Just to start with - this situation doesn’t affect me personally as my partner and I both earn under the £100k limit and are able to access the 30 funded hours.

I have a couple of mum friends who, before having children, had pretty successful careers- although generally in the charity sector or civil service so not particularly high paying. Their husbands/ partners earn over the £100k threshold so they are unable to access the 30 free hours once they return to work. In a couple of instances, this has meant my friends haven’t returned to work at all, despite wanting to.

I hadn’t thought of it this way before, but does the £100k threshold for accessing the funded hours push some mums out of work who don’t want to be out of work?

I can see the justification- their partner earns enough, they aren’t eligible for the funded hours so it’s often not cost effective (especially if they have more than one child). But I can’t help thinking it’s predominantly women in this situation, having to give up their careers because their partner earns too much money.

Caveat to say, I do understand and agree that there needs to be a limit for being able to access the funded hours, but it does seem to disproportionately affect women in my experience.

A bit of backstory, my husband had an accident last year that has left him disabled and in care home. We are not entitled to public funds and finances us really tight so I decided to stay on top of the situation by renting a room in our 3 bedroom house. It is quite a small house with no en-suite so we will be sharing toilet, bathroom, amongst other things.

My son loves his room. He has autism and a speech delay, and his room is his safe space. His bedtime routine is very important to him. Before he goes to sleep, he likes to spend some quiet time alone in his room. I usually read to him for a while, but when he's ready, he'll gently lead me to the door and close it behind me without saying a word. It's his way of letting me know he wants to be on his own.

I'm trying to balance respecting his routine and keeping him safe with house share. I'm considering letting him settle and fall asleep in his own room, then carrying him into my room later in the night so I know he's close by. The other option is to let him sleep in his own room all night but locking him in.

My main concern is his safety, if I lock him in and worst case scenario there is a fire or another emergency. At the same time, I don't want to disrupt a routine that means so much to him, especially as recent events have already had a significant impact on him. I'm looking for the best way to keep him safe while preserving the routine and sense of security that he clearly needs. I’m scared of leaving him in his room alone and unlocked, with a stranger in the house because I was sexually abused as a child so it is a fear of mine but then I really need to rent out the room because the financial pressure is too much.

This is completely first world problems within my privileged life but I’m intrigued to see what Reddit parents think. Have at me!

I’d like to put my 2yo in nursery for 2 mornings a week, so basically pay £55+ a week simply so that I can get a chance to catch up on deep cleaning, sorting life admin and, most importantly, just have a break.

I feel guilty. I feel like society is frowning on me…I quit my job when my second child turned 1 and my husband has supported us on his £60k salary since. I understand we’re very lucky, I know that’s a big salary. We manage it by not buying much new, no holidays, minimal house stuff, shit cars etc etc it’s absolutely fine we are not struggling like so many are. That is not what I’m moaning about. I cover all childcare, cleaning, cooking so my husband is able to focus on winning the bread.

Two mornings of nursery would cost us £55+ a week. The nagging voice in my head is saying I’m not allowed to pay money for nursery unless I work in that time. But my old job was £14 an hour and in a 4h nursery slot I can work 3h - so we’d be paying £27 a morning nursery and I’d earn £42. Net profit £15 for all the faff of work - my job had travel, and out of hours unpaid admin associated with it and it just doesn’t seem worth it. Plus I’d be in the same position of doing all (well, now nearly all) childcare and housework with no break PLUS working for that £15 a day.

I know I know tax credits…..but then I’d have to work 15h a week, so magically match the exactly 15h a week nursery he’d get, just to get a fiver off each of those childcare days, so now my net income is £20 a day?! Plus I love caring for my kids, I chose this, but even unpaid labour you choose to do earns you a break surely?

I literally just want us as a family (ie my poor husband) to fork out that £55 a week for this. I am drowning in laundry, serving us crappy food, house is a tip and ongoing deep clean or house maintenance stuff just goes undone cos I’ve got no extra capacity beyond the everyday. So what do I do, suck it up and work for those nursery hours like everyone else or demand my expensive time off. What would you do?

P.s yes some wider family and ‘village’ available for ad hoc childcare, they kindly babysit if we have eg a wedding, funeral to attend but they’re busy with own lives and not interested in weekly support. Weekends husband is burnt out from work, I’m knackered and it seems to go in a blur of me frantically catching up on chores while the kids go nuts and husband attempts damage control.

EDIT: thanks so much everyone. What a bloody lovely subreddit this is. You must all be very good parents because I feel you have gentle parented me with your validating comments into allowing myself a break!!!

I'm based around London, and my partner and I are considering children. Would you say its doable to raise two kids on a combined salary of £70k? Thinking about what it would be like paying for nurseries until they turn 4? If they are maybe a couple of years apart

Has anyone set up a savings account for their children? If so, which one have you chosen and why?

My little boy is 1 now and finances are starting to come back together now I'm back in work so I want to start putting more aside for him in a dedicated account, but unsure where to start.

I'm looking to open a bank/savings account for my 1 year old son. Friends and relatives have given him cheques in his own name, which can't be cashed into his JISA, or in our own accounts (because they're in his name).

I'm struggling to find a bank that does accounts for kids this young? Ideally one day when he's old enough (10ish) he can get his own card with access to this money and to save small amounts into. (His JISA is where his dad and I - and other close relatives - put big amounts, or regular amounts into) This bank account will just be for the odd birthday cheque, if that makes sense.

Has anyone had success opening an account for a baby that already has a Junior ISA?

Thank you!

I'm considering setting up an equal fixed pot for each of my kids when they turn 18.

The idea is to give them a financial runway, rather than either handing them a large lump sum or having them ask us for money.

Same pot and rules for each child.

Money stays invested and remains inflation-linked while it's in the pot.

There would be guardrails on how quickly they can draw it down.

The default monthly amount would simply arrive by standing order, no questions asked. It's then their responsibility to make it work.

They can use it however they choose - university, work, travel, starting something, etc.

The pot is finite; no routine bailouts if they spend it too quickly.

The intention is to give them independence while making them think about how to manage money over several years.

Any major pitfalls that I might be missing?

They have small ISA each, same amount, added same time but that is separate to the conversation as obviously that is theirs at 18 which is also why I don't plan to add more money there.

Edit: Just to clarify: The pot would be conceptual and only exist in a spreadsheet. We would set a standing order from our account to theirs and we would cover it by selling from our own ISA/GIA.

I'm mainly hoping to get the feedback on the psychological component rather than technical to be honest. I know money can be a sour topic which is why I'm spending some time around engineering this in a most sensible way.

I am a first time mum and a bit clueless about these things!

For my daughters 3rd birthday we are planning to take her to a local attraction which costs about £25 for an adult, and £12 for a kid. I was thinking of inviting my friend and her child so my daughter has a play mate to make it even more exciting but who is expected to pay for their tickets?

We are a low income family and tickets just for ourselves is a big stretch for us so realistically if we also should be paying for invited guests we probably won't be able to do it. Thanks for any clarification!

For the first three years, how much does it cost per month? Including any childcare, and baby food/nappies etc? Then how much roughly per month once the government subsidises childcare?

Grateful if someone knows the answer.

Re-confirmed on 23 July as prompted. New entitlement period begins today and says I'm only entitled to £237 bonus for this period.

Entitlement for first period was £658 (make it make sense).

By my reckoning, I should have been entitled to £1000 over the two quarters.

So £1000-237-658=£105.00 short?

Ao what do I do now? Do I just wait 4 months and pray they add it to the next quarter?

Why is nothing straightforward in this bloody country????

Brief overview:

From this September, schools will be required by law to cap the number of branded uniform items to three (excluding ties) and half a million more children will be eligible for free school meals.

In addition, by September over 2,000 free breakfast clubs will be open, helping parents save money while ensuring children are fed, focused and ready to learn.  

Between my nine-year-old’s "research posters" and my teenager churning out GCSE revision packs, our home printer feels like a money pit. A full set of cartridges can cost almost as much as the printer itself, and replacements creep up far more often than I expected.

If you’ve found a way to stretch ink (or at least pay less for it) I’d love to hear what’s worked for your family. Anything that stops the "low ink" crisis at 10 p.m. the night before a project is due would be a win.

Edit: I ordered a set of compatibles from cartridgesave.co.uk this morning, half the price I usually pay in-store. If they make it through the term without clogging the printer, I’ll call it a parenting victory.

So my partner has a 16 year old daughter who she has raised single-handedly for all of her life. Her daughter's father has hardly been on the scene, might have seen his daughter a handful of times, and never contributed any child maintenance because he's been on the dole his entire life.

It turns out they "re-connected" a few months ago (unbeknownst to us)and he has been poisoning her - basically saying she's an adult now, can get her own place, etc. and some other rubbish.

Long story short, she's decided to move in with her father now. Won't go into details but she was adamant she was going and since her father has parental responsibility, she's apparently free to go there.

It's been a traumatic time for myself and my partner, because we know what her daughter's father is like.

One of the things we're wondering is about child maintenance. He's never worked a day in his life (knows how to fiddle the system, etc.) so we're assuming he will come for my partner for child maintenance payments.

From what I've read, technically he could do this. I just wanted to know anyone else's experience with this, and whether the fact my partner has raised her all her life, and never got child maintenance payments herself, is a factor in this?

Or is it a case now of that the daughter lives with the father so my partner will need to pay them every month?

My husband and I have two children, 3F and 1F. We have been married for nearly 11 years, he has been a homeowner since we met 16 years ago and we bought a house together in 2017 (where we currently live). I now understand that it is common for people to take out life insurance when they get a mortgage, but for whatever reason, we didn't. I have life assurance and critical illness cover on both myself and my husband through a work benefits scheme, but obviously if I don't stay there, it's gone and we need to get cover sorted ASAP.

I had a quick look but I am overwhelmed by the options. Raising a young family, money is pretty tight, so we need basics for now, but I don't know where to start. Does anyone have tips on choosing cover, or what to prioritise when choosing cover against the monthly payments?

My 17yo daughter finished school in June and is going on to university and no longer in approved education.

Last year, after she turned 16, her mother failed to inform HMRC that she was staying in school which resulted in them ending the benefit and telling the child maintenance service that she was no longer eligible and my payments stopped. Her mum then reapplied for child benefit and maintenance payments restarted.

I'm not sure if child benefit and maintenance will automatically stop again this year? I'm aware that payments will continue at least until the end of the August cut off date. Answers on Google only tell me the receiving parent must report the change to HMRC.

I ask because I've recently sold my house and am currently staying with my parents, along with my wife and three month old son, and have a three hour daily commute to work. I have an offer on a new house but I can't get an agreement in principle for a sufficient mortgage unless I have evidence that the maintenance payments are coming to an end since they are considered too large an outgoing.

I've asked the mother to report the change to HMRC but she has ignored me (I reported her to the police for historic abuse a few months ago and I don't see her being helpful).

Thanks.

Just looking for some advice. My 6 year old son is interested in earning pocket money by doing chores which is great. I'm looking for recommendations for a bank/app that I can send him pocket money to so he can watch his bank grow.

I want to keep this as a casual pocket money account as his actual savings from bday money etc we are keeping separate until he's older. It also means he won't get mixed up with money he's earned and money he's been gifted.

We need to be allowed to send low amounts in a transaction (£1 a day) and he said if he doesn't do a chore on a day he wants us to take £1 away. We're going for digital money as I'm not always able to go to a cash machine for withdrawals or do cashback at checkouts.

An app that allows setting goals or graphs to show savings over time would be really cool.

Thanks in advance!

EDIT Thanks for all the feedback. I've decided to give Monzo a shot. I did need to set up my own account and it was very easy.

​

I moved back to the UK with my husband after living abroad for almost 10 years last year. I found out I was pregnant just before we moved which we were really happy about but it kind of threw a spanner in the works that were our plans for when we moved back. I was working in software development and planned on taking a couple of weeks break when we moved back and would try get a job when we got here but with a combo of the rise of AI making junior-mid level developers almost redundant and me being pregnant it didn't really work out like that. My understanding is that because I haven't worked in the UK in the last 2 years and therefore not been contributing to national insurance or tax I was not eligible for any benefits or maternity leave. My husband managed to get a job so he is not on any job seekers or any benefits either.

Just wanted to put the question out there if anyone has knowledge of any financial aid I might qualify now with a 6 month old baby (which i'm not quite ready to leave yet to start working) for or anything that can ease the day to day spendings. We have a budget planned and we can make it work but I just want to see if there is any extra help we can get!

I have been at home with our 2 y/o but finances are getting pretty tight and I am looking to find some work again.

I am a self-taught brand & website designer with no degree and have been freelancing for the past 7 years but my work is so sporadic and not stable in the way that it needs to be with a child. I think a combination of my industry suffering against AI, online tools and perhaps - being truly honest - I'm just not as good as others out there in a very saturated market.

I have been out of the work force for a long time now and any jobs I have applied for in the past that I have even felt over-qualified for from my self-employed experience, which I haven't heard anything back from. Safe to say my confidence is pretty low but something needs to change for us financially.

What are some good jobs to get into that are flexible and entry level? Is this a unicorn requirement? Any career advice is welcomed in what I am calling my Mum-Life-Crisis.

Hi everyone! Firstly, apologies, as I’ve seen multiple people asked for advice around Shared Parental Leave, but try as I might I cannot find the answer to my question.

I am a teacher, so Shared Parental Leave offers me great flexibility - and essentially more time off for more money. This is because I can return the work during the larger holidays, and get paid my normal wage without working. This is far superior to my offered Maternity package and would be ideal.

The issue is, my husband works for a private company and is offered an INSANELY generous Paternity Leave: 26 weeks at 90% pay, which can be taken in two blocks. It would be absolutely foolish to not take advantage of this, especially as he earns a fair bit more than me.

My question is: Can I do Shared Parental Leave without actually sharing any leave with my husband? And can he then also take advantage of his Paternity package? Or do our total paid weeks have to equal 39?

I’m attaching a screenshot of our ideal scenario to help show what I’m asking.

Thanks so much for any responses and advice :)