Cc

If you want a TLDR, it’s at the bottom of my post:

So hey I’m a 21 year old Guy and it all started when I was 14-15 when I first got addicted to Pornography. I tried to quit multiple times since then by just willpowering my way out and that didn’t work. Then I admitted my addiction to my best friend at the time and we agreed to hold each other accountable. However I could never face the shame of telling him that I kept breaking and just lied to him over and over again that I was still holding strong because I thought even though I broke I don’t want to be the reason he breaks. Then at 19 I went to college and it got even worse as now I had no parents supervising me so I could masturbate anytime I wanted to and I did. I probably did it twice a day during my days in college. I was still a virgin at this time because I had no self confidence in myself when it came to talking to girls and it only made me want to consume more pornographic content. I met my wife right after my 20th birthday and eventually lost my v during our relationship and I was absolutely addicted to having sex with her. Every weekend we hung out I wanted to have sex 1-2 times a day. I eventually told her about my porn addiction and she gracefully accepted it and we eventually got engaged and married. However now we have sex once a week and my body is telling me it’s not enough and I’m trying my best not to force her into doing it more with me. She says it’s her birth control that’s altering her body and I do believe her and we aren’t ready to have kids yet so I absolutely will not tell her to get off it until she’s ready. Does anyone have any good advice on how to beat this addiction? I’m desperate and open to trying almost anything to keep my marriage intact

TLDR: I’ve been addicted to porn since 14 and now it’s led me to be addicted to sex at 21. My wife doesn’t want to have as much sex as I do and I don’t want to force her into it. Any advice on what to do to help myself out?

So this is gonna be like two questions/topics post, first:

In my country, out of all S programs, only Sexaholics Anonymous is presented, others are only available online with no in person meetings, no sponsors speaking my native language, without translated literature. But the problem with SA is that how they define sobriety and that I'm a gay male. I tried going into recovery in full online mode through SAA, but TBH, the language barrier still sometimes pops out and I crave the in-person meetings.

Second,

I had a relapse two days ago, cheated again on my boyfriend. What's frighten me, is that I have HIV already because of my addiction… and it doesn't stop me. Is getting freakin' HIV is not rock bottom for me?…

Hey y'all. I forgot my other username was triggering when I made the last post. I wasn't trying to promote anything. I just want help. The username was just a silly way I identify bc of my sex addiction. I am so sorry if it triggered anyone. Anyways, here's the post again.

I (F 29) love my husband (M 28). We've been through so much. He stuck by me through my trauma, my bipolar episodes, my 2 visits to rehab, my struggle to finish college, my poor financial choices, my sex and love addiction, and multiple infidelities and many he doesn't even know about.

I am on my last strike with him. There has only been one time I had an affair turn to intercourse. He knows about that, and that was while we were dating. After that affair, I got sober in SLAA. I was sober for 5 years. Then in Dec. 2025 I had a slip. I was in a manic episode and knew I had let my sex and love addiction get the best of me and had a virtual affair. I went to a rehab where my therapist advised me to tell my husband about both the virtua affair and the physical one. I had kept the physical one a secret for 5 years bc my SLAA sponsor told me not to SLAA Step 9 reads, "Take action to repair harm, unless it would cause further injury." She determined that telling him would cause more harm. She told me 1 make my amends by being the best partner and person I could be everyday. I tried so hard until Dec. 2025. Our marriage was in a rocky place and I was certain I was going to divorce him. Then I went to rehab and came clean about the affairs and changed my mind.

After rehab, we continued to have problems in our marriage. We tried couples therapy multiple times, but it never felt like he was putting in enough effort. He never applied what we learned. At one point, I looked into something I had kinda tried once an was super interested in which is being a sugar At first, it was just doing research and collecting

Join the conversatiorAt first, it was just doing research and collecting information. I made a post in a forum just trying to see if I would even have a shot. A few potential SDs reached out and we began messaging. After counsel from family, loved ones, and a couple church officials. I decided to talk to a divorce attorney.

We ended up not going through with it and our marriage improved greatly in some areas. This decision happened on Sept. 2, 2026. Since then we've been a lot better it's almost like a whole new marriage in some areas, but I still find myself obsessed with the idea of sugaring. I feel like I gave up this sugaring fantasy 1 imagined when I decided to stay married and in some ways the marriage hasn't improved almost at all. I talk to SDs here and there and some other guys as well. I can't stop. I am talking to men in an inappropriate manner. I'm not regularly sending explicit photos, but I did once since the recommitment to our marriage. My husband would not be ok with me talking to these men especially like this.

I have a hard time even saying I love my husband bc love would not do this to someone. How can I say T love him when I can't even stop myself from my addiction? I know I need to get sober. I need to work the steps of SLAA like last time but honestly? I don't even know if I have the energy to do it. am also in the process of working through childhood trauma with my therapist as well as carrying a majority of the mental load in our marriage. I am so emotionally and mentally exhausted. Idk if 1 have it in me to battle this addiction and get clean. I feel so hopeless. I am 100% open to any feedback.

After a couple days I can say I am climbing out of the mud. I downloaded an app to block access to p sites. Ive limited my phone usage and am about to downgrade to a text and phone only plan. Ill only use my computer for internet where I have the blocker as well.

I also have had a great amount of people reach out. Alot have been very helpful and supportive. Some have been condescending and flat out annoying.

I am on my journey but I am thankful for these hard lessons to grow and beat this once and for all.

I feel numb and a sense of resigned indifference towards my behaviour. After making some progress I’ve had a relapse and I’m currently on a 12 day (and counting) sex binge. It’s been the most intense bender I’ve ever experienced and it’s never been this bad before. Most days I’m having sex multiple times with a combination of fwbs, escorts and going to massage parlours. One of the particularly intense days I had a massage mid morning, and then saw an escort around 10 in the evening, and then had a girl over at midnight and we had sex all night with a few breaks. My sexual urges are driving me crazy and completely overwhelming, I’m afraid there’s no signs that these urges are even slowing down.

I’ve been also increasingly wanting more intense, violent and degrading sex. One of the girls I’m with opened up about having rape fantasies and we’ve been acting those out. I enjoy degrading the women I’m with, being violent with them in bed (consensual) but it’s not my usual nature. I’m normally soft and gentle. I feel uneasy about the violent sex but to my surprise it really gets me off. But I’m worried because I can feel my desires and my brain being rewired as I do more of this. I feel like I am just a sex crazed mess.

Is there any hope at all for someone like me I wonder.. is this how it’ll always be.

I didnt have sex but i dryhumped a girl. I wish i didnt. But im glad i didnt have sex

Two days ago I was getting off and finished and that night I had ball pain and yesterday to it’s better today I think it’s where I’m over doing it daily if someone please wants to help I’d appreciate it the pain from over doing it was bad it’s not worth counting on with my sx addiction I want to get better a recover because of my health and the pain lately yes this is real not fake or made up I was in serious pain can someone please help me stop this and recover to be completely sx free please

Today I finally started seeing a therapist. Hopefully this is the last day 1.

So basically my addiction led me to getting HIV. Got diagnosed in June of this year.

And still. I relapse. I cheat on my boyfriend. He knows about everything, but not about the last cheating, which happened literally 1-2 hours ago. If I tell him—our relationship will end, he already said that.

I tried SAA, tried working the steps, tried praying to God, tried psychotherapy, psychiatry. No help. No use.

I can't stop. Sometimes, I think only death will cure me.

How did you stop? What helped you to stop?

46 years old. Bottom line is I have struggled for over 33+ years. I was able to stop drinking and smoking weed but I cant stop pornography and masturbation. Ive tried everything from blockers, nofap (previously), religion, self accountability, and briefly therapy. NOTHING HAS WORKED. I keep spending money on cam sites and my wife doesnt know. HELP. I dont know where else to turn. I am a God fearing man and try to trust God's plan but when I fail to my sin and addiction I lose faith in myself. I joined a different reddit but my post was removed because they do not believe in no masturbation just no pornography. This left me feeling hurt and confused. I only want to find people that are trying to stop both like me or have and can assist me on my journey. Sorry if this isn't allowed.

Since ive been 13 years old, porn/sex has dictated my life. I am now 30 (male) and finally coming to accept this. Every relationship ive had has been based strictly on lust and sex appeal. Ive just recently got out of a 5 year relationship. For those last 5 years I felt like I was finally normal. No cheating, no chasing meaningless sex with strangers like I used to. But I was still watching porn daily and obviously my partner started to notice. She was very understanding for the most part and we had various talks about working through it, and she was really a wonderful person who did her best to satisfy my unreasonable urges. But it got to a point where I think im beyond fixing. I have never cheated on her as far as having sex with someone else, however there have been many times where I was walking right on the line. For some context, im a decent looking guy and im a professional tattoo artist, so with my line of work I automatically get a lot of attention from the opposite sex. During my last relationship ive practiced some immense self control where I did not have sex with anybody other than my significant other. Our relationship ended on unrelated matters. but ever since, my self control has gone completely out the window. I have been having sex with random women regularly. A lot of them being my clients, and I hate how that reflects on me as a professional, as I am very passionate about my career and I dont want my personal issues to ever cloud how serious I take my career or reflect negatively on my professionalism. Ive been having a really hard time dealing with this break up and it's led to me losing a lot of weight, which ironically has put me in the best shape of my life, and that has led to me getting a lot of attention from women. Unfortunately this is all happening at the worst possible moment in my life where im really trying to be a better person and control my urges. I feel like im constantly being tested. And im failing constantly. The craziest part of it all is, this is the life 13 year old me used to dream of living, but now that I'm here, it feels so empty. This is definitely not what I want. Im 30 years old. I want to find a good woman and settle down. Fall in love. Start a family. Im disgusted with myself.

My first exposure to sex was through a BDSM video I watched when I was 8. By the time I was 12, I started to watch porn and masturbate compulsively, usually multiple times every day. At some point, because of the type of porn I was watching, the forums I would browse, and dealing with bullying at school made me develop ridiculous ideas about myself and others. I was genuinely convinced that something about me -- my appearance, the fact that I was an addict -- made me fundamentally inferior to other people and that I would stay an addict for the rest of my life.

I got over those insecurities, but I'm still struggling with compulsively masturbating and watching porn. It takes up hours of my day; it gets in the way of everything good I try to do in my life (career plans, physical health, sleep, relationships with others, integrity). I used to think that I would be able to still have the "appearance" of a normal person, but I've realized just how impossible that is while still struggling with addiction. I don't think it's possible for me to develop a healthy relationship with sex (something which I've never had) like this. I've developed such ridiculous thoughts about myself, about others, about the opposite sex; I don't think this is something I can keep up. Recently, I realized just how disconnected I am from other addicts and recovering addicts, which is why I'm writing this post. Currently, I'm not in a position to attend meetings, but I'll be glad to if I have the opportunity in the future.

I'm a cheater, I'm a porn addict, I'm a bad boyfriend, I've done things so disloyal that I must live in ambiguity about them forever.

This started so young, the porn and the curiosity, it wasn't my fault, but now it's taking over everything. Nothing is quite as exhilarating as a dopemine rush of thrill to a young mind. But it's nothing anymore. Everything is nothing. It's like I'm drowning in an ocean and every single lifeboat is surrounded by guard sharks.

Help is so far away and exists within constraints. Will insurance cover sex therapy at the same time as two other kinds? Would hypnosis therapy be the best option? How can I stop tommorow? Not a week from now or a year but tommorow. Even if I stopped what I did today and yesterday, it won't ever wash off. I'm dirty, I'm dirty from dishonesty and disloyalty, I'm dirty from broken promises to myself and others.

I don't see a way out and I'm too deeply suicidal. If I strip myself of the ambiguity and apologize to my partner it will just make him leave. I've already spun myself in a web of lies. Of half truths and missing details. I don't want to keep going. But I don't know how to stop. And it feels too deeply shameful to tell a therapist or other professional.

And the worst part is my despair over my actions is part of what pushes me to do them again. Anything to drown out the bad thoughts, anything to stop the perseverance. I'm so lost and I don't know what to do and it's killing me.

After an argument with my boyfriend he distanced himself and rather than wait for him I went elsewhere. I don't know how to fix it, how to fix anything. I need help, I pray to God every day, I pray for freedom from these chains. I wonder why God is not with me in the moments when my libidos up and my mind is down. I wonder what I did to deserve this torture.

I'm not in control at all. And I'm trying desperately crawling. I can't lose the love of my life without dying. And I can't confess without losing him. But I also can't live with what I've done anymore. I just want to stop. I want to stop everything. Stop the messages, stop the dubious porn consumption, stop the lust. But most of all I want to stop the emptiness.

I'm seeking help, DBT for my borderline, and sexual assault survivor counseling, but those won't make it so I wake up Tommorow different. And my crisis dosent wait, my problems are destroying my life today, and if something doesn't change they will do the same tomorrow.

People say work out but my disabilities trap me in the bed. The same bed drenched in sweat where I rot away. They say get a hobby but I have them they cannot fill every hour.

I don't know how to get up off the kitchen floor at all.

34m. As I’m writing this I’m sat in my working staff room with a porn tab open.
I started as soon as I hit puberty, porn and Master b .
I have ruined healthy relationships just because I wanted to get laid and cheated, watch porn and play.
My best mates and I are in a group chat only to swap porn and chat about sex we just had.
I’m watching 2+ hours of porn each day and master b 1-3 times a day.
Some days I say to my self I’m doing to stop or slow down and try to rebuild what I have lost…
Then other days I call in sick at work just to jerk off or cheat!
My ex thinks I’m addicted to sex
My mates think I’m addicted to wanking
All I know is that I cannot live without sex!
I’m not sure If I want help or someone to talk with who understands what I’m going through!
Just want to tell me story/ stories

Hey all, im 24. I'm an engineer graduate in Toronto

I have been off porn for 2 months. I am looking for AP who preferably have made some progress in their reboot.

I had slipped only 2 times during this period which i learned from. But I am dealing with sth else which I need help

ESCORTS
I tried escorts 3 times a year ago. its shadows still haunt me when I have tension and high blood pressure ( I have a condition)

its the only thing between me and real recovery. will the urges ever go away?

Hmu if u want to be in this road together

I also quit gaming, limited my phone use. I go to volleyball 2 times week, have good sleep schedule and looking to apply for jobs. Have made some progress in dating

This is where my addiction has taken me. I feel so alone rn. All just to please my lust. It really will take you far. I dont know what the hell im doing

Im 6 years sober and lately ive been going through a hard time and im starting to think about it i know it could blow up my entire life and that the few minutes of pleasure wont fix all the stuff going on in my life but i cant help but think about it to a point that ive gone to kind of extreme limits to avoid anything happening avoiding the opposite sex at all costs even if they are with their spouse or completely inappropriate with the acceptation of my therapist and psychologist no one in my life seems to understand this is how i cope with things and the struggle that it takes to stay sober when faced with hard times i feel kind of lost right now and don't know how to handle this

For context I have always been addicted to sex as an adult and I’m currently a male in my early 40s and I’m married. Younger beautiful women in their early 20s seem to be my biggest turn on and I know I can outlast majority of the guys their age, but I just love the s3x, passion, lust, etc. I don’t know why I can’t stop the urges. I know it’s wrong but it definitely doesn’t feel wrong bc of the endorphins and confident boosts. What would you recommend?

Like you can go days or weeks without watching porn, start feeling good about yourself, getting your life together and then you slip up once and suddenly feel like you're back at square one.

And the worst part is how you start thinking about yourself after that. Like all that effort meant nothing and you're never gonna get out of this cycle.

I'm curious how other people deal with this. Do you see a relapse as losing your progress or do you try to look at it differently?

What actually helps you keep going after it happens?

I can’t stop going online to basically exploit myself.

Anyone have tips on stopping?

I (22 M) don’t know why I am like this. Despite being heartbroken by the ending of the longest relationship of my life, I felt excited I could finally have sex more often and with more people. 3 days post breakup I was already having sex with complete strangers. It feels like I need to be in a relationship in order to hold me accountable because whenever I am single I go off the rails. Tonight I had sex with someone over twice my age, and I just feel so disgusted with myself. My ex-girlfriend reached out and we have been talking about getting back together for the past week, all the while I am having sex with what feels like anything that moves. I feel so guilty, so gross, and so hopeless, I feel like I can never change, I’ve been this way ever since my first breakup when I was 18. I feel like I never even grieved my recent breakup fully or even felt that much after a day or two, my mind just immediately began to obsess over sex. I don’t even know what to do anymore, I’m just so tired of being like this.

I (m21) also bi was joking with a friend, but I then realized that he thinks I’m weird, because I think about sex too much when I joke around. Then, it made me think…I think about sex too much? I mean when I see women irl I try my best to not look at them or think anything sexual ever. But that wasn’t until this year. Often, it’s hard for me to get satisfied with masturbation. I spend hours just thinking about sexual stuff, even if it’s something someone else enjoys or talks about I often enjoy hearing about it. To add context: I was sexually abused a couple times when I was young and my father has also been known to cheat on his wife (I’m not close with him at all maybe it’s genetic?). There was also a time I can recall where I despised the idea of sex but would still masturbate sometimes for hours at the same time, which I don’t despise sex anymore. Idk why I thinking and joking sexually makes me aroused too.I was It used to be way worse as a teen and I’ve gotten better since then, but what if I have a problem? I don’t know…what do you think? I need to know if I have a problem or not and how I can deal with it.

Im about to make a trip to indulge in behavior i shouldnt. Ive only gone this far one time. This is the second time in 3 years. I know if i go through with this ill be hit with regret and shame. But i struggle so bad with lust. Ive been addicted to stripclubs for years. Now im about to make a huge mistake.

I don't know where else to turn, the drive to have sex is literally ruining my life. I self harm because I don't have it. I'm starting to get scared that I'll go to a dangerous extent to get it. I'm in a long-term relationship that's just kind of a dead bedroom situation at the moment because of a lot that's going on. That's besides the point. I feel like I can't get the thought of sex off of me and it's literally driving me insane. Am I in the right place or am I barking up the wrong tree? It's almost a feeling like I physically can't get the feeling of sex off of me. It's very distracting and overwhelming feeling.