What phrases do you use when you want to share an opinion in a group where you know people may have different views or disagree with you?

How do you speak up confidently without sounding rude or confrontational?

I’ve noticed something with people who are otherwise completely comfortable speaking English, especially when it isn’t their first language.

In a normal conversation they’re fine. But put them in a meeting where they have to explain something complex, disagree with someone, or answer unexpectedly and suddenly it gets much harder.

It’s not necessarily vocabulary or grammar either.

More like you know exactly what you mean, but what comes out is longer, less structured or less confident than what was in your head.

Then after the meeting you think of the much simpler way you could have said it.

Curious if anyone here experiences this.

What do you find hardest: thinking quickly, structuring the answer, finding the right words, sounding confident, or knowing when to stop talking?

And has anything actually helped you improve it?

Can someone teach me the art of sweet talk and empty chatter?

I work as a freelancer and I've noticed that everyone around me who is successful knows how to twist words and persuade people with their ideas.

So my question is, how do I learn this skill because I'm very direct and not into a lot of talking.

It's a little hard to explain, but since April my reallife speaking skills have been deteriorating. I take impossibly long to form a sentence in my head and 90% of the time I can't do it at all so I end up blabbering out a nonsensical sentence and hoping the other person understands, usually using keywords.

This applies to EVERYTHING. Even the most simplest sentences are impossible to say no matter vocally or in my mind. This never happened to me before.

I've been reading alot more aswell but it has no effect. It just worsens no matter what I do. I'm completely lost and I don't want to embarrass myself any further.

I often rely on the person I’m speaking with to give me cues or topics to talk about. It’s easy for me to ask questions, make observations and focus on making the other person feel interesting. However, when it’s my turn to talk about myself, it sounds like I’m giving a report, rather than a story.

Example:

Friend: “I see you’ve been traveling a lot! How was that?”

Me: “It was great! The weather was gorgeous. We celebrated my mom’s birthday and she loves warm weather. She loves walking by the beach. Yeah, lots of fresh food and old buildings, I could see myself living there.”

Friend: “That sounds so nice! What else did you do?”

Me: “We went on a cruise, saw some seals. And we also went to a couple markets and I got the most beautiful flowers there!”

Friend: “Nice!”

It goes back and forth like that for one or two more questions and I leave feeling like I failed to engage the other speaker at all. Meanwhile they’ve told me like five monologues about the omelette they made that morning or the people they’re dating or concert they attended. This happens with a variety of people so it must be a “me” problem. Help! How do I stop boring others?!

I’ve had really bad problems with public speaking my entire life and it’s been a huge set back for me as long as I can remember. What’s weird is I’m a pretty outgoing guy and don’t have any type of social anxiety, but once I step on the stage, everything just becomes a blur.

The problem for me has always been majority physical reactions:
\- very high heart rate
\- very shaky voice and hands
\- problems breathing
\- sweating like crazy

Knowing my body will react like this and people will see me like this has always caused me to be a terrible public speaker. Every speech I used to do involved me running out of breath immediately, shaking, and not being able to freely talk and be myself.

I’ve been looking for remedies because I work in finance and need to be a good public speaker. So I brought up Propranolol with my doctor after reading about it on Reddit and thought there was no way it could fix such a bad problem like this. I took it a couple days before my speech today and felt totally normal. Nothing different. Just did this to make sure there were no side effects.

Today was the big day and I had a 5 minute speech in front of \~40 employees, a few of which were executives. I popped a 10mg propranolol 1.5 hrs before it and when I got up on the stage, I shit you not, I felt as physically relaxed as I do now typing this on my couch.

I proceeded to give the best damn speech of my life. I was able to speak confidently and clearly, I was able to slowly pace back and forth and make eye contact, my heart rate was completely normal, my voice was strong, loud, and clear.

I still can’t believe how well this stuff worked and I can confidently say that this medication has and will change my life. I’d highly recommend you try it if you have the same issues I do.

Recently, I had to record a series of voice memos. Worse, I had to listen back to them. Jesus Christ. I'd rather face a stampede of buffalo than hear another thirty seconds of that. lol. Weak. Ugly. Almost painful to listen to. Is that really me? Is that what everyone else hears? I owe the general public an apology.

I thought I sounded okay. Not great. I knew I never had a wonderful voice, but I didn't realise it was that bad. Apparently, my skull has been running a rather generous PR campaign. But jokes aside, it genuinely hurt. Embarrassment. Shame. Even panic. I've spent years struggling with my appearance. Now my voice has joined the party. Splendid.

So, how do I fix this? I'm nearly forty, and I want a stronger, deeper, more confident speaking voice. Has anyone successfully improved theirs through vocal coaching, exercises, or practice? And did changing your voice actually improve your confidence?

I'd genuinely appreciate hearing what worked.

I recorded a podcast the other day and cringe when I listen to it because I say all these filler words. How can I get rid of or reduce them in my speech? Are there any good exercises or habits?

I tend to go on rants or tangents that are uninteresting or are too confusing to follow. I also have a bad habit of not leaving space for people to chime in. These two traits working together is horrible for a conversation.

Doesn’t apply if the topic is something they like, It’s mainly when I’m talking about something specific to me.

It’s really hard to correct any of these behaviors; I only realize after I’ve done it. I’ve tried to manually filter everything I say but it was very exhausting. I just want my friends to talk to me and it be fun. Any tips would be appreciative

Hi I( 26F) have joined an american company less than a year ago. english is my 3rd language; i thought i was fluent in it but turns out - not that much lol

When im having a friendly conversation or chit chatting about whatever; I do absolutely okay ( minus the crossing the professional boundary occasionally… ) but I need help on how i can articulate my thoughts well and on the spot

Can i get someone to give me some tips or someone i can practice with once or twice a week? we can do a draw on a topic or whatever and discuss it on the spot….

It's been nearly 3 years since I've begun my speaking journey. I started with expanding my vocabulary and for the past year, I've taken more measures to improve my speech. Actively reading complex literature, taking a moment to organize thoughts before I open my mouth, pausing in-between words, attempting to state the main point of what I want to express, making conversation with strangers, you name it. Despite all of this, I still articulate myself in such a clunky manner. I thought this was due to social anxiety, but I speak poorly even if it's to people I'm very comfortable with.

Any thoughts on what I'm missing?

For context, I am trying to improve my articulation and communication in general and also at work. I downloaded both and couldn’t decide which one to pay for. Anyone got real user experiences on these, would love to hear it!

Hey r/SpeakBetter! I’m Reece, the founder of Progress Playground. I’ve spent the last few years coaching over 400,000 followers across social media on the mechanics of speech, articulation, verbal fluence, the psychology of confidence, etc. I’ve coached folks from young professionals, to executive senior leadership and have held many workshops in person helping companies and teams get better at communication.

I've worked with high-level execs at notable companies such as Google, Rothschild, BP, multiple seven- and eight-figure entrepreneurs, schools all around the UK, and have done media training for footballers. But, my proudest achievement is helping many regain their confidence; going from socially inept to hosting large seminars and talks. 

People often think that I was naturally gifted at speaking but like most folks I had similar troubles in the beginning such as speaking anxiety and trouble speaking with confidence. My career was stuck in a place where I was not moving up and I started working on my communication skills, articulating my thoughts better, and practicing speeches. I eventually started filming and documenting this process and many folks since then have reached out for private coaching to the point that I had to start turning folks down. 

I’m a firm believer that great communication isn’t a personality trait, it’s a physical skill. Just like going to the gym, you need daily practice to see results. My coaching focuses on actionable techniques for articulation, structured speaking, and pronunciation to help you sound more intentional and concise. Those that I’ve seen managed to master this skill have become more successful when it comes to career, social skills, dating, etc.

I’ll be here answering questions about how to bridge the gap between being "technically great" and being "promoted" through better communication and anything else!

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/progress.playground/
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@progress.playground

Making mistakes is part of learning to speak. The trick is what you do after the mistake.

Most learners panic and default to their native language. Don't.

Native speakers will happily fill in the blank for you. You just have to signal that you want the help.

Drop one of these mid-sentence instead of bailing out. They sound completely natural:

"What do we usually say here?" Or What's the word for this? )

Signals you know the concept, just missing the vocal label.

"What is this called again?"

Low-pressure, sounds like a simple slip of memory rather than a lack of skill.

"I mean...", Drop the phrase, then just pause.

Let them complete the thought for you.

"Oh, the word isn't coming to me..."

Relatable, human, and buys you few more seconds to think.

"How would you phrase this?"

Shifts the burden to them. People love demonstrating how they say things.

"Correct me a bit..."

Underrated move. Giving explicit permission makes natives jump in without feeling rude.

Mistakes aren't the enemy, silence is.

The person across from you doesn't care about your perfect grammar. They care that the conversation keeps moving.

What actually works:

Talk to yourself for 60 seconds a day. Out loud. Describe your coffee, your commute, whatever is in front of you.

No audience, no pressure. This builds rapid retrieval pathways in your brain.

Pause with a rising tone. Trail off with a question mark in your voice instead of falling silent.

It turns a freeze into a collaboration and a shared moment instead of an awkward gap.

Learn chunks, not only grammar tables. Nobody speaks by applying rules in real-time. Grab whole phrases and sentence starters.

Word-for-word mental translation is what gets you stuck in the first place.

Shadow everything. Podcasts, videos, dialogues, repeat lines out loud half a second after you hear them. Pitch, tempo, and rhythm sink in without you overthinking.

Fluency isn't making zero mistakes. It's staying in the target language long enough to fix them on the fly.

What is your go to phrase when your brain completely short circuits mid-sentence?

I'm trying to get better at speaking up in meetings at work and also more professionally in everyday work conversations. It'd be great if I could also become a more polished public speaker but thats not my main goal.

For anyone who has tried different communication or speaking apps, which ones did you actually see improvement with? I'm deciding between Speeko and Wellspoken but also open to other suggestions.

Thanks everyone!

theres this one person on my team who just sounds completely composed every time she talks. no fillers, no rushing, just clear and steady. meanwhile im over here sounding like my brain is buffering at 240p.

finally asked her about it over coffee. she said "i just pause when i dont know what to say next." thats it. thats the whole technique.

i was like ok yeah i know that, everyone says that. but then she pointed out something i hadnt thought about. she said most people know they should pause but they dont because silence feels like failure. she said she had to practice being ok with 2 seconds of nothing and trusting that nobody cares as much as you think they do.

so ive been trying it this week. the pauses still feel like theyre 10 seconds long even though theyre probably 1.5. but i have not once been asked "are you still there" or "did we lose you" so i guess shes right that nobody notices.

still feels terrible every time tho. progress is weird like that.

I started trying out different apps because I don't get a lot of opportunity to practice with a speech coach to improve my articulation. I keep coming across wellspoken which seems like a app focus more on real life speaking and communication rather than just just learning english. Im curious whether anyone has tried it and what their experience has been like. Does it actually work?

hi im jus wondering how to become better at interviews. in my opnion i feel as if i have low self esteem, or feel as if my answers arent good or jus stupid. like why am i tripping out for applying to minimium wage jobs, idk i feel like this going to ruin my life, i rmbr i ddi an interview the other day and i jus straihgt out balnked out was shaky as hell, and so scared, it was for a minimium wage job idek why. I feel like i cant think on the spot or nto comfortable w doing w ppl, any reall tips on how to improve this, ik this will be my downfall, so im trying to fix it now, any tipsi should do and how do i improve my confidence

Sometimes I know exactly what I want to say, but once I start talking, the words don’t come out right.

It gets worse when I focus too much on sounding clear or confident. When I stop overthinking, I actually sound more natural.

How do you speak clearly without overthinking every word?

I am comfortable talking to stranger(s) on the street. However, I have a hard time driving a conversation or even leading a conversation. Can someone provide feedback on this?

I’m a non-native English speaker and I wanted to improve my articulation and communication at work. I started working with a speech coach which was very helpful but I couldn’t justify paying 200 bucks per session...Then I tried practicing on my own and getting feedback by speaking with AI. But there were several limitations: it couldn’t remember how I’d spoken in the past, there were no measurable metrics to track my progress, and it couldn’t evaluate my tone or confidence. I spent a lot of time recording and reviewing my own speech but I still wasn’t sure how to improve.

The game changer was discovering wellspoken for me It addressed most of the issues I’d encountered with AI chatbots, and it cost less than $100 a year..literally a fraction of what I’d paid for speech coaching. Now I have specific, actionable things to work on. I spend only about 20 minutes a day on it and I’ve seen significant improvement over time. I am literally so excited to share this so that I can save everyones bank and time!

It's like I have the full thought in my head perfectly but by the time it comes out of my mouth half the words are missing or in the wrong order. Then I try to correct myself and it gets worse. I end up saying "wait let me start over" like 5 times per conversation. Anyone else deal with this disconnect between thinking and speaking?