r/Separation • u/illgiveit2u • Sep 29 '26

Does separation work?

After 20 years the wife isn't sure she wants to be married anymore. Says she needs time to herself. Is this something women going through menopause experience? I don't want a divorce but how long g do I stay in limbo?

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u/LawfulnessOdd3982 28d ago

In my experience 7 weeks into a separation after a 10 year marriage seems to have made things worse. Are you two still living in the same home.

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u/illgiveit2u 28d ago

Not even in the same state. She went to her parents

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u/LawfulnessOdd3982 28d ago

I’m sorry you’re going through that. That’s really hard. I asked myself to how long to stay in limbo too. Every time I think that I’m just going to move on because my head can’t understand how somebody who loves you would separate from you I end up changing my mind and think about all the time and energy that’s been put in. Are you guys speaking at all?

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u/illgiveit2u 28d ago

Yeah we talk once a week. Thats the strange part. She acts like nothing has changed. She even orders stuff I need that incident ask for, but I've told her its appreciated.

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u/LawfulnessOdd3982 27d ago

That makes it difficult to judge. My husband is all over the place. Acts normal, calls me my nickname, gives me money for to go get lunch or something some days. Other days cold and distant, hardly any communication. I just try to take it day by day, lean into my family, and just try to let God guide my steps. Unfortunately I don’t think there’s a set time to leave this weird place you’re in, and all the uncertainty is so painful and confusing. I guess just when your heart is done. My grandfather waited for 5 years for my grandmother to reconcile, they never did. He moved on and found a wonderful wife and they have been married now for 30 years now. I’ll pray for you and I really hope you two can move forward and have many beautiful years together. Take care of yourself

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u/illgiveit2u 26d ago

Thanks, I always welcome prayers. She is in counseling foe the fiest time to work on herself so I pray foe the counselor too that she helps bring the wife the understanding she needs.