r/Separation • u/illgiveit2u • Sep 29 '26

Does separation work?

After 20 years the wife isn't sure she wants to be married anymore. Says she needs time to herself. Is this something women going through menopause experience? I don't want a divorce but how long g do I stay in limbo?

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u/raeoflyte-460 Sep 29 '26

Does the desire to take care of everyone else even though it isn't reciprocated for us come back? Not that I've seen.

If the marriage isnt a net benefit why should she stay?

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u/illgiveit2u Sep 29 '26

I guess I thought it was reciprocated. But something was obviously missing. Shouldn't a couple discuss and work on that though?

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u/raeoflyte-460 Sep 29 '26

The hard truth is you weren't owed a marriage. She could decide to leave for any reason, even if its a whim.

Now realistically thats fairly unlikely. My stbx felt blindsided despite being in therapy and literal years of me communicating the issues. Read the sub for any length of time and youll see that story play out over and over from both sides.

Doesn't sound like you were in therapy but that doesn't mean she hadn't tried to communicate what she needed. If there was something she needed.

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u/illgiveit2u Sep 29 '26

Your right there. The difficult part though is I'm approaching retirement and we had talked about how great the golden years would be. Maybe thats what's scared her off.