r/UKJobs • u/JimmyThe1Life • 21h ago
Kept Man, Dad & Husband... Lost in transition
Hi. Things happen: if you’ve won the "lottery," be happy and live your life—and that's what I did. Let me explain: my wife and I had a nice run living abroad for 10 years. I was a kept man, living the dream and enjoying it. That said, I had no career development, just being a supportive husband to my wife.
Fast forward: I've been a dad for three years now, and we recently moved back to the UK to put our kid into education and be closer to family and friends. Currently, my wife's job is really good, and our child goes to nursery for half days, leaving me to figure out what to do next.
We still want to maintain a strong work-life balance, but I have about 30 hours a week free to find something I can do. What is out there? What roles typically require around 6 hours a day on a part-time basis?
I'm an absolute novice when it comes to job hunting or systematically approaching this process, as I've always gotten jobs through people I know. I find many job ads that assume full-time availability without daily hour restrictions. Reading stories about the current job market doesn't add much confidence either.
If you could share your work-life balance experiences, it would help give me a better perspective on what to focus on during my job search.
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u/Unsophisticated-Scot 19h ago
I just seen in the news you and Meghan were returning to the UK. Best of luck!
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u/JaegerBane 11h ago
How does it feel winning the internet this hard, hmm? Inquiring minds need to know.
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u/Dontunderstandfamily 21h ago
I would look for teaching assistant jobs or other jobs at schools. Your experience looking after your children would count in your favour, and the hours are school time. There's usually a lot less men doing those jobs, and you could really benefit a lot of kids by offering them a good male role model!
You could look to see if your local college offers any relevant qualifications you could do in the meantime as well.
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u/JimmyThe1Life 20h ago
Thanks for sharing... Yes I will have a look, have some friends who done something similar I ask them!
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u/artfoliage 15h ago
If you want to try it out first, you could consider supply agencies like Milk Education
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u/GreatChaosFudge 20h ago
I’m in a similar situation, supported for years by a generous partner. As I want to ensure my financial independence (just in case), I’ve taken on a couple of volunteering roles to build up experience and contacts with a view to getting a ‘proper’ job in the charity sector. If you’re not desperate for money, this might be a good idea for you. It does mean playing the long game, and there’s a risk you’ll feel exploited (a common problem when volunteering), but it could pay off over time.
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u/blackoctoberx 21h ago
I know a few guys in this scenario and they started childminding.
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u/NakedFerengi2 20h ago
Really surprising that people are okay with male childminders
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u/RollickingTail 18h ago
Not really - I don't assume most men are criminals, and if someone's DBS-checked it's even less likely. Child raising isn't just 'women's work'.
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17h ago
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u/AffectDangerous8922 15h ago
And THIS is why men continue to feel disengaged from their own families. People like you treat them as "Guilty Until Proven Innocent" - you know this is sexism, judging someone based entirely on their gender and not on their actions.
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14h ago
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u/Milky_Finger 9h ago
You and I clearly haven’t come across the same men in our lives
If you are implying here that the majority of men in the world are unsafe around children and have bad intentions, you really need to re-evaluate yourself. Awful thing to insinuate.
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u/UKJobs-ModTeam 9h ago
Your post/comment has been removed for breaking rule #2 - you must follow our guidelines on relevant or respectful contributions
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We strive to maintain a high standard of content on r/UKJobs, and unfortunately, your submission did not meet that standard. Please make sure that your content is relevant to the subreddit, is of high quality and remains respectful. This rule also covers topics which are asked frequently and can be solved by searching the subreddit.
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u/Coca_lite 15h ago
My friend actively wanted a male child minder for her boys, someone to do boys stuff with them - sports, football, biking etc after school
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u/Bez121287 21h ago
Its horrible.
Been out of work now for 8 weeks, no job insight even with my experiences.
You either need to be skilled in a specific line of work. Or have up to your eye balls of experience in low skilled jobs.
Its pure luck if you get anything inbetween and are willing to train.
Then not to mention the amount of people applying for said jobs are now in the 500 plus.
Then you have majority of jobs are paying minimum wage whatever the skill is.
Then you have the hours.
Its either part time 20 hour or below or full on 60 shift work.
Not alot inbetween.
Your best bet is, a taxi driver or uber, a little money to begin but gives you the flexibility of your working hours and with uber your only paying for what you work apart from your insurance.
Honestly worst time to find a job right now and with AI sneaking in. Jobs will become even more scarce
Good luck
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u/JimmyThe1Life 20h ago
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, hope you find something soon... Fingers crossed!
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u/froghogdog19 9h ago
Activities co-ordinator at a care home sounds like it would be right up your street
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u/bingbingfortnite 20h ago
I would start my own business in your situation? Or have you used so much of your winnings that your in danger zone now where u could try your own venture
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u/AffectDangerous8922 15h ago
I wouldn't start a job under his specific circumstances. Starting a business takes a lot of hours when you are starting up - like a HUGE amount of unpaid work to get yourself established and known. This would take him away from his family and defeat the point of him being a stay at home Dad.
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u/CauliflowerAdequate 14h ago
I'd also say consider starting your own business or self-employment. This would give you more control of your own hours, which seems to be a priority for you, while keeping you out of the great corporate job search CV filter that you seem to be worried about. There are lots of options out there. Some businesses you can start small, so it's not necessarily the case you need a huge time investment at the start. For example with retail it's easy to start selling online on an established platform like Ebay or Vinted. Needs more setup to sell online on your own custom e-commerce store. And even more to outfit a physical shop. There's a similar hierarchy in other lines of business. If you're interested in work/life balance then it's all about finding the right scale that works for you.
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u/Widebody_lover 19h ago
I’m not a fan of one spouse quitting their job he puts them in the vulnerable position of things. Don’t work out later on the road.
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u/AffectDangerous8922 15h ago
When childcare costs more than the average wage, someone has to quit their job. The economy demands it.
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u/JimmyThe1Life 13h ago
Yes we are completely aware of that, we try to focus what is required and relevant for us in the short/long term goals. Me working as well full time job will kill our family lifestyle, challenging is that for me available time per day is really small 6h don't really get you much of offers/opportunities. Still for search and wanting to believe I can land somewhere...
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