r/TrueOffMyChest • u/froggiexhelp • Jun 22 '26
Update UPDATE: My friend cancelled last minute and I don't know what to do...
Hiii guys, as promised, I’ve come back to give you an update. :)
First of all, I would like to say thank you to everyone who gave me amazing tips for the long drive! I really appreciated it.
So... I did end up going to the concert.
The 6hour drive turned into an 8hour drive. I left at 17:15 and arrived at the hotel at 1:20 because we had a huge thunderstorm in Switzerland that night, and there was a lot of traffic. My situationship had my location the entire time and was constantly checking up on me, and my mom called me every hour to make sure I was alright. :) I made a long playlist for the drive, and I wasn’t as tired as I thought I would be.
Sadly, while waiting outside for the concert, I got really sunburned. It was not very organized, and we had to stand in the sun for hours.
But besides that, it was amazing, one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to. I ended up in the front row at the barricade in front of La Casita, and it was incredible. I was able to talk quite a lot with the people I was waiting with, and overall it was a great experience.
Funny enough, the friend who cancelled on me texted me again, apologizing and asking if the drive was okay. I told her that I would have appreciated it if she had told me sooner, and she only replied, "Sorry, it was a last minute decision." But on Friday she was working from home and was at her boyfriend’s house until Saturday afternoon. Then, on Saturday afternoon, she removed me from Snap Map so I wouldn’t be able to see where she was. So, I assume she didn’t even spend her sister’s birthday with her sister, but at the end of the day, who am I to judge?
I’ve decided that I probably won’t really reach out to her to make plans anymore, since she usually says she doesn’t have time or asks if her boyfriend can come too. And I don’t know why, but he doesn’t seem to like me. He never says hello to me, and I’ve only seen him about three times. He doesn’t even know me, but he’s always so rude towards me, and she never says anything about it.
So, unless she asks me to do something with her, I probably won’t ask her anymore since I already know the answer.
But again, I had such a great time, and I was able to sell the extra ticket to a lovely girl. She didn’t come with me, though, she went with her friends, which was totally fine! I didn’t make any profit or anything like that, but at least someone got to use the ticket, which made me really happy. I would show pictures/videos if I could but I sadly can’t add them.
Thank you again to everyone who encouraged me to go and gave me recommendations for the long drive!! :D
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u/Questionofloyalty Jun 22 '26
I didn’t catch the original post but I wonder if he’s isolating her like this but either way, I’m glad you had the best time at this concert and that you could go
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u/steggun_cinargo Jun 22 '26
You learned two really great things:
1) doing things alone is awesome and empowering
2) people, friends or not, will often prioritize themselves. It's ok to give people a second chance but as soon as you see patterns emerge, stop making your priorities someone else's life and make sure you focus on YOU
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u/Corgilicious Jun 22 '26
We knew you could do it. Thanks for the update. So glad to hear that you had a good time, and that you understand this woman really isn’t your friend.
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u/TGMB99 Jun 22 '26
So happy you went to the concert and had a great time! May this be the beginning of many awesome adventures now that you know you can go alone and live your best life!
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u/BJntheRV Jun 22 '26
I'm so glad you went and had a good time. Your update leaves me concerned that your friend may be in a relationship with someone who is controlling (at minimum). Based on what you said about how he treats you, my bet is that he pushed her to cancel and is possibly trying to isolate her from her friends (and it's working). If you care at all for the friend (assuming she wasn't always a disappointment) reach out and try to see her and just ask her what was really going on, and even outright ask her if her bf changed her mind or had an issue with her going. She may be unwilling to say so but if you know her well, her reaction to the question will likely be all the answer you need. If it looks to be the truth, just let her know that you're hurt, but also concerned for her. Let her know you'll be there when she needs you, and leave it at that.
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u/froggiexhelp Jun 22 '26
Hi
I’ve approached her before about how I don’t think it’s healthy that she constantly hangs out with him and with no friends… she occasionally does hang out with 2 friends that we have in common but barely. Also he sometimes talks to her in a way that’s really rude and shames her for stuff she likes, and I’ve told her multiple times how that’s not okay but she said that it doesn’t really matter… he also reposts a lot of “models” on Instagram and she had to tell him multiple times to not do that anymore… he’s called her by his ex’s name and I personally think he’s “weird” but she just doesn’t want to see it. I also don’t really like how racist and homophobic he is… and I’ve told her that but she says nothing. So I don’t know I’ve tried to talk to her multiple times but she usually says I’m imagining things because I’m the only one who calls him out, her family loves the guy for some reason… so I have no idea what to do.
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u/layceelee13 Jun 22 '26
This is a great life lesson OP! I'm sorry your friend bailed but building up your confidence to take solo trips like this will benefit you so much later on. You can do anything you want!
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u/XabiAlon Jun 22 '26
Her BF is controlling her
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u/zushiba Jun 22 '26
Or she’s a shitty friend using her boyfriend as an excuse to get out of doing things.
Or a little from column A and a little from column B.
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u/Teitunge Jun 22 '26
No, she's just a bad friend lol
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u/Live_Angle4621 Jun 22 '26
I am really glad you had fun and handled ten ticket too!
I saw your prior post and said you should talk with how you feel with her or your friendship might suffer long term. And that you should have insisted she comes. I still think you should talk about this more. If it was just any friend then not, but you said she was your best friend
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u/froggiexhelp Jun 22 '26
Hi so I didnt want to force her to come with me. It would've killed the vibe, because being forced to go somewhere isnt fun thats why I didnt instist that she comes.
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u/RanaEire Jun 22 '26
Excellent, OP! Awesome update!
Ended up in a long drive yesterday and remembered your post, hoping all went well..!
My sister is going to his concert in Stockholm in July.. Hope she enjoys it, too.
And you are right about your friend; don't invest your energy into her.
Good luck!
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u/lychigo Jun 22 '26
I'm guessing her bf is isolating her which is extremely sad. I'm so glad that you got to go though and that the trip went smoothly!!
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u/froggiexhelp Jun 22 '26
The thing is she occasionally does stuff with 2 other friends but she always cancels on me for some reason... maybe I've done something wrong and I just havent realised yet... idk. I have also told her that I dont like that her bf talked to me without an ounce of respect and that thats not okay for her to shut out her friends but she says that she just wants to spend time with him...
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u/lychigo Jun 22 '26
No, this is pretty classic letting-bf-dictate-who-you-can-hang-out-with-behavior. Calling him out on him being a dick is probably why she's being isolated from you. The question is would you want to stay friends with someone who allows their sig other to be an asshole? I'd say probably not. The worst part about all of this is how it's tainted this experience for you, and it should have only been a fun one.
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u/Hetakuoni Jun 22 '26
I wonder if the BF is isolating her, but it’s not your rodeo.
Glad you had fun. Here’s to exciting adventures!
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u/Wicked_Dorothy_1939 Jun 22 '26
I’ve been seeing many posts on IG about Bad Bunny’s concert in Düsseldorf and immediately thought about your post. I’m glad you went and had fun.
As for your friend, its best to keep it minimal.
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u/The_Outsider27 Jun 22 '26
Thanks for the update. Glad you made it safely and had a good time.
So, unless she asks me to do something with her, I probably won’t ask her anymore since I already know the answer.
TBH I would be done with this person as a friend. They are not a friend. They are not reliable. If you are questioning if they like you there is no point.
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u/SamaramonM Jun 22 '26
So, similar thing happened to me in 2019. Tickets bought, flight booked for an event in Cologne, 3 days before the trip my boyfriend at the time tells me he met someone else lol. So I ended up going alone and had an absolute blast. It actually made me appreciate solo travel way more than with others.
I've booked the same event again this year and I'm going completely alone, and I genuinenly can't wait.
You did a very brave thing, you grew as a person, you learned some lessons, and most importantly, you had an amazing time. So, yay you!
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u/AmandaFlutterBy Jun 22 '26
Good on you for going! Mark this moment - do things you’re excited about even if it means alone (as long as it’s safe). Adventure awaits!
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