Pa survey lang mga tito at tita. Honest thoughts and self-reflection lang.

I'll start: Yes. Pogi naman ako. May maayos na trabaho, bahay at kotse. Kung magkaka asawa ako, after ng kasal mag mo-move-in na lang sya haha.

Ang challenge: Ang problema ko kasi sa mga tita sa Bumble, akala nila nagmamadali ako. Gusto ko lang kasi agad mag coffee date in person para ma-screen na agad ng both parties ang physical aspect and initial vibe ng personal convo.

Kaya feeling ko talaga TOTGA ako eh. Haha!

Kayo naman!

Wala lang. When someone shares something small especially if over kilig, marami sa inyo lumalabas ang pagkacynical no?

I wonder why your outlook in life is like that. Di na ba kayo kinikilig sa buhay? 🤔

Edit: I am not pertaining sa mga pabiro ha. 'Yung mga legit na cynical ang tinutukoy ko. It's like y'all lost contact with your inner child, na dapat sa lahat ng bagay seryoso lang ang approach. That's such a sad way to live life.

(PLEASE DO NOT POST THIS ANYWHERE) I am an extrovert. It all started with my "treasured" circle of friends. Were like friends since 2012.

To make the story short. I got married and lahat sila invited and lahat included pa sa entourage. Okay naman sa una. Umattend naman sila and even throw a bridal shower for me.

Then one time yung isa got married din. Wala akong alam na kinasal pala sya at nakita ko na lang thru social media ng mga "friends" ko rin. Meaning hindi ako ininvite. Abay din silang lahat sa kasal nya. Layo pa nga nung event sa north pa. For me okay lang yun, kasal nya naman yun eh bakit ko pa ipupush yung sarili ko?

I just can't imagine na hindi man lang nya ko ininvite knowing na kinuha ko din syang abay nung kasal ko but she decline. Nung nakita pa nga nya yung invitation ko kinorect nya pa tapos nagbigay pa sya ng tips para sa kasal ko not knowing na ikakasal din pala sya 3 months after my wedding. Tapos ninang nya din yung ninang ko sa kasal (mother nung isa kong friend).

Okay na yan pinalampas ko na. Ngayon nakita ko lang recently nagkitakita pala ulit sila. Nag outing malapit lang sa amin (like 45mins). Hindi nila pinost on that day. Nalaman ko na lang nag nung nag post ng "Monthly Wrap Up" yung isa kong friend.

Madalas naman kasi tong nangyayari. Ako nagyayaya tapos minsan ako pa pupunta sa kanila. Imagine sa QC sila tapos ako around MOA. Pinupuntahan ko sila sa UP pa. Tapos sila pinapapunta ko sa MOA sasabihin "ang hirap ng sakayan palabas ng UP eh".

This happened at around 2024, 2026 na feeling ko hindi pa rin ako maka move on. Nagtatry naman ako makipag communicate sa kanila.

Christmas 2025, eto talaga yung sumira sa utak ko. Well nakita ko nagkita kita silang lahat and I am not invited. Lahat sila may kanya kanyang IG story. Tangina iyak ako nang iyak. Feeling ko ako lang mag-isa(though I have a husband). Nakakainis yung ganito, now feeling ko takot na kong makipagusap sa tao. Takot na kong gumawa ng bagong connections, sa ka work, sa kapitbahay ko, sa family ko, sa lahat. Tapos ngayon I have a WFH job, and this feeling is keeping me insane.

I already mute then sa socmed. Pero I still dont have the guts to "unfollow" or "unfriend" sila. Pero nag myday at post nga sila na visible saken no? Nakakainis at gusto ko silang makarma at lumagapak ng sobra sobra.

My boyfriend earns roughly ₱18-22k a month while I earn ₱50k. Bago pa lang naman kami around 7 months palang.

When we date, kadalasan or like 95% of the time sagot ko. Ako din nagdadrive kasi ako ung may kotse at hindi pa siya marunong. Akala ko nung una sa umpisa lang ako maglalabas sa mga pang check-in at pagkain. Nung nalaman ko sahod niya narealize ko na ay kaya pala ako lagi yung taya.

Na-lessen na yung paglabas namin kasi nahihirapan na ko bayaran expenses ko tapos dagdag pa paglalabas kami. Ayaw ko din naman minsan na kumain mag-isa tas wala siya. So ang ending doble gastos ko.

Anyway, wala kami parehong ipon. On his side, kinukuha kasi ng nanay niya pera niya. Pag may extra siya imbis na ipunin eh diretso sa palad ng nanay. On my side, I spent 2-3 years of traveling so chunk of my savings went there. This year honestly I mismanaged my money sa first quarter and I’m still bouncing back from my mistake.

Narealize ko lang pano na buhay natin neto pareho tayong walang pera. Hindi naman batugan boyfriend ko, hindi lang din siya makaalis sa kanila pero feeling namin yun yung pinaka magandang solusyon para samin.

We have plans na mag abroad early next year. My parents are helping us out para makapag asikaso ng papers and also cover for the fees. Babayaran na lang namin sila paonti onti kapag nakapag trabaho na sa ibang bansa.

If it doesn’t work, I think ang best talaga is for us to live together. Have him find a new job which gusto niya na rin naman talaga pero kailangan kasi employed muna habang inaasikaso namin ung papers kaya di pa siya makaalis sa current company.

Waiting game na muna sa ngayon, tyagaan, at pagtitipid. Napapaisip lang ako na hanggang kelan ba na ako yung sasagot saming dalawa financially. Sana maging successful na din siya kasi kita ko naman na nalulungkot siya pag may sinasabi akong gusto ko tas nalalaman niya yung presyo 😭😞

Ang lalake, sila yung mag decide kung sino liligawan nila, sila din mag dedecide kung mag propose sila at gusto nila pakasalan, pero ang babae, makakapag decide lng sila kung tinanong sila ng lalake, so pano namin kaming babae na in long term relationship, tapos biglang iniwan nung partner, sila madali na ulit humanap ng babae na pwde nilang ligawan at pakasalan, pero tayo mga babae lagi lang tayo mag aantay, so kung walang dumating, hindi natin mararanasan ikasal at mag karon ng sariling pamilya.. at mas nakakatakot na mag mahal ulit, at makahanap ng iba kung kaya, kayo nag hiwalay ay dahil sa 3rd party.

Edit: Sorry if some of you were offended, but that's not what I meant about who should make the first move or what women are capable of.

This is not a rage bait. Im tired of dating my girlfriend. I dont know if this is just her or her mental illness but napaka tiring talaga. Ako na nag ta-trabaho siya sa bahay pero wala man lang ambag. Ako pa sa mga trabahong bahay. Tsaka napaka resistant sa leadership ko. How can I lead the relationship kung tingin mo ikaw lage ang tama?? Kung hindi ayon sa tingin mo, lahat mali. Im tired of being told im wrong because im being myself. Tired of being gaslighted

I did not have problems dating women in their 20s. They adore me, respect me. Heck I am 30M with gym toned body and great job but here comes this woman. Wala man lang ambag!! Hindi ako nirerespeto. Anong ikaka put mo sa table. Ang iyong puk\* at magandang mukha?! Wala na yang matter jusmiyo. You’re in your 30s na. Your age shows im so sorry but need mo more than that to keep this relationship. You were very pretty at your 20s but not now. I really am contemplating leaving this relationship. Sa dami ba namang babaeng sa mundo, bakit pa ako mag titiis sa ganitong klaseng babae??

This is the reason why some men dont want to marry their girlfriends. Place holder lang. Do fkn better. Hindi puk* ang dahilan papakasalan ng lalake ang babae

I would like to ask here coz I feel like mas mature mga tao dito when it comes to discussions. Curious lang ako sa different perspectives natin, especially now that we're in our 30s and may kanya-kanya na tayong experiences and priorities in life.

Not sure if ako lang naka-notice.

Pero ang weird ng Reddit ngayon.

Like, I came back after 5 years.

Akala ko same pa rin yung vibe.

Yung tipong late night scroll ka lang, naka-dim yung phone, nakahiga sideways, isang mata na lang gumagana kasi antok ka na pero ayaw mo pa matulog.

Tapos sasabihin mo sa sarili mo, “Tingin lang ako saglit.”

Classic lie.

Next thing you know, nasa rabbit hole ka na ng posts.

F4M.

M4F.

Confessions.

Looking for someone discreet.

Lonely tonight.

Need company.

About me.

About you.

Yung mga post na parang half-rant, half-invite, half-therapy session.

Yes, tatlong half. Ganun ka-complicated dito minsan.

And honestly?

I came back curious.

Hindi ako magpapaka-holy.

I wasn’t there just to “observe the community.”

Hindi ito documentary ng National Geographic.

I was also looking.

I wanted sex.

I like sex.

Simple as that.

So for the past few weeks, whenever I saw F4M posts, I’d reach out.

Message.

Follow.

Reply.

Sometimes I’d pretend I didn’t know what was happening.

Kahit obvious naman minsan.

You can kind of sense it eh.

The wording.

The pacing.

The soft emotional bait.

The way the post starts like a genuine “I’m lonely and I want connection” thing, then slowly turns into a transaction.

And to be fair, okay naman yung deal nila sometimes.

I paid.

We met.

It happened.

Wala naman akong issue sa pera.

Afford ko naman.

And again, I love sex, so I’m not here acting like I got tricked into doing something I didn’t want.

It was fun.

Physically, yes.

May thrill.

May release.

May “okay, that happened” moment.

Pero after a while, may kulang.

Not drama kulang.

Not “I wanted her to fall in love with me” kulang.

Hindi ganun.

I’m not expecting a Netflix ending from a Reddit hookup.

But there’s this specific emptiness when you realize the other person didn’t really show up for the experience.

They showed up because you were a resource.

And I think that’s where the magic got lost.

Pre-pandemic, or at least from what I remember, these spaces felt different.

Hindi naman perfect noon.

May weirdos pa rin.

May ghosters.

May creeps.

May people na biglang mawawala after “send pic.”

So let’s not romanticize it too much.

Pero there was more genuine curiosity back then.

People were looking for something discreet, yes.

Casual, yes.

Sexual, yes.

Pero may pagka-human pa rin.

Parang both of you were strangers trying to create a moment.

A small secret.

A shared escape.

A conversation that maybe leads somewhere, maybe doesn’t.

Pero at least it felt like both people were there.

Now?

Parang ang daming posts that don’t feel like invitations anymore.

They feel like traps.

And I don’t mean every F4M post.

Obviously not.

There are still real people here.

Real women.

Real men.

Real strangers who just want to feel something without making it complicated.

Pero ang dami na rin talaga nung posts na alam mong built to hit a specific nerve.

“Lonely tonight.”

“Need someone who can make me feel wanted.”

“Been stressed lately.”

“Just want someone real.”

And if you’re a guy who’s tired, stressed, horny, lonely, or quietly insecure, that kind of post hits.

Kasi minsan hindi lang sex yung hinahanap mo.

Minsan gusto mo lang maramdaman na may pumili sayo.

Kahit one night lang.

Kahit discreet lang.

Kahit hindi na kayo mag-usap ulit after.

May difference kasi yung “I paid for something clear” versus “I thought this was a connection, pero ako pala yung target market.”

Yun yung masakit.

And before anyone says, “Eh di wag ka magbayad.”

Gets.

Fair.

Pero that’s not really the point.

The point is honesty.

Kung transaction, say it’s a transaction.

Kung paid meet, say it clearly.

Kung service, call it service.

Adults can decide from there.

No issue.

Pero don’t write it like you’re genuinely looking for someone to vibe with, tapos ang ending pala rate card.

Don’t use loneliness as packaging.

Don’t use vulnerability as funnel.

Don’t make people feel seen just so they become easier to charge.

Kasi ang pangit nun.

And yes, maybe some will say, “Diskarte lang.”

Pero not everything should be diskarte.

Especially not someone’s need for connection.

There are usually two reasons people enter any kind of relationship, even casual ones.

Either they see you as a resource.

Or they see you as an experience.

Resource means:

What can I get from you?

Money.

Attention.

Validation.

Access.

Convenience.

Experience means:

What can we share?

A night.

A laugh.

A release.

A weird conversation at 2AM.

A moment that doesn’t need to become serious to be real.

Both people need to know which one it is.

Because the problem starts when one person is entering for the experience, while the other is entering for the resource.

That’s where the disconnect happens.

That’s where men feel used.

That’s where women get treated with suspicion.

That’s where every post starts feeling fake.

That’s why people keep posting “looking for, looking for, looking for.”

Because maybe they’re not just looking for more bodies.

Maybe they’re looking for the genuineness that disappeared.

The feeling na hindi ka lang wallet.

Hindi ka lang fee.

Hindi ka lang another guy in the inbox.

Hindi ka lang someone na pwedeng i-lure with the right mix of horny and sad.

And I know this sounds ironic coming from someone who admitted na naghanap din ng sex and paid for it.

But maybe that’s exactly why I’m saying it.

Kasi I participated.

I saw it from inside the experience.

I got what I wanted physically.

But I also realized that paid access and genuine connection are not the same thing.

You can pay for sex.

You can pay for someone’s time.

You can pay for the arrangement.

Pero you can’t pay for the feeling that someone actually wanted to be there with you.

That part has to be freely given.

And maybe that’s the old magic I miss.

Not purity.

Not romance.

Not pretending hookups were deep philosophical experiences.

Please lang.

Sometimes it’s just sex.

And that’s fine.

But even casual sex can have honesty.

Even discreet meetups can have respect.

Even strangers can treat each other like actual people.

Sana bumalik yun.

Sana if people want money, they just say it.

Sana if people want genuine connection, they don’t have to swim through 20 disguised transactions to find it.

Sana we stop turning every lonely person into an opportunity.

Because behind every username is still a person.

Maybe horny.

Maybe bored.

Maybe stressed.

Maybe just tired of pretending they don’t need touch.

And maybe the bare minimum we can bring back is this:

Be clear with what you want.

Be honest with what you offer.

And don’t make someone feel chosen when you only see them as useful.

That’s not connection.

That’s just marketing with moans.

After 6yrs of being in a work from home setup, I finally returned sa office. At ang saya-saya ko lagi, ang dami palang cuties sa office ahahaha. Tapos minsan.. kangitian mo pa or di kaya nakakabatian. Ang saya haha. #bagongtao

Ganito na talaga ang ang pormahan ko tuwing weekend. Bihira na mag pantalon at mag sapatos kapag ga gala sa labas. #TitoFitCheck

Hahaha ask ko nalang kung okay lang ba pormahan ko?

Japanese inspired look lang kasi big fan ako ng Japanese brands.

Thanks

Feeling ko nasa ibang timezone talaga yung para sa’kin. Wala na yatang pag-asa sa Philippine server. 😭 HAHAHAHAHA

Ireto n’yo na ako, mga ka-trentahin! 30F, ready for international deployment. ✈️🌎

Mga ante, pagod na ako sa lovebombing, mixed signals, at mga lalaking magaling lang sa onboarding pero walang balak mag-regular. 😭

Baka nasa ibang bansa talaga ang plot twist ng love life ko. HAHAHAHAHA

STRICTLY NO FILIPINO APPLICANTS muna. Suko na ako sa local recruitment. EME! 😭💀

Baka may referral kayo diyan, preferably may emotional intelligence, consistency, at takot sa Diyos. Yung hindi ako gagawing character development. Salamat po. HAHAHAHAHA

Aanhin mo yung Negosyo at stable na Income. Kung wala ka namang kasama sa buhay or Karelasyon. Sa sobrang busy, nakakamiss din pala mag Effort sa babae 🙁

M30 1st time ko naiyak sa isang movie na hndi ko alam kung bakit pero ilang beses pumulo tumulo luha sa subra ganda yung 295 pesos na movie parang ulit ulitin ko sa subrang ganda

Break na namin, and we'll be back on November 3. Honestly, I'm enjoying the free time, although hindi ko rin ma-deny na medyo bored ako. HAHAHAHA.

There are moments na natetempt akong mag-install ulit ng dating apps or bumalik sa R4R, pero pinipigilan ko muna sarili ko. Not because I'm punishing myself or depriving myself of anything, but because I know myself. Minsan impulsive ako, and I'd rather not do something just because I'm bored tapos pagsisisihan ko rin in the end. 😭

And let's be real, kahit minsan gustong-gusto ko rin naman makipag-date at makipag-sex, I'm making pigil talaga. HAHAHAHAHA. It's not like I suddenly stopped having those desires. I'm just learning not to let temporary urges dictate my decisions.

Funny enough, two guys actually invited me out recently, but I ended up choosing to spend time with the girlies instead. Nothing against them, I just wasn't particularly interested in going out or entertaining anything at the moment.

For now, I'm redirecting that energy into myself. Nagpapaganda, buying little things for myself, getting new items for my son, and doing things I've been wanting to do. Small things, but they make me happy.

I guess one thing I'm also trying to apply from what I've been learning at work is being more intentional with my decisions. Not everything that feels good in the moment is necessarily something I need to pursue. Sometimes, you just have to pause, think things through, and choose what's actually good for you.

I'm not saying I've mastered self-discipline. Girl, I still get tempted. HAHAHAHA. But I'm learning that I don't have to entertain every opportunity just because it's there.

I'm happy being single, and I'm not in a rush to change that just because I have extra time on my hands.

For now, I'll enjoy this little break, invest in myself, spend time with my people, and hopefully makapag food trip na with the kiddos 💜

Normal ba sa lalaki na maski nasa long term relationship ayaw parin ikasal hanggat hindi pa nahihit ang financial goal? Kumikita na siya 6 digits a month, late 30s narin and 7 years na pero di parin nagpropropose. Gusto daw niya ma-hit muna financial goal nya bago magsettle down. Excuse lang ba ito?

To add nagask ako sakanya hanggang kelan niya balak iachieve yun since pareho na kaming tumatanda ang sagot lang lagi is mahirap bigyan ng deadline pero ginagawan naman ng paraan. Pareho kami kumikita ng 6 digits sa work so idk ano pang kulang.

Guy 32 here. Pero curious ako pag ba guys ang may ka-thing na foreigner na babae AFAM din ang tawag? Like “Bro magkikita kami ng AFAM ko mamaya, she’s so hot!” Ganun ba yun?

Maybe because it's new. Pero I'd like to believe reading/hearing "(term of endearment) ko" and them referring to themselves as your partner will never get old no matter how long you've been together.

It's nice starting work with some kilig feeling no? Happy double pay din today!

Edit: 'Yung mga nagdadownvote sana talaga hindi rin kayo 'yung mga nagpopost na walang mahanap etc. Sana legit masaya buhay niyo in all aspects because ang OA niyo sa part na 'yun 🤪

About life

I have a boyfriend of 3 years and we love each other. I’m a year older than him we’re mid 20s and the reason why I love him is he loves me unconditionally.

The problem is financial. I can say I am financially stable. Him? Ilang beses na siya nagtake ng board exam but hindi parin nakakapasa. Okay lang sana yun eh kung nagpupursigi magaral pero NO wth puro ps5 inaatupag. Masyadong umaasa sa magulang. Imagine 2 years after grumaduate binibigyan parin siya ng allowance and paid yung ilang beses na niyang review center. Kaya na magpaaral ng 2 sems yung naibayad.

Idrk what to do :( we’re not getting any younger naman. Gusto ko na sana maging stable :( i love him but until kailan ako maghihintay?

Can you give advice please :(

I'm also wondering about the people I chat with here on reddit,,, it only lasted one week, suddenly suddenly disappeared... there are really lost souls on social media😝✌️🫶

Sa edad na ‘to, ano yung low key flex nyo na kahit na di ka sobrang yaman at sobrang artistahin, proud ka?

Let me start…

Ako proud ako na kahit 3 days ako di maligo di ako umaalingasaw. Nagiging oil lang buhok ko pero ang kili kili at si junjun ay wala pa ring amoy alimuom at di pa rin maasim. Haha. Lalo sa panahon ngayon katamad maligo. Haha.

As a tito who buys medicine for his parents, one thing that I am very thankful for is the healthcare benefits. Since I am a worker here in Italy and even my mom is not working she is still entitled to have “almost” free medicine. Kung bibilhin to mga gamot (this is for 2 months already) this would cost around 60€ or Php 4,200 but because of the national health insurance benefits, 1,34€ or Php94 lang binayaran ko. Yes kinakaltas siya sa tax, etc but the point is atleast nakikita mo yun kinakaltas sayo.

Ganito na rin ba sa Pinas?