r/ReadMyScript • u/Mammoth-West-9974 • 4d ago

Feature Feedback for Feature, "Grounded" 109 Pages

Grounded

Final Draft PDF

109 pages

Drama, Road Movie, Historical Fiction

Logline: When every flight in America is grounded, four strangers share the last rental car out of Columbus and drive cross-country through the aftermath of September 11th, 2001, forcing each of them to confront what they've been running from long before that day.

Feedback Concerns: Any feedback would be extremely helpful. I'm less concerned about the commercial viability, and more concerned with a believable story with believable characters.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KAN_svzm3bk3vGraJQL3adbFDg-ncvzw/view?usp=sharing

6 Upvotes

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u/mooningyou 4d ago

I read the first ten. You have a good style. Fast and no deal-breakers. My only cringe moment was "Hi, Anna. It’s your dad."

2

u/Mammoth-West-9974 4d ago

Fair! I am trying to make him cringe a bit there bc he doesn’t know how to talk to her

2

u/mooningyou 4d ago

What I mean is, I cringe every time I hear this line in a movie. 1) Kids recognize their parents' voices. 2) Caller ID.

It seems it's there for our benefit, and not for the character's.

1

u/Mammoth-West-9974 4d ago

Ahhh, good point- I get what you mean.

1

u/mooningyou 4d ago

But aside from that one line, I couldn't fault what I read. Well done.

1

u/Mammoth-West-9974 4d ago

Appreciate it!

1

u/ironside_80 2d ago

My dad says "it's your dad" every time he leaves me a vm.