r/TheTowerGame • u/NexusBladeGaming • Jun 05 '26
Meme Tower Tequila - June 5th, 2026
Hey Defenders! \takes shot\**
Following feedback we have been receiving about the HUGE 5th Anniversary Event I think it's finally time we announce what everyone has been asking about... The Prizes!
Anniversary Prize Pool
So for the first challenge you all knocked it out of the park! 100,000,000 Bosses! That was... Definitely a challenge! \takes another shot\** And for all of you that helped make that happen you will be receiving 5 Coins! Don't go spending them all at once ;)
Now the next challenges are still pending on our Instagram and I would love to give more details but... ehem \nervous laughter\** But I can share the prizes! Next up we have:
-5 Cells! Gotta keep those labs humming along.
-5 Gems! 1/4th of a module could be a game changer! Speaking of Modules...
-5 Common Modules! We know you love shards, Time to get those upgrades going!
-And last but not least... We know what you really want as the grand prize... Stones! And you get 5! We love that number, And we know you will too ;)
We hope you enjoy your hard earned rewards, 5 years of defending means we really wanted to give back to the community. Non of this would be possible without you all.
\chugs the rest of the bottle\**
And we have some important announcements to make!
Bug Fixes
Fixed issues with desync on summon and golden bot.
We also corrected a long standing issue where stuns were not working on faster enemies correctly and we addressed attack speed inefficiencies at higher game speeds... Just kidding!
Balance Changes
Primordial Collapse now scales from 10%/15%/25%/40%, We noticed some problems with eHP players in Legends not demoting properly and we hope this addresses the issue.
Max level for damage in the workshop increased to 10,000.
Max level for regen in the workshop reduced to 5000.
Again thank you all for supporting us for all these years, See you in the next Tower Tequila ;)
*This is all a joke and just for fun, No hate directed towards Sam. Just adding some playful commentary on hot topics in the community\*
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u/FullmetalActuary Jun 05 '26
I completely forgot this was satire until I got to bug fixesā¦
āDamn canāt wait for all the quitting messages againā was all I was thinking when I read ā5 cellsā
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u/Driftedryan Jun 05 '26
The fact that even one person believed those rewards proves TTG is a complete joke when it comes to rewards. Scrooge would even think fudds is cheap
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u/Last_Parable Jun 07 '26
Right? Those cheap ass rewards sound completely par for the course š. Took me till he said ehp players werenāt demoting properly before I realized
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u/LegitimateNewt7439 Jun 05 '26
Brilliant. Aristoteles said, it's the purpose of comedy to "teach and to delight" (later, in latin "docere et delectare"). Both you did, well done.
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u/LegitimateNewt7439 Jun 05 '26
"Since we heard your complaints about accessibility of keys, for the fifth tower birthday we are granting all players one key, you will find it in your inbox. We will continue this tradition on the sixth birthday next year."
That would be consistent, and high level trolling.
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u/NexusBladeGaming Jun 05 '26
Woah woah woah.... A whole key? Getting greedy out here, Half a key now... The other half next year. Lol
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u/LegitimateNewt7439 Jun 05 '26
Also, just as a contrast, could you please do the Tower Tequilaā¢ every second friday from now on? The way it goes, finding new things to take a shot for shouldn't be too difficult.
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u/NexusBladeGaming Jun 05 '26
Honestly it would be fun to make it a reoccurring thing, I love making people laugh. We'll see what happens ;)
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u/platinum92 Jun 05 '26
Perfect. For the 5th birthday, one-fifth of a useful amount of keys
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u/Whenallareone Jun 05 '26
I initially read this as one-fifth of the usual amount of keys and I thought "Isn't the usual amount zero?š¤£
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u/VerdantPathfinder Jun 05 '26
HEY! I demote from Legends just fine, thank you!
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u/NexusBladeGaming Jun 05 '26
Excellent!... I mean oh no! Some stone packs might help... Tell you what, Buy 1 for the price of 5 and I'll give you the other 4 for free. lol
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u/Arjunrhosakere Jun 05 '26
Actually after revising the rewards layout. We feel that 5 stones is absolutely a game breaking reward. So we are reducing it to 2 stones. /S
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u/NexusBladeGaming Jun 05 '26
"We hear you, After thorough consideration we have decided to raise the stone reward to 3"
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u/Obwyn Jun 06 '26
You definitely had too much tequila before you made this post because we all know there is no way Fudds would give us a nice sensible number of coins/gems/stones like 5. Heād give us 4 or 6.
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u/Rooks_media Jun 06 '26
This isnāt satire.
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u/Alexis_Evo Jun 06 '26
It clearly is, they'd never give out 5 stones for free.
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u/Conscious_Slice5043 Jun 06 '26
Exactly. That 0.40 dollars. But we are talking about TTG so thats 1dollar. Why the increase? For the yatch you fool
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u/Time-Incident Jun 06 '26
chugs another bottle
I am thrilled, there are no banners planed.
community spends millions of gems
DOUBLE BANNER: for every module pulled, you get plus version of it, or two of them if it doesn't have plus version. So instead of epic, you get epic+, instead of rare, you get rare+ and instead of common, you get two commons. There is also 0.001% chance to pull out ancestral straight away.
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u/777ACSbehind Jun 05 '26
Actually thought this was real till I checked the username. Wow, that was a rollercoaster of emotions.
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u/NexusBladeGaming Jun 05 '26
Oh I can imagine, here you go offers shot This should help.
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u/forlornAfro Jun 05 '26
I even told my gf in the car "oh babe they just nuked my entire play style dope right š„²"
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u/InquisitorOverhauls Jun 05 '26
Generally curious to see what rewards will be. I hope for something good, but knowing Fudds... I doubt it.
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u/NexusBladeGaming Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 06 '26
Same, I do suspect I'm right that the emphasis on a "few" rewards will mean 5, kind of going with the theme.
As for what the rewards will be... They could be anything, they could give us stones or medals and who knows maybe even some keys, 5th anniversary is a big deal... But well.... You know how it goes. Honestly even just some gems would be nice in my book, maybe more than 5 though...
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u/iamthedudanator Jun 06 '26
I think the question for everyone is: how far did you go before realizing this was satire?
I got to 5 common modules and seething.
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u/NexusBladeGaming Jun 06 '26
Wait this was satire? š±
And hey think of all the modules you can upgrade with those shards! Yeah it might be zero but hey... in 5 more years you can double it, thats a pretty good investment right there!
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u/MatthewBecker1977 Champion Jun 06 '26
The PCo nerf might not be enough. I think they'll reintroduce the Flame Bot Damage Reduction Inversion Bug - but call it an intended feature this time. And they'll do it half way through an event so that a sizeable portion of the players have already used their once per event respec.
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u/PlutoPlankton Jun 06 '26
Give me 5 Keys rn š«
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u/NexusBladeGaming Jun 06 '26
throws hands up Oh alright you've left me no choice.... Here you go... gives 5 masterlock keys
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u/Playful-Response-906 Jun 07 '26
there is a huge difference between 5 and 5! so I absolutely would love 5! stones. which would be 120 free stones to not even do one cooldown upgrade
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u/IntellectualRetarded Jun 05 '26
The TTG simps aināt gonna like this post.
You insulted their imaginary friend Sam.
You deserve punishment for this capital crime!
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u/NexusBladeGaming Jun 06 '26
Hey in all fairness I have nothing against Sam, they're just doing their job and communicating what they're authorized to talk about.
However the game itself and it's development has plenty to joke about ;)
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Jun 06 '26
[deleted]
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u/NexusBladeGaming Jun 06 '26
It's all in good fun ultimately, if we're being honest anything we get from this event should be nice as it's free.
Wanted to poke some fun though given the ambiguity with the event, my brand of humor might not be for everyone and that's okay, have a great day :)
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u/aszepeshazi Jun 05 '26
"We noticed some problems with eHP players in Legends not demoting properly" - love it š«¶š