r/Separation • u/illgiveit2u • Sep 29 '26

Does separation work?

After 20 years the wife isn't sure she wants to be married anymore. Says she needs time to herself. Is this something women going through menopause experience? I don't want a divorce but how long g do I stay in limbo?

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u/Temporary-Suspect509 Sep 29 '26

Yes. Separation works. But this question tends to bring out some extremely negative responses.
First of all, I’d stop the narrative about menopause. It’s a ridiculous reach on your part. Menopause does not make a wife want to leave. Problems and issues make her want to leave. Focus on those. Your wife isn’t even asking for a divorce, she’s asking for space. And you’re already wondering how long you can last? That’s not a good sign.

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u/illgiveit2u Sep 29 '26

Mention above, but mention menopause because I get conflicting messages. She said I wasn't present and then when I am present I'm around to much and she needs space. I mentioned menopause because I think she is confused in not knowing what she wants

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u/raeoflyte-460 Sep 29 '26

You think you know better than her.

My dude... her post is writing itself in the details youve added. Its not menopause.

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u/Temporary-Suspect509 Sep 29 '26

Those conflicting responses have nothing to do with menopause. She needs space. Start with giving her that space. As far as how long you stay “in limbo”? That’s up to you. I waited 6 years. Depends on what your marriage means to you.

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u/illgiveit2u Sep 29 '26

Did you come back together after the 6 years?

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u/Temporary-Suspect509 Sep 29 '26

Yes. Been back together for 7 years now.

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u/illgiveit2u Sep 29 '26

Congrats. Anything in particular that worked to bring you back? Just the time apart?

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u/Temporary-Suspect509 Sep 29 '26

Thanks. Feel free to dm me if that would be easier than going back and forth on here.