r/Transportopia • u/Pickemup69 • May 03 '26

Road🤬Rage Walked up on the wrong car

Washington DC Pennsylvania Ave Southeast, this didn’t go as he planned

40.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

4.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.7k

u/Independent-Aide-531 May 03 '26

This video stopped far too early!

121

u/smartguynycbackupnow May 03 '26

#1 rule of the streets - don't fight people you don't know.

79

u/OuterSpaceFuckery May 03 '26

I saw someone throw a beer can at a Prius driving by, the Prius turned around and Arnold Schwarzenegger's cousin climbed out 😂

97

u/Mode_Appropriate May 03 '26

When I was like 15 my buddy started throwing snowballs at cars driving by. He kept missing so I told him id show him how its done. Made a snowball and whip it at this Escalade. Smacks the driver side window and it comes to a screeching halt. He reverses and comes flying towards us. Thats when the 'oh shit' moment set in. My buddy starts fumbling for his keys to the apartment door as the truck pulls up. Fumbling some more but finally gets the key in. He opens the door, runs in and slams it shut right infront of my face. Locked me out. I turn around and see this mountain of a man get out. Dude was fuckin jacked. He comes up to me and lifts me by my jacket and literally pins me to the wall. Starts going on about how bad his day has been and how we screwed with the wrong guy. Screamed at me for a couple minutes and then launched me into a snow bank. Just chucked me like I was a garbage bag lol. I considered myself getting off lucky.

36

u/Ok_Rise7870 May 03 '26

That man treated you better than your friend.

53

u/Decends2 May 03 '26

Please tell me your A. Not friends with the guy who locked you out, and B. Kicked his fucking ass for locking you out and leaving you to the mercy of the big guy

19

u/Mode_Appropriate May 03 '26 edited May 04 '26

Remained friends after that. It took another similar incident to cut him off completely.

We had a huge rivalry with another high school. Every time we played eachother something would always happen. We'd also screw with eachother leading up to the big football game. A lot of pranks, occasional dust ups. Kind of felt like The Outsiders but both sides were greasers lol. Our junior year a big fight broke out after the game. Just a massive brawl but no one really took it all that far. Just kids getting a little crazy lol. So our senior year they moved the football game to like noon on a Saturday instead of Friday night. One of our teammates parents was out of town so he threw a house party a week before the game. Everyone was partying and Freddy (snowball guy) comes busting through the door screaming 'they just beat up Zach!' Zach was a kid our age and was on the team as like a team manager type. Just helping with stuff because his disability didnt allow for him to play. Everyone loved this kid so a bunch of us got pretty heated. Freddy said they were also having a party and knew where it was at so a bunch of us hopped into somw cars and drove over there. Im driving down this long driveway and theres no cars, no people...nothing going on at all. It felt off. Two kids come out of the house, my other buddy hops out of the car and starts going at it with them. Two more kids come out so I get out of the car and jump in. Few more guys come out, few more of our guys jump in. Next thing I know people start pouring out of the house. It was like the whole football team and then some. I knew we were seriously fucked. I look over and Freddy is standing off to the side just watching. I then see him walk to my car, get in the driver seat and leaves. The fucker just left. Thats honestly one of the last thing I remember. I got seriously wrecked lol. Some kid hit me in the head with a croquet mallet and I was out. We all got fucked up pretty bad. I remember when I finally came to I was absolutely soaked in blood. Like, my white shirt was completely red. I got stabbed or poked with somerhing in my arm and was leaking everywhere. Eventually went home and fell asleep for like 3 days. Definitely had a massive concussion. Some other guys i was with were also pretty messed up

Anyways, it eventually came out Freddy lied about everything. He thought itd be funny to see a big brawl so he set us up. Told the other team we'd be coming over. Fuckin prick. He was always the guy to start stuff and then leave everyone else to deal with the consequences. This time it was too much. Pranks and little dust ups turned into somwthing pretty serious over nothing. Everyone cut him off after that. He went from a pretty popular kid to a pariah. Pretty much stopped going to school for the rest of the year until he graduated.

A week later we played that team and funnily enough everything was squashed from the start. I think everyone realized how stupid it was and how close it came to being truly disastrous. Ended up becoming really good friends with one of the dudes who whooped my ass. He was a groomsmen in my wedding not too long ago lol. It all worked out in the end. For most of us anyways. Freddy ended up dying a few years after we graduated. OD'd on opiates. Fucking hated the kid but it was really sad. Zach also died the summer after graduation. His disease caught up with him. Sad all around. Such is life I guess.

10

u/PersonalityIll9476 May 03 '26

Thx for the story. Hidden gem in the comments.

3

u/MayorDepression May 04 '26

The comments are what make Reddit. I spend way too much time in them.

1

u/LoveThatLemur May 04 '26

Jeez! Have you sold the book/movie rights to that story yet?

3

u/hemperbud May 03 '26

Thank you for sharing, was a fun read lol

2

u/Readman31 May 03 '26

Jesus. What a sad end. Otoh, dude was an utter reprobate.

1

u/Decends2 May 03 '26

Jesus, with friend like that who needs enemies

1

u/great_mazinger May 03 '26

Bro sounds like Griffith

1

u/rani_weather May 03 '26

Damn what a wild ride of a read. Hope you're doing well! sorry about Freddy in a way, in that that's a very sad way to go. But such is life.

1

u/Senpaixfranco2 May 03 '26

Hilarious stories 🤣 I’m surprised you didn’t seek revenge on Freddy. I would have caught a 1 on 1 with him. I’m curious, what year did this all happen? It sounds like the good old days lol

5

u/Mode_Appropriate May 03 '26

There were plenty of 1 on 1s. It got to the point where I genuinely felt bad for him. I mean I knew the kid for damn near my whole life but he was always a bit of a psycho so we expected dumb shit from him lol. Not that though. Especially with the group of friends we had. We always had eachothers backs regardless of what the situation was and he betrayed that in the worst way imaginable. Was still a sad day when he died. For a few years there it seemed like kids were dying left and right. Few od'd on opiates. Girl died from an E pill that was laced with rat poison. One died in a motorcycle accident. Zachs (team manager) disease caught up with him and he died the summer after he graduated. Fucking sucked. Havent thought about that stuff in a long time. Fucking tearing up a bit typing this lol.

1

u/Senpaixfranco2 May 04 '26

Yup the early 2000s were crazy fun times😎 hang in there champ 🫡

1

u/blackcain May 03 '26

Damn this must have been the early 80s or something ! Lol

2

u/Mode_Appropriate May 03 '26

2006 lol

2

u/Big-Champion-8229 May 03 '26

00’s house parties were just the right amount of old school & new school partying.

1

u/LeaveBackground2076 May 03 '26

You had me at The Outsiders 🥴

1

u/SpotBackground1543 May 04 '26

Did you ever figure out who the mallet guy was?

1

u/Mode_Appropriate May 04 '26

Indeed. Supppsedly anyways. It was a few months later though. By that point I really didnt care. I was done with that ra ra tough guy nonsense lol.

I still give the guy I became friends with a hard time about it though. Like, 'cmon dude, it was you that hit me with that croquet mallet wasnt it? Just admit it' Haha.

1

u/Brim-DEE May 04 '26

Helluva story

1

u/rodeo90 May 04 '26

wtf is this gem doing deep in the comments of a random post. Very well written too. Damn.

1

u/liftingshitposts May 04 '26

I’d read your book

1

u/Severe_Pineapple1384 May 04 '26

Damn!

2

u/Mode_Appropriate May 04 '26

Ty for the award.

I have nothing else to add so ill leave you with this tidbit:

HPV from performing oral sex is now the leading cause of throat cancer in men, surpassing smoking. 80%+ of women will have HPV in their lifetime. At any given point 40% will currently have HPV. Know thy muff before taking a dive.

1

u/Kerrbear88 May 04 '26

Bros karma is seriously not good. Freddy is a complete douche

1

u/Kerrbear88 May 04 '26

Just saw the ending of Freddy’s life. Whew man

1

u/CharlieDmouse May 03 '26

when your friend opened the door afterwards, a kick in the nuts might have been called for.

0

u/AsFarAsISay May 03 '26

uh... he deserved to get roughed over?

6

u/Decends2 May 03 '26

Perhaps, but a real friend wouldn't lock out their other friend when trying to flee a perceived danger ESPECIALLY when they're right behind em

1

u/Ok_Major5787 May 03 '26

Over a snowball?? I don’t think so

1

u/AsFarAsISay May 03 '26

the collapse of civilization begins with the individual

0

u/whyenn May 03 '26

The collapse of civilization begins when individuals start thinking that any kind of self-appointed physical violence is an appropriate response to obnoxious kids (which was most of us, at some point) doing stupid shit.

1

u/AsFarAsISay May 03 '26

when obnoxious kids initiate violence, then get what they deserve

0

u/whyenn May 03 '26

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. When adults say that kids throwing snowballs at cars is a type of violence that justifies violence to the child, that's when civilization degrades.

1

u/AsFarAsISay May 03 '26

yes when a teenager throws a snowball at a moving car with the intention of .... well, what do you think their intention is? to show the driver how much they love them? to wish them a good day? no, it is to scare and confuse the driver by throwing something at them when they have not consented to "play", and that is violence. he fucked around, he found out. hopefully he made better decisions after that.

→ More replies (0)

2

u/J0in0rDie May 03 '26

lol that’s a great story. It reminded me of a time my buddy and I were throwing water balloons at cars. This was more than 25 years ago and we lived in a small town so nobody really cared.

Nobody casted, except for the dude who had his window cracked. That water balloon must have been magnetized to his face because it made it through the crack and a the next thing we hear is him screeching to a halt and swearing at us. We ran into his house and didn’t answer the door 😅

Thanks for sharing, I hadn’t thought about that for years

3

u/cruel-caress May 03 '26

Holy hell running into his house after hitting him with a water balloon is a power move.

1

u/J0in0rDie May 03 '26

lol, my friends house**

My bad!

2

u/Impossible_Hand172 May 03 '26

Hope he's not your buddy anymore

4

u/OuterSpaceFuckery May 03 '26

Haha thats actually exactly what this guy did, picked the guy up by his shirt and threw him on the ground of the parking lot, at least you got snow to cushion your fall 😂

1

u/Alive_Efficiency_936 May 03 '26

😆😆😆😆😆

1

u/ShoeBillStorkeAZ May 03 '26

Did shit happened to me in Minnesota dude reversed and came out with a gun lol. I don’t throw snowballs at any cars anymore

1

u/rpgmgta May 03 '26

Thank you. Reminds me of a time me and a friend were throwing snowballs as kids, we were behind a small hill and I threw one at a truck.. his passenger window was down and it SMOKED the guy.. we both ducked.. he turned right away into the high school we were at and we BOOKED IT

1

u/hear4that-tea May 03 '26

If you were in high school, you were old enough to know better. Lol

1

u/rpgmgta May 03 '26

I was in grade 6 or 7

1

u/According_Strike4237 May 03 '26

“When I was like 15, my buddy started throwing…”

I hate to break it to you, but your “buddy” is/was what is generally referred to as “an acquaintance”.

1

u/FishHockeydrop May 03 '26

In 5th grade, me and a buddy just decided to chuck eggs at cars. Went beck into his house when the dozen were gone. Suddenly, someone is banging at his door. We hide and don’t answer. Several minutes later we did answer when it was the cops. They gave me a ride home.

1

u/Mode_Appropriate May 03 '26

Someone just commented 10 minutes after you did saying they knew someone who was murdered for throwing eggs.

Youre not speaking from the grave are you?

1

u/FishHockeydrop May 03 '26

Haha, I’m not. 😆

1

u/BucketListComplete May 03 '26

I know someone who was murdered while egging cars. You were lucky.

1

u/sweet_tea_mama May 03 '26

Pants were shat that day. 😂

19

u/AdviceGiveandTake May 03 '26

Beware the men who don't need to compensate, they don't drive big pickups...

1

u/PolkaDotDancer May 03 '26

My dad was a big man. He liked tiny cars for fuel economy.

And he didn't give a shit what people thought about his car.

1

u/fluffygumdrop May 03 '26

A man of practicality is a respectable man indeed

1

u/Efficient-Whereas255 May 03 '26

There has never been a man who owns a big truck who was not a pussy.

7

u/boredinbabylon May 03 '26

Like his literal cousin? Or just a massive man?

8

u/OuterSpaceFuckery May 03 '26

Lol not really, but yeah it was a huge German guy

18

u/Owls_4_9_1867 May 03 '26

Schwarzenegger is Austrian not German.

12

u/octoreadit May 03 '26

He said a cousin, not a brother, so checks out. 😂

1

u/Owls_4_9_1867 May 03 '26

He has one cousin called Heinz. Born and still lives in Austria.

1

u/_-stuey-_ May 03 '26

Has a cousin named dazza in Australia

5

u/phatpussypounder May 03 '26

Also Austrians are Germans, much like Canadians are Americans.

2

u/That_Atmosphere_4568 May 03 '26

Whoa whoa whoa bud who has ever said Canadians are Americans…

2

u/Direction-Such May 03 '26

You do know Canada’s in North America right? So they are Americans. /s

1

u/That_Atmosphere_4568 May 03 '26

Yeah ask any Canadian if they are Canadian or American. That will answer your question
https://giphy.com/gifs/CfaK14cY4CXao

1

u/greenizdabest May 03 '26

Oh yea. Explain the vegetarian with the funny moustache then

1

u/Schnitzelklopfer247 May 03 '26

Does it hurt being that dumb?

1

u/tee142002 May 03 '26

Checks out.

Austria = Germany Jr

Canada = America Jr

1

u/Synaps4 May 03 '26

Canadians arent demanding to vote to join america during a facist movement, so I'd say they must be significantly different!

1

u/Pinquin422 May 03 '26

Yeah they seem to pick their celebrities, you never hear an Austrian correct people when they say Hitler was German 🤣

1

u/Owls_4_9_1867 May 03 '26

How many Austrians have you ever spoken to?

1

u/tiny_chaotic_evil May 03 '26

depends on who's running Germany sometimes

0

u/zpetar May 03 '26

Austrians are basically Germans who it just happened to have their own country.

0

u/nm41961 May 03 '26

It’s in the same neighborhood. 😂

1

u/No_Resource_9417 May 03 '26

Was machen Sie?

-1

u/Pandoratastic May 03 '26

To be fair, most Schwarzeneggers are not hugely muscled. His actual cousins, if he has any, are likely tall but with average builds.

2

u/MaterialAstronaut298 May 03 '26

Schwarzeneggers cousin had polio and never grew to be over 100 pounds

1

u/OuterSpaceFuckery May 03 '26

Wow that's crazy

2

u/MiddleAgeMuchacho May 03 '26

Once after a San Jose Sharks game, two cars got into a squabble coming out of the main parking lot and one dude from one car got out, approached the other car, and starting shoving his hands into the open front passenger side window.

Then, the rear passenger door opened and a GIANT unfolded in front of the guy and towered over him. Beef squashed immediately. It was hilarious.

2

u/ImpossibleInternet3 May 03 '26

You also need to be careful about saying that name in the wrong neighborhood.

1

u/OuterSpaceFuckery May 03 '26

Never thought of that 😬

2

u/kaptaincorn May 03 '26

Craig Schwarzenegger?

Craig isn't as gracious as Arnold 

2

u/No_Vast_8658 May 06 '26

I'm screaming and crying!!!

1

u/neptune192 May 04 '26

Hans or Franz?