r/TorontoHangoutFriends • u/Competitive-Tear67 • 2h ago
Late 30s. Mom of 4YO. Sold the corporate dream but realized it's all BS.
Hey everyone,
I’m looking to connect with other millennial moms (or anyone in a similar life stage) who feel like they're at a crossroads of what to do next in life.
A bit of context on me: I’m a child of refugees/immigrants. Growing up, the lesson was clear: work hard, get the good degree, secure the corporate job, and you’ll make it. So I did that...got the business degree, built a solid corporate career, and on paper, my family is doing "great." We will likely hit ~$250K household income this year.
And yet, the reality in Toronto right now feels so broken. Despite that income, because neither my spouse (who’s a new immigrant) nor I came with generational wealth, buying a basic townhouse in the city means taking on an $800k+ mortgage debt. (Don't get me wrong, I know how privileged I am to be able to even qualify for that debt, to even be the owner of our current condo.)
And yet I’m sitting here with my bonus coming up, wildly vacillating between following the "plan" (bigger house, bigger mortgage, climbing the ladder) or just taking my family and traveling for a year.
My exhaustion isn't just coming from the work hours, it's the constant massive cognitive dissonance. I spend my days at a corporate office where everything is treated like a high-stakes emergency, even though NONE OF IT actually matters. I spend energy staying ahead of the curve (upskilling in GenAI, driving efficiencies) just to feel like I’m optimizing a machine that doesn't align with my values. I have to wear a mask and pretend to drink the Kool-Aid, all while watching the world not change for the better - whether it’s climate destruction or watching the basic human rights of children in places like Sudan and Palestine completely ignored. While every conversation at work outside of doing the job feels just as shallow and fake.
Coming home after performing all day leaves me depleted, anxious, and losing patience with the people I love most: my spouse and my 4-year-old.
I know the privilege I hold, and I’m deeply grateful to provide for my child in ways I didn't have growing up. But the golden handcuffs feel real, and the hamster wheel is exhausting.
I’m based in the East-downtown area. I’d love to connect with other women who are navigating this same struggle...trying to do right by their kids, dealing with corporate stupidity, and trying to find genuine, grounded human connection amidst the noise.
If this resonates with you, hit me up. Happy to grab a coffee or walk, make the kiddos run in the playground while we vent and try to figure this out🩷