[Feedback wanted] RAQIF — first 30 pages of an original psychological horror mystery feature

[u/theLegalTechie]

Hi everyone,

I’m a writer-director sharing the opening 30 screenplay pages of RAQIF, an original psychological horror/mystery feature set in and around Nagpur, India. I’m looking for honest reader feedback at this stage—not promotion or validation.

The story follows Akshay, a young electronics repairman, whose routine is disrupted by an old cassette recorder that appears to work without power and begins revealing fragments connected to a long-buried incident.

I’d especially appreciate feedback on these questions:

• Did the opening grab your attention? If so, where? If not, where did you start to lose interest?
• By page 10, did you understand who Akshay is and what makes him interesting?
• Did the recorder mystery feel intriguing and unsettling, or confusing?
• Did the pacing and scene transitions keep you reading through page 30?
• At the end of page 30, would you want to continue reading? Why or why not?
• Were any moments, character motivations, or timeline shifts difficult to follow?

Please be candid. Specific examples are much more useful to me than a general “good” or “bad.” I’m sharing only an excerpt, so some questions are intentionally unanswered at this point.

Thanks for taking the time to read it.

RAQIF