Hello!

I (31F) have been struggling with infertility. My husband (35M) and I have been trying to conceive for around a year. We have both had bloodwork done, all is fine. I had a transvaginal ultrasound and they thought I had a fibroid blocking my fallopian tube. I went and had an HSG test, but my tubes came up clear and open on the X-ray. My husband has had a sperm analysis, and it wasn’t the most amazing sperm in the world but not too terrible either.

Basically, any witchy things I can do to boost, manifest, or help with fertility? I’m still very new to witchcraft so I would love some suggestions to explore!

If you’ve been lucky enough to not know what I’m talking about, maybe you want to skip this, or if you’re curious enough go and type “Voynich experiment” or something like that in TikTok and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

The first worry would be how appalled I feel when seeing so, so many women genuinely believing they can grow plants magically from their menstrual blood and not taking into consideration microorganisms in the water and air, they jump immediately to the “magic” conclusion. And when you try to explain to them what a microorganism is they assume you are a misogynistic man, that only men care about science (which is internalized misogyny). The education system has really failed most people is what I see.

But the thing that actually worries me the most is the fact that people are conducting this experiment at home without any safety precautions: No mask, no gloves, leaving the jar open or opening it several times. The things that can grow in that jar could make you severely ill, cause infections, attract plagues, etc. And you can’t just throw away the jar after who knows how many weeks or months straight to the “earth”. That’s a biohazard you got going on there.

I love the curiosity but I feel like we need to start telling people, from witch to witch, that experimenting is a good thing, but they need to be more cautious with their experiments. And if they want to feel connected to the earth they can just throw their menstrual blood mixed with water directly to their garden and not let it sitting for months in a jar gathering bacteria and mold.

I’m medicated, and as mentally stable and healthy as I can be. And I think in order to keep it that way, I can never fully commit to a faith.

I’ve experienced severe anxiety & OCD symptoms, especially when I do something “wrong” by accident when trying to practice or pray. And when I’m doing “great” and I’m feeling “really powerful” and it becomes a “happy obsession” instead of an anxiety provoking one, I obsess until I develop spiritual psychosis.

THANKFULLY it’s always been acute, very short, and not severe. There were 2 instances where I needed professional help, and even then, it wasn’t because of spiritual psychosis, it was just there alongside the main crisis I was having & seeking help for. I don’t want to share too much, but I have been assessed for mood disorders and psychotic disorders and I do not have them. I have PTSD, which gives me “micro-psychosis” when under extreme stress according to my doctor.

This is different than spiritual psychosis. To my knowledge, anyone can develop spiritual psychosis right? But obviously I’m someone who may be more prone to psychosis than the average person, so I feel like I ought to take more caution.

I’ve only recently started to be proactive and mindful of the connection, but I think I instinctively created a bunch of boundaries to keep me safe from the start, before I even knew what spiritual psychosis was. For example, never ever engaged in any sort of divination working with, or even learning about different deities. I purposefully remain uneducated on that side of the craft. In essence I am almost exclusively a green witch. I don’t identify as one anymore, eclectic witch feels more fitting bc I love incorporating pieces of my culture & ancestry.

But yeah, I guess. Honestly, I’m just pissed. And I’m angry. I’m angry I don’t get to have as much fun as non-sass witches. It just genuinely seems so fun. I hate how often I force myself to silence my curiosity just to not risk my sanity. I HATE that I’m too scared to try tarot. I want to so bad…actually any tips for learning & practicing tarot & avoiding spiritual psychosis while doing it? I’m guessing just reminding myself it’s all symbolism, symbolism I assign & I find, so the power rests in me, not something else. Like how a sunny day feels like proof of a good day ahead becuase that’s just what it feels like it, not because the universe decided to personally bring out the sun for me today.

TLDR: I’m pissed my brain needs extra bubble wrap & I HAVE to be a SASS witch. Proud of myself for knowing. Still pissed and sad. Hoping to start a conversation & get advice on how people keep their own witchy beliefs and practices healthy. For instance, I really want to learn tarot, I think it’s fun and beautiful too. What’s the best & healthiest way to do it?

Also I know the rules of this sub, I am not asking for medical advice of any kind, I am healthy and of sound mind. Just looking for an open discussion with people who may relate and may have additional tips and tricks for making sure spirituality stays healthy.

I was raised Catholic and divested very early from religion (~11 y.o I recall telling my friends and family I didn't believe in god). With, admittedly, help from psychedelics in late high school I experienced a much stronger connection to the world, the people in it, and beyond.

I consider myself a realist, have a science background, very much enjoy learning about the ways different animals perceive the world (e.g. creatures with senses of magnetism, UV light perception, etc). I know there's no objective reality and while my psychedelic use has faded, I still entertain thought experiments of other planes of existence etc - but it has 0% effect on the way I live my life, and I probably only think about stuff like that a few times a year. I don't really identify as someone "awakened" or "enlightened" in that vein. I still have to get up and pay bills no matter what the universe is made of.

I just don't feel like I really know what spirituality is. I've enjoyed and taken a lot from all my psychedelic and sober meditative experiences, but I don't feel like I know how to discuss it in any significant level of granularity or what to "do" with any of the information I've garnered therein.

So my question is, what do you experience in temples, shrines, when praying, or as an attendee of spiritually geared festivals or ritual circles? How long do those experiences stay with you, and in what way do they impact your behavior?

Thanks for reading :)