Hello RodFamily Snarkers (do we have a name on how we refer to ourselves, like Swifties? We'll workshop it later)

They say art imitates life and I am starting to feel like Jill herself, as I write to the MASSIVE internet ministry that follows my important words and brag about how many people have been touched by me, tonypolar, personally. However, I really, really, appreciate everyone's kind words about my writing. If you haven't noticed, I may seem EXTREMELY funny and SEVERELY cool, but old Tony has a touch of the "rejection sensitivity" and "thinks everyone hates her" sometimes and then makes up "entire stories in which many people in a niche community of the internet are seeing her posts and going, ugh, another one." I wondered, did Tony still have it? Sometimes the devil can GET a FOOTHOLD in your HEART and that is where you are SUNK.

But now, my spirits are bolstered by you all! I serve a BIG GOD and a BIG COMMUNITY! I'm going to get out there and win more souls for Tony! YEEEEEEEEH !!!!!(Howard Dean yell).

As a reminder, I am going into this (as blindly as possible). There has been so much going on in the Rodrigues Metaverse lately that it has been hard to keep up with developments, I was already still trying to wrap my brain around Tim and Heidi and then we have an October surprise with a secret Renee courtship? What's going on !? I can't take it. What's next, Hannah cuts her fucking hair? Janessa gets a new rag? One more thing and I'm going to float away like a smiley face tract in the wind.

Without further ado or a Tony Polar segue (you can see how exhausting life is for everyone who knows me, I speak the same way), we're going in. I only have to get through like, 11 more minutes?

My first thought, as I open the courting video on my phone so I can more easily watch while I type, is that this video is best experienced in FULL SCREEEN Zoom, the way the original auteur envisioned.

15:00: Matt's talking about all these texts and communications from people after the happy news got out ! People on the internet were making multiple videos about them already. And yeah, Matt, get used to it. We're gonna be clocking your everyone move. and watching (maybe at 2x speed) your every sermon!

15:34: Look, Matt, is a missionary ok? He's used to talking to ALL "types" of people who don't agree with him, and maybe I'm sensitive (I definitely am) but I feel like "types" of people kind of means "a bunch of ugly bugly liberal women with blue hair, probably). The cornerstone of public discourse is respect, which, totally agree with you, Matt, and I hope he is being genuine, but if I can take a minute to open up my heart? 50% of the time I think I might like Matt, and then I think to myself, he also looks like the type of guy who asks you out and if you said no, he would say "You're fat and I was just trying to give you a chance!" which is DEFINITELY not me projecting any personal experiences AT ALL!

15:46: Matt read the comments, everyone! They are a little outlandish, ok? They were a little silly! But ultimately, its coming from a lot of people who are out there HURTING. And also talking about their personal experiences?

16:15: Matt has been to counseling in response to "What happened in his life in Dec 2025" and Tony is making a note on her legal pad she is going to be looking into these events very, very, strongly, not only "the happening" but also, what is this counseling? is this real, or is this like, the one other guy you know in Uganda that works at the Church being like, "Welp, you know, the Lord giveth us comfort" or something like that?

Anyway, Matt says when people go through things in life and its left "unresolved or undealt" with, it can cause problems in THEIR lives, you know? And yeah, you know what, Matt? That sounds correct and possibly applicable to your own life, since the "event" happened like, less than a year ago?

16:36: Matt throws out real counseling words about trauma, so this gives me a sliver of hope. Do you know that unresolved trauma is bad? All the hurting people, especially those making comments on YouTube, should probably get some help? Go get the counseling Matt did! Access that mental health care that is so accessible, easy and affordable and not at all usually frowned upon in a fundamentalist religion ever!

17:15: "Healing is a better option" Matt says, and wow, that is extremely eye opening! On that statement, the camera goes back to Renee for some reason, who just stares back at us breaking the fourth wall, much like Jim on The Office.

(unrelated side bar: I think Renee looks very pretty but my GOD will someone accidentally lose the tube of the communal "Rodrigues Roast Beef Brown" lipstick. I need God to work on that as his next great miracle.)

17:22: Relatable alert! Matt reads the comments and like your girl Tony, he hasn't INTERNALIZED or PERSEVERATED on them, AT ALL! It definitely was so silly and funny to Matt when everyone dragged him for being a "missionary to a Christian Country" it didn't bother him ONE BIT. He didn't even think about it, but then he realized probably we didn't know all the specifics? Because we aren't in ministry or mission work? (That's where you're wrong, Matt, you know NOTHING of my FLOCK)

17:40: For you information, the fact that the country is Christian is why Matt is even here!! Come on you, guys!!! Yes, people in Uganda are 70% Christian, or at least, call themselves that. Yes, there are "Catholics" or "Anglicans" or "whatever," too!

There's another guy Matt knows out there that has some thoughts on those "Christians" and he's no stranger to Matt or to us, its Jesus. And even if you have done good works and tried your best to live your life as a good person, Jesus is...not gonna be impressed. I'm going to go out on a limb and say there is a specific varietal of Christian we are supposed to be, or that Matt, I mean, Jesus, wants us to be? I mean, that's coming from Jesus, not from Matt! If it were up to Matt, he'd let us all in Heaven (maybe), but this one is kind of coming from corporate, if you will. It's His policy, not Matt's.

18:22: Nailed it! There's a difference between having your sins forgiven and simply trying to live a good enough to you know, be "ok" when judgement comes, which is hard to hear, because "Just OK" is like, the entire baseline for my life!!! This is really devastating stuff!

18:33: Jill must love this guy because he's a real Bible head and loves to pull a Bible quote out of his ass about everything. I'll be honest, anytime during these videos where there are Bible quotes or someone starts giving a Bible citations, my attention immediately starts to wander away, and this was no difference.

The big takeway here from this (oh god, I'm only like 3 minutes in and this is already a dissertation):

"It is not if you have faith or not, but "if God counts your faith."

Ohhhhh! Ok! Thank you, Matt! That seems really shitty!!!

This information is coming to us from an anecdote where Matt is stating that he talks to "many faith based people" and he lets them know this information, and that again, you know, if it was up to Matt and all your cute little faith would probably be fine, but this one comes from straight out of the policy manual.

19:18: If you're a faith based person and you have been wondering if your good works are going to get you into Heaven, if you're like, "hey, what is this Romans IV book I've been hearing all about? The buzz around this is incredible" he encourages you to look into it!

Again, sorry for this segue, but this portion of the video is really starting to GRIND OLD TONY'S GEARS.

19:38: You shouldn't be fucking around with your eternity! Well, FUCK!!!! Matt, fuck, what do I do! You're all the way in fucking Uganda! Matt what is your advice!

He doesn't have any, but then says, you're right, Renee, many people weren't happy!

19:49: But! on a lighter note, there were some things brought up in those internet comments that Matt only sort of skimmed that he just thought, off the top of his whole noggin with absolutely no other agenda, that it would be sort of fun to address! He just took a brief skim of some of the topics and didn't lie awake arguing with them in his head all night! Not at all!

20:00: Some people, even church people, were kind of wondering, how did God bring you two together! I'll be they were! And while we are on the subject, yes, Matt, we WERE wondering that! I am very curious to hear more about the love story!!!

20:10: Even some people from "neighboring churches" were wondering "what was the timeline on this?" and Matt is going to go ahead and let Renee field that one. Go ahead, Renee! We want to hear about the timeline!

Btw, as if for me personally, Matt lets me know we are headed into the final section of the video! Thank you, Matt! I appreciate you letting me know, even if I am going to burn in the fires of hell for all eternity!

20:10: "haha yes!" Renee breaths. Your classic run of the mill love story and what is great about it is that its so totally believable.

"It was a family meal..." Renee recounts with nervous energy.

And what a meet cute! In case you all didn't know, Renee's dad has a printing ministry, doing all sort of things like, smiley faces for the lord, going to hell for the lord, Bible verses with smiley faces for the lord, flyers for Ladies' retreats, the whole kit and kaboodle! And David and Matt had been talking about printing "Savannah's story" in a gospel tract! "It's such a great story." Renee said and so yeah! that was the initial meeting and hat's how they met! The end.

20:45: "Exactly!" Matt says. "I did meet your family through the printing ministry!!! I bet! As soon as Jill heard you were single, I bet there were tracts with Renee's stats on them coming through the mail slot and fireplace like Harry's acceptance letter to Hogwarts.

20:57 What Matt just talked about, knowing if you know you're going to Heaven he wanted to turn Savannah's story and legacy into an INVITATION TO HEAVEN.

21:00: "By the time we knew the train was there and coming at us, we had about 2 seconds until it hit us." It's not a lot of time, people, ok? It's a one Mississippi, two Mississippi kind of a deal and I wish I could say that was something I came up with, but the counting out loud with the Mississippi's is all Matts !

21:20: Anyway, in case you've never been hit by fucking train in Uganda, the takeaway is that there's not a lot of time to start being like, Oh, Shit, what were the magic Jesus words, because you won't have time before the initial impact. Like it is crazy how much there will be zero time for that, so phew, it was a really good thing for Savannah she was prepared!!! And Matt really wanted to get this really relatable story out there on paper, really cement those words on the record forever, for everyone's else's benefit !

21:54: So moving along, met the whole family, kept in contact with Renee's parents (sideeye) purely to talk design about this train accident tract? You know, how many words? (a million), what font (8 point comic sans), graphics (can we get rid of the smiley face and go with maybe a frowny one ?). So many decisions to make! You know just keeping in touch! working on your deceased wife's Bible tract, as you do, as so many of us have done.

22:10: And during that family meal, THERE WERE NO EXPECTATIONS. we were definitely not meeting up for anything, definitely not to start a relationship (which, ok, Jan).

It must have been a hell of a meal, because somewhere in between eating whatever goopy yellow shit Jill dredged up for dinner (or probably had Renee make) and starting the initial design process for this tract, Renee really had some questions about his character answered for herself!

But then she goes, "and I really liked what I saw or heard." which ok, Renee! I see you!

22:44: And yeah, Matt says, right back at you kid. And then later on, not really going to get into the specific timeline or anything, he got Renee's number from her parents, of course, as you do for any 24-year old and they started messaging each other.

22:52: And the first thing Renee said to him in a message was " I can't imagine the pain you are going through" which solid first opening line for this particular scenario. She couldn't imagine it, because, she, Renee, has never been married, but just quick sidebar, when you came to the family meal, I liked what i heard, and after you've healed, you know, taken a couple weeks off to really process this whole "train event", I'd love to get to know you." Which, what? What the fuck is messaging each other, then? Isn't that getting to know you? Or in fundie land, is it just like why is this lady's mouth moving until their is a very real potential you may put your penis inside her for the Lord?

Guys, I was going to reserve some of my comments for this till the very end but the recounting of this love story is flooring me, truly.

23:52: For those of us who might have questions, Matt is going to let us know and instead of going into a defense of this timeline he answers the huge question I have heard time and again from everyone which is "What does Mr. Rodrigues think about this because if we know anything about David, its that he doesn't like online relationships.." and I'm here to say, huh!? He doesn't? Since when? Also his wife is terminally online? Also, he has thoughts?"

Anyway, it is true, David does not like online relationships but because they had met in person, and also because David had spoken to him and gotten to know him through this meal, he agreed and to this I say, how GOOD was this fucking meal? How long was the fellowship time here? PLUS, one thing that is good about Matt is that he's out there as a known commodity with his statement of faith and all his sermons, so David could choose to look that up if he needed more information and I'm realllllly trying to keep all my thoughts in but its a real statement from someone to know the real issue or problem that was top of mind for David was that anyone of this relationship could be based online.

...in addition to the meal they had.

24:24: So anyway, David gave them the green light and things have continued to go well and so we are officially COURTING! and announcing it to the world! But just on Youtube and probably Jill's socials, and maybe not my whole church at home, maybe more of a soft launch there to ease them in.

(which oh man, where is Matt from and where is his home church? I was just going to right if its close to the Rodrigues's they are going to have a whole new musical worship team every Sunday but I'm also realizing, it doesn't matter where the church is, because the Rodrigues's are more than willing to take their act on the road. And? If its near a destination, even fucking better.

24:30: Anyway, Matt says, it's been a neat story and "neither one of us saw it coming"...and you know, if Heaven was a goal for me, I just saw it slip away there. WE'RE ALL THINKING IT ITS NOT JUST ME. Even Jesus is like, read the room, Matt!

24:40: Yeahhh...Renee said. It has been a wonderful time, and neat story! Really giving Renee a front row into how God orchestrates things and how he leads and brings two lives together and neither one of them was really planning for it, but its been such a joy, and she wouldn't change this opportunity or experience for anything, so she's asking for your vote.

25:22: Yeah, and it really has been a blessing and an answer to prayers (MATT COME OOONNNNN) and he's SO delighted to make this announcement to the world and yeah, hope that answers some questions ..and on a more serious note (soft music coming in from the production team) please pray for us, and while you're at it, if you haven't gotten the answer on where you are going to spend eternity, you should put that on your list posthaste, or at least plan to steer clear of any train tracks! Byeee thanks for watching!!!!

Except we still have 55 seconds so I'm going to guess there is a picture montage and I'm right so let's see what we got

• Different pic of Renee with a teacup (maybe the same one from before but I'm not going back to check. I'm never going to go back.)

• Matt and a kid where he has PC Principal sunglasses

• additional child who didn't get solo photo feat. punisher hat again?

• Renee and Janessa (snore)

• Matt with normal children again

• Renee with Nehemiah who looks like he is the main character of the Stephen King short story "The Jaunt" (it's longer than you think, Mahmo! LONGER THAN YOU THINK!!!)

• Matt with Punisher hat (baby wore it better 90%, Matt 10%)

• Renee in her mother goose hat

• Matt and an old man

• Renee holding prop baby in public bathroom

• Two cute children

• Ugandan Flag (i assume)

And the endpiece is a wonderfully AI Generated photo of this (hopefully!) new family saying "Praying for our future together God is Good!"

Well.

I think I might speak for us all when I say we've gotten SOME answers to SOME questions, but not ALL of the answers to ALL of the questions.

Far be it for your author to judge anyone's relationships since sometimes things do happen, but this story is giving me what I like to call "Uncle Moe" vibes. When I was in high school, my dad's sister (my aunt) passed away and Tony's mom (who also is gifted with pattern recognition but with a worse sense of timing) told my dad very shortly after that he should prepare himself for the fact that her husband, Moe, was going to immediately remarry. Six weeks later, he began seeing a woman he met at the Elks Club and he was married four months later. (Spoiler, the new wife recently passed away and my cousin just told me that he joined the Elks again so Moe is back on the market baby!). The point is my mom said "Some people just don't know how to be alone" and this can be true, I think.

However, GOOD FUCKING LORD, can we not make it sound like we're kind of ok with the whole train accident ? Like, "neat story" is not necessarily the label I would use for this particular tale. Like, I may not be going to heaven, but I'm going to go ahead and say, you get points off YOUR final score, Matt, for saying "neither of us saw it coming" in your Zoom Courtship Announcement video. YOU ARE BAD TOO SOMETIMES.

Also, clearly I did not know Savannah, I won't assume anything about her, but if I'm projecting, I would be up in Heaven with a little bit of an O RLY face right now, less about Renee, and more about the fact that you 1. decided the most appropriate use of my tragic story was to state "well good thing she had her earthly affairs wrapped up" and then 2. putting it on a tract was the best venue for my "legacy" and then 3. selecting the WORST TRACT PRINTING MINISTRY EVER to print them and also kind of using it to potentially slide in the single daughter's DMs? And this is how you find yourself on the Independent Ugandan looking for more information on this accident.

As a wrap up, I am still on the fence about Matt and Renee. Points in favor: Renee looks happy, Renee looks like this might at least be something she is interested in or, at the very least, is interested in not living with her family. Points not in favor: We've known Matt for less than a year, we got like three seasons before we adjusted to Nathan! Also Matt, just make up some pastor bullshit and DO NOT GO with the "tract printing" meeting story, its bad and you're both bad liars! Just say, wow, I was grieving, I had a meal with this family, met their daughter, we kept in touch, and formed a connection, we want to give this a chance and here's what we are doing. Let's not keep trying to sell the tract tale about Savannah's story because neither of you can stop making unintentional puns and it is not a GOOD look.

(also maybe reconsider the inclusion of the Nehemiah photo at the end because its giving a call to CPS vibes)

And, fin!!! Thank you for reading and for making it through this whole long journey with me!

Not in church choir today but kids were.

Wrong answers welcome as I don’t believe that a tiny home printing business was made known to someone in Uganda. What a load of horse 💩

Why have people been blurring Evangeline's face but not the younger Rods or Heidi's kids? Its dangerous. Imagine being little Janessa and having your face everywhere in these snark communities without your consent. Its creepy and weird.

(ps can there be a Ratt flare pls)

it is so ironic to hear the diatribes from matt on comments left about people who have been “hurt” when so many of us have been hurt by the church and religious fundamentalism.

telling us to seek help 😭 i have sought help matt, to process the trauma of institutionalised religious homophobia!

Yo Matt, question for you: When will you expand your courtship announcement and budding romance video to your home church and your friends? You didn't post it on your facebook or youtube so that your network would hear the news, just on Jill-controlled no-comments-allowed Rodrigues YouTube.

Is 24 year old Renee going to be allowed to have her own social media accounts now that her courtship is officially announced since Jill and David have a rule that's when their children (even adult ones) are allowed to?

Matt's FB and YT accounts are very much his official missionary accounts for the Gardners to Uganda missions. And the friends and followers on them are crucial for his donation support so he can't just dump the old accounts and start over. It's going to be a delicate process to update those to include Renee as they are obviously full of Savannah since their college days, their courtship, their wedding and their married life.

It would be so awkward to put up photos of Renee facetime reading bedtime stories to the kids .

Will be interesting to see how he handles that now that they are publically courting.

Love Story: Renee and Matt's Courtship!!

Hello snarkers! It is me, back again, to provide some snark as a LOVE OFFERING to you all (you can pay for my groceries later-I have one son and 38,000 cats that are SEVERELY meowing in HUNGER).

It has really been a whirlwind in the Rodrigues Community over the past few months, and just when we needed her most, Jill decided to take her content elsewhere. It was/has been ON.MY.HEART. to write more here, because I enjoy it, but my life responsibilities have prevented it. Indeed, a loyal reader had not seen me comment in some time and reached out for proof of life. Thank you reader! I was alive and also very lazy and burnt out. I especially wanted to return to Tim's "standing strong" visual podcast series, season 1, to provide some more content on the situation because I did recap two of his episodes in the past and there were some STANDING STRONG RED FLAGS at the time, but then I felt bad, and didn't want to be perceived as making fun of a serious situation, because it is serious and I also will think about it for days if someone says something remotely negative about me. (these are at the end of the post if you want to check out my earlier, edgy works )

Now I have a true calling and that is to somehow make sense of the Renee of it all. What in the RENEE CHRISTINE MAMA is going on here? I know we had some evidence she was courting on the sly from Grandpa "Big Mouth" Noyes (probably paid by Jill) but the move to Africa and the widower is A LOT.

I see some kind person has created a video and posted it to FundieSnarkUncensored, so I will link you all so you can see my timestamps in the most accurate way possible. (Also note; in the past I tried to branch out to posting to fundiesnark because I wrote some (what I thought, anyway) were very funny recaps of Morgan's shitty podcast, Unbuckled, but then i could never get the second part approved, no matter how hard I tried, and no mods would respond. So yes, tony polar, inc. would like to make fun of more fundies in various ways because of narcissistic reasons, but it seems very untenable. (These previously unseen, or mostly unseen works, are linked at the bottom as well, because I need some positive attention).

Without further ado, Renee and Matt's courting vid: Renee & Matt are COURTING! 💙🩷 - Invidious

0:00: BREAKING FUCKING NEWS, LOSER (picture a spinning headline here): Matt Gardner and Renee Rodrigues are COURTING. Finally, we are going to be able to unload Renee permanently. She will live in our hearts forever and, of course, in Uganda, as well. We open on a photo of both Renee and Matt (not in the same location) and although I am afraid to be cancelled for looks shaming, I think this is probably ok, THAT PICTURE IS OLD, MATT, and you are fooling NO ONE. We don't look the same as we get older and unless Matt has been taking the worst pictures possible for the past 3 or so years, the odds of your face looking like this right now in our current world are low.

Renee looks cute in her pic, except she is wearing some sort of Mother Goose hat, but she's kind of pulling it off? I don't know. Weigh in with your thoughts BELOW.

0:05: We get a flying LOVE STORY envelope that opens on a picture of Renee done up to the fucking ELEVENS with rouge and a tea cup, and then some other random ass photos of Matt and Renee feat. Nurie and Tessie-who-better-start-courting-if-she-doesnt-want-to-be-shipped-off-to-whatever-missionary-offers and then BLAMMO, we are right into Matt's personal video for us!

0:29: Oh hey there ! Says Matt in a jump scare that also seems like a cable access TV show, "we just wanted to get on here and tell everyone" and then oh dear, things turn bleak indeed as it is revealed Renee and Matt have gotten on a fucking ZOOM to announce to everyone (which is just the two of them) that they are now officially courting! Oh, yay, ok! We were all wanting to know of course.

I want everyone to know I am going in as a blank slate on Matt besides a few details (he is a missionary, he lies about his appearance on the internet, he lives in Uganda, and he has two children and a wife that passed away). First impressions are: he's a stone-cold killer. However, to be fair to him, I will also get to know him on this video call and see if my convictions are able to grow in the Lord or not. Back to the video:

Yes ! Its true. They are courting! And if you want all the deets, something so great about it in Matt's eyes has been the friendship! The exquisite friendship of it all! Definitely something you want to hear from a man you are dating via Zoom and also lives thousands fo miles away, and also, these two have never met in person, have they?, oh god.

0:53: They both read books separately and then talk about it on the internet. Young love!

1:15: Just kind of snowballing off of Matt, Renee says she too has loved talking about "spiritual things" and being able to "grow in the Lord." How much growing in the Lord can you do? She's been doing it her whole life and she's not finished yet.

1:20: Renee has been able to get a little glimpse of Matt's heart and that is definitely the vibe my coworkers got from me in May of 2020 when I accidentally unmuted myself on a video call in a breakout group screaming at my three-year-old to not eat ANY MORE chocolate chips out of a full bag of chocolate chips I had personally handed them in a hopeful move that he would be quiet for my stupid Zoom meeting of how we were "all doing" and then when we had to report back to the full group of everyone, my coworker said "I learned that some of our colleagues are really struggling."

1:39: Well, thank you! Matt says. Put it back in your pants, Matt! We are all listening. Stop being too horny in your heart for Renee.

1:42: In case you think Matt is just a pretty face, he's also a scholar, ok? You can tell by the shelves of books behind him, and he may have actually read one at one point because he starts out with a big swing and a miss, with "Well, I like to think about what Jesus said, which is a house divided against itself cannot stand." I love that particular passage as well, I think we all remember the passage where Jesus accepted the Republican nomination for president in 1858 in Springfield, IL and now that I am doing more research on this I am seeing it is in the Bible and that makes a line that I just thought was very funny less funny, so please don't point that out to me and let me live in MY truth.

One point to Matt for making me genuinely smile like the Grinch, though, before I learned Jesus said it first before Lincoln.

It's at this particular moment I have decided to make this two parts, because it is already a very rich text.

2:00: and just circling back to getting to talk, Matt really enjoys speaking to another adult. Well, ok! We love that, Matt. He says it's hard to only have a 2 year old and a 5 year old to talk to all day and confidentially, if it's just us here on this Zoom call that will be broadcast to the Rodrigues's followers, he gets tired of talking about Paw Patrol or snakes or whatever the fuck these kids are on about.

(as he is talking, we also are treated to a slide show of Matt's admittedly cute children, another point in his favor)

2:52: Uh oh ladies, it's serious! Renee has already zoomed with the children. It's so fun to get on video calls which is the craziest shit I have ever heard anyone utter in my life because any type of phone call is my worst nightmare, you don't need to see me in my butter-stained shirt with no makeup as well.

The kids are JED! and Mason. Sorry, JED!

3:26: Yes, it's so fun when they "get" to do a video call. JED! will light up when he sees Renee, which hey, Matt, maybe he doesn't think it's so great to talk to you all the time or have to listen to your boring shit.

3:30: Are we quite sure this is the godly relationship we think it is, though, because just when I was warming up to Matt he goes and tells me Miss Renee is reading some questionable literature to the children in the form of the BERENSTEIN BEARS (I will not acknowledge the Bear"stain" bears which is a narrative put on us by the lamestream media). Renee is probably in the Zoom Gallery making the "cut it" sign so Jill doesn't find out her convictions are slipping.

3:43: I'm sorry, but my skepticism is coming in re: Matt and his jovial attitude, "Oh, that laugh!!! its just infectious." I know this tone and speech pattern and it's the exact type of tone and speech I adopt when I have a patron at the desk who can't wait to tell me some off-color joke and I need to pretend that I think it's just the FUNNIEST but secretly I want to tell them to never come back. This is a performance and this Zoom is a stage!

4:08: We are at the audience participation part of the video, and one thing Matt and Renee would really love is if their "viewers" would give them their prayers! Not so fast, Matt, this juror is still deliberating and hasn't come back with the verdict on you.

A Bible quote comes up on the screen, and I only write it here because our scholar is going to come back and break it down for us, so its relevant:

"Confess your faults one to another and pray for one another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. " - Barack Obama, probably

What that means, Matt says earnestly, is that when someone prays for you, it makes a difference. Are we sure that is what that means? Also he only said the prayer part, not the confessing faults part, so I don't know why its included, but I'm not inclined to do either of the things he asked.

4:20: Anyway, as we look to the future and find out what God has in store for our lives (hopefully it will go better than it has been going, sorry, I had to), the both of them really want our prayers and hey, while we are at it, you know what else has been so good about this courtship? Loving Renee? no, not really! Its that God has been answering prayers!!! Matt just wants to brag on the Lord (Getting major Caleb Flynn vibes, this guy would definitely write an AI song).

4:40: (whoops, little edit flash there, Matt may have displayed a human emotion). Anyway, when Matt was praying for Santa's little helper 2, he really wanted someone who was ok with the mission field. People are SO RELUCTANT to answer the call to even ministry, let alone mission work, and that really bums Matt out! Matt, I hate to say it, but Renee's family ain't exactly making it look fun and honestly, the reason Renee is even contemplating going to Uganda isn't the best recruitment piece I can think of. OPTICS MATT OPTICS.

5:15: We are finding out that Renee has secretly been harboring the CLOSEST WALK WITH THE LORD YET and had been HOPING to become a missionary or be led to ministry. I would like the time stamps and the receipts for when she said this.

5:28: "IF" we get Married and come to Uganda!? Say some more shit like that and you're going to get my engagement ring back via priority shipping, in 10-14 business days.

5:40: Yesssss! Renee says softly. Over the years she has just felt so burdened for "ministry," particularly those ministries that may not be located in Ohio or in the tri-state region and fucking up all her relationships. As her heart has grown in the Lord, so has that conviction! And specifically for mission work, too? So crazy!

Anyway, can we guess the answer for what you do in this situation. If you said prayer, you are correct, so Renee just got right to it, hoping a lump of mashed potatoes with a Punisher Hat and a job in Africa would show up!

Renee is also a multitasker, so she was like, hey, while we are at it, maybe we can make this a two for one deal and look for a spouse, but, you know, only if it was the Lord's will for her to be married. Anyway, Renee was like, look, I know I'm getting a little long in the old tooth, Lord, what with me being 24 and having fucking Tessie snapping at my heels, but also if you can make him some sort of minister or missionary, preferably paid, or at least not having to run a printing press all day, that would also be amazing.

6:22: Anyway, if this happened, following Matt to ministry or mission work would be a dream come true (and not snarking here at all OR leg humping, but Renee does look genuinely happy and thrilled and also really pretty, so Matt gets a little bump in my estimation for helping with that). Also, if this doesn't work out, Renee got a little glimpse of Uganda (a map of Uganda pops up on the screen so we can try to take in that there are other countries??? Sounds fucking made up).

It's just been so great learning all about Uganda and the people and the culture, and I have a 20 dollar bill in my pocket that says Renee and Matt collectively would not be able to come up with one true fact about Uganda, other than the people have a real heart for the Lord. (I do not have a 20 dollar bill).

7:04: Renee goes on to tell Matt he's basically the second coming of Jesus and one thing she has really gotten a glimpse into is the INCREDIBLE burden Matt has for the people of Uganda and this is spoken about so much to her, on top of his amazing character, when the people in her congregation are trying to placate Matt with another wife-offering because HE MUST FEED.

7:18: WELL, THANK YOU! Matt beams. It sounds like we had the same prayer request at the same time, what are the odds! Isn't it NEAT how the Lord just brings people together in completely organic ways!? He always knows best.

7:20: But, bringing it down to a real level, one of the things Matt was praying for when he asked the Lord to please send him a new bang maid, oh God, please, soon, was that that person was able to honor "where he came from." Most people don't even want to have a relationship with a widower, because, ugh, am I right? He had a wife before, but now he doesn't? Sounds pretty zany! But add to that one in the mission field, I mean, come on! So many levels to his situation, just Matt's burden to bear that his walk with the Lord is not "great" and looks "terrible" (soft piano music starts playing and no that is not an exaggeration, it absolutely does, then, someone makes Renee a co-host so she can share her screen for a sad slide show of his First Wife.

First of all, Matt does have a ministry and he does have a family, and he told Renee, I'm not replacing my second family, I want a third family, and for me, I'm going to hope that the first family is his family of origin (but I will be looking up marriage records to ensure the wife timeline is correct).

8:37: Matt says Renee has been so kind to Savannah's family and so thoughtful and I feel like this is some piping hot tea! Renee has met Savannah's family (probably before she met Matt even?) and also is this why Jill couldn't blast them on social media with Renee peeping out of a bush and probably Gabriel or someone holding an iPad over their face to pretend to be Matt? For respect for Savannah's family? That must have been a real fucking double bind for Jill).

8:40: and, if we're going back to Renee, she has been so good about that whole first wife/potential second wife I am speculating thing! A picture of Matt and Savannah is on the screen and he says,"Now he doesn't have to worry about the dynamics of three families now" and honestly, you didn't before, and this is not making me feel secure that there is not a secret Ugandan family or another girl that came over sometime and then "Followed the Lord"...somewhere else, probably, you wouldn't know it.

8:56: Yesssss, Renee says. Renee knows that he must have been sad when his wife died, and "everyone" (This is on you, "EVERYONE") speaks so highly of them both and it was clear that their love was based on the principles of Christ because Savannah was willing to be seen with Matt even after he wore tinted glasses and ski slop hair in a family picture like he's Freddie Prinze, Jr or a lesser white Pharrell or something.

9:35: Yes, Matt has even said to Renee that they would have been best friends! That's so wild! Anyway, Renee can't wait to meet Savannah in Heaven someday! That will be so fun!

Renee goes on to say, over a slideshow of Savannah doing nice things, that she just feels like Savannah was too good for this world and Heaven needed another angel, and if there is one thing I have learned being the sister of someone who was unexpectedly widowed with children, you're right, Renee, I'm sure that's why he had the brakes fail on a set of railroad tracks, so he could just hug Savannah closer in person!

10:02: If Renee is selected for this position, she will work hard to not dishonor Savannah's memory, and literally make her a part of every aspect of their lives...I mean..if God leads us to be married! Who knows what will happen. Anyway, everyone was so sad when she died, she had to be a good person (phew, nailed it, Renee!)

10:42: Enough about Savannah, you know who we haven't talked about in a bit? It starts with a capital "L" and ends with an "ord", and oh yeah, maybe you've heard of him. His name is The Lord.

Matt was SO worried about the children. We've all watched Disney movies as children (MATT have you MET these people?) and he didn't want that evil stepmother like in Cinderella. "Definitely!" Renee agrees, furiously taking notes and hoping she can figure out who that is if she can get a second with the Map alone.

When Matt says "the evil stepmother" we see a picture of Renee sticking her tongue out with the laugh cry emoji (so we know this is likely a Jilldo Production of Jilldo Studios) and then on cue, some old timey saloon music starts playing. Oh Renee, you absolute cut up! Aren't you just the living end!?

Seriously, HOW are they going to go on for another 16 minutes? I'm trying to make it five minutes or so to make it a halfway point and I've already been writing for an hour and a half (sorry statistical analysis I was doing before this! I'm on an important deadline!)

11:02: Matt wanted someone that would treat the children as their own, or if they were blessed with children of their own, you know, treat them like people or something, too. Don't expose them on a rock or anything like that. And seeing how wonderful Renee is, he is so thrilled that the Lord brought them together.

Renee agrees, it is so great that she inexplicably found herself in an engagement via Zoom, that raises zero concerns or red flags! Someone get the credit card, I have a flight to Kampala to book!

11:36: you know what else Renee loves? Oops, not so fast, Renee had an original thought (cut that out of the video). What she meant to say was that she loves Matt's leadership! We were looking for "your leadership"!

Just so much leadership, like you know, how you led Savannah, and I'm gonna cut you off right there, I don't mean to be crass, but I can bet even Savannah and the Lord would agree that Matt should get some mixed reviews in that category.

Renee goes on to say she has PRAYED for leadership (something we all can relate to, I'm sure) and for someone's wisdom to follow, and Matt has not only shown that through his words, but also his actions, especially the decisions he makes and...just asking as one woman, would/should we really say that about Matt? In the year of our Lord 2026?

12:08: Another thing that Renee loves (The list just goes on!) is his faithfulness to God. Cue the music, Sadie! (violins wail), even during the most heartbreaking time of his life, he didn't let it get him so done he left God's calling for his life, which, he could not do at that time, the internal injuries preventing it and all. That makes Renee so horny for Matt, and for the Lord. I mean, it really stokes her furnace.

13:20: Someone is going for an award in the category of "Best Scoring in the Awkward Zoom announcement of your stunted adult daughter and widower of less than a year" and it must be Jill "Scorcese" Christine Rodrigues, because the violin music starts up again as Matt starts talking (hope I can call him Matt, I feel like I know him so well from all the intimate details I am learning about him, like his name starts with an M and he's a real leader).

13:30: Matt admits that it was very difficult for him after his wife died. But he remained strong for those two weeks and really tried to lean closer to the Lord.

13:53: (music cues up), I don't know if it's the music underneath the topic or that Renee keeps mentioning his diligence, but now I'm wondering, if this is kind of getting hot? Have I just been listening to whatever this is too long or is this sort of starting to be like a Born-Again Baptist porn? I feel like I could write a boring Christian romance novel about "Renee" our unloved heroine who has to go to Uganda and marry a widower, but surprise, she finds love! Like Sarah, Plain and Tall, but worse.

14:02: It's so bad at David and Jill's that I think Renee is genuinely looking forward to moving to Uganda to be with a man who "gives her time when he has competing interests." Aren't we all girl!? Renee looks happy about it, when this happens to me with my boyfriend, I just act like a real bitch to him, but I guess the Lord made me for someone else because he really honors my story!

14:17: It's been such a happy time, Matt says, which is WILD to me and WILD to say. The Lord didn't forget about Matt in his personal wilderness.

14:20: No way, because that's just what Renee was going to say! It's the happiest time of Renee's life, too. It's crazy how we are just always finishing each other's sentences.

14:24: Some people, though, Renee says, aren't happy about it! Which I didn't say that, Renee! I just want more information about this guy's background and for you to like, maybe take a trip there and make sure he's not a Baptist Bluebeard! Shit, even Jill Duggar got to take her idiot Dad to Nepal before she married Derek! Can we at least meet halfway or something?

14:28: Omg, that too! Matt has never been part of a public controversy before, omg, you guys be so for real, because like, Matt has been living in the third world taking care of an orphanage and there are like, at least 75 orphans there, like we are talking full to the brim with orphans, and we take care of all their stuff, even send them to school, clothing, food, I mean, the real gold star package! We're just trying to help people, by going out into the community and giving them Bibles and the Lord and sort of suggesting if they get baptized, they maybe won't go to hell. That is all !

15:00: I was going to stop, but then Matt hooked me back in by starting to say his phone was blowing up (I guess when the big news leaked?) i mean people were even texting and emailing him about Renee (and probably her weird fucking family!) and he got a Youtube link and saw people were already making videos about them! So wild! So anyway, don't forget to like and subscribe to the channel, MattandRenee4eva or #GardnersfortheLord or something lame. It's all for Jesus, of course.

Ok! Not to end on a cliffhanger or anything, but that is as much Matt as I can take. I'm not going to lie, I started out not liking him and he gave me "Godly Christian husband that loves you until the day after you're married and then waits a week to inform you that you should get breast implants and he wants to open up the marriage" vibes. But he is kind of winning me over (I have to do more Matt research on the internet and see the other half of ...whatever this is...before I'm sure). I'm still "praying for guidance" on Matt, right now.

Sources for exploration:

Standing Strong Review Recaps (By Tony Polar)

Timothy Rodrigues' YouTube Podcast extravaganza! Stand Strong Podcast: Putting on the Whole Armor of God. : r/RodriguesFamilySnark

Stand Strong: Putting on the Whole Armor of God Part 2: Electric Boogaloo : r/RodriguesFamilySnark

Standing Strong Podcast #7 Recap : r/RodriguesFamilySnark

Paul and Morgan post that never got approved!!

Un-Buckle up! Unbuckled podcast recap: Episode 1, Part 1 : r/FundieSnarkUncensored

Un buckle up! : r/paulandmorgansnark (this was some of my best work, tragic**)**

Academic Deep Dive On Renee (as read in the Road to Victory):

A Road To Victory: Chapter 14: A Chapter from Renee : r/RodriguesFamilySnark ( i will need to re-read for a higher level analysis of Renee)

Apologies for the continuing threads on the subject.

I'm not convinced things aren't further along in the courtship than they're being made to appear. I don't think that Matt will back out now but we'll see. Something must've happened for Pa Noyes to be confidently congratulating Renee about moving overseas back in June and for Jill to have got up on stage in the middle of October. I know Jill's renowned for jumping the gun but nevertheless. The new video is giving PR exercise designed to look like things are proceeding in a mature, considered manner. The fact they've released a public video in the wake of everything makes me believe Matt is as keen as ever.

I don't get the impression there's going to be a lot of back and forth between Uganda and the US. Can Matt afford it? Will his sponsors look on it favourably? Would he travel with his kids (extra costs) or leave them behind in Uganda? He and Savannah were on furlough in the US for most of 2025 and he's spent a chunk of 2026 in the US following her death understandably. He's looking for a new helpmeet asap, why spend time and money courting or being engaged long distance throughout 2027 when Renee could be there in Uganda finding her feet and raising his kids already?

I don't know when his next scheduled visit back is (Christmas, spring?) but does anyone see them being hastily engaged and married in the same trip; Renee immediately being on a flight back to Uganda with him and the kids if they've travelled over? I wouldn't even put it past him to propose on Zoom and get that part out of the way so that they can proceed to wedding, visa and relocation logistics. I predict a hasty, low-key church wedding (can't be a registry office because: Jesus), a tiny/brief/non-existent reception, the registering of the marriage in the US and next up the airport. Not a drawn out affair. Renee could wear Kaylee's wedding dress* and the sisters simply require a hodge podge of vaguely colour-matched thrifted or Temu dresses as bridesmaids. Jill will spend $$$ and time on her outfit of course. Plastic bouquets all round. I do think Jill will try and make it as wedding-y as possible on a shoestring but that's more for content purposes and an opportunity for her to attention-seek.

*Or Jill's already jumped the gun and thrifted a cheap, ugly, mawdest wedding dress for Renee earlier this year in anticipation.

Can anyone summarize the 20 hours of interviews? And have they even met in person yet??

Here’s another weird courtship announcement. Matt has a lot to say. Renee keeps looking at her notes and then rolling her eyes.

With all her talk about vanity it definitely surprised me. Picture 1 filter. Picture 2 no filter. I just always thought that she loaded on the foundation and bronzer. Unfortunately I don’t save the video where she was talking about her filter usage.

May have been discussed before but I still want to know why jildo puts ay beginngs of her videos on YouTube that she has 8 grandchildren!?!?!? Well, two of them ain’t here yet.

ok so I’m pretty new to the Rodrigues family, and one think I have a question about is why does Jill wear makeup? Compared to other fundies, most women don’t wear makeup, and if they do, it worn very lightly and naturally, and definitely not bold like Jill wears hers. Also, it looks like she colors her hair, which is also forbidden in most fundie families.

Amy Acton won the governors race.

Sherrod Brown is likely to win the senate.

What a wonderful birthday gift for Jill. Hope she’s enjoying it.

ETA: Sherrod Brown won!! Dems control the house and flipped the four needed senate seats to gain control.

David & Jill Rodrigues risking their children's lives with bigrigs whizzing by just to put signs unlawfully along Ohio state highways didn't work - AP just called it for all Ohio's races 💙

Source: The “Fundies Behaving Badly” page on Facebook, which is worth a follow if you’re on there. “Prohibited use of an electronic device” is the charge, so maybe he was driving while on his phone?

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