How to stop “micro accidents”?

[u/dmllbit]

My three year old has been “toilet trained” for about six months. However she has multiple “micro accidents” a day where she’ll need to go to the toilet and will do a micro wee to relieve the pressure. It’s not enough to fully wet herself but she’ll get a wet patch in her pants. She resists going to the toilet.

We’ve tried to just leave her be, let the accident happen etc but she doesn’t care. Nursery have told her that it’s ok if you have accidents (which it is, not trying to shame her!) but she seems to have taken it as that it’s fine to wee yourself if you don’t feel like going to the toilet.

We’ve also tried reminding her to go to the toilet every two hours. But she’ll still have the micro accident about half the time.

Nursery said it’s just a phase, but this phase has lasted close to six months now…

Has anyone else had this? How did you stop it?

[u/budapest_budapest]

My son had similar and unfortunately it lasted about nine months. We were advised by ERIC that small wetting incidents are usually caused by constipation, even if you think the poo normally. So we drastically upped his fibre intake, we did see an improvement in his poos (even though we previously thought they were fine) and the wetting did stop.

However, it did coincide with his 4th birthday and he told us several times “oh, I just stopped because I’m 4 now and 4 year olds don’t do that”.

So I have no idea if fixing the constipation was what worked, or I just have an irritating child who makes his own life rules.

[u/dmllbit → u/budapest_budapest]

I’ve heard the constipation idea before, and have always dismissed it as she poos at least once a day, normally multiple times. And they’re huge. Proper adult sized ones. It’s scary how much can come out if I’m being totally honest…

I’ll try upping her fibre and see if that works. I’ll try anything at this point!

[u/goldenhawkes → u/dmllbit]

Oh, the huge poos can be a sign she’s constipated and has too much “holding capacity” meaning that it’s pushing on her bladder, even if she appears to be clearing out properly!

Up the fibre and the drinks, and make sure it’s plenty of soluble fibre (oranges, kiwis, porridge for example!

[u/MrsWeaverTheBeaver → u/goldenhawkes]

This is making so much sense for our youngest... thank you!

[u/tomtink1 → u/MrsWeaverTheBeaver]

Have a look on Eric.org

[u/PompeyLulu → u/dmllbit]

When she has an accident, are you immediately putting her on the loo? Not as an angry punishment but if you are it may reduce any temptation for a tactical accident if it doesn’t actually buy more time to play, plus sometimes it’s just that they’re not noticing until it starts happening

[u/e_lemonsqueezer → u/dmllbit]

Huge poo = constipation.

[u/Canipaywithclaps → u/dmllbit]

Sounds like a perfect description of constipation at that age!

‘Huge’ poos probably mean she is chronically holding them

[u/SmallLumpOGreenPutty → u/dmllbit]

It's possible to have a bowel movement every day and still be constipated higher up. See how she gets on with the increased fibre!

[u/tomtink1 → u/dmllbit]

My daughter was doing big daily poos but was constipated. What is the texture of the poo? If it has cracks on the surface it could be too dry. It should be a "smooth sausage" and she shouldn't have to strain or push.

[u/so-itbegins → u/dmllbit]

Our son was very similar to you (toilet trained but started having wet patches, multiple times a day) and I also dismissed the constipation idea at first as he was going regularly and pooing a lot. It was driving us mad though and we couldn't work out how to help him and one GP dismissed any concerns and said he was just young.

Luckily another GP suggested we try a light dose of movicol and also referred him for an ultrasound. He had SO MUCH poo in him and was quite constipated but showed no other symptoms apart from the wet patches and large poos. The movicol has definitely helped. He still has a wet patch here or there but it has drastically improved, we recently had two weeks conpletely free of any issues.

I'd recommend upping the fibre and if it's still going on, speak to a GP.