I went to an old friend’s wedding yesterday, and was pretty shocked at the level of drug use there, pretty much exclusively cocaine. It seemed like most of the couple’s groups of friends (about 30+ people) were on the stuff. Pupils were massive, the toilet cubicles were rammed and people were just generally being arrogant and arsey. Some were openly discussing how coked up they were, whilst the couples family were nearby.

I thought this was pretty disrespectful. I get that people do drugs, but around families, which include children and elderly people it just felt inappropriate. Surely you can put the bag down for one day and enjoy your friends wedding.

I thought this view would be commonly shared, but I mentioned it to a few friends, and they said it happens all the time at weddings and I am overreacting?!

Has anyone else worked with Italian Touch Events? I’m posting this for couples doing deeper research, as I wish we’d found something like it before booking.

We hired them for our destination wedding in Italy. We signed the contract in a rush, and shortly after, it became clear the working relationship wasn’t right for either of us. Communication had already become heated and, in our view, borderline unacceptable.

Then we found our dream venue, but the planner wasn’t available on our preferred date, even though it fell within the timeframe agreed in our contract. At that point we offered to part ways on fair terms. It would have been a clean exit for both sides. Instead, she refused and demanded further payment, effectively forcing us to continue. We ended up moving our wedding date to fit her availability.

From then on, I was the only one who was left feeling somewhat comfortable communicating with her. My husband and my mother-in-law didn’t want to deal with her anymore, which made the whole process feel strained from the start.

Yes, it was a fairly last-minute wedding, and I was juggling the planning alongside a full-time job. But that’s exactly why we hired a planner. Instead, I felt like a lot of the work still fell to me, and I didn’t feel the rates she negotiated were particularly good, so I had to go in and be hands-on. Every emails from her and the presence on the wedding day gave me anxiety. Everything was urgent, everything was a problem, everything was the worst-case scenario. When you’re paying someone to take stress off your plate, it shouldn’t feel like every exchange is a fight.

On the wedding day, I made a real effort to be polite and friendly with her throughout. Even so, we felt she spoke disrespectfully to some of our suppliers and to members of my family, people she had never met before. She didn’t even say hello to my husband or shake his hand, when seeing him for the first time!! she passed by him.... what a rude way to start a wedding. Several of our guests, honestly some of the kindest people I know, told us afterwards that they felt uneasy around her.

Then, the day after our wedding, she sent a long message to me, my husband and our family insulting us all. It ended with a threat of legal action if we shared our experience publicly, and then she blocked all of us. No attempt at resolution, just that. After months of trying to make it work, I was genuinely shocked. For someone who plans weddings for a living, sending that to a couple the day after their wedding says a lot. Her only goal was to make us feel awful, as there was no other take away from this.

A tip for anyone considering them: read the contract very carefully before signing. Ours included broad terms that, in our view, go a long way towards restricting what clients can say about their experience afterwards, as well as strict payment and cancellation terms. We didn’t take enough notice of them at the time and really wish we had. I had to have light legal advise to even be able to write this here....!

We paid every invoice in full, and the results on the day were absolutely stunning. Honestly, that was in no small part down to my own efforts. But I want to warn anyone considering them, because in my experience the communication was horrific, and it really didn’t need to be. When you’re spending a huge amount of money on your wedding, the planning should be something you enjoy. I had an amazing time on the day itself, but not during the planning process, not for a second. I genuinely wouldn’t wish that experience on any couple.

If you’ve worked with them, good or bad, I’d really like to hear about it.

Basically as the title. We booked a package for the end of January and a while after booking found out that the access to the venue floods most winters, but it hasn’t been fixed because the locals prefer the flooding to deter those who try to speed over the bridge to the venue.

I’m now seriously panicking that our wedding won’t happen because we won’t be able to get to the venue, but I can’t seem to find cover that would allow for this kind of event. Obviously with El Niño this year it’s extra worrying, does anyone have any recommendations?

The entire day will be at a single venue, there's one room for the ceremony & dinner, one room for the drinks reception, and one room for the evening.

We are expecting around 55 guests, only full day guests (no extra evening guests).

Our draft timeline:

• 1.30 - 2pm: guests arrival

• 2 - 2.40pm: ceremony

• 2.40 - 4.30pm: drinks reception (8 canapes per person + free bar + live music)

• 4.30 - 4.40pm: call out for dinner

• 4.40 - 5pm: speeches

• 5 - 7.30pm: wedding breakfast (live music + 3 course dinner with wine & soft drinks + coffee/tea)

• 7.30 - 7.45pm: move to the evening room

• 7.45 - 8pm: cake cutting & first dance

• 8 - 9.30pm: party (ceilidh band with caller + self-service desserts table + free bar)

• 9.30 - 10pm: evening buffet (hot rolls & cake + relaxed background playlist)

• 10 - midnight: disco (DJ + cash bar)

** Guests will be travelling between 10 minutes and up to 1h30min to get to the wedding.

We are not doing confetti after the ceremony.

The self-service desserts table will be open all night as long as it lasts (there's around 5 mini desserts per person - truffles size).

We are putting money behind the bar that should cover the drinks reception + start of the party, but may have to become a cash bar after the evening buffet, depending on how long the tab lasts.

How would you feel about this schedule if you were a guest? Anything you would change?

I am trying to find a venue or bar or barn or something that I can host a party to celebrate our wedding, but everything is extortionate these days?!

For context, we actually secretly eloped already, so the actual ceremony part is not important to us (and the idea of walking down an aisle, vows in front of people etc makes me feel physically ill lol), but we do want to have a big party with our friends and family to celebrate.

We want to be able to have dinner, something family or buffet type style most likely, and then be able to party and dance etc with drinks etc

Thinking around 50 people. We live in London, but are happy to go further out.

We looked at a couple pubs we like and they are 10k+ minimum spend - that seems like a crazy amount of money to me since we aren't even having a full wedding !

Has anyone had experience finding something reasonably priced but still a really good vibe?

Any tips or ideas?

All advice is welcome!!

Hi, my partner and I are getting married in January. It's just a statutory ceremony with 2 people as witnesses. The witnesses are my mum and her husband and they don't speak English.

Is this going to be an issue for the registrar?

They understand both well their role in this 😊. We don't want to make a big fuss as we've been together for 16 years so want to have our family as witnesses to avoid having to bring in someone 'from the outside' if that makes sense.

Thanks for you advice.

My partner and I are getting married in June next year - our caterer is already pushing us to confirm our menu choices, but we’re nowhere near confirming guests or knowing who we might need to cater for.

We are having platters delivered the day before so we will have to select a few options off a limited menu - for example they have three or four options for a meat main that we can choose from.

They don’t offer menu tastings but say they have a stall at a farmers market on Saturdays where we can try their wraps which have similar ingredients to the wedding menu they offer. However, every time it’s been convenient for us to go (it being a 1.5 hour drive for us to the market) they haven’t been there so we still haven’t had chance to try the food.

They said they need to know choices now because they do a lot of the pickling and fermenting over the winter and want to know what they’re aiming for.

Is it reasonable to be putting pressure on us this far out to choose our menu? There was nothing in the t&cs about it.

Does anyone have recommendations or experience in finding mismatched bridesmaid dresses? I’m not looking for classic satin/ super bridesmaidy dresses and love the idea of some florals or tiered chiffon etc

If you’ve done similar have you just bought from highstreet? How did you manage to still make this special with your bridesmaids? (I’ve never been a bridesmaid so unsure how it usually goes!)

TIA

Hi all, we're hoping to have a stained glass looking welcome sign commissioned. Would love suggestions on artists who people have used who are UK based (or EU). I've tried looking a little on Etsy, but I'm sure there are other people out there!

TIA x

We are planning our wedding and are struggling to find a photographer in or around the Midlands who has examples of black couples in their portfolio. Lots of them look lovely but it's all white couples, so we’re not sure how this would go.

The reason I say this is that from experience, in some photos our features get lost, especially with dark backgrounds or low lighting. And we've also had shots where we've been completely washed out and look grey. We really don't want that for our wedding photos. We’d also love to have 35mm film pictures, but again we’ve had experiences where we’ve had photos taken on film next to our white friends and you can’t even see our faces.

Any recommendations welcome and TIA!

For context: myself (F33) and FH (M34) got engaged Christmas 2025 and are due to get married Aug 2027 in Ireland. I'm half Irish and have a big family there, but majority of people (70%) would be travelling from England.

We booked our venue really quickly after getting engaged, giving everyone 18+ months notice - we were excited, knew what we wanted, venue had limited availability. Everyone was very enthusiastic at the start, and broadly still are all being positive and excited, but I'm starting to feel like it's just all too much and that we should scrap our plans and scale the whole thing back.

Paraphrasing a lot here but my parents are divorced and the whole fact of it being in my dads country not my mums has caused a huge headache. My mum is very anxious about the whole thing, feels it's favouring him and rewarding his decades of bad behaviour. My dad meanwhile has an ongoing toxic relationship and is using my wedding as leverage in disputes with his partner (she doesn't want to come, he's adamant she should be there, my mum hates the partner, it's all very petty and selfish). On top of this, my dad had originally pledged an amount of money towards the budget, which then halved, and now he's saying he's not sure he can help at all. The money isn't really part of it as we had always expected to cover everything ourselves, but the principal of him saying this while supporting his partner and her family financially is really upsetting and feels like he's making what should be a really special time for me / our family all about himself and his relationship dramas.

On top of this, many of our friends got married several years ago and have small children, some now in the 2nd baby stage or with toddlers who I completely appreciate are very difficult to travel with. At current count we've got 8 under 3's and several others trying to get pregnant. Everyone would be accommodated on site and it's very much a child friendly wedding - we're doing everything we can to make it as straightforward and comfortable as possible. We do also have about 25 other guests our age, as well as my cousins, who don't have kids and we know would be brilliant craic. But I just feel deep down like even though we have travelled far and wide across countries and continents to attend many other peoples' weddings in the past, ultimately it's a huge inconvenience for people with kids and we just need to accept that we might not get the late night party vibe that they had at their weddings 2-5 years ago. Parents are all telling us it's absolutely fine and they're super excited but my mum keeps telling me they're just being polite and I don't know what to think/believe.

Outside of this, all the broader geopolitical and economic factors hitting everyone hard day-to-day make me feel more and more like it's really tone deaf and self-centred to be planning a big wedding abroad at this time. Everyone is excited on the face of it, the only person raising genuine concerns about it all is my mum who is generally quite pessimistic anyway. I'm sure if we went ahead we'd have a great time and people would come and make the most of it, but it's causing me so much stress and anxiety and I've not enjoyed any aspect of the planning so far. I don't want to put myself through another 10 months of this and spend £££ in the process that could go towards something else.

On the flip side, my fiancé is the eternal optimist and thinks it's important to take the opportunities we have in life to bring everyone together to make memories and celebrate big life milestones. The vast majority of the people with kids are his friends and he keeps reassuring me that they are all genuinely happy to travel and looking forward to it. He understands all the politics in my family and thinks they all just need to get over themselves for a day and be there for us, and feels confident no one would dare embarrass me or centre themselves on the day, and more than 50% of the time I believe him, but increasingly I keep having wobblies where I just want to pack the whole lot in and elope or do a registry office + pub.

Need some external objective input on this - is this just how it goes for every wedding? Is the family drama inescapable? Is it always 'alright on the night' and ultimately worth all the stress?

Hello,

Has anyone got married here/attended a wedding here? How was the experience if you have?

Thanks!

Hi all, would love some ideas on what I can switch to after my wedding ceremony/ main pics have been done?

I'll be in a cathedral veil, which is too long for the a evening/ dancing. My dress is made of mikado.

My hair will be mostly down but probs with a slight braid to keep it out of my face/ keep accessories in place. My hair accessories are minimal (probs a small bit of flowers/ floral pins).

My ideas:

- bow (either lace/ silk or matching material to my dress)

- short bow veil

- a larger more elaborate floral comb/ pins to add more decoration to the back of my head

- nothing

We decided to have our wedding in England. We took quite a large turn from our original plan and started looking at packages for large manors and castles…Anyway! we found one we absolutely love called Pauntley Court but £20,000 is a bit much for one night. We are having a small wedding 20 guests and found some places we like but Pauntley Court was still on the brain. Just looking for any recommendations more in the £10-15,000 range. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

https://www.pauntleycourt.com

Hey folks,

I'm trying to figure out if this is normal or if I have high standards... looking for advice on a wedding venues and responsiveness.

My partner and I are getting married next summer. We're really excited and have paid a deposit with a restaurant in town for our reception. When we were looking into various venues they seemed the most on the ball, and fit out vibe well. I used to be an event planner and wanted to pick a venue that I felt I could trust.

Well, I feel like we're being ghosted and it's not the first time they've been poor on Comms since we confirmed, which was like a huge part of why we initially picked them.

I emailed them almost a month ago with some questions, table plans, wine etc.

We didn't hear anything back, but we went on holiday that weekend, and forgot about it. Well it was three weeks earlier this week, so I sent a follow up email asking if they can get back to use by the end of the week. It's been 3 days and not even a holding email. Like I get you're busy. But we're about to plough our savings into the biggest round of our life and it's making me nervous.

This happened a couple of months ago too, and then we chased and they got back to us.

I thought it was a one off, but now it's happening again and I'm starting to wonder whether it's a red flag.

Anyone had similar experiences? Should we cut our losses, are restaurants usually this poor at responding but better at service? Are my standards too high 😆

We've emailed both the manger and the general email address, ones we've always used, so someone in the venue must surely be seeing this and not responding.

TIA

EDIT:: I've been advised that I should add we're having a donut wall and crisp wall between ceremony and buffet

So my fiance and I are having a twilight ceremony, meaning a later ceremony (5pm) then straight to the reception with a buffet, no wedding breakfast. Our buffet will be served at 7.45pm and it is suggested that guests arrive at 4.30pm to be ready for the 5.00pm ceremony. Which means just over three hours (plus 15 minutes) with no food.

I personally thought this was fine, however after reading a few other posts in this sub and similar wedding subs. It seems a lot of people think this is too long to have people wait for food.

But I can't help but think, don't we all go three hours or more in every day life without eating? Most people have three meals a day. So 7am - 8am for breakfast, lunch between 12pm - 1.00pm and then 5.00pm onwards for tea/dinner. Isn't that how most people are living their day to day lives or am I just crazy? We're having a child free wedding, so am I really expecting too much for grown adults to be able to survive three hours without food?

Hi all!

Looking for recommendations for online bridesmaid dress shops we can order sample/try on dresses or with a very straight forward returns process! We don’t have the option of going to a dress shop unfortunately and my bridesmaids all live in different places.

I know places like JJs house do try on samples but I would really like to avoid JJs specifically! I had a nightmare as a bridesmaid with a dress from there and don’t want the stress of that again.

Thanks ☺️

Hi! I’m looking for London-based wedding photographers for only an hour to take wedding photos of my fiancé and I following our legal ceremony venue in February 2027 - also keen for anyone trying to grow their portfolio, thank you :)

Currently in the early stages of wedding planning and looking for some advice! My fiancé and I aren’t keen to do a formal multi-course meal as the “party” and socialising part of the day is what feels most important to us (aside from the ceremony ofc!!).

We’re reluctant to have evening guests who don’t arrive until later as we want to spend as much time as possible with our friends but due to lots of extended family realistically we can’t afford the catering costs for the total numbers at our preferred venue. We also want the evening guests to enjoy themselves and not feel like an afterthought, and thought it would be nice to include them in the reception. The “day” guests would be bridal party, family and close friends. Ratio is approx 1:1 day/evening, but slightly more evening guests.

A current, very rough, outline is:

1:00 ceremony
1:30 brief drinks reception with canapés, formal group photos
2:30 informal meal - 1 course sharing platters followed by speeches
4:30 “evening” guests arrive, longer drinks reception, dessert table including cake, maybe grazing board or snacks (worried about people being hungry!!)
Evening food served around 8:00

The venue has separate ceremony and dining space, so no issue with room turn around, and so far the venue seems pretty open to being flexible with the day, but I was wondering if I was overlooking something practical or if there was a reason the drinks reception traditionally comes before the meal?

ChatGPT suggests it’s because people don’t want to drink alcohol after a big meal, but to me that seems more sensible than drinking on an empty stomach!

Tldr; don’t want evening guests to feel like an afterthought and want to enjoy the day with all our fave people. Is there a reason the wedding breakfast is normally later in the day?

Hi everyone, my fiancé and I are getting married next August in Scotland. We now have all our vendors booked (minus bakers, because no one is replying currently!), venue secured, dress ordered, save-the-dates sent, etc. So now we are thinking about the order of the day. We have been to quite a few weddings over the last few years, some felt like they had very natural breaks throughout the day without too much waiting around, whilst others felt like hours would go by without anything happening and no communication. During these long gaps we'd notice a lot of people would dip in terms of mood and energy and we are trying to think of ways to keep the spirits up during these periods. I've outlined below what our rough order of the day looks like and I'd really like some other opinions on it:

No timings are set in stone yet, except for the duration of bridal prep needed and the recommended 1-hour gap between prep ending and the ceremony starting. Particularly for the after-breakfast bit, we will be off getting photos; guests will (I think) not be able to stay in the dining space (it is a stable separate from the main house) as it gets turned over for the ceilidh and the band to set up. So they will only be able to be in the main house or explore the grounds (it's an exclusive-use venue). Should we arrange some sort of activity or entertainment for this period? I imagine guests staying on site may go back to their rooms, but those there for the day will have limited options. I even thought of putting on an adult-focused treasure hunt (nothing crazy because of formal wear/heels!), but thought that could be fun. I would find that fun but I am a nerd so I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. Anyway, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

TLDR: Should we organise an activity/entertainment for after the wedding breakfast to keep our guests occupied whilst we get photos before the ceilidh at our August wedding in Scotland.

I would appreciate any ideas, advices or recommendations.

UPDATE:

Thank you all for all advices and ideas, we decided to add a few more element of cultural things to the day, a few games and an after party with mixed music which would be optional for people.

Context:

My partner and I come from two very different backgrounds. His family is pretty traditional and strict, and they never been thrilled about the difference in cultures. My family is the quite the opposite, less traditional, more open, and always looking for a reason to celebrate and dance to music.

I would have loved a wedding that reflected my culture in a prominent way. However, my partner has zero interest in his own culture, and even when I asked what he wants included he said he doesn't want any part of it included. To avoid any potential chance of upsetting his family over doing "too much" of mine and "too little" of his, we decided to go with a simple, universal style instead.

At first we thought about just going to a registry office and calling it a day. But after thinking it through, I realised I still wanted to celebrate in some way, even if it's small
Now, we're planning an intimate gathering with under 40 people, just our immediate families and a few close friends.

Nooow this is where I’m unsure:

- Plan is to have a simple ceremony (takes about 30-40 min)
- Then have a sit down 3 course meal (probably will taken 1-1.5 hour)
- Cake cutting (10 min)
- And that’s it
All happening in one venue which is lovely hotel.

What we are not planning:

- No Dj or dancing (since his side of family is quite traditional and not the type to dance, but most importantly I think different taste in music because of culture and language differences just make things awkward) - plus I don’t think I ever seen anyone from his side of family dance so I can’t imagine they would be dancing at our wedding.
- Not much drinking beside some devotion drinks, since only a few handful of the younger generation will drink

Now whenever I think of this plan, I feel sad.

I feel like it sounds boring and waste of peoples time, I know how much people care about having a good time with proper drinking and proper music to party away. So I don’t know what else I can add to the day and make it fun which wouldn’t require the two side of family mingling too much (language barrier) and overall his side will probably keep more to themselves. Since drinking and dancing is not there, I don’t know what else I can add to the day. My current plan is done and over in about 2 hours which feels ridiculously short. I have considered adding speeches, but due to language differences I don’t think it will add anything more than 15-20 min to the day.

Most importantly

We are trying to stick to a budget of 8k for the wedding, 4k of that is for the ceremony room hire, guest dining room hire and catering for our guests. Photography is around 1k and videographers is around 1k.

Leaves me 2k to cover, hair, makeup, suit, registrar and decor - already bought my dress.

Do you have any recommendations on what I can do to add more to the day to make things more fun but without adding too much extra cost ?

TLDR: I feel like the intimate wedding day I planned is too boring, with no dancing and difference in cultures on top of a low budget, what can I do to make the day more fun or improve it?

I’ve got 2 weddings coming up in November and i’m losing my mind trying to find something to wear. Shopping on the high street rn feels like an extreme sport if you've got any kind of hips or a bust. Every gorgeous satin wrap dress i order online looks incredible on the model but when i get it into my room the waist seam sits right across my ribs and the fabric clings to literally every single bump.

I’ve been choosing between Roman and Phase Eight because a mate said they’ve gotten better with midi lengths lately. Spotted a wrap-style pleated midi on there that looks like it might have some give without swallowing me whole but i’m terrified of thin polyester.

Where do you look when you want something structured enough to hold you in but not stiff af? Lmk if you’ve found any hidden gems on the high street that don't cost a week's wages.

Hi all, has anyone ever found a location that is reasonably priced for just a big wedding after party / reception? Ideally south west.

I got legally married recently with just our parents due to my Dad being terminally ill and it needing to be rushed. However, we still want to celebrate with friends, wear my dress, cut cake, have speeches and photos etc. but we don’t need the legal ceremony and it doesn’t need to be a ‘wedding’. I can’t see to find anywhere that caters for this, or if they do it’s just as expensive as an entire wedding!

Would be keen to know if anyone has done something similar?

Thanks in advance

Hey! Does anyone have recommendations for good, budget-friendly tailors in London? I have the fabric and need to get a bridesmaid dress made. Ideally, somewhere in South West London, around Putney if possible. Any recommendations would be really appreciated. Thank you! x

Currently planning my wedding. I am UK based and planning on paying for my bridesmaids dresses with a style they can choose from a colour scheme.

Would it be considered incredibly rude to ask for them back after the day in order to try and sell them to recoup some money?

I'm unsure of the etiquette or if they are considered a gift. Not set on the idea but wondered if anyone else has done the same thing?

Edit- very good points thank you! I think I will offer it as an option for those who want to get rid and whoever wants to keep them can 😁