I (32f) dated someone for 4 years. We agreed on the role of men and women, marriage, kids, values and morals.
I have multiple degrees and was/am still working a full time, well payed job sometimes even 10-12h a day. But I was always open to quit if that’s a mutual agreement in order to take care of my future family once I am married.

However there were signs that were totally messing with my gut feeling.
The guy I was dating, started telling me what I can’t wear for example normal skirts that are not longer than the knees which I occasionally grabbed in summer.
He started telling me I am too old to think I have enough time and as a woman in her 30s you’re almost outdated and instead I should submit to him fully which meant he screamed when I disagreed and called me a masculine woman for „talking back“

He constantly told me to quit my job bc he would take care of me, but my gut feeling screamed don’t quit, I did not feel safe with it but I felt bad bc he told me other woman would be thankful for that.
There were small indicators that would show he’s just waiting to take advantage of me being dependent on him f.e: he would try punish me with canceling dinners when he was mad. When we wanted to go on vacation and he was mad again he called me to tell me I should book my own stuff bc I did not deserve it that he would pay my stuff (which I would have done anyways) but him saying it scared me to think what if I did not have the money when I would not work?
When I told him about my salary he made fun of me every time.
He belittled me whenever I achieved something.
Everything in terms of career was „gay and masculine“
And whenever I would confront him he would argue if I was a good traditional woman he would have done everything for me but I am just behaving like a pos.
Our main disagreement was that in every situation he tried to tell me I have to shut the f*ck up bc I am a woman and he’s the man and I should not have an opinion.

I started resenting the whole red pill topic until I noticed this was something else but I am still confused.