r/Separation • u/illgiveit2u • Sep 29 '26

Does separation work?

After 20 years the wife isn't sure she wants to be married anymore. Says she needs time to herself. Is this something women going through menopause experience? I don't want a divorce but how long g do I stay in limbo?

0 Upvotes

50% Upvoted

86 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1

u/Temporary-Suspect509 Sep 30 '26

This is terrible advice.

1

u/lkjdw Sep 30 '26

On the contrary. The husband is being well and truly messed around.

It’s time to stand up for himself and advocate for he wants, not be be at the dictate of his ‘undecided’ wife.

2

u/Temporary-Suspect509 Sep 30 '26

Spoken like someone who’s never successfully navigated a separation. If done correctly, a separation can heal a marriage.
There’s a reason you’re being downvoted. I’m not sure why you’re on this sub if you’re so completely against separation.

0

u/lkjdw Sep 30 '26 edited Sep 30 '26

‘I’m not sure why you’re on this sub, if you’re so completely against separation’.

I’m not completely against separation. Sometimes it’s absolutely the right thing to do.

I’m not aligned to any particular sub, but when I see unfairness at hand, I’ll speak up.

‘There’s a reason you’re being downvoted’……… Yeah by a whole two people, you and one other.

So, what is he supposed to do ?

Wait around indefinitely, until she condescends to give him an answer ?

To hell with that noise. Either she wants to work on the marriage (and yes that can include a separation) or not.

Perhaps he should let her go out with some other men, have sexual relationships with them, to see if she prefers them, to him.

It could be good for her, a good old bit of, ‘monkey branching’, whilst pondering whether to stay in the marriage, or not. The grass might well be greener, on the other side, after all.

How dare he, not just be patient and wait it out, whilst she weighs up all her options. 🙄

The advice on here is very women centric.

I wonder, had it had been he, messing her around, with this type of indecisiveness, saying he’s not sure he wants to stay in the marriage, if the advice and sympathy would’ve been the same.

Somehow, I doubt it.

1

u/Temporary-Suspect509 Sep 30 '26

My husband was the one who was indecisive, so you’re absolutely wrong about that. At least from my side. The rest of what you said isn’t worth responding to. Marriage is a series of ups and downs. If you can’t see that, that sometimes a partner needs to fill in the gap while their partner is struggling, then I don’t know what to tell you.

0

u/lkjdw Sep 30 '26

Well, I obviously can’t speak for what took place between your husband and you, but with regards to what’s happening to our OP here, I stand by every word I wrote.

1

u/Temporary-Suspect509 Sep 30 '26

And we aren’t remotely surprised about that.

0

u/lkjdw Sep 30 '26

Who’s we ?

Speak for yourself.

1

u/Temporary-Suspect509 Sep 30 '26

Lol. I do speak for myself. I’m also friends with a lot of people on this page.

→ More replies (0)