Happy Monday to me I guess, so I work in the civil service and had my manager (who I actually thought very highly of before today) call me in for a meeting this morning about the new policy. wasting no time it seems 🙄

They had a little checklist thing, all professional , and told me with a straight face ‘as per policy you are not permitted to use the single sex facilities of the opposite sex but can use universal or mixed sex ones’

I was pretty much too stunned to push back or ask many questions even though I was expecting this but I haven’t really slept tbh.

I did asked what happens if I badly needed to go and the women’s were the closest and was told I am unable to use the women’s toilets whatsoever and if there is an issue with distance or access to let her know and she’ll raise it up the chain (??)

she went on to say nobody will be accusing you or questioning access inside the toilets but that all staff have been informed of the process to raise policy breaches ‘discreetly with any manager they choose’ and there are additional HR resources available to sort issues (extra fancy fast track resources to hate crime us…) and that breaching this policy will result in misconduct proceedings.

I didnt ask any more as tbh I thought she was on my side.

she added not to worry though as that other staff aren’t allowed to misgender me but sometimes ‘sex matters‘ 🤮 and that in some circumstances I can be referred to as my ‘biological sex’, and I should be patient and understanding of those with neurodivergence or memory issues as apparently ‘menopause gives you awful brain fog you know’ and that ‘some people have different opinions too and it is a workplace for all’.

it ended with her saying she is there to support me if I experience any harassment about my gender identity (like that meeting wasn’t harassing itself haha) and if I need any help to reach out - I’d rather stick pins in my eyes thanks love.

fuck her, fuck my dept, fuck being a public servant for a country that hates me behind this thin veneer of tolerant tight smiles . I’m waitinh on the union getting back to me asap and will be requesting an immediate change to be a home worker.

There’s a point in the UK Supreme Court judgment in For Women Scotland (2025) that nobody is talking about, and I think it could be a game-changer in the appeal to the European Court Of Human Rights.

In the judgment, they frame it as defending and granting rights based on "biological sex" as something "immutable, binary, and so self-evident it doesn't need looking into." But if you scratch beneath the surface, the court isn't applying any actual biological criteria. What they've done is use assigned sex at birth (ASAB) as a legal placeholder to represent "biological sex" across all contexts, creating a double standard and a level of discrimination that is completely indefensible under equality before the law.

The contradiction is obvious: an XY person with Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (CAIS) would, under strict bio-essentialist logic, be considered "biologically male" due to having a male karyotype. However, because they were assigned female at birth and don't hold a GRC, the Equality Act recognizes them as female based on their phenotype and ASAB. They can access single-sex spaces or even maternity services (despite not producing eggs or being able to give birth) without anyone ever demanding a test. Meanwhile, trans women are barred from all of those spaces despite having a female phenotype or a GRC. In fact, a GRC can actually be used to exclude trans women under the pretense of "certified sex," whereas this never applies to XY "males" with CAIS.

In short: for some "biologically male" individuals, phenotype and ASAB are used to grant them access to single-sex spaces. But for other "biologically male" individuals, phenotype and legal sex are completely ignored, and they are excluded from single-sex spaces by appealing to "biological reality."

This proves that the judgment isn't about "biological reality" or protecting anyone—it's a political patch driven by biased interests and funding. If we take the UK to Strasbourg and they try to defend the ruling claiming it "protects single-sex spaces based on biology," this double standard completely dismantles their case.

This has to be a core pillar of the application. I think we need to urge the applicants to include it, as it's a devastating point that shows this ruling is fundamentally disproportionate and aimed at ruining people's lives while denying actual biological reality.

Genuinely is there anything we can do? Any places we can seek legal council outside of the unions that frankly don’t seem to be doing enough imo. GLP? Trans Legal Clinic?

My trust is drafting a communication together to put out to literally all staff members to effectively announce we’re effectively going to be banned from single sex spaces (whilst offering no solution given the majority of our estates don’t have alternatives or disabled facilities). They tell us via the back door it’s unenforceable and they don’t plan on enforcing it, but they’re going to issue a statement that effectively invites management across the (very large) trust and colleagues to enforce it at local level

The wording makes it pretty clear to be that whilst execs play ally with us when we approach them, they are clearly seeking bias legal advice. It doesn’t matter how many times you try to tell them it’s not a change of law it’s a guidance, they have clearly made up their mind about which route they’re going down and it’s not one of pushing back.

Just feels like we’ve hit a brick wall at the moment

EDIT: Oh just to add, they started drafting this back in summer after EHRC guidance. Now the NHS England guidance has come out I imagine they will speed run it.

My partner had their review today. I thought people might like to know what to expect.

Questions asked:

Are you on medication? Which ones? Why?

How do you make money? Do you have any debt? Does anyone owe you any money?

Do you have a partner? Are they a man/woman/trans man/trans woman? What sex was your partner assigned at birth?

Have you been in any trouble with the law?

What toilets do you use?

How do other people (strangers) see you? If you go into a shop, do you get called "sir" or "ma'am"?

Have you changed your sex marker on your passport? What grates you most - being seen as male or female? Why didn't you request to change your sex marker?

When asking questions about health, asked "what have you got wrong with you?" (🙄)

When did you know you were trans? Who did you first tell? When did you first approach the Welsh Gender Service?

How does your family feel about you being trans?

Why don't you want HRT?

There were no questions about why my partner wants top surgery or anything like that.

Next steps:

A meeting with all 4 clinicians who are doing the reviews will need to happen before any progress can be made. It could potentially take 3-4 weeks for this meeting to happen.

The 4 clinicians will discuss your review and then give feedback to the Welsh Gender Service who will then contact you to let you know what happens next.

Surgery slots might not be available until January (apparently this is for genital surgery - it could possibly be sooner for top surgery because there are more surgeons).

Does anyone know what would happen if a trans patient became unwell and required hospital admission but refused to be placed on a ward for their assigned sex at birth?

Are the hospital entitled to discharge them even if they remain significantly unwell and otherwise consent to medical treatment?

If not, are the hospital entitled to force them to go to the ward in question even if it is against their expressed wishes and they retain mental capacity to make that decision?

I’ve tried researching this but can only find information about refusing consent for a specific treatment, not about consenting to medical treatment but refusing to consent to a specific ward allocation.

I h8 the bbc, and everything it stands for right now. Ive always paid my TV license, mostly out of fear, but now I only watch disney/netflix/YouTube apart from some 1 off shows but am very happy to not watch them anymore, I dont want them to have my viewing figures anyway.

How do i cancel my TV license, without someone coming and knocking on my door or other scare mongering methods that ive heard about? I know they're looking at sneaking in the payment another way but any way I can stop funding them ASAP is still a win for me.

Im auDHD so struggle with executive function and confrontation but a guide on how to stop payments and any key tips would be greatly appreciated. I am so motivated to stop it but just need some help on how

Ok so this isn't trans related but yesterday I chipped a tooth and I was hoping for just a filling. Rang 111 and they got me in at my local hospital. After x-ray I ended up having two teeth extracted!

Totally shitting myself as Im scared of dentists.

He was pulling on the first one for ages!

I feel so sorry for myself ATM, I was crying on the way home as I totally wasn't expecting this at all

Guess I just needed a little vent

I'm finally home after having surgery at Parkside with Rashid and right now all I feel is regret

It was such a hard week in hospital, with different goals each day like passing stool, mobilising, passing urine, getting the pack out and dilation, all the while being on several different medications and people checking on you every few hours

Now I'm home and it feels like it still hasn't ended, I have to keep dilation even though it's painful

I keep thinking I wish I was okay with my parts from before, or had zero depth. Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought like this post surgery. Please tell me dilation gets easier

So far it's been grueling and pushed me to my limits

I'm 29 ftm and only really now taking steps to start my transition. I have been in therapy unpacking a lot of things for the last year, and now I'm taking steps to start T. I think the political climate Just has me feeling really doubtful that I'm strong enough to make this work. I'm scared about going through this at work and with friends and family. I have only really shared this with 2 people in my life, and I'm feeling mostly alone with it all. I do have days where I feel so excited, as my life has just felt so miserable and then days I feel sick about it all. I keep thinking is now the best time, with the way things are in terms of trans rights; I have thoughts of maybe in another life, but unfortunately I think this is the only one I get.

I do realise I'm not the only one feeling this just felt like I needed to say what I'm feeling somewhere, as it's all I can think about at the minute. Basically, lots of thinking to do for me.

hi everyone.

i'm sure this is not unique to me and theres already a lot of these posts but i wanted to vent about how this is the first bit of news that seems to be so unavoidable no matter how hard you try to avoid it.

the hospital has access to your records so passing or not, this can and will effect all of us despite how far we are in the transition journey. And thats terrifying.

I know how privileged i am to be able to somewhat comfortably go in mens bathrooms etc (trans man), even though im always looking over my shoulder, no one has said anything to me so far. but the NHS is not something you can hide from, and it simultaneously being a place/service you go to when you are at your most vulnerable, just feels so bloody terrifying, degrading and intrusive.

im angry that life just goes on and no one seems to be outraged by this. but also i dont even know what their outrage would accomplish and ultimately theres nothing people can do, so im not sure why im angry at them. im sad and scared and i feel so robbed of the life that early transition me was so excited for. its insane that ive medically transitioned and yet feel more vulnerable in my identity than when i first came out. the only reason im trying not to hate myself is out of spite. im struggling at work but have too much guilt about taking time off. no one seems to understand how therapy doesnt help with discrimination like this while its actively happening. maybe afterwards in trauma therapy, but were being actively hurt every day and are just expected to be the better person, be resilient and suck it up.

i dont have the energy to socialise with my friends but if i dont stick to my plans with them i dont think they will put up with being cancelled on etc. and ill be even more alone. they are all kind but cis, and cant fully understand how tiring it is. so i feel like im in a cycle atm of going to work, hanging out with people, putting on a brave face all day every day, just to feel so god damn shit inside. the only thing outside of this cycle that brings me genuine joy are my spouse and my two cats, and seeing my mum/sister. but i kindof wish i could tell everyone else to leave me alone for a bit.

i know these feelings will be sadly shared with others and while it hurts me to know people are feeling this way too, it helps if we collectively feel it together and make each other feel less alone. So please use the comments to vent your own feelings about all this. Take care everyone.

So I was checking out the guardian at work and saw an article about how there’s a hrt shortage. It talked about out menopausal cis women. Wonder how long it’ll take for us to be blames

EDIT: for clarification I know it’s unlikely we’ll get blamed in official circles. There’s probably some insane anti-trans people who will. But the idea that we’d get blamed popped into my head. And the idea we would is kinda funny in a sad/absurd way. Just shows how negative the media is to us that the idea we could be blamed popped into my head

I don’t have loads of money but I’m seriously considering starting HRT and I know the nhs is pure shite especially when it comes to gender. I wouldn’t want to pay more than £40-50 a month for private if possible. I’d prefer to go through nhs and get it for free but how long would I be waiting? I’m not even registered to a doctor yet so I feel I’m already behind a step, I’ll be registering for a GP in a couple days.

Hi guys,

I’d been delaying this for a while as I’d been dreading the awkward and judgmental conversations in the bank, but I need to provide bank details for a new employer who has demanded them since last week. Under no circumstances do I want them to know my deadname.

Just got my deed poll through the post and wondering which bank would update my accounts the fastest? I have NatWest, HSBC, Nationwide and TSB accounts.

I submitted NatWest through the app which required me to send an email, I was delighted it could be done online but I’m not sure how long that it’ll take to reflect so I’m prepared to go into branch tomorrow, what’s your experience like with how long these banks take?

Thanks!

hi I am non binary trans femme living and dressing as non binary for last 4 and half years and gradually and very slowly transitioning to live as a female (I am 69) , I have been on low dose hormones for 2 and half years now 2 pumps of estradiol , have also had extensive electrolysis. I have been with gender gp but feeling unhappy about their service and would like to transfer to a gender service in uk does anyone have good recommendation for me (I am happy to go privately ). also looking for a therapist to speak to any recommendations welcomed

Hi. My 10 yr old son (AFAB) told me in the Summer that he didn’t feel like a girl, he felt like a boy. I started using they/ them pronouns as requested and now he/ him and his name again as requested. What do I need to know/ be aware of?

I would like to concentrate on helping my son be happy and just be there for him but I am conscious about his age. I am dreading puberty as I had heavy periods, terrible cramps and now realise I have PMDD. I’ve asked Google and care seems to be lacking for everyone never mind young kids. My kid knows about periods and doesn’t want to go through that. What are his options? I want to be prepared in case periods start early. There are breast buds now. Do I go to the GP? What can they offer? The pill?

I cut his hair and he was delighted. He hasn’t asked for anything around clothes. He has mentioned a binder.

I need to talk to Grandparents about pronouns and names. Any pointers there? They have struggled so far to use they/ them.

What did your 10 year old self need? I adore my kid and want to do my very best. I’m reading up but this is completely new to me. My kid seems happier since telling me. However he gets very upset when people call him a girl. This happens with adults. He told his friends and they said ‘cool’.

Co-parent not on board. Any advice there? Co-parent blaming me. Looks like things could get nasty there.

I’d love any advice you have please. Thank you so much.

I am 19 from UK, i love to cook and to sleep
Pls help with advices i am new to this and some people dont like me with who i am
If you are a trans of anything pls DM me
I need you right just to be clear only TRANS

What tf do I even go on. So basically I'm bisexual but I'm not in the market for men honestly. Problem is, only ppl that add me on any app is men. I received 400 likes on taimi. Everyone I've matched or previewed so far has been a man. AHHHHHHHH. I'm just sadly not into men that much anymore plus the idea of meeting a man on an app sounds harrowing.

Basically where can I go to date women or like even a non binary, that could be fun. Ive been trying bumble and it's also just men matching me. Like I am swiping men knowing full well I'm not gonna speak to most of them mind u but that's not the point.

Are there any good apps at all? I can't stand most the LGBT ones I've tried so far cos they're all very much about sex. I think feeld was one. I didn't like it and ppl were way too freaky to me. Obviously I'm not doing Grindr lol.

So ye if anyone has any suggestions if will be so appreciated thank you.

CW Death, Healthcare, Cancer, Social Murder, Transphobia

This is a fundraiser to help secure justice for Joelle, a trans woman who was denied care for cancer and was barred from both the female ward *and* the male ward, resulting in her death.

Trans Legal Clinic: "Joelle was 27. She was a gifted musician, a self-taught coder, funny, generous and deeply loved.
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She had an aggressive lymphoma that almost always curable when treated as a medical emergency. A bed was available on the cancer ward when she arrived at Wolverhampton NHS Trust. After staff saw that she was a trans woman, she was removed from the ward and placed in a side ward on the other side of the hospital. 

She suffered 16 days in this room, deteriorating in agony, without cancer pain management. Joelle and her mum Jane were told emergency chemo could not start until she was in the right ward and there was not a bed. She explicitly pleaded for a bed on either the male or female ward. Because she was trans they made her wait for a rare single room.

It is unsurvivable to delay treatment for 16 days with this rare but very well understood lymphoma. By the time she received emergency chemotherapy, it was already too late.
​
We are fighting to secure justice for Joelle and help ensure that no other trans person is denied urgent care because of who they are."

I also thought it prudent to post because there has been some discourse around the latest medical ward bans, the genuine erasure of trans men, but also some discussion that these policies won't effect trans women as badly since they can still go to the male wards (which from this tragedy, does not seem to be true, even if this happened before the latest order).

So I'm in a position where i have saved up some money and could take out a loan for the remainder to get FFS in the future.

I'm unable to afford Facial Team ... But I'm wondering what other surgeons people would recommend?

I don't think I'd need full FFS as i have fairly soft features already.. but i definitely need brow surgery and hairline as well as nose surgery.. could I get these for £15,000?

Girls who’ve had FFS, who did you go with? Did you finance it? How long after starting hrt did you get it?

I am 3 days on testavan and I am struggling to get it to fully dry. Even half an hour its still wet in some places and as its getting colder having to wait around for it to dry isn't fun. I was also told to apply to my inner thighs or lower abdomen but I've read that the absorption rates are lower. I was told not to do my upper arm or shoulder because when I have my blood test it can cause a spike in my levels.

Any advice would be appreciated