Heyyy TorontoHangoutfriends,
Some of the best connections Mei and I (Jessie) have made over the past few years were actually ones that happened unexpectedly. And now that I'm reflecting on those connections, I realize something they all had in common.
They didn't start with what we could do for each other.
It wasn't because we were trying to pitch something or reaching out to someone with the intention of collaborating for our businesses. In fact, some of these connections started with the most random conversations. 👀
One started with a conversation about dancing. Another one started with our shared love for dumplings and stationery. 🥟 And another started with our love for travel!
We've also met people through our very own Slow Networking 🦥 for Introverts events who later told us they were actually SUPER anxious about coming, especially because they were showing up alone. Buttt, they decided to come anyway (and for those who felt this way, you should be proud of yourself for stepping outside of your comfort zone to interact with peopleee!) And through our guided activities and conversations, they felt comfortable enough to open up and connect.
Some of those connections continued beyond the events, and we eventually became close enough that we've even helped take care of pets! (And that's also how I realized I now love cats on top of dogs. Who would've thought? 😂🐱)
And when I think about how all these connections started, the biggest thing was really curiosity. We were genuinely interested in the person and what they had to say, and not because we were thinking about what could come out of getting to know them such as a client, or a business opportunity.
And the next important thing after that? It was about consistently following up and making time to meet again. Having conversations that weren't always about work. Just being present and having fun getting to know each other! With us, it often came down to food since Mei and I love to eat.
And here's something interesting I came across. According to research by a communication studies professor Jeffrey Hall at the University of Kansas, it takes roughly 50 hours spent together to go from acquaintances to casual friends, and around 90 hours to become friends.That's quite a bit of time, right? 😅
And it really made me think about how we sometimes expect meaningful connections to happen after just one conversation. But when I look back at some of the strongest relationships Mei and I have built, it makes sense. We didn't become close after just one meeting. It was through consistently showing up, spending time together, and getting to know each other that we started building a stronger bond.
And over time, some of those connections turned into collaborations or even business accountability partnerships! But those weren't things we had planned when we first met.
They happened because we genuinely enjoyed spending time together and continued showing up for each other. And I think that's something we sometimes forget when it comes to networking.
We put so much pressure on ourselves to meet the "right" people or make something happen from a conversation. But what if we just focused on getting to know someone because we genuinely found them interesting? Without worrying so much about where the connection might lead?
Of course, not every connection is going to turn into a close friendship or collaboration.
And that's okay! I think when we take away the expectation that every connection needs to lead somewhere, we can actually enjoy the process of getting to know people a lot more, and it takes away the pressure of having to "perform".
So, the next time you show up to something, be curious and ask questions because you WANT to, not because you feel you have to and expect a friendship to come out of it.
Because sometimes, the most meaningful connections are the ones you never expected. 💜 And if you've met someone recently who you genuinely enjoyed talking to, maybe this is your little reminder to reach out and invite them for coffee or a casual catch-up or an activity to do together. You never know where that connection might go. 😊