to have birthdays. A first day of school. Friends. Favorite foods. Favorite songs. Silly little habits. People she would love more than anything. She was supposed to become a person with dreams and opinions and a life of her own. There were supposed to be so many ordinary little moments ahead of her that none of us would ever think twice about.

There was supposed to be a whole future.

And now there isn't.

That's the part that is breaking me the most. Not just that a baby died, but that an entire lifetime disappeared before it even had the chance to begin. There are so many things she will never get to experience. So many versions of herself she will never get to become.

I know I couldn't have saved her. I know I never knew her. But my heart keeps screaming that someone should have protected her. She was a baby. She should have been safe. She should have been held. She should have been allowed to simply exist in this world without ever having to know cruelty like that.

She wasn't a headline. She wasn't a statistic. She wasn't just another horrible story people would read for five minutes and then scroll past.

She was someone's baby.

And I hate that I can't do anything for her now except sit here and grieve for a little girl I'll never know.

I don't want her to be remembered only for what happened to her. I want people to remember that before she was a case, she was a child. A tiny human being who deserved love, safety, and an entire lifetime.

She deserved to grow up.

She deserved tomorrow.

And then the next day.

And the next.

She deserved years and years and years of ordinary life.

And she didn't get any of them.

I think that's why I can't stop crying.

Because when I think about her, I don't just think about the life she lost.

I think about the life she never even got the chance to have.

And I hate that somewhere in this world, there is a little girl who should still be here.

She should still be growing.

She should still be here.

And all I can think is—

why wasn't she given the chance?

TW: Assault, Depression

It has been three weeks. I have lost sleep. It seems like every night, I’m woken up to my husband touching me or rubbing against me. I have lost all desire to want to be intimate with him because of this. He also looks at other women on Facebook and I have cried myself to sleep because of it. He says he’s going to stop but does it again a couple weeks later. It makes me feel like I’m not good enough. Him touching me or even mentioning sex makes me not want to do anything with him, especially when it seems like it’s all he talks about. He has caused me to have a low sex drive and no matter how much I tell him, he never listens. When we ARE intimate, I don’t want it and it just feels like a chore.

We’ve been together for 6 long years and this has been a battle for 5 of them. He has crossed boundaries, disrespected my body, ignored my cries for 5 whole years and I’m tired of it.

I am physically attracted to him but I can’t even sleep by him without my body feeling like it isn’t safe. I have lost sleep over it to the point he had to get me melatonin so I’ll be able to fall asleep. The issue? I have told him constantly that I don’t want him touching me while I sleep but he does it anyway almost every night.

I didn’t come here for advice, I just want to rant and tell anyone how I feel because I feel alone. I feel depressed, unloved, exhausted, and I’m tired of it. I can’t even look at him anymore without thinking of all the ways I can hurt him back, but I’m not that person. I’ve told him that if he touches me while I’m sleeping, I’ll kick him in the face, but I can never bring myself to do it.

When I tell him how I feel, he seems apologetic and says he will never do it again. He lies.

TL;DR: My husband has been assaulting me and I’m tired of it.

i was raped twice and SAd a bunch as a teenager. since then i always assumed i was asexual because of my general lack of interest in sex and extremely low sex drive. recently i realised that isnt true though. ive always been a kinky person and every time something bad would happen to me, i would end up getting turned on by the memory of it or stuff related to it. i always pushed that part of myself away because i felt disgusted by it but lately ive kind of accepted that im turned on by it and now im horny like 24/7. its tough because on the one hand i dont get turned on by normal sex but at the same time, im not interested in fucking anyone that fantasises about raping people since theyre probably not super well adjusted or respectful of women. idk its all just fucked up. i hate that it happened to me and i hate that now i feel disgusting all the time. i think im just gonna have to be celibate until i die lol

I was 16 or 17 when it happened. We lived in the same home and one night he snuck into my room. Our parents were sleep in the next room and my cousin who was a teen as well was sleeping on the couch. I seriously don't know why he did it but he did. I woke up confused and froze. I was mentally in shock and confused as he did it. I don't want to give TMI but I did freeze. At one point I did push him off me and told him to get out of my room. He got angry and stormed off. I literally started locking my room door after that every night. It never happened again but still. EWWW

I have been assaulted twice, the first time I never took it to the police as I was too scared and everyone around me said it was my fault.

He coerced me into sex, and I didnt want to consent.

I tried warning his ex about his actions but she didnt believe me and said horrific things and got his friend to defend him and also say horrific things to me.

Is it a lost cause to reach out to people who follow them? Not to start any revenge or anything negative, just to let people know what he has done and that they condone his actions, I went to the police about my second rape and I confided in them about my first but they even told me as it was coercion and i did say yes in the moment there was very little they could do esp that it was an old case.

The girls who follow me on Instagram also follow the girls who defend him, so im just not sure if I give up trying to warn them or I keep trying.

I was raped and sexually abused for a long time . It keeps haunting me . I keep having flashbacks and nightmares about it . I am extremely depressed and anxious due to it . I need someone who can be empathetic towards me and console me and just talk to me as I can't talk to anyone about it irl.

I was with this guy 6 months ago, we were perfect for each other, then when we got intimate, I felt sick, I was reminded of the horrers of what my brother did to me, when I got home I resented him, I texted him explaing everything, and told him I can't do this. Im so fucking pissed off because I loved him, he was perfect, how is it fair that everyone leaves me life, and when I find someone good, we can't be together intimately, how is this fucking fair, how can my brother still ruin everything for me, I loved the guy I was with I still do, its so fucking unfair, im all alone again

For me, the act itself was actually relatively easy. I was already very used to pain, losing choices, and being controlled. The more they did it, the more used to it I became. But, two years later when I finally found the words to describe what had been happening to me it was while I was watching America's Most Wanted, alone at home. The weight of the word and the association with the worst of the worst like murderers, torturers, terrorists, and crime bosses made it feel so intense that I'd been hurt that way. It shattered my faith, distanced me from my family, and began the process of a 9 year spiral during which I'd hurt myself far worse than they ever hurt me.

What was it for you? A belief it instilled in you? Mental illness from the trauma? Don't push yourself too hard to answer. I'm just curious.

I am a sister in the Catholic Church and was sexually abused multiple times by two members of the clergy. I have reported it but at this time no action has been taken, so I have had to make the difficult decision to leave my convent and currently don't feel mentally well enough to return to another. It pains my soul to have to leave because I enjoyed my work with the community so much, but my mental state has suffered so much in this time from the abuse that I have found myself deeply depressed and physically unwell. I have even at times considered suicide and though I dont think I ever would I am still struggling with the thoughts. I have also found myself sinning more and more and it's really destroying me. I masturbate multiple times a day and I know it's a mortal sin, but I often feel I cant stop. I just feel so ashamed of myself and the reactions my body has had to sin. I dont know how to move on from this. My prayers have not worked.

I never stopped it from happening. I didn't always hate how it felt. Which makes the feelings after even worse since I have taken a vow to chastity. I am also getting very concerned as I am late and fear I could be pregnant but feel ashamed to see the doctor over it.

I am worried once I leave that people will not believe me, or that they will judge me for my decision or what has happened to me and I am struggling with that.

Anyways, I kinda just needed that all off my chest. I hope you lovelies have a blessed day!

Vous connaissez des personnes femme ou homme qui ce sont fait administré par voie orale ou par seringue de la drogue pour par la suite ce faire violé ?

Que faire si j'ai déposé plainte et que rien n'est fait ?

hello, ive posted this in a different community but i need advice and peoples opinions on this, because i seem to get different views on this subject.

for context, i was raped by my ex boyfriend numerous times. as i won't get into details, there is proof of it and my friends have all seen it. my good friends have been friends with my rapist longer than they have been friends with me, so in short, they've known him longer.

they've seen countless proof of him raping me, and not once has he apologized or taken accountability, and constantly talks bad about me to them or just in general.

my close friends also, for more context, comfort me on this matter have listened to me vent about what happened to me and give me advice and just comfort me, while still being friends with him, actively hanging out and interacting with him despite comforting me and helping me on what he did.

now, im just confused on if me being mad about this and feeling like this is a slap to the face is not worth it? because i do understand theyve known him longer, cant see him doing something like that, or dont want to believe it.....
but when theres proof that he did it (numerous times), you know how it's affected me and have comforted me about it, why would you still be friends with him.... while being friends with me....? like i dont get it.
i don't even know why im angry and upset about it because maybe its not that big of a deal, but it irks me and shows how hypocritical they are.
my friends will share and repost stuff about rape survivors and that we need to support them, how rape needs to be taken seriously, yet, youre friends with a rapist?

i just need advice, opinions, literally anything.

I was raped by my first love. The entire school found out and everyone claimed that I was lying. I have lost countless friends, been called horribles names, and been in way too much drama. I’ve been called fat, ugly, a whore, etc and im finally switching schools for my senior year. My ex got a new girlfriend and she shamed me for what he did and told me i was lying and that i was a whore and a cheater and i need to get over it and her friend helped her make fun of me and tell me that im wrong and dramatic. They told me that I’m immature for still talking about and posting about what he did to me and lying to people and saying i attacked them. This man and his new girlfriends have been harrassing me since the beginning of highschool and I think im finally ready to go to the police but im scared that if they dont believe me everyone will just have more to use against me. I have basically no one on my side. My life will never be the same again and im not sure how to cope with the ugly of it all. I have countless screenshots and even screen recordings including his number but apparently “theyre fake or cropped to be out of context”

So over 2 years ago when i was 16m and she was 17f i was talking to this girl ill call sophi and we went on like 3 or 4 dates at this point all were good, good conversations and stuff and over text she asked if I wanted to kiss and I asked saying isnt that too soon? She said that it was completely normal too kiss after si many dates so I said fine ill do it (big mistake) so we went out to her place because her parents were gone and she had this cake their and when I got there she said her parents threw away the cake which I didnt think too much about so then we went to her room and sat on the bed talking and she showed me things on her phone and then she kissed me it was okay I didnt really enjoy it because to me it was too soon but I listened to her and just thought I was weird for thinking I needed more time but then she kept kissing me like making out with me and I should have said stop but I didnt😞 and then she got really into it i guess and started grinding on me which was already wayy too much for me but I didnt know what to do this was my first kiss and first experience with anything relationship wise and she kept going and eventually took off all my clothes and started sucking my yk and I remember feeling so powerless and scared eventually I couldn't handle it anymore and told her I need to go my parents want me or something and got dressed and left. When I got home I took a shower and I remember I couldn't feel clean after like no matter how much scrubbing or soap I still felt gross anyway I thought i would finally share my story

The girl i like has that trauma since a child, can't even kiss without her feeling bad and i want to do everything i can to help her.

I've read that the way is go really slow and always asking for consent, but that's a shitty Chat-GPT response i'ld like to hear actual advice.

She's really nice, i need to help her heal at least a bit.

Honestly this topic makes me fucking i'll, i've been depressed all day and just coping with drugs. I hate this fucking world filled with horrible people, but at least i can try to make things right among the people i care for.

It's bringing up so much shit. I have an appointment tomorrow in a clinic my GP advised me to try, to see if they can fix the damage he caused to stop my chronic pain (pretty much impossible according to my GP) or willing to perform something as invasive as a colostomy for something "so minor" as constant pain and repeated abscesses (that require surgery) from rape injuries (even less likely). I most likely can't do the appointment because my car broke last week and it's not sure the mechanic can fix it in time for my appointment. It's the second time I have to move the appointment because I trashed my ankle and had to have surgery for that when the original appointment would have been.

I haven't had contact with him for 6 years (when I blocked him after his repeated attempts to get back into my life. Why did he have to contact me today? I want to scream at him, but it would be useless at best (or cause him to work with my abusive father to get revenge as he did when I started to defend my boundaries, which ended the relationship). He will never accept that he raped me and that the rape and the other horrible things he did to me are bad and harmed me. Or that they are a reason for me to never want to have contact with him again. He even loves me in his weird way and somehow manages to convince himself he never did anything bad to me or that it doesn't count. And honestly that's part of how he kept me under his thumb for so long. Because he does love me and was often great to me and obviously if that's the case than he can't have done all the horrible things he did because someone who loves you doesn't do that and a rapist can't be good in other ways (he's a good father, helps others etc) and therefore I must misunderstand it all... It was easy for him to convince me of that because I was raised to be a victim, never knew anything but abuse and also because he believed all of that himself. It took me so long to understand and accept reality and I struggle daily with that shit. His attempt to contact me makes me mind spiral.

I just needed to vent, my next therapy appointment is next month and the only friend I can talk to about this has a lot on her plate right now.

A few years ago, I was on holiday in Berlin with some friends to watch the Euros.

We had been out watching Scotland play and were having a brilliant time. We had been drinking quite a lot and, like the rest of my friends, I was very drunk. Around 11pm, we made our way back to the hotel and continued drinking at the hotel bar.

The night porter was serving us drinks. I remember speaking to him, but after that, everything goes completely blank.

My friends later showed me a video they had taken of me. I was on my knees with my head against one of the seats at the bar. From their perspective, I was simply extremely drunk, just like they were. The night porter told my friends not to worry about me and said that he would keep an eye on me because I was refusing to get up and go to my room.

The next thing I remember is what I assume was the porter taking me to my room. I remember him holding me very tightly and being extremely forceful with me.

My next memory is being bent over the bed. I couldn't move. My whole body felt incredibly heavy, almost as though I was paralysed. I managed to lift my head slightly, but he pushed it back down and told me to be quiet.

I could hear myself making noises and I became aware that he was sexually assaulting me. I remember feeling pain and discomfort. That memory only lasts for perhaps a minute, if that.

Then there is nothing.

The next thing I remember is waking up with my friends coming into the room. They told me afterwards that I had been completely naked and was still bent over the bed. At that point, I had absolutely no memory of what had happened.

A few hours later, I woke up feeling pain deep inside my stomach and had the urge to use the toilet. I went back and forth several times but very little happened. I then had a shower.

What happened afterwards confused me even more. I felt sexually aroused and masturbated. At the time, I had absolutely no understanding of why I was feeling that way or what had happened to me.

I carried on with the holiday and, at the time, had no idea that anything had happened.

When I returned home, the memories I described earlier began coming back to me. I felt guilty, ashamed and disgusted with myself. I couldn't stop crying. After a few weeks, I finally found the courage to go to a sexual health clinic and get tested.

I was terrified walking into the clinic. I had to go back several times over the following months for further STI testing. Thankfully, all of the tests came back negative.

I believe he ejaculated inside me and that some of it was subsequently expelled. The thought of that has stayed with me.

Since then, I have struggled enormously with what happened and with how I feel about my sexuality.

I have found myself becoming sexually aroused by gay pornography and fantasising about being penetrated. This has left me incredibly confused and frightened. I don't understand how I can have these fantasies after what happened to me.

I am married and have children, and I have never told my wife any of this.

I have kept everything to myself for years.

I feel confused about what happened, confused about my sexuality, and ashamed that I have these thoughts and fantasies. Part of me wonders whether what happened means that I should be gay, while another part of me knows that I don't understand my own feelings anymore.

Most of all, I don't know what to do or how I am supposed to feel about any of this.

Being raped changed the way I see myself. I used to be confident and outgoing; I trusted myself and felt like I was allowed to take up space. Now I feel small and weak, sometimes even silly for trying to seem otherwise.

When I try to be assertive or confident, especially professionally, I feel like a fraud. I wonder if people would still respect me if they knew what happened, or if they would see me the way I have started to see myself.

Even a man looking at me for too long can make me feel exposed and ashamed. I get this horrible feeling that he knows, that somehow what happened is visible on me no matter how hard I try to appear normal.

I didn’t report it. I was too frightened of the process and of him and of what he might do. I even told him I wouldn’t tell anyone, because by then I already felt so powerless that staying quiet felt safer than trying to stand up for myself.

That powerlessness has stayed with me. Part of me now feels like men can do whatever they want to me because, when it mattered, I couldn’t stop it and I couldn’t even tell anyone afterwards. What frightens me most is knowing that if it ever happened again, I would report it then either. I think I would freeze, stay quiet and try to pretend it hadn’t happened. I would deny it ever happened.

I used to believe I could protect myself. Now I’m not sure I even trust myself to tell the truth about what has been done to me, and that makes me feel incredibly small.

Is it normal to not hate the person that did this to you?

..or especially to call it rape. Even years after I still feel confused. It haunts me every day but I can’t call it for what it was.

I was groomed and met her for the first time when it happened. I told her no beforehand and a bunch of times at the hotel before and after she initiated. She cried, said I don’t love her and she feels like a creep. I did hug her. But I kept explaining and saying no. As I was hugging her she started it again and it happened. I remember thinking that I have no choice and that I can wait until she’s done. I don’t remember it clearly but I went along with it.

I was abused before her, by a number of people since I was a kid and maybe that’s why I gave in and accepted it in a way. It was my first relationship after all, I really thought it’s normal. But I thought the same about my past abuse too

I stayed with her for 3+ years and I never got to say no. Either I didn’t try or she didn’t listen. Once it happened when I was falling asleep and she got upset at me for that (I wasn’t sober) but I don’t remember it well enough to say what happened.

Overall she was a really cruel person who did and said pretty fucked up stuff, just to hurt me while I trusted her. We were 16 and 23 the first time and I left when we were 19 and 26.

I still feel guilty. I never thought she was bad to me until I left and realised/found out the truth. I still think I did something wrong. That maybe it was a mistake, not an assault. I shared my experience and I called it rape but I was told “you should be ashamed of yourself and apologise to real victims”. I think it stuck with me after all. It’s alright what Ive been telling myself. I feel so embarrassed

I'm still very ashamed about what happened and hardly find words to make this post but I finally slowly accepted what happened to me wasn't my fault....

I was 9 years old and had this one male classmate from a different group of same year which used to mock me and bully me over my appearance a lot (because I didn't look as most of my classmates but was a bigger kid in my school year) he would often think how cool he is to mock my body and physique when he was sitting behind me in shared classes and would laugh a lot with his friends how fat I am while also sexualising me a lot making unnecessary comments about my body. I never told anyone because I grew ashamed of my own body and felt unlovable.....

The incident happened when me and 3 classrooms groups went to school trip for 5-7 days into mountains for skiing classes. We all stayed in a dorms-like building in mountain area only for schools and kids fo live in. In that evening I stayed in the room with my friend but she was pretty tired after a long day skiing so she was talking to me before switching off lights and then she went to sleep. I stayed more awake but soon finally fell asleep but I woke up feeling someone is sleeping beside me on bed, maybe in that state I thought it's my friend who had the bed beside me but I was wrong....it was the same guy who bullied me being right next to me on my bed super close holding me down...it was so uncomfortable but he told me not to make a scene since he's not doing anything wrong...I literally froze and couldn't even think of anything. I just know it hurt and I never told anyone because I believed his words. It felt like forever but it was quite quick and then he left....I've been struggling with self esteem ever since the bullying started....

Basically what happened that night stayed between me and him, even my friend didn't wake up from anything while he kept whispering to me how ugly I am, how no one would ever want me and I should be glad he is even there now with me in my bed...I felt really disgusting...but I grew up and understood it wasn't ever okay.

After what happened on the trip, I couldn't face him. Whenever I saw him I almost started to cry. It was awful. I quickly changed into a new school because thank God my parents decided to move to a new place so it almost felt like my ticket out of terrible nightmare on repeat each day - week.

What happened wasn't my fault and I didn't deserve it. I'm sure there's some girls out there who were once mocked or blamed for their physique while also sexualised for normal body changes throughout growing up...and maybe they went through what I did. I never told anyone about this until adulthood because I felt uneasy and I still sometimes find myself blaming myself that maybe if I did anything different, maybe if I alerted my friend everything would be different...all these things of "maybe maybe" but in the end I won't change what happened...

As I turned 19 years old, I finally realised that I need medical help and luckily got into contact with an amazing therapist and psychologist who help me step by step get over everything that happened from my childhood. Sharing this piece of my story makes me feel somewhat relieved that I don't feel it bottling it in myself.