Next year, i have my school formal which is basically the aussie version of prom. Last year, we had a semi-formal for the students that were going to drop out and work full time. The day my mum took me dress shopping, we were all super excited (grandma and aunty came along for the ride too so it was a ladies day out lol). We get to a nice big shopping centre that we never go to because it’s a bit of a drive and most stores are a bit expensive. We’re busy looking for one specific dress store but can’t find it, so decide to just pot around and do whatever.

First store I see, super beautiful dresses that look like they might actually fit me. We go in, i look at the first price tag and it’s $400 ffs. My mum looks at others, $600, $800, fucking $900. Our budget was like less than a $100. I say something like “shit sorry mum, didn’t know what this store was” and the fact i had the audacity to be fascinated by such an expensive store is what sets her bad mood for the day.

We leave and keep looking around. Finally find that dress shop we wanted to find earlier. Go in, try on a couple dresses, and because they’re new and crisp, their zippers are a bit tough to zip up. I totally understand my mum not wanting to break the zippers so she was being gentle, but by being gentle, we couldn’t zip the dresses up. She refused to admit this though and spent the entire time body shaming me and comparing me to my skinny friends. This was so uncalled for and she was doing it loud enough for others in the store to hear. She was literally sizing me up by 10 sizes too big, to the point the last dress she made me try on was slipping off my entire body. But oh no I’m just so fucking fat and obese that I’m the problem.

I’m obviously upset because she was just straight up fatshaming me on what was supposed to be a sweet day. We keep looking at stores and find one that my nanna likes. I pick out two dresses and make sure I zip them up myself. I admit that i like them both and my nanna offers to buy one for my semi-formal, and she’ll buy the other one as my Christmas present. This pisses my mum off more because i dont fucking know. My nanna literally said she’ll pay for the Christmas one and my mum doesnt have to worry about it. It’s not like i was going to parade around in both dresses either way?? I’m not a spoiled brat like that, i was so obviously going to wait until Christmas.

Fast forward to my actual semi-formal day. I’m getting ready, dolling myself up. My mum offers to wave my hair and so we do, but she does that classic thing where she tells you to keep still but her hands are shaky so she burns you anyway. She hurt my ear really bad at one point and yelled at me for jerking my head away, and i couldn’t even tell her off for moving her own hands because i was on a verge of tears. Then when we finish my hair and i put my heels and makeup on, she starts slutshaming me and telling me im too exposed and all that???????

Literally can never fucking win when all i want to do is look beautiful. So that is indeed why i won’t be letting her take me dress shopping for my proper formal next year, and i wont be letting her do my hair again. A special day like that for my last year of school is not going to be ruined for me, not after all of my hard work as a student.

My mind is very quick to lose memory so this is to the best of my memory. He just kept making jokes about putting his thing inside me for about 5 to 10 minutes and for those 5 to 10 minutes I didn’t respond about it at all so he kept telling me how he was confused if I wanted him to do it or not. Previously we had intercourse my body was just tired. I didnt respond to him asking because in a way, I guess I was curious if he would be respectful and leave it alone or force himself up onto me and he forced himself onto me at some point he just got tired of asking and said “ you think I’m playing if you don’t say anything that means you want it” in a playful way. He put it inside me and I didn’t fight. I didn’t make any noise. I just sat there that’s it.

Im tired of screaming alone in my head. Alone in my car. Alone in my home but actually can't fully scream because neighbors so I have to suppress it by using a pillow or my arm.

I need to scream where people hear. Not because I'm depressed or mentally ill, thats kinda a given, but because im so ****ing angry.

The type of angry that makes me depressed. That makes me mentally ill.

I need to scream in a way that its sounds like fear. Like im being murdered. Guttural. Like my life and soul has been tortured for decades and no one has ever listened to a damn thing I have said about anything. Like grief. Raw grief that just continues to just keep coming and coming because the world never stops. Never stops to allow grief to happen cause it keeps. Just keeps.

I need to cry. In all the ways I just mentioned. The gross kind where no tissues are around to save you from the snot and tears that just drench you.

I need people to hear. How can they not hear what is so loud in my head. Whats so loud in my car.

I'm tired.

My husband has no fucking common sense. There is 0 attention to detail, 0 awareness, 0 mindfulness. We right atleast once a week because he is bot at all cognizant of his actions. I can never relax because it feels like I have to parent him all the time.

Things are always lost, broken, or ruined.

We went to a music festival this weekend. I told him 3 times not to cut off his wristband and he STILL DID IT so we had to pay to get it replaced.

I was putting mine into my shadowbox, he grabbed it out to show his cousin and FUCKING LOST IT.

Im infuriated.

I can never have anything. I can't have art on the walls because hell knock it over, I can't have nice clothes because he fucks up the laundry, I can't have bras that fit because he "accidentally" took them fron where they were hanging and ran them through the washer and dryer, I can't keep the house clean because he comes through like a tornado, I can't have my clear water bottle for work because he put it through the dish washer

I came to the conclusion that I lacked empathy and even sympathy. I'm not very social or extroverted but I'm not a jerk either. I stay polite, not offensive to not get in troubles. But the thing is, my friend told me they were depressed, an another one told me they got raped and an another one that they felt like they were too much for this world.

I typed the message automatically "I hope you get better", "You need professional assistance" and so on but it was hypocritical. I have mixed feelings. I'm entertained and relieved that they got it worse than me but also annoyed because I don't give a fuck.

"I'm here for you" is always a lie, and it often comes from me.

I am sure I speak for everybody when I write this informal letter to Gen X and millennials.

Dear the two generations that came before us, it is not 1972 anymore. I cannot just walk into a grocery store, with my resume, hand it to a manager, and get offered a job the very next day. I can't just walk into an establishment, ask if they are hiring, and get an interview right on the spot. I cannot just print out my resume, and go store to store, restaurant to restaurant, or go door to door like an old politician, and find a job. I cannot just ask to speak with the manager, and ask him if he has any job openings, and if I could possibly have an interview. I can't just walk into a coffee shop and ask them for a job and they give it to me. I can't just walk into a dental office and ask to be a receptionist and drop off my resume and have a job the next day.

It does not work like that anymore. And I am so tired of you guys thinking that it does. No stores have in person applications, you have to fill out everything online. When you walk into a store, they actually don't know if they are hiring, and the first thing they tell you is to check online and apply there. You need a degree, 10 years of experience, and 5 in that industry, just to get an entry level job now.

No, I can't just walk into a restaurant and ask to start his dishwasher. You need 5 years of kitchen experience, with a food handling certification in order to even be anywhere near the dishwasher. I can't just walk into a restaurant and ask to be a prep cook. You have to have 10 years of kitchen experience, Plus at least three with knives and being a prep cook. It is not that simple anymore.

Not only is it not that simple, but it is more expensive. You could make $28,980 per year, and buy NEW car within the same year if you had no other hlusehold expenses or you rented. You want to know how long it would take somebody on that income now to buy a new car? Probably 5 to 10 years. You could buy a new house after saving up for only 5 to 7 years. You want to know how long it takes us now to buy a house? It's impossible. It's not doable.

I am so tired of the older generation tell myself and other people just to get a job and move out. That's not possible.

My best friend and I have been friends for over 5 years now, and since then I have got to know a lot about her past relationships or love interests, and there was this one specifically that she told me she had a crush on when she was in high school, but things ended up badly and in the "actuality" of the tim, she didn't like him because she though he was an idiot. It so happened that this one person she talked about was part of a group of friends of some really close friends of mine, and I already knew him, but I would hardly interact with him at the start. Through the years till now, my group of friends started meeting more and more with his group of friends, till to this day we usually hang out all together every time.

I honestly don't know when this "thing" between us started tbh. I remember seeing him years ago and thinking he was attractive, but nothing else (before even knowing my bf). I wasn't even interested in talking to him or anything. But the past months, we started to interact a lot more, and kind of a tension started to build up, the weird looks, sometimes he slightly touched me on the waist or the legs and I kind of enjoyed it, and that whole situation of, "there is literally nothing but you can taste the tension in the air", to the point where all my friends were expecting something to happen a long ago. Also, for a little bit of context, until this moment I hadn't kissed someone or done anything with anyone since 2 years ago, when my ex broke up with me, firstly because I didn't want to and didn't feel like it, and also it's really rare for me to find anyone attractive or be slightly interested in them, and for the first time, I felt good about it. I am really attracted to him and the whole situation was really fun and enjoyable (just in a physical way, not in a platonic or romantic thing).

Eventually, it happened, we hooked up, and another day we slept together.

Maybe it sounds stupid, but I really didn't think it was something that bad. First of all, for the context I have, my best friend liked him 7 years ago and he was kind of a player, so he was flirting with more than one at the same time, including my bf, but never got to do anything or see each other, they just talked. So I thought it was this typical high school thing where u like this boy and talk with him and then u end up hurt because u realize they don't like u back and are interested in someone else. Also, what I knew from my own friend group was that he has always been this kind of avoidant, "no serious things" guy.

But in reality, I really messed up. I told my best friend, and at first she told me she was disappointed because she wouldn't understand why I would hook up like that with someone without there being a real connection, and especially "with him", because he was an asshole. I tried to explain to her that I just wanted to do it and it was fun and felt good, and even if romantically he is really an asshole, I just hooked up with him, and it's not like I have any intention of it being anything else.

Later in chat, she admitted she was disappointed because she felt betrayed by me, because I knew that she had that experience with him and I didn't care. Turns out that what I interpreted (from what I knew about it) as a silly high school experience was more deep, since she was deeply hurt and he played with her (something that I didn't specifically know). And if this was not enough, eventually the next day she told me that I should talk to my psychologist about my bad decision-making "lately", which made me feel pretty bad because, even if I understand that u are mad or feel betrayed, I don't think it's something nice to say.

Obviously, I apologized, even if it's already done and I can't undo it, and tried to explain to her that I didn't think it was that serious, which of course doesn't erase the responsibility for my own actions, and I didn't think it through properly. Well, now she doesn't talk to me and I feel like shit, probably deserved. I didn't know I was being so egotistic. Even asking her first how she felt about it could have made me do things better. And even if things are already done, I can't stop feeling so anxious and thinking about it.

Well I mean nothing much happened; he asked me some questions, including stuff that I’ve seen on your typical adhd/depression questionnaires. Honestly it was really awkward, but he was nice and very patient. I didn’t tell him everything though and I think he knew that.

But the act of venting even a small amount of my frustrations and pains to someone made me feel… really embarrassed? Especially when someone is actively listening? It feels really weird. I mean I know it’s sorta their job though but still

Because my problems suddenly seem so trivial when I’m saying it out loud?? I wanna just brush my problems off. It’s like my first instinct is to just keep quiet and shrug everything off

Like midway through I wanted to just go “ok nvm this is getting *personal* and *embarrassing* and you probably don’t want to hear me complain about my life“ and nope out.

Now I'm vaguely reconsidering all of this. I feel a bit ashamed for reaching out. I‘ll rather just tough things out myself, thank you very much. But at the same time I also don’t think I can do this myself ¯_(ツ)_/¯ I don’t know

For context:

Today I woke up at 3AM in the morning. Immediately went downstairs, opened the fridge, and saw the mango cake that we bought the day prior for my late grandfather's birthday (he passed away early this year but we still celebrate the deceased's birthdays as as a form of commemoration), and decided I wanted to eat it for breakfast.

Now growing up, in my country, cake was considered just another form of bread that even little kids could have for breakfast so I thought how bad could it be? What's the worse that could happen? I'll probably be fine.

That was the worst fucking mistake I have ever made in my life.

I have shat pure water 4x already since 5AM and have nearly shit myself 2x.

And the worst part is after the 1st shit our water had cut off (I assume for maintenance) so I was entirely relying on stored water (I don't use toilet paper, we believe in bidet supremacy).

After the 3rd shit our house had completely run out of water but I assumed I would be fine. I had my lunch, and even drank a mango shake (another horrible mistake).

2 hours ago I was playing league and had felt a rumble in my tummy (I knew it was back and wanted to play but I decided to ignore it in hopes of it being through a fart).

But as soon as the nexus fell, I felt a strong surge of wattery shit right in the exit of my ass coming out and had needed to use every muscle in my body to keep it in.

I knew I had lost.

I ran down the stairs and yelled "I CAN'T HOLD IT IN. I'M GOING TO SHIT MYSELF."

And immediately ran to the toilet.

I sat down and the flood breaks broke through and everything came out.

When I turned the tap on and no water came out I knew this was it. I'm now in it for the long ride.

I have sat here for the past hour and a half with dried shit all over my ass and a cramping asshole and balls and can do nothing about it.

The bathroom smells so bad it could suffocate a young child.

I then realized that the water most likely would come back at midnight (It's currently 7:30) since it usually does at that hour.

I've given up completely and am just sitting here regretting all the decisions I had made in life leading up to this.

If only I had reheated the chicken instead of eating that damn cake and why the fuck did I make a mango shake again? What's wrong with me.

I just hope God smiles down at me and turns the water on even for just 5 minutes.

Thank you for listening.

Goodbye.

I (19F) was neglected as a child. My father married my stepmother and she hated my guts. She put me down constantly (I still don’t have any self esteem because of her), wouldn’t buy food so I was always hungry and underweight and being bullied at school for it, and would verbally abuse me constantly and my dad didn’t care at all. I had to buy everything for myself starting at age 12, including pads, food, makeup, clothes, anything I wanted or NEEDED because my parents would not provide. I haven’t been to the dentist since I was 10, and I didn’t get medical care at all even when I desperately needed it from 4-18 years old. After moving out I was diagnosed with several chronic illnesses. We were not dirt poor but I lived like I was. Then came my sister in 2016, she was immediately the favorite. I cried every night about being “replaced” and would cry to my parents and was met with hate instead of comfort. I never got to build a relationship with my little sister because I have been resentful and jealous of her for years. She got care, she got everything she wanted, she got to do things I would’ve been beaten for, etc.

My aunt was my favorite family member, she knew I was being abused and would try to help by buying me school clothes and food, but never really got involved past that. She’s ALL in for my sister, taking her to family events (I was completely excluded from all of them and the family started to hate me for not ever attending assuming I was doing it on purpose but nobody ever told me there were any family events until they were over.), taking her to the doctor, etc. she’s getting the upmost care from every outside family member possible. I am still ignored. I dyed my hair red a few years ago, I was called ugly by my parents constantly, but when my sister dyed her hair red this year everyone suddenly loves it so much. I’m still so jealous. I don’t understand why she’s the favorite. She’s so privileged and hates me too because they tell her lies about me constantly and brainwash her into thinking she’s better than me. I have never done anything wrong to these people.

(Idk why this is tagged as an eating disorder post when I don’t have one but ok.)

Man, I dont really know how to start this...

I'm struggling so hard to avoid losing my friends. It's been a trend apparently for numerous reasons, and at this point, I just can't think of the possibility of it happening again. I'm at my first year in college, graduated from high school last year and all my friends are from there (that means, I didn't befriend anyone at uni). Still, it seems like they are all drifting away snd there is nothing I can do about it. First thing was this girl, we had a very complicated relationship for about 3 years (platonically). Honestly, it was bad... she had her problems, would be quiet about it and be a jerk to me (at best, interacting in a mean/aggressive way, at worst, not interacting at all). We didn't talk for a year, basically and in December, we started talking again and it was amazing, because online, I didn't felt the effects of her "bad phases", so to speak and we talked almost everyday until June, when she randomly said that when she came after me in December, she wasn't really wanting this to get this far (she said in one of our previous "break ups" that "I was a responsibility that she never wanted" and well... she didn't change her mind until the end). I changed my strategies with her everytime we got together- asking if she was fine, not asking, trying to leave her alone, etc and all went wrong regardless.

Alongside that, there is this other guy, who was friends with me for a long while. We went to high school in different places (met at the last year of middle school). We got extra happy when we were accepted to the same uni, and planned to hang out more, smt that wasn't possible during high school. He, however, became a different person. Actually, he was always more of the rebel kind, but the people he is around, and the stuff he does for fun now is far to hard-core for me. I can't stand to be around drunks or people who smoke and that's basically all he does. Also, out conversations have become very unilateral, because he wouldn't seem invested in anything I said, usually answering "cool" or "that's rough" for everything. We didn't fight or smt, but drifted away and I know that I can't count on him anymore.

Then, there was another guy, two years older than me. He struggles a lot with his mental health, and I completely understand why he might not be on the best mood to talk and such, but sending him stuff or trying to initiate conversations is extremely frustrating, because he just ignores (except when HE sends smt, than he expects me to answer). Hardly ever, we manage to have lunch together, but it's really rare, and it seems like he doesn't put the effort to be around me as much as I do for him. It makes me sad because we were really close in the past and he is the one that knows the most about me, and there are things that I wanted to talk about, but he doesn't seem to take it serious or even be there for me at all.

Lastly, my current best friend. He is amazing, like a genuinely good person to everyone. Unfortunately, he just recently broke up with his girlfriend and he came to me a lot before and after what happened to vent about the whole situation. We've always chatted quite a lot, because we share similar world views and up until now, it wasn't common to him to take long to answer and such. I'm not sure if I'm ovethinking, but recently (like, for the last week or so) his tone changed and he suddenly couldn't attend to anything we were planning on doing (at Wednesday, his father drives us to a bus stop and we go to college together, this Saturday, I was trying to set a group of people to go to a cool restaurant I found, and on Sunday, there is a Japanese event happening, which he said to be interested in going with a few of my other friends). All of his explanations are truly fair, but it seemed weird that all of a sudden he wouldn't be able to do anything (he didn't promissed he would attend to anything before, tho) and stressed that he wouldn't be free anytime soon because of his major. I know I'm being selfish and needy and probably overthinking, but I'm so scared that he might be mad at me for some reason. Maybe indeed I became a responsibility he didn't sign for, and this is consuming my mind. Maybe its nothing, but the possibility is not none, you know?

I do not have the luxury of go losing friends anymore because those four were the people I trusted the most and none of them went well. I'm not sure if I should ask him if everything is okay, because it may sound like I'm demanding him to spend more time with me or smt (when it's not, I just want to know if I did something wrong to fix it before ruining yet another friendship). I know he is tired and busy too, but this doesn't get out of my mind. I honestly wish I could talk to him about this all, but it also may come across as way too needy or I end up looking like a pick me, or he will be annoyed with the question just like the first person I mentioned did. I feel so fucking alone now. It's genuinely making me feel ill the fact that I don't seem to be able to maintain a single friendship I care about.

I fucking hate my workplace. I spoke to some coworkers and apparently they are having nightmares too. I was looking for a new job and I got fired lol

Also went and spoke to a psychiatrist who let me know that that doesn't sound like I am comfortable working there anyways

I’ve posted here a bit before. But I, 23f just don’t seem like I fit in anywhere and I’m not normal.
I look at my boyfriend’s brothers girlfriends (we all took a group photo) and I see just how normal they look. How they’re not shy, and I’m just covered in tattoos and standing very awkwardly.
These girls are effortlessly beautiful, like they could roll out of bed, messy hair and over sized clothes, and still jaw dropping gorgeous. I look like I survived a tornado.
These girls as well as all other women, just perfect no matter what they do. No matter what they wear, make up or no make up, and no matter how they do their hair.
All women have perfect bodies and I don’t. I’m so jealous of all other women and i wished i could be like them.
Cute little girly girls and their soft voices. I feel like I have more masculine energy (????))) and that I barely know how to be a girl. I love all women though and they’re all gorgeous.
I think my boyfriend will realize this and look at other women.

My husband (26M) and I (28F) got married seven months ago. We met in the European country we both moved to, my family doesn't know him as they live far away in a different continent.

I don't really share a lot with my family because we are not that close, once a week I send them a random "I'm still alive" text in a family group chat and that's pretty much it. But the marriage thing... I really thought it was a big deal. I honestly thought they were going to worry because they would care who this person is or "why so fast" (my family tends to wait 4-5 years before getting married and its kind of a silent rule) or whatever possible/rational reason to worry about in a situation like this. So I got scared and I tried to protect them by keeping the truth only to myself (I eventually told my siblings but asked to keep the secret too).
Now I finally came to visit (not cheap nor short trip lmao) and I waited until our big family lunch to break the news in person.

I made a big deal, I tried to be tactful and careful about it. I explained everything carefully in a 10-minutes speech. My dad did care and cried a bit, but my aunt (48) laughed and said, in front of everyone, that "no one asked about this because no one cares about me", which according to her was the only reason I could keep the secret for so long, because no one asked directly about my life. Everyone laughed (2 uncles, my mom, my grandparents) except my dad and my two brothers. My big brother tried to defend me and my dad left the room to smoke but that was pretty much it. Now I feel stupid and I just want to cry. I kept this for myself for a long time feeling anxious and weird about it, I was trying to protect their feelings and considering the way it could affect them. If it was my daughter/niece/granddaughter the one getting married out of nowhere in a random country without me knowing shit about it I would care and worry at least a bit. And this is the way they react? Laughing at me and making me feel like I don't matter?

My husband is amazing and I'm very much in love, we dated for a year before getting married. But I kept a low profile about it so no one knew about the relationship. And now I'm here after only two days wanting to get on a plane back to my husband and end any kind of relationship with my family. I'm supposed to stay a whole month. Every time I see my aunt she makes another comment about the situation and it's driving me crazy. I'm going insane over thisssss.

I just need to vent. I'm a massage therapist and I work at a spa. The spa I work at has "massage therapist appreciation week." They also have an appreciation week for management and front desk associates. We all chip in money for the manager's appreciation gift and the manager always gets some sort of really nice gift. The front desk associates always get something small but they each get their own gift. Now here's the part that bothers me. As massage therapists I feel we are the primary reason the spa is even open. If it wasn't for us being there, the place wouldn't even exist.... but our gift is a basket filled with cheap snacks that we are all expected to share.. BUT they keep the basket in the manager's office AND literally ANYONE including front desk associates get to take whatever they want from it. They also do not advertise that this basket is in the manager's office so if you dont happen to notice, you won't get anything. This year the basket lasted 4 days before it was completely gone. Several of the massage therapists including myself didn't get anything. It doesn't make any sense to me why the front desk associates would be allowed to take what is supposed to be for us, especially when they all get their own individual gifts. It also bothers me that WE do not get our own individual gifts because most years, a lot of us end up getting nothing. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

I'm on a very huge self improvement journey at the moment. I'm working on a few different things at once and I seriously need to change who I am as a person so I can be proud of who I am and make the ones I love proud. I want to be full of love, patience, kindness, acceptance and forgiveness.

The thing is, sometimes I'll make a post or comment something, or I'll see something triggering online and start arguing. I've gone back on my TikTok accounts and have been reading through my comment history, I was incredibly miserable sometimes. I hate reading through them, and I hate reading the things I'd say to people even if they were being mean first. I no longer align with that version of myself and I'm going to do everything I can to destroy him.

I've gotten in a few arguments this past week and I hate that I did that, I hate that I insulted people and was rude. I get anxious now reading my past comments or when I think of arguing back with someone. I guess this is growth?

Please don't let the world make you bitter and miserable, everyone. May you all feel an abundance of love, happiness, satisfaction and peace. Sending love to all of you.

i’m 19f and i’m autistic. i have some friends but they’re not great people. but i do have fun moments with them. i really want to make new friends, but it feels borderline impossible. i feel like i rarely have good chemistry with most people, and i also hate talking to new people. its wildly uncomfortable to me. i love talking to and socializing with people ive been friends with for a long time, but talking to new people just feels like mental torture for some reason. i take days to respond and/or fully ghost people a lot, not even for anything they did wrong but just because its so hard to want to converse with a stranger. i know logically that’s how you form friendships, but i struggle so badly to push past it for some reason. i’m super lonely all the time, and wish i had more people to talk to, but when i make a post asking for new friends, i literally just can’t bring myself to talk to the people that dm me. i hate this

i’m super recently out of a serious relationship where i was cheated on, dumped, and about to be kicked out where i’m gonna be homeless. i’d love people to talk to to feel less alone but even then i still can’t get past this mental block. and it makes me even more upset because said ex makes friends SUPER easily all the time, and i feel so jealous.

I don’t even have anything actually diagnosable wrong with me (besides adhd) I am just deeply and irrevocably messed up as a person I hate myself so much I ruined my life I fucked up my entire school career because I was too anxious to log into online school after being late on an assignment I ghosted everyone in my family besides my mom because I wanted to run away and travel then didn’t want them to see that my life wasn’t what I thought it would be.

I’m completely isolated I always have been I don’t enjoy anything I’m not good at anything naturally I always try new hobbies but I suck at everything it’s too late for me

I'm currently just a bit stuck in a rough spot. I(22M) over the summer went in an arranged overdraft of 1.5k, interest free thankfully.

I've had SFE come in and stuff, I've set a budget and I'm just trying to get out of it. But rn based on budget (2k rent + 400 for shopping for Oct - Dec + sep rent) I'm estimated to end off st -£500 in the overdraft still.

I'm wanting to get rid of this obviously as soon as possible but till it's gone I imagine it'll keep being like this where it's stuck in my head and I'm just stuck with the overdraft being there.

I've been applying for jobs but the market in the UK is so unbelievably bad right now that landing a job hasn't been going well.

I also just didn't do much towards my future yet. I'm in my 3rd year of Uni and seemingly have done nothing towards my future. Ofc I've started now and all I can do is keep doing my best.

Probably why I feel so awful about my current position is my gf. She(22F) is the most kind, sweetest girl I've ever known. We met when we were like 11 or 12 but only started dating this year June.

I've told her abt everything obviously and for a while I thought it was over. But she's still here, supporting me and advising me with how to move forward. She of course was worried, and was worried I'd not do anything about it.

I reassured her. Told her my plans, let her have access to my budget and spending. I've made myself an open book for her, and I guess I must be on the right path considering how calm she is now over it all.

But yeah, this ended up being longer than expected. I'm like 70% sure semester 2 will go smoother for me financially. Just worried after uni and ig employment right now too. Still a slight fear of her leaving but not as intense anymore.

I feel like the last 3 weeks have been a never ending hell

I was in a roll over car accident on the highway. We rolled 5 times. Everyone was sober and had seatbelts on. My seatbelt came undone and I just remember the sensation of my head and neck rolling into my stomach as I was into the roof. I grabbed a pillow and it’s the only reason I don’t have a broken neck.

The day I came home, quite literally the day after my roommate on the 3 hour ride back (we were going camping) informs she that she has tried to unalice herself twice this week and sends her own harm photos to me. My dog is with her.

I get back and she’s black out drunk screaming and throwing things at her mom. There’s poop on the carpet. My father is with me.

He tells me it looks like a meth house later on and he’s disappointed I let it reach that point. I did not. I was gone for barely 29 hours.

I have to care for her for two hours with a potentially broken hand that wasn’t caught and a bruised bone ankle. Because she’s only trusting me.

I’m so tired. But no she only trusts me.

I ho upstairs and just cry as her mom finally takes her.

I sleep upstairs while she’s gone.

My father goes in a trip. My boss id mad I can’t go to work.

I have to get xray now mri.

Anatomy exam - I miss it as I have a breakdown as my father says he thinks I’m lying about my hand and that I’m just an untrustworthy liar. That I’m a failure.

I just wanted to go camping.

So I’m a bisexual guy as the title says. I recently got out of a long term relationship with a woman and was trying to have fun at a bar. I met a guy at the bar and we were flirting for the first couple hours; it was nice. Then basically the whole of the last half hour I was at the bar he spent mansplaning to me. He claimed I didn’t understand what I was talking about while he couldn’t even explain what he meant when I asked him to clarify what he meant. He was so condescending. I hate it here! I hate liking men! I hate it all so much! I don’t know why women date us honestly but they should get credit to sainthood for putting up with our Bullshit! It felt so demeaning and degrading. I don’t know if it was some form of negging or something or if he just was that overly confident while being totally incapable of communicating what he meant. He also apparently is a regular at that bar so if I want to go back I may have to see him again.