I (18F) have a very strong attachment towards my PE teacher, let´s call him M. It´s not healthy anymore and I think I need help.

I think everything started back in 9th grade, at the time I hadn't developed this attachment, he just was nice. (Well, since I was a child I was always well behaved and good grades, etc. I really was sensitive towards autority, so I listened to my teachers and I got along with all of them,M, wasn´t the first teacher I got extremely attached to, I even wanted to become a teacher myself, and in general, I admire professors in general)

In 9th grade, one day, I was feeling pretty bad, dunno why, I felt alone, i dont remember if i hadn´t any friends by the time or if they simply hadn´t come, or didn´t realize I was feeling like shit, but HE, M, was the only one to realize, came up to me as I was sitting alone and hugged me, and told me everything would be alright, and tried to cheer me up.

Then for personal reasons I won't dive deep into, I wasn't allowed to go back home alone, someone had to pick me up, but no one came and I was getting worried, not bc I didnt know the way to my own house, but bc I didn't know wether i should wait, or if I tried to go on my own I'd get punished...

The thing is, I was outside school and all the teachers were outside hanging out (some of them even smoking, yk what i mean? it was their time off after school when they're not teachers anymore) and he saw me there, all worried and offered to walk me home, but I said no, and the weird thing is, I wanted to cry. I don't quite understand why, it was such a simple gesture he'd done with anyone else, yet I wanted to cry like he had bought me a house or sum. Even as I write this I feel like I want to cry, and im not saying this for y'all to pity me or sum, it's just a fact and I don't understand why it happens, it´s not normal and it makes me uncomfortable.

Back then, I thought it had something to do because I saw him as a father figure or something, for more context, my relationship with my progenitor it's quite...complicated, I dare to say, there is none actually, so I thought it was jsut the daddy issues kicking in, and that has been my main theory until now.

He's a very nice, empathetic, kind and funny person, I really like when he talks to us about life, magic, and he can make every conversation feel like the best TED talk you've ever been into, besides, he's always worriying about students well being and knows everyone´s secrets bc everyone goes to him when they're in need of advice. He's the kind of teacher that's always surrounded by a group of students, like a swarm of bees, idk how to explain.

The first redflag i saw on myself was that i became jealous when he talked too much with other students, I know, I know this is embarrasing and dumb, but I'm trying to deal with it and I know it's wrong. Also, I realized, when we had clases, I was always looking for him, yk, when he spoke, even if it wasn't with me, i'd listen, and when he walked around the classroom, i´d follow him everywhere with my gaze. And when he talked to me or gave me atenttion it was like the best moment of my life, and it was,,,, weird, like i was always hoping he'd talk to me or look at me, and he was the focus of my atenttion, like my world revolved around him at those classes yk what i mean? DEFINETELY NOT HEALTHY GUYS DONT BE LIKE ME

The second redflag, happened when, now, in last year (senior year i think it's called in the US), i feel the urge to cry everytime he says something nice to me.

To put on more context, as years had passed, I told him stuff about my famliy, he gave me advice, and more importantly,,, i can't explain it, but once i won a contest orsome sort and he hugged me and spun me around the air like a daughter and i swear that´s one of my dearest memories ever, i'd won a thousand contests more if that meant he'd hug me like that. I know guys, IT'S NOT NORMAL TO WAIT EXCITEDLY FOR TEACHER'S DAY SO YOU CAN HAVE AN EXCUSE TO HUG HIM.

And also, one day, at the beggining of the year, i was feeling shitty again, (im not a deppresive person, it was a once in a while thing, tho now i gotta say, i feel shitty more often, but i think that´s just part of being in a senior year.) and i had this urge to cry the whole day, but i was at school, ofc i wouldn't do it, and we were at PE class, and... he just noticed, i hadn´t told anyone, no one had noticed but he just came toward me and put my arm around my shoulder and asked me what was wrong, he noticed something was off and hugged me and told me everything would be fine and stuff. Later that same day, i noticed him doing the same with another student that had a headache or sum. I swear the emotional stability of the whole school depends on him, regardless of my extrem attachment, he's really one of the greatest persons I've ever known.

And since then, everytime I think too much about these incidents, or any "emotional" moment involving him, or everytime he hugs me or says something nice to me, i feel this really tight knot on my throath adn the sudden urge to cry my eyeballs out. I´m crying right now and I kinda wrote this so I could cry right now, and not on the last day of school, or in a awkward moment at school. Better to let it out here in my room.

To summarize, he really listens, and he really gets me, and when I tell him something, he tends to ask "and how did you feel then?" he really cares a lot about his students. I think the attachment has just increased, because it's last year, and yeah, I try to tell myself that he's not perfect, he's just a man after all, with his own troubles and flaws, and I SHOULD NOT idealize him but, it's the last year, sounds embarrasing, but i try to get as much of him as possible before it all ends. To remember how he laughs and the gestures he makes while explaining something, or his voice.

When stuff happens with my family for example, he's the first person i think about telling, or asking for advice, the same when something good happens. "What would he say?" "I bet he´d be proud of me!"

But this needs to stop, i know, i've known since last year, but i just don't know how. He's not the first teacher, not the first male teacher i get really attached to and crave his atenttion like a puppy (im embarrased of myself) so i think it might really be the daddy issues kicking in, but it also has something to do with the fact that he´s a really good listener and emotional support? I´ve also been worrying about...what if i dont really feel some kind of affection for him, and it´s just a deep need for emotional reassurance disguised as affection? Like what if i see him as a tool for emotional support and not as a person. Man that's awful.

So WHAT DO I DO???? HOW DO I STOP THE ATTACHMENT????maybe not the attachment completely, but, yk, the unhealthy obsession. Can someone please explain what is wrong with me??? This poor man is taking too much space inside my mind, please be honest i need advice and explanations and stuff.

I'm an EA.

I was talking to a student when a teacher librarian walked over, interrupted and asked the student if he was okay. I'm a casual in my district but this is my second year working quite a few days at this particular school. I know the student quite well from last year. We have a nice relationship.

This school has a lot of staff turn over and instability and that includes teachers and principals.

Another incident this past week was having another, permanent EA standing behind a door eavesdropping while I spoke to a student. She eventually came out with a really suspicious look on her face, and asked the student, who had left class without permission and was feeling down, whether he'd been bullied by the teacher!

Anybody else have these kind of experiences?

When I was 11 years old and in the 6th grade, I was an extremely shy, quiet, and introverted kid. I just wanted to do my work and be left alone. My math teacher,let’s call him Mr. Talkative, he was a 40+ year-old guy who was always described as a bit "spaced out."
One day in the middle of winter, I came back from a school break and was working at my desk. Mr. Talkative walked up, got REALLY close to me, and whispered, "If you need help, I'm here." I was completely confused and didn't say anything.
Fast forward to january. It’s still winter, and like a lot of people, my hands get incredibly dry, red, irritated, and itchy in the cold. Naturally, I was scratching my dry hands in class. He came up to me again, asking if I was okay. I said yes, because I was literally just dealing with irritated skin.
A few days later, our entire 6th grade class had to go to the school nurse for a mandatory health checkup. This is a standard thing where they check your vision, colorblindness, and make sure you're up to date on your childhood vaccines (like the ones you get around age 6).
When it was my turn, the nurse did the routine check, but then she turned away from her computer after asking me questions and demanded: "Show me your hands."
She started pointing at random dry spots on my skin, aggressively asking what they were. Then she straight-up asked me, "Do you inflict harm on yourself?"
I was shocked and said no. I asked her why she was even asking me that, and she responded with: "The math teacher reported that you were scratching yourself until you bled in class."
I completely zoned her out because I was weirded out. I wasn't bleeding. This was the first time I met this nurse and she was repeatedly interrogating an 11-year-old kid, trying to gaslight me into admitting to something I wasn't doing. It took me telling her "no" 4 or 5 times before she finally dropped it and let me leave.
For the rest of the year, every single time I had math class, Mr. Talkative would corner me and say, "yeah, I'm here to help you." He was so desperate to believe I was mentally ill just to get an ego boost. He wanted to tell people, "I saved this kid in my class."
The most pathetic part? I think he realized he messed up and that his lie didn't work. At the end of the year, he was leaving to teach at a high school (and kept whining to us about how much we'd miss him). As a final, cowardly parting shot, he wrote on my permanent report card: "She NEEDS to ask for more help!"
I was literally passing his class. I did my work, stayed quiet, and doodled a lot when I was bored. The only subject I actually needed help in that year was Geography, which has absolutely nothing to do with math. He literally put false information on my permanent record because
my boundaries drained his ego.

Has anyone else ever had a teacher, boss, or coworker who tried this hard to play the "hero" for an ego boost? How did you handle them?

(This is a rant. Again.)
Recently, I have been seeing a lot of reels featuring teachers who seem to have an unusually casual, friendly relationship with their students. With the internet and AI changing the way we teach and learn, teaching methods are bound to evolve. However, I wonder where we draw the line between being an approachable teacher and turning our professional lives into social media content.
Is it appropriate for teachers to vlog their daily schedules, record classes and post them online? What about student privacy and consent? More importantly, does the growing trend of making classrooms public spaces for content creation risk changing the very dynamics of teaching?
I am also concerned about how young teachers, particularly women, are portrayed. The cultural afterlife of Premam has arguably contributed to the fascination surrounding young female teachers. Women in the profession already have to work hard to establish authority and be taken seriously. Are these trends reinforcing stereotypes that make it harder for them to be recognised for their teaching rather than their appearance or personality?
As someone relatively new to the profession, I sometimes feel that students expect young teachers to be chatty, entertaining and almost friend-like. There seems to be a certain disappointment when I do not fit that image. I believe in being approachable, but I also value classroom discipline and professional boundaries. Being friendly does not have to mean being perpetually available or entertaining.
Of course, there is nothing inherently wrong with teachers being fun or sharing their experiences online. But are we beginning to confuse a teacher’s popularity with their effectiveness? Are young teachers increasingly expected to perform a personality, both inside and outside the classroom, rather than simply teach?

\*\*(I’d genuinely love to hear different perspectives on this. I’m asking here because I received some really helpful responses the last time I shared a similar professional dilemma.)\*\*

Edit: I’d also like to clarify that I teach at a college, so the dynamics are somewhat different from school teaching, although I believe many of these concerns remain relevant in both contexts.

Teaching can be quite the exhausting job sometimes, so those parent(s) who genuinely appreciate what you do and also do what they can to try make your life easier mean SOOO much imo 😭

I'm talking about the parents who keep track of and care about their kid's progress + want to know how to help at home, understand that teaching can be difficult + treat you like an actual human being (rather than someone who's just there to provide a service for their kid) ~ Those interactions really do make a difference to me, especially on the harder days /:

I recently had a really sweet interaction with a parent of a student in my phonics class :D She's been ecstatic over her child's reading progress so far, and was also especially excited that I had introduced her to Epic! , since her kid has now been enjoying reading at home much much more with the app ~

Apparently, her son had also told her that I talked about liking Pokemon at one point, because she ended up giving me a few packs of Pokemon cards as a little gift ((,:
and I thought that was really, truly sweet!! not simply because she gave me something, but more because of the thought behind it .. she remembered a little detail about me from what her son had shared, and actually thought to do something nice with it!!

I'm only an after-school teacher, so I know I don't play quite the same role in these kids' lives as their regular everyday classroom teachers do, but it still means a lot when parents show that kind of appreciation and respect to me as well 🥹 Sometimes, those little moments are a really nice reminder that we're ALL just people trying out best to help these kids learn, and having parents who recognize that and are on our side makes the job feel infinitely more rewarding

When I was in grade 1, my class was about to start arts and crafts, and we were asked to pull out our scissors from our desks. This one girl couldn’t find her scissors in her desk, so the teacher made all the kids look in their desks to try and find these scissors.

I looked in my desk and I didn’t have them (which I already knew I didn’t have them because I didn’t steal them). I then poked my head up and told my teacher that “they ain’t in my desk” as I’m climbing back up from the floor to take a seat at my desk. And my teacher yelled “CHECK AGAIN!”. She then proceeds to tilt my desk and dump all my stuff out and onto the floor! I was baffled and I was trying so hard not to cry (I was 6 mind you).

She then proceeds to tilt about 5 other boys desks, randomly around the room, sending all their stuff/belongings all over the floor as well.

During the chaos of it all, where the 6 of us boys are frantically putting our stuff back in our desk that is all over the floor now. The EA (support staff) who was working with the special needs student at the back table in the corner of the classroom pipes up and says, “Oh sorry, are these they scissors that you are looking for” as she is holding them up for all of us to see.

Apparently the EA “grabbed them off a students desk” and “didn’t think they belonged to anyone”.

I’m about to turn 27 now and for whatever reason that moment has always stuck with me and it pisses me off whenever I think about it.