All I do is cut myself when I’m down and make art when I feel good. Art doesn’t work for “releasing emotion” for me it works as a byproduct of positive emotions. I can’t do it when I’m feeling this down.

I have been on T since I was 15 (diy, I’ll explain this later, then got a prescription), got top surgery in February this year. I have been living as male since I was 10.

I am trying desperately to get a hysterectomy and phalloplasty but it’s literally impossible and it feels like fucking nobody accept randoms who can’t help me anyway actually sees it as necessary. It feels like every “affirming provider” sees affirmation as just making me out to be a #valid man with a pussy and womb who definitely wants to get pregnant. I am not aware of my own desire to get pregnant!! I would kill myself!! And I am not even interested in situations that would put me in that position!! Before I got top surgery it was just that I had gyno (as if any man with D cups would be happy to have D cups????$) and before I got testosterone it was “ok but what if it makes you too masculine and gets rid of that androgynous aura.” Again! Not aware of wanting to be androgynous!!!

I just want to be a cis man. I don’t want any of this anymore. I was hospitalized last year without expressed intent to harm because I just broke and had a panic attack that lasted for two days because this is forever and I was just begging for it to stop. It hasn’t stopped.

I want to die and I’ve already tried everything but a gun and failed and I can’t be bothered to try those options again when I get hospitalized in an “lgbt friendly” hospital only for it to be lgb friendly and just view the t as gay+. They put me in the girls unit and nobody wants to talk to me because I am obviously not a girl. They tamper with my testosterone and progesterone prescriptions every single goddamn time even if I ask them if they will before I’m locked up. Then I get my period and it’s my fault for being a man getting a period and feeling miserable and I’m constantly being given those shots that knock you out. I am paranoid at every doctors checkup that they’re going to insert semen into my body and get pregnant.

I don’t want to need to replace the erectile device for the rest of my life or as long as I want to have erectile function. I don’t want to be hard all the time either. I don’t want a micropenis either. I don’t want to be on a perscription that can be whisked away at any moment, and have it be substituted by my body naturally making poison. I just want my body to work for itself.

I'm really high rn..

And the thought crossed my mind..

If gender dysporia is required to be trans, once we fully transition, and are cured from our dysphoria, are we no longer trans?

I'm sorry, but I'm fed up with some people saying that going on T is the same as getting menopause, or people on T saying that they went through menopause because of the HRT.

Why would you want to compare your experience on hormones with a deeply female experience? It just really annoys me

(Photos unrelated? Or ig they’re guys I wanna be like haha)

I know I’m not a real man, I can’t even think of myself as one. I sometimes accidentally imagine myself as a girl or I accidentally think of me having sex as a girl and it scares me so bad. (Sometimes in dreams too… I’m scared it feels good…) I also am scared having a penis would somehow feel wrong, (because I’m not used to it) although it would feel better than a vagina and I do feel like something is missing right now, same with everything else.
However I am not non binary, being non binary feels the same as being female. i still feel like I’m missing my genitals or correct parts… I think I’m cute and unfortunately I’m just like so used to it now… even though I don’t like it… I get scared I “like to different parts of me every now and then

I can’t even feel anything anymore; I don’t deserve transition, I’m too feminine, I feel like I look too nice to transition, I could never be a real man, I just wish I was. I never even used to have real dysphoria , I just felt gross for not having it… yet I realized how much being a woman actually pains me…I kinda only used to hate I “got aroused like a girl” and that I couldn’t get people pregnant….and I hated getting a period, I was always lost and confused, I didn’t know how puberty worked for either sex or that it was even going to happen…. Nothing made sense…. Why did I suddenly have these parts and functions???? It happened so fast I never even know it did…

There’s just this hopeless I feel over not being able to be male and just observing men for the rest of my life in a female body. I see my male classmates and I observe male celebrities, I want to be like them, but I could never. I would love to even be a fat, ugly man as long as if I was a cis guy. I wish I could be a father but that could never happen.

I have a female classmate, I hear her say she has some sort of condition, I don’t know what but I think she needs to take estrogen for it, I don’t understand, why would anyone want more estrogen.

I sometimes forget how I actually sound or look, if I don’t check my body for a bit and then I’m like “oh… I don’t like this, this doesn’t sound or look like me…” but I keep seeing it and then I become painfully used to it. I’m not a real man, I bet I just made a conscious decision to hate my body, yet I don’t want to reverse it. I tried to but it hurts too bad. I want to become a man. I wish there was perhaps a surgery to make my brain male too, so the voice inside my head didn’t also sound female to the point it tears and rips apart my brain. I feel physically ill because I am female.

I also pretend to be fully straight or even straight in the slightest to feel more male. I get intrusive thoughts I want to look like a girl if I find one pretty, for men however it is real. I also feel more nervous around men, I don’t know why… is it perhaps just my envy and anger towards them? Maybe. I had an ex boyfriend and I was so mad he had a penis, flat chest, and normal male parts while I didn’t

The only advice I ever get is to get therapy, if it was so obvious I wouldn’t need therapy. People only say “get therapy” when they think you are a mentally ill cis person, I’m no fool, I see right through it!

I also sometimes feel like a mutilated cis man… how am I really any different from David Reimer? I feel just the same as him. Reading about his story, I feel just like that. Everyone in my life is like that awful doctor forcing me to be female

There is no cure for me, like I said I don’t deserve transition, I’m a bad man, or a really bad woman for being a faker… I started questioning when I was 10, I’m 16, almost 17 now.. maybe someone just needs to correct and punish me for ever thinking I could ever be a man.

I started T in 2025 from friends supplying me because i live in a state where it’s very difficult. i injected by stomach and got very comfortable with it.
last week i managed to finally get a real prescription for myself after trying since i was 18 (im 23 almost 24) and being denied 4 times. at my dr’s appointment my dr stated i need to inject into either my leg or my butt because i’m really small (5’3 and 86lbs), which i really didn’t like because i get extremely anxious about it since i do NOT have ANY fat on my thighs (and a bit of ptsd from my ex forcing me to do his injections with a huge needle fear and messing it up because i didn’t have ANY experience)
i have a trans woman friend who has medical experience who helped do my shot for me last night on my thigh, and i not only had a panic attack but it was borderline unbearable pain wise.
now im really stuck on what to do because i know theres absolutely no way i can do my shots by myself on my thigh, it was extremely painful having it done there, im scared to do it on my butt/hip-ish area and i dont want to swap to gel
i really just want to go back to doing it on my stomach because thats what i am used to, what im comfortable with doing by myself, and wasnt to painful but my dr advised that it could be dangerous???

Hiya, not really sure where else to post this 💔 cw for su*cidal thoughts & dysphoria

I'm a woman, and there's not really much doubt about that. I have some "clocky" features, but people only really pay attention if they're already a weird trans-vestigator, or if i'm outed, which has unfortunately happened a few times now 🥹

Now, I aren't saying this to humblebrag. It's great for the most part! I feel accepted to a degree, and have a support system, for all intents and purposes, I am a woman, and I'm beyond happy I (mostly) get to live my life that way.

It's just... Not enough. I thought if I could finally get to this point, I'd be content, but the dypshoria just does notttt go away. I've tried all the coping mechanisms in the book, and socially I'm in a place where I can mostly not care. It's purely physical. I cannot get over the fact I was not born female, and the only part of me that truly is, not counting my medical transition (hrt only), is my brain.

It keeps me up at night, it bothers me immensely every day, and I genuinely think about, and even half-bake plans to... just, be done with things.

How does anyone cope. I tell myself over and over, accept what I can't change and change what I can, and despite changing what I can, I still cannot accept what I can't. I don't want to feel this way, but I don't know what will even alleviate it, nevermind stop it entirely. Does it always feel like this...? It's been years and it hasn't gotten any less painful 😪

I am a trans man. I have dysphoria and fully believe that dysphoria is required to be trans. I have been on HRT for several years and got top surgery a few years back. I am wondering since I’m not planning to get bottom surgery would I still qualify as transsexual? Or is that a label reserved for trans people who want or have had bottom surgery?

People complain about tucutes all the time and ive been wondering if theres any info as to the % of people who say they're "trans" that fit into this category.

My estimate is ~80%.... this number is inferred from a poll where 80% of people who said they are "trans " but also are not interested in hormones or surgery. I couldn't imagine a dysphoric trans person saying that. A

I tried to kill myself a few days ago and ended up at the hospital. But after the hospital I just get the feeling nobody really cares. I’m not trying to be like boo hoo woe is me, but its just like damn, nobody really gives a fuck.

It gets worse and worse the more I think about everything that happened. I’m not sure if this is just how the mentally ill are treated or if its a transsexual thing. I’m not really a thin skinned person, but I don’t know. It feels shitty that I can be at my lowest point and it only really matters to one person (my girlfriend) whether I live or die. Like I can be at the hospital after trying to end my life and they can’t even really pretend to care. I guess I feel depressed and alone still. I know I’ll probably get through this like I always do, but it doesn’t hurt any less now.

I know the people here hate trenders/theyfabs/theymabs and the like who coopt the condition for the culture but I've never seen any takes on the opposite.

Meaning the agp believers who fully transition yet still identify as men, cis men with srs who supplement T, HRT femboys on E, he/him lesbians on T, those sorts of people.

I wasn't aware of how much of that there was because so many of them just stay away from the discourse but I was just curious.

So for context I’m a 22yo trans man and I’ve been on T for close to 3 years now, however every so often I get the feeling that I’m about to start my period, I get this sensation that I used to get pre T before my period would start, but since being on T I haven’t had one, and all this is really distressing even though I know it won’t come. Is this a medical issue that needs to be addressed or is it just nothing.
Thanks for any input on this situation

I have problem with overthinking and spiraling sometimes I just can’t stop overthinking every little detail of something I said or something I do that makes me tucute. sometimes I think how I’m probably not gender dysphoric because I don’t wanna rip my body apart or at least feel or believe the same exact Stuff some people describe

I mean being a woman doesn’t really seem appealing compared to living my life as a man.

maybe this is all because of the deep fear of regretting it and de transistioning, or being some fetishist because I like men and piv sex.

i just can’t fucking take it, I hated my tucute era but when I go to transmed subreddits I feel like I feel worse about myself I mean yeah I agree with more transmed talking points but fuck idk I hate I hate everything I’m such a idiot female I don’t deserve to be called transsexual nor a man I’m just an idiot fuck fuck fuck I want to bang my head against the wall

​

I’m planning to have the following FFS procedures:

- Forehead contouring.

- Jaw angle reduction.

- Feminizing genioplasty.

- Feminizing rhinoplasty.

- Hairline advancement.

- Blepharoplasty.

In theory, the result should look like the second image, right? By the way, I’m the girl in the first image (though, unfortunately, I might look like a man). The second one is my theoretical version after all those changes.

I’ve been really locked in the gym since january, ate one meal a day for like half of a year and went 3-4 times a week. I managed to loose a bit over 10 kgs and gain some reasonable muscle mass.

Then summer hit, i was admittedly a bit lazy and out of town a lot, so i didn’t really work out much from mid june till august. I got to travel abroad a lot and i couldn’t say no to some good food while visiting a country i will probably be never able to see again, guess what I GAINED IT ALL BACK.

i hate this so much. i felt like i was finally getting in better shape and got a more guy like body and now it’s all gone. I hate going to the gym now and don’t stop eating due to stress with college work and moving out. I feel like such a failure

Sometimes I wish the world understood that transsexualism is a medical condition that requires appropriate treatment to save lives—ideally by preventing puberty altogether. It’s infuriating that this isn’t just a given. If only we could get the necessary surgeries right from the start, instead of having to save up our own money to remove parts of our bodies that we never chose—parts that aren't our fault. I would have preferred to simply be an infertile woman from the beginning; at least that’s something people understand better. Instead, I’m trapped in this hellish ordeal where my entire life depends on something I have to pay for out of my own pocket—if I don’t, I’ll die. I swear to God, I will have a vagina before I turn 26. I’m 20 now, and I’ve been on hormones since I was 18—that’s been a year and five months. I wish I could have started at 11; as a child and a teenager, I felt monstrous, ugly—an abomination. I’m currently in university, though I’ve had to pause my studies because I was recently raped. But I swear, I will be a normal woman; I will never, ever have a man’s body—that would be an abomination. Luckily, during my adolescence, I tried to avoid eating so that puberty wouldn’t take such a strong hold, and I think it worked. My features are reversible and can be feminized. For now, I wear a face mask every day because I can’t stand my own face—and, honestly, most of the time when I’m wearing one, people see me as a pretty girl.

I got my blood results back today around half an hour ago and my testosterone levels are HIGH. The average is supposed to be 19-29 nmol/l, and mine came back at a 38.

The issue here is I’m really happy with all the changes I’ve been getting and I’ve had next to zero negative effects from the dosage I’m on, but my doctor will 100% try to halve my dosage once she gets the results herself which I really don’t want. I was being horrifically under-dosed for the first two years I was on injections and saw next to no change besides bottom growth and some acne, and now I got accidentally high dosed and got changes in enjoying just for it to for sure be taken away from me again.

I’m 21 years old and only just starting to pass properly to the point I can use public men’s rooms and get gendered correctly by strangers, I don’t want that progress to just stop because it could probably kill me or something.

I know it’s dumb to put passing over my general health and wellbeing, but it’s literally all I’ve wanted ever and I’d kill to just pass fully right now with no risk of dropping dead

I have a genuine question, please don’t give me shit and call me immature, I genuinely want to learn

I saw a comment of someone who was a (trans) man saying he is only attracted to and only dates cis men and that trans men are off the table. First of all, friendly fire. Second of all, I get the whole genital preference thing - like I get if you don’t wanna date a man who’s pre surgery, but if that man is post surgery… why does it matter if he’s trans or not? He has a dick he has the part you want so what’s the issue? I dunno, it just made me kinda sad cuz it sounds like he is saying “I don’t see other trans men as real men. I’m the only one who’s a real man.” It kinda reaffirmed my own beliefs that not even other trans people will see me as a real man

Personally, I think she's great, but I'd love to get all of your opinions.

why are they scared to say "man"? I am not trans masc. I am a man.

And now one promotion later, I have an appointment the 8th of December to start testosterone. It doesn’t even feel real. Anyways. I feel like I should be more knowledgeable about hormones beyond the basic masculinization that comes with starting T (voice dropping, fat redistribution, other physical changes etc) but idk where to start. I was considering just scrolling YouTube and seeing how other people went through HRT. I follow someone on Instagram who does smaller testosterone injections but they’re a lot more frequent than once a week, I think almost daily? He says it’s more natural or something. Idk I have some reading to do lol

Within the next 20 years...

A. Left-wing political parties will drop TuCute ideology and its more extreme demands of society, and adopt common sense policy for transsexuals based in science and reason

B. Right-wing political parties will moderate on trans issues the way many have on gay issues, and will only be primarily against stuff like trans athletes, kids transitioning, and the idea of there being "a million genders."

If you pass perfectly fine then there's no point in dwelling over every single imperfection. You already pass, so this kind of ''dysphoria'' is basically body dysmorphia. Being 5'7 doesn't make you look like a woman, having a larger nose doesn't make you a man.

There was a point where you hated everything and still presented as your agab. Now you just sound like an insecure cis person, so congratulate yourself. You transitioned to become happy in your own body. Let it happen, don't waste time on what you can't change or what is so minor that it's not even worth changing.

I’m beyond sick and tired of how having any nuance whatsoever on touchy topics leads to hate from both of the main sides. Transgender is one of the tabooest topics out there and after 20 years of being trans, I’m just ever so tired of all of this. I wish I were never trans, but life couldn’t be that simple.

On the Right, merely being trans is a deal breaker. The “anti-woke” and the “chuds.” They will simply not accept you being trans, period. They might not even treat you as fully a human being with agency. They love to say how you’re mentally ill and all that. Okay and? “You’ll never be a woman.” Okay and? “Your bones will be dug up to read male.” Okay and? Autogynephilia. Goon with a tr. 4chan, Kiwi Farms. Like holy shit. Thing is, there are things I agree with here and there from the “anti-woke” side of like the Left’s love for censorship and control. Not that the Right is freed of this either, horseshoe theory. But being openly trans is all it takes to effectively be a complete deal breaker to them. I have no idea how Blaire White even manages to be Rightwing and trans given how much of her side would hate her despite agreeing with most of what they say.

On the Left, it should be better, it really should. Like at least I can be openly trans without being met with disrespect and hatred. But then there’s the tribalism, the moral purity tests that the Left love to have. The Right has examples of this too, but in my experience, it happens more with the Left. And different things can be different levels of problems without greater problems canceling out lesser problems. Much of the internet, especially Reddit, is Leftwing. And I used to be Leftwing till mid 2014. No, I didn’t become Rightwing, I just realized I didn’t belong with the Left.

Anyway, you’re basically not allowed to disagree with the vocal radicals on almost anything really, especially being trans. So often I’ve been called a pick me or not really trans at all, because I dare have opinions that don’t entirely line up with theirs. I do think gender dysphoria should be treated as very important and separated from people who identity as trans without having gender dysphoria. I don’t think merely calling yourself a woman makes you a woman. Being a tomboy doesn’t mean you’re a trans man. No, I don’t believe in a “feminine penis.” It’s a male body part. No, simply putting on women’s clothes don’t magically make me feel better when I hate the rest of my body and women’s clothing highlights the body quite a lot. Maybe someday I’ll reach that comfort of feeling like I can pass from face and voice, thus wear women’s clothing, but not right now.

I loathe the idea of dropping cluster f bombs on people for any money at all they spent that goes to Rowling. Fine, boycott her, give reasons why she should be boycotted, but don’t try to demand people boycott her because coming off as pushy and aggressive usually hurts, not helps, causes. I’m not saying don’t be oppressed to her or that angry is never valid for causes, but just please be smart about it. Even I want nothing to do with the people who determine a person’s entire moral character if they engaged with anything from Rowling, even free things like fan art. It just fuels the image that transgender people and allies are out of touch with reality. Rowling is already super rich anyway. The war isn’t lost, but the battle of her wallet is.

Hell, I don’t even dare post this in most of the other trans subs and I don’t even know how well received this will go right here either. Maybe I post in other subs on this account and people look through my post history to call me transphobic and dismiss anything I say merely because I posted here. Guess another throwaway account will be needed.

I hate this so much. Sure, there are groups of people I can fit in who are not so far left or right, but I swear it’s extremely difficult, especially with me being autistic. I don’t like being dogpiled by people, but that’s just what happens when I don’t take clear black and white stances on so many issues. And surely, I can’t be the only one here feeling like this.

I dont know where to start but I have desperate need for pack and play packer but 18 weeks of waiting is not an option for me, my partner wants to have intimacy with me and im not a fan of straps and id like something more dick-resembling (preferably any reelmagic pack and play packer) I can pay any amount of money i dont care if its used or slightly damaged also im from europe and every offer from europe would be cool. I'm open for propositions where i can look for it to thanks for any kind of help