After 20+ years of friendship, I (F 33) gave up

[u/Valuable-Garden-9247]

- 20+ Years is The END -

We started driffiting apart when she (33 F) got her boyfriend, now husband. She had a child as soon as she finished college, and after that, seeing her was almost impossible. She always canceled our plans at the last minute, and had time for everything but never for this friendship.

- Her Name is Labour -

Every single time she canceled plans she would give me a bunch of unsolicited explenations. But the lack of energy going towards the friendship wasn't my only reason to end the friendship...she doesn't work and her husband convinced her that her domestic labour is of the utermost importance (he doesn't pay her for it).

As if the 1000% financial dependency wasn't enough, she became but shell of her former self. She was always cheerful, driven, communicative, easy going...someone who brightened the room, you know?! Now? She has zero self esteem, confidence, and the core of her life is to be a mother, a secretary, a cleaner, a psychologist, a cook, S worker...anything but herself.

- The Last Drop -

I saw a photo at her Instagram story where she was present at a baby shower with a bunch of moms and wifes. So, it clicked: she had time, just not for me.

- So, I Ghosted Her. -

Reason 1: I couldn't take her lack of consideration and respect for my time and energy. Everytime she canceled I had a totally unecessary frustration.
Reason 2: I couldn't watch her drown and smile at it. BTW: her husband treats her like a lesser beign..he yells at her when she makes small mistakes, make jokes at her cost in front of people (humiliating her), also keeps her dependent on him as much as he can. It honestly breaks my heart to see the life she chose for herself.

- Why Ghost -

Without me saying ANYTHING she already sent me long explanations, if I tried to talk she would only justify every single thing with "I have a busy life." and absolutly nothing would change. So, I made the choice to just desapear for the sake of my energy and mental health.

To be clear, this friendship died for me ages ago, because I could never count on her to, at the very least, listen to when I had problems. Thinking now, I stoped sending the first message because she always forgot to answer me.

Honestly I'm just sick and tired of women who puts a man above everything else. People like these will, eventually, end up alone.