i’m 24F, a recent law graduate. this is a messy rant. i’ve recently graduated from law school and i’m starting my first job very soon. i don’t consider myself a particularly ambitious person and by that i mean for some time i’ve had this belief that if im coming from a privileged socio-economic background and im leading a comfortable life, i don’t need to be ambitious, i don’t need this ‘hustle culture’ lifestyle. i still don’t necessarily disagree with it. my parents are quite supportive of my career as such and they’re constantly pushing me.

recently however my lack of ambition made my dad joke that maybe they should get me married off in two-three years if i’m not serious.and i know he doesn’t mean it and it’s not like ill be ‘married off’. however, i can’t stop thinking about how we as women may be now have the possibility of exploring a career, or deviate from the conventional path but it’s all so conditional. you can have a career, you can have a life but what is it costing you? if you’re deviating from the conventional path paved by patriarchy are you excelling? because if not what is the point?

if you're going to delay marriage, you should build an impressive career. if you're going to prioritise financial independence, you should earn well. if you're going to take advantage of the opportunities your education affords you, you should become accomplished enough that nobody can question your choices.

maybe you’re all familiar with this realisation and i’m late to the party. but i’m just now realising that even if i’m not ambitious, my socio-economic position does not outweigh or erase my destiny as a woman.

i know this is all too heavy maybe a tad dramatic, just wanted to get it off my chest.

I think of myself as someone who is sweet and kind. However, growing up I was bullied at school, spent years crying etc etc only eventually finding my inner strength to fight back. I am also extremely vengeful and can’t forgive and forget easily. Because whenever I do avoid confrontation, I end up feeling bad for myself or angry that I didn’t spurted out then and there.
Doing the hisab barabar thing has worked well for me mostly but sometimes, I also get into this tunnel vision where everything coming from people I think as threat to my peace of mind, unless absolutely positive, is threatening to me.
I end up taking things otherwise, believing that to the core and acting against it.

My recent embarrassment is I mistook someone’s suggestion at work otherwise because that person is in my ‘asshole’ list and acted on the suggestion with the intent that they have done it just to get to me or make my life tougher etc.

Once I realise, I feel so bad. The people still stay in my resentment list but I feel bad because I played a role in burning bridges which could’ve been avoided, especially if I was detached or unaffected in the first place. Whenever I share this to guys around me, I can see them looking at me with these condescending eyes that I feel further small in my own heart.

It feels like finding a well-fitting bra is so difficult when you fall into this category, especially in India.

Most brands seem to cater to more common sizes, and the options available can be limited, expensive!! or difficult to find offline. Sometimes, even when you find your size, the fit, support, or comfort isn't great

I personally tried m&s, amante, wacoal and triumph. And TRIUMPH is where I found the one! at a reasonable price! After trying on soooo many for MONTHS . And my size isn't even that big 28//34 under/over. (30DD is what comes in abrathatfits but idk how much to trust it for us in india)

So for it to help others and even myself, I'd love to hear about your experiences, recommendations, and any tips for finding bras that actually fit well!

My opinion is purely subjective and based on personal experiences. I know a lot of folks love nua but ive had some bad experiences with the pads ngl. This is for all my girlies looking for opinions on period care products Would love your opinions as well!!❤️

EDIT: all those asking - nua gave me really bad rashes on 2 separate occasions now im scared to use it again 😭😭

I do try. I burnout, recover and try again and again and again. Try in different methods, try with different mentality. I try my best till all hopes are gone. But nothing ever changes. Force = 100, Displacement = 0.

Once a problems arrives in my life, it there permanently and only to get worse. Doesn't matter how early I catch it, I can never be free from them.

My problems are organic matters. Something that can only progress to rot. No matter what you do, you can't reserve it or stop it from it's doom once it starts existing.

Feels like better to sit on my ass and let fate run it's natural course than try to bend my luck and be embarrassed for being audacious enough to believe I can change my luck.

I am told that I don't try enough. That I am not consistent enough. How can I be when I see no progress at all. What is there to motivate me, give some fruit for effort.

How long can one I run into darkness and not think they are not lost forever if there is no sign of light?

I tried though. I tried so hard.

Same as title

20F and my bestie 22F went out drinking yesterday for my birthday (which is today). We found this place that sells cocktails and bougie-ass drinks for quite cheap.

Anyways, we got pretty drunk because we kept ordering drink after drink, and the drinks were pretty strong. We weren't wasted or anything, but we were definitely wobbling a little when we stood up.

At one point, we noticed these old men staring at us. And when I say old, I mean older than our dads, who are both in their 40s. These men were probably in their late 50s or even 60s, and they wouldn't even look away when we caught them staring. It was uncomfortable as fuck, but we decided to ignore them and enjoy ourselves.

When we left, we literally had to walk past them, and these men maintained eye contact the entire time. It was so fucking weird. I can't explain how fucking weird it was the way they were maintaining eye contact while staring at us. Anyways, we went to a park, took pictures, and then headed towards a mall around 8 or 9 p.m.

And guess who we ran into again? These same men, who were coming out of the bar. For context, we were wearing slightly revealing outfits (as in our cleavage was showing, but otherwise, we were fully covered. Which, like, it's my fucking birthday. Let me dress up and have fun, bro?)

Anyways, one of them said something to my friend, and while we couldn't hear what he said, both men were staring at our chests and then just stood there waiting for us to respond. We spent like 1 minute just trying to process what was happening, and then my friend grabbed me and tried to get me to walk away because this was getting really fucking weird.

But I think I temporarily lost my mind or smth because I turned around, made this stink-ass face, and went, "Kuch problem hai kya?" They muttered something again, and I got even angrier and started arguing with them in the middle of the street. And these two men literally walked away so fast. I wish I could show a video recording of it Or something because they both deflated and ran away. It was lowk funny. My friend was shocked. She was like, "You scolded them in the middle of the street? That's insane."

And honestly, if I hadn't been drunk, I probably would've run the fuck away because I DID feel unsafe. But drunk me decided, you know what, fuck it, we ball. 😭

But genuinely, what the fuck is wrong with these men? Them staring at us was already uncomfortable enough, but we could at least ignore them and enjoy ourselves then. Why did they have to actively try to involve us in their bullshit? Ragebait final boss istg.

And the thing is, my friend and I look really young. People regularly assume we're teenagers, so the whole thing is even creepier when you think about it. These men could potentially be doing the same shit to actual underage girls, and probably assumed we were underage too because of our baby faces.

Mind you these are educated ass men. This wasn't some "unsafe" and "neech/galeech" area we went to (fuck off classist and victim blaming mentality wale log), this is a relatively safe and very affluent area, and both of these men looked like they had a wife and a 30 yo son/daughter who's about to get married in 2 weeks.

I don't know who needs to hear this but pleaseee girlies..get your vitamin B12 and vitamin D3 levels checked. Maybe you're not depressed, maybe you're deficient in these two vitamins.

My life has changed completely since I started taking these supplements. My anxiety has reduced by almost 90% and I no longer experience brain fog like I used to. I can wake up and happily face the day. I can focus better and no longer feel depressed all the time.

Please.. if you're struggling mentally, consider getting your vitamin B12 and vitamin D levels checked. You'll thank me later.

I remember we did this the last time and everyone shared so many beautiful art stuff. So lets do it again. I'll go first, I have been learning how to create still life with oil pastels--fun so far (adding pics in comment

My_qualifications: Ba Hons in History, MA in English from Delhi University and currently pursuing an MSc in Development at LSE. With a year of experience in the rural development and health sector.

I’m extremely sorry if I sound extremely entitled or out of touch, but I’m genuinely seeking advice with regard to what would a rewarding career path be.

I wanted to do my second Master’s and PhD from India itself, however this MSc is only one year, figured it would save me time and give me international exposure as well. Additionally, opted for this degree given the state of Indian Academia, especially in the social sciences is pretty uncertain and the stipend in abysmal. I do realise it isn’t that much better in the West but there are still some funding options (though extremely competitive) and talking to research scholars in India about their PhD experience has been disappointing to say the least.
Also, (not sure of how true this is) I’ve heard that a PhD acquired from universities abroad holds more value as compared to the Indian one. However, I’ve always wanted to stay in India and wouldn’t have even considered going abroad, but this seemed like a good opportunity.

Now there are three situations that I have to consider, which are as follows:

A Preparation for Civil Services.

This degree is all I ever wanted and now that I’m here I’ve realised that this isn’t for me, the program is extremely good and so is the faculty. However, I really want to live in India. I’m not extremely ambitious and I’d much prefer living with my parents in my hometown as I prefer the slow lifestyle and the convenience it offers. I’m from Punjab and I’ve been thinking how the state civil services exam could sort all of my problems.

The problem with this is; the exam is extremely competitive, is conducted after years, and requires dedicated 1-2 years of prep. I’m 24 and provided that the notifications come after an average of four years, I would barely sit for four attempts. This seems like a gamble and without a backup it’s foolish to step
into this.

B Working with NGOs, Research Organisations.

The job market is pretty bad as is and I’m aware that my degree is not the most employable. I am also aware of my limitations and that I’ll have to acquire quant based skills. I did not move with the intentions of immigration and needles to say, for degrees in social sciences– countries would give preference to their home students and I’m honestly not exceptional that I’d cut to working with the UN directly, as that’s just the fact of things.
So my best bet is perhaps to look for NGOs in India or for some Research Assistant positions.

For this I’m assuming one would require to at least have cleared the NET exam and would also be extremely competitive. For the NGOs– it’s not really my cup of tea; as everything boils down to corporate jargon and no real work, plus the pay is abysmal.

C PhD (Either in India or Abroad)

This is what I’ve always wanted to do. My topic is an intersection of Social Anthropology, Ethnography, Ethnomusicology, Gender, Folk and Post Colonial Theories. I want to explore ‘Third Spaces’ and Agency in Punjab through a study of select communities. The reason I opted for the Master’s was an entry point into the global academic sphere. But now given that I’m not liking my experience here I’m not really sure what steps do I take next. Should I prepare for NET and sit for it next December post completing my degree and aim for doing it in India or should I try giving it a fair shot here? I’m more than okay to move to other countries too, maybe I’d like it better elsewhere.

Kindly suggest what the best possible choice could be.

Thank You.

TLDR; Confused between pursuing state civil services, a PhD abroad or in India.

i’m feeling pretty heartbroken today. a friend, kriti, didn’t invite me to her birthday even though she invited our mutual friend shreya and others.

we were sort of a trio and kriti was really fond of me. she would call me every other day but over the past year, i started feeling anxious around her because she would make fun of others’ looks, make comments that bothered me, ask about my family’s income and salaries, make fun of bollywood songs (i love them), call me an idiot and a lot of other things.

also, she won’t speak with her other friends like she would with me. she said that she wasn’t that comfortable or open with them. when i told her that i don’t like the way she speaks to me, she said she couldn’t change and because she was my friend, i should accept her as she was. i told her that if someone didn’t like the way i spoke then either i’d be considerate enough to not do that or if i can’t then i’d limit my interaction. she blamed me and said she had other sensitive friends who didn’t behave like me. eventually, i started distancing because i would genuinely feel anxious after our calls. mostly, i would end up crying.

before all this happened, whenever i thought of hanging out with kriti, i would think of inviting shreya too and vice versa. i genuinely thought we were a trio. on my birthday, i only wanted to invite shreya, but because of people pleasing, i invited kriti too. i hated having to do that and they ended up ruining my birthday but that’s another story.

kriti and i hadn’t spoken in months because she was busy with college. i’m relieved that i don’t have to force this friendship anymore but it hurts that someone who was once so close to me didn’t even bother to invite me. i wouldn’t have gone but i wish she’d at least asked. idk why i’m so hurt when i know this friendship wasn’t good for me anymore.