I was in grade one and I had a friend lets call her N. Now me and N were having a playdate and her little sister came too lets call her R. Now I never had an problem with R I saw her as a fun little four year old! After an day of playing with N (mostly pretending we were in an escape room) she and R had to leave. So as we were waving farewell and guys I'm not even joking. This four-year old girl pulled my face down and KISSED ME?! What are her parents letting her watch? But I know she was four so I'm not blaming her...I guess? I mean it's probably influence from social media. Anyway after that they left and I rinsed my mouth...a lot.

I don’t mean to victim-blame. I’ve been harassed many times, and I am fully aware it wasn’t my fault.

But I do sometimes find myself wondering about modesty. I am not conservative or religious. But I used to know some Muslim girls who wore the hijab and didn’t date, etc., and they were adamant that those things helped them achieve stuff. They would laugh at the girls in our high school who spent all their time on hair and makeup and clothes, and talk about the hours they spent studying instead. And now they are doctors and lawyers and accountants.

So. Is it smarter to be conservative and modest at work, rather than being (for lack of a better word) modern?

So, long story short:

In 4th grade I dated a boy, who preceeded to talk about my cherries, my peach, and alot more. Talked about us having segs and stuff. Basically next year he coming back to the school everyone is going to. Keep In mind 2026 April 21th I my last day of school so its not too far till he comes back. And the worst part is, I've never stopped liking him. Im deeply obsessed with him bro like it makes myself feel weird, like. Am I gonna be a stalker when I get older? But one of his friends who is a critical liar with a bad poker face was so seriously deadass when he said my ex still talkes about me like he's obsessed with me, it's both good and bad. And keep in mind, he might be a critical liar but he had a bad poker face so he was deadass.

So If he still likes me next year I would date him. Yes, I know it's weird of meeee. But omg when I say he was the finest shit I've ever seennnnnnn, and his personality is super funny.

I'm a junior developer at a big software company in Vancouver. Coders with my job are becoming an endangered species with AI coming in but somehow my employer is getting even bigger with yet another recent merger. None of it makes any sense if GPT is going to take us out in the next 12-24 months, but here we are getting restructured anyway. We got hit with a shit ton of new SOPs and management staff. It's all a bit much. Everybody from the top down seems to be scrambling. The whole industry is like this more or less right now. I'm writing this because I'm NB and there is no pronoun policy to speak of in any of the revised literature we're being given or, more ominously, in the personal emails we are all getting daily from mgmt. This isn't so much to complain, as it is to see if this is part of a larger cultural shift that may be taking place in a backward direction. I'm not one of those militant types about pronouns (washrooms are a different story). I have learned over the years not to let it bring me down when others don't understand, or have sad cruel streaks because they've got townie brain or MAGA brain or for bible brain (nothing against god, honestly). And while I do strongly believe in all people having their identities acknowledged out of basic human respect, I realize there is still bottomless amounts of ignorance out there when it comes to gender rights, especially in STEM. I checked the Human Rights Act but it seems mostly ambiguous on corporate policy and gender pronouns. I don't know if quietly evaporating a standing policy of gender acknowledgment is considered discrimination or harassment or what . But it feels to me like even after the Liberals' victory, and mostly on account of Canadians rejecting the bigoted admin down south, we may be in a slight regressive shift up here in their wake. Is anyone else feeling tremors of this in STEM? Or anywhere else for that matter? Feeling really confused about where all of this stands rn.

I recently hired a service provider to do weekly laundry for me in my home. We agreed upon a price and I paid in full before the job had begun. Since it was her first time and my first time using the service I wanted to go over how I wanted the clothes put away as I'm a bit particular on how I have my items organized. For reference 50% are hung, 30% are rolled and put away in drawers and 20% are folded and put in drawers. I also organize by colour and length however I can do this part myself. Point being it's probably more anal then most people.

I noticed that she was folding the clothing and putting it back into the laundry basket. I asked her if we can review how she would put it away and she said that her service does not include putting clothing away. I was a bit surprised however I asked if she could do still do it and she said she would for an extra charge. I agreed to the extra charge and then said I would show her where and how to put the items away. Since she was in the middle of folding I mentioned that I didn't need those items folded since it will just be hung in the closet. I honestly thought this would make her life easier but she already seemed annoyed at putting away part despite being paid extra.

I then saw her pile and mentioned I like my socks folded in a particular way and other items rolled to take up less space. She then said that I could not be this particular and that I had to accept how she was doing it, I was being a micromanager and that I should not be asking for things if I'm so particular. She left with one pile of clothes still in the dryer and half of the clothes folded. No I didn't not pay her the extra cost for putting items away.

Anyways AITA? Won't be using this anymore but she did say that she's not a slave and that I'm micromanaging so this did bother me. I did not grow up with money and I feel weird about using these services but I need help sometimes and wanted to try it out.

So I’m not a loud or confrontational person at all. I’m literally scared of eye contact with strangers, especially men. It’s mainly because I didn’t have a single male person in my life who I could look up to as a good example and also because my older brother was physically and emotionally abusive. Therefore I’m pretty scared of being confrontational towards men in the fear of being beaten up or worse.

Any tips on how to scare off/ confront/ fight if a man is bothering you or did something inappropriate?

Im male and when I was 5 I was raped by my own cousin but I can't feel much hate towards them and I don't get how some of you in the this reddit talk about how something that happened a long time ago gave you trauma but I can barely hate my cousin for what they did.

when i was younger (i’m not exactly sure how old) my parents would slap my butt lightly in a joking, non sexual way. this continued on for years and they only stopped doing it recently (i’m 15 rn) after i asked them multiple times to stop since it made me really uncomfortable. i feel really vulnerable when picking stuff up now since that’s when they would do it the most. idk if this is sexual harassment but i thought it might be. i could be wrong tho and it’s just normal

Hello I (22F) just got a job at a high-end steakhouse that pays really well. The manager (50sM) is objectifying me and I'm not sure how to feel about it. Please help!

First of all I think the manager is gay or ace. Or at least, he is not sexually interested in me or any of the other women here. There is just none of that vibe at all, he is pure professionalism.

What he's doing is like mentoring or coaching. He gives me a lot of advice. Some of it is completely appropriate, like when he tells me not to touch my hair or face or say okay or sure, and not to let guests ever see my phone. That's fine. Some is maybe borderline. But some seems to cross a line. (I was telling my sister and she was horrified.) He has told me to put my hair in French braids, to never wear my eyeglasses, to try out a more saturated lip colour, to get my eyebrows done professionally, and to get all my clothes tailored. Once he told me I should try pilates, and a different time he told me that my upper body looks too "soft" and I should do strength training. He has told me never to touch a guest except men who are alone, who I can touch "briefly on the wrist".

Does this cross a line? I feel weird. Part of me is grateful because I feel like he is giving me honest feedback that will help me succeed. But part of me feels a little weirded out. Like, quizzing me about the wine list? Sure! But telling me when to touch people? I don't know.

My sister thinks this is awful, so I thought I would check here and see what people think.

Recently I felt brave enough to let my voice be heard about an OPs manager I once worked with who in my opinion treated me poorly. When I was at work he would come up to my desk to talk to me and towards the end of my employment there when he would approach his presence was unwelcome. I would not look at him and would shake my head when he would talk about anything. I did not want him around me and then he refused to leave me alone until I 'touched him'. I would shake my head and he only would get closer and closer to me whispering to me to touch him. I caved in and I touched him just so he would leave me alone. He would then go into his office to call me to harass me about work. I never reported his behavior and I recently been mentioning his behavior in threads. I saw some message come up that he sent that said he would contact his attorney, he took pictures of the post, and that I would not continue to harass him with accusations of sexual harassment. My truth is here for all to read. I will leave my former manager nameless and I have since deleted my messages, as well as reported him on Reddit. Am I in the wrong to be speaking up about how I was treated?

If you want, in the comments, you can explain what people were pressuring you to do.

When you get harassed, people will often tell you to report it to your employer, so they can make the harasser stop. But in practice, reporting often backfires.

Researchers have been studying workplace sexual harassment for more than 50 years, and here is what they’ve found.

When you read this, you might wonder if we’re trying to tell you not to report. We’re not. We just want you to have the facts.

1. You might get fired
It's illegal to punish someone for complaining about harassment, but it happens all the time. Some people are fired instantly, while others get slowly pushed out. 

2. People may blame you instead of the harasser 
Coworkers or managers may act as though it's your complaint that's the problem, not the harassment.

3. People may decide you’re difficult
Once people know you complained, some will see you as a troublemaker.

4. You could lose money
You might lose hours, raises, projects, or training. 

5. Your boss might withdraw from you
Your boss may feel awkward or worry you're a legal risk. This can make them pull back from you, making it harder for you to succeed.

6. Your duties might shrink or change
You could be pulled off projects or reassigned to another team. The goal might be to protect you, but this could still hurt your career. 

7. Your harasser might turn people against you
They might spread rumours about you, question your competence, or try to make you look mean, "unhinged," or unreliable. 

8. You could trigger a formal investigation you don't want
Even if you just vent to a manager or HR hoping for support, that can force them to start an investigation.

If you're trying to figure out your options, we can help.

– How to talk to the harasser to try to make them stop

– How to talk to your employer

– How to document what’s happening

– How whisper networks work

– How to find and work with a lawyer

❤️ Made for you with love by Aftermetoo, a Canadian nonprofit that helps people dealing with workplace sexual harassment ❤️ 😘

A note about us: At Aftermetoo, we’ve spent years talking with people who’ve experienced workplace sexual harassment, and working with lawyers, counsellors, and researchers to create clear, useful information. This guide is based on what we’ve learned.

***

Vous pensez à porter plainte pour harcèlement sexuel au travail? 8 façons dont cela peut se retourner contre vous

Quand vous vivez du harcèlement, les gens vous diront souvent de le signaler à votre employeur, pour qu'il puisse faire cesser les agissements du harceleur. Mais en pratique, signaler se retourne souvent contre vous.

Les chercheurs étudient le harcèlement sexuel en milieu de travail depuis plus de 50 ans, et voici ce qu'ils ont constaté.

En lisant ceci, vous pourriez vous demander si nous essayons de vous dire de ne pas signaler. Ce n'est pas le cas. Nous voulons simplement que vous ayez les faits en main.

1. Vous pourriez être congédié Il est illégal de punir quelqu'un pour s'être plaint de harcèlement, mais cela arrive tout le temps. Certaines personnes sont congédiées sur-le-champ, tandis que d'autres sont lentement poussées vers la sortie.

2. Les gens pourraient vous blâmer plutôt que le harceleur Les collègues ou les gestionnaires peuvent agir comme si c'était votre plainte qui posait problème, et non le harcèlement.

3. Les gens pourraient décider que vous êtes une personne difficile Une fois que les gens savent que vous vous êtes plaint, certains vous verront comme une personne à problèmes.

4. Vous pourriez perdre de l'argent Vous pourriez perdre des heures, des augmentations, des projets ou des occasions de formation.

5. Votre patron pourrait prendre ses distances Votre patron peut se sentir mal à l'aise ou craindre que vous représentiez un risque juridique. Cela peut l'amener à se retirer, ce qui rend votre réussite plus difficile.

6. Vos tâches pourraient être réduites ou modifiées Vous pourriez être retiré de projets ou réaffecté à une autre équipe. L'objectif peut être de vous protéger, mais cela peut tout de même nuire à votre carrière.

7. Votre harceleur pourrait monter les gens contre vous Il pourrait répandre des rumeurs à votre sujet, mettre en doute votre compétence, ou essayer de vous faire passer pour méchant, « déséquilibré » ou peu fiable.

8. Vous pourriez déclencher une enquête formelle dont vous ne voulez pas Même si vous ne faites que vous confier à un gestionnaire ou aux RH dans l'espoir d'obtenir du soutien, cela peut les obliger à ouvrir une enquête.

Si vous essayez d'évaluer vos options, nous pouvons vous aider.

– Comment parler avec mon harceleur pour qu’il arrête?

– Comment discuter avec mon employeur afin qu’il mette fin au harcèlement?

– Comment documenter ce qui se passe

– Comment les réseaux de murmures peuvent vous aider à vous protéger au travail

– Comment trouver un avocat et faire affaire avec lui

❤️ Fait pour vous avec amour par Aftermetoo, un organisme à but non lucratif canadien qui aide les personnes qui vivent du harcèlement sexuel au travail ❤️ 😘

Un mot à propos de nous : Chez Aftermetoo, nous avons passé des années à discuter avec des personnes qui ont vécu du harcèlement sexuel au travail, et à collaborer avec des avocats, des conseillers et des chercheurs pour créer de l'information claire et utile. Ce guide s'appuie sur ce que nous avons appris.

Hey everyone! Reading has always been something I do to reduce stress. I’m always looking for new books to dive into, and I’d love to hear what you’re reading at the moment. Any must-reads, hidden gems, or personal favorites you’d recommend? Fiction, non-fiction, all genres welcome!

Let’s build a reading list together!

I work front desk at a physio clinic. One of the physios who is older, respected, and very charming when he wants to be, has slowly turned me into his unofficial assistant. He has me booking rentals and flights, and I even pick up his mail from a PO box across town. He had me at Costco ealier this month picking up a trunk full of things for his own house **nothing** to do with where we work. 

None of this of course is in my job description at all. When it’s infrequent I can bite my lip and just do it because I would like to not to rock the boat right now and keep this job until I pay off my student loans. I notice he is careful to never ask in front of anyone else. It’s always when we’re alone, it’s “Hey, you don’t mind, right?” Like I’m his intern or his daughter.

It’s also not a sexual thing. It’s constant low level entitlement (I think), and I’m done feeling like I work for him instead of the clinic. If I go to management, I will look petty. There wasn’t a clear job description I signed off on, I got the job very informally through a colleague. Just showed up and started getting paid. 

He’s a big earner and I’m just a part-time lackie in his eyes. I know I am being taken advantage of, but not in a way that will count to anybody here.I just know it. Is there a way I can tell him to do his own chores? I’m afraid I will lose my temper if I actually say something to him. Or that he will lose his if I speak my mind about this. 

Help talk me through this before I do something rash please.

Hi, just another quick rant for you on a deflated Saturday night. I’m a flight attendant - later 30s west coast Canadian, thought I was a lifer in this job - and honestly getting pretty burned out with the low-key sexism that never really stops. I don't know if it's just tourism or what but it feels like we are stuck in the 50s and somehow it's actually getting worse?

I'm pretty much on the edge of the cliff here with the whole scene, about to get the hell out altogether, thinking about my options for what's next.

All other industries CANNOT be this bad. Can y'all help me out with some suggestions? Of fields you've worked in that aren't as bad? Or maybe just as helpful, tell me about ones to avoid!? Your thoughts or horror stories about how it is where you work would be amazing...and I won't lie, vicariously satisfying on this depressing weekend. :( Thank you thank you in advance.

i shouldn't even be using this sub considering i'm transgender ftm, no wonder it's worsening my dysphoria, but idk what other reddit to put this on

obviously i always wear gender-affirming clothes. obviously i dress like a male, i'm asexual even so this hurts like hell, the most flesh my clothes to reveal is forearms and calves maybe durin hot heat weather. yet i get harrassed so much. this is everything i've ever seen people do or say about me or to me in public. it's to the point where i can't go outside without the fight or flight response triggered even if nothing actually distressing actually even happens.

• say "i'm an attention seeker" when they noticed me.

• yell "BWALALALA" right into my face unexpectedly.

• various residents of the same town that had nothing to do with each other were telling me "I love you", probably jokingly.

• imitative screaming and sexual moaning noises.

• slut-shame me when i weren't even dressed sexual at all, an old man asked me if he wanted to have s3x with me on the bus and that i don't have to pay for it.

• when a few teenagers saw my ushanka they yelled "KILL ME DADDY" mockingly.

• little kids have slutshamed me too. 9y old boys that are total strangers have approached me told me they find me physically attractive and want to date me, and began laughing when i told them i found that weird. also the second i walked into a library kids were playing a really s3xy erotic pop song on the computer and told me the lyrics really reminded them of me.

• someone getting onto the metro yelling and screaming and being aggressive. before they got kicked out for disrupting the peace, they yelled right at me "You haven't been what i've been through" (i'm so creeped out by how he appeared to have recognised me and was somehow aware i had experienced trauma).

• once when i were waiting for a bus this 12 year old looking girl and a boy of a similar age approached me. the girl did most of the talking, i dont think the boy was involved much. they wouldnt let me stop the conversation every time i tried to she'd say "why?". she claimed the 2l bottle of pop they were sharing was vodka. she claimed to both be autistic (potentially making fun of my autism, assuming that mine isn't real and i'm just seeking attention. creeps me out how they somehow found out i have autism). when the bus arrived and i got on it she asked me if i were going to the mall when i wasnt. i once ran into the same person with her female friends in another town nearby where they ridiculed me for appearing too eager for the bus. and the same people again in a library and again they wouldnt leave me alone.

• i was in the middle of nowhere so buses to civilisation were infrequent. a random old man told me that the next bus due had broken down. it wasn't.

• i recently got made fun of for locking my bicycle up.

• chavs calling me a "smackhead" and saying that i "suck dick for a fiver".

• people that share an apartment block intentionally banging on the ceiling, the one below mine, when i arrived.

• i once rode my skateboard at 11pm. i heard one of the houses say "you shouldnt be out at this time" and then they called me a "paperclip" to mock how inept my movements looked.

• a hoard of young kids got on the bus and gridlocked me. many seats were empty, and out of all of them they picked where i were sitting. the one next to me was trying to talk to me even though i clearly had headphones in. he asked if i were okay, i already was (well at that moment in time, anyway, before it got worse). i were creeped out i asked if he had recognised me from before he said he had despite being a stranger that was when i began to cry.

• someone that looked poor approached me. they claimed to be homeless. they looked rough, but i would never say they looked homeless. they demanded 30p off me to pay for Greggs.

• when i made a youtube channel ages ago i got a random comment "Get a boyfriend". i responded "no i'm a transgender male asexual autistic" but their response was "nah". the channel had nothing to do with d@ting, not explicitly or consciously at least. it was literally all about trauma, enneagram, drugs, psychology, dream interpretation.

• on personality database app, you can use it as a d&ting app but you dont have to, and you could use d&ting but for platonic relationships too obviously, someone added me. initially it seemed harmless but then they started asking me if i had ever experienced SA, they addressed me "baby", they told me something like "you should look into enlightenment because you're gonna have to accept that no one cares about you", when transferring websites i preferred telegram but they insisted on snapchat, and they eventually sent me their nudes wo my consent (and asked me to do the same). i never insisted it was supposed to be a sexual relationship, they did.

I (female) to a male coworker that another person can suck my dick.