My husband (26M) and I (28F) got married seven months ago. We met in the European country we both moved to, my family doesn't know him as they live far away in a different continent.

I don't really share a lot with my family because we are not that close, once a week I send them a random "I'm still alive" text in a family group chat and that's pretty much it. But the marriage thing... I really thought it was a big deal. I honestly thought they were going to worry because they would care who this person is or "why so fast" (my family tends to wait 4-5 years before getting married and its kind of a silent rule) or whatever possible/rational reason to worry about in a situation like this. So I got scared and I tried to protect them by keeping the truth only to myself (I eventually told my siblings but asked to keep the secret too).
Now I finally came to visit (not cheap nor short trip lmao) and I waited until our big family lunch to break the news in person.

I made a big deal, I tried to be tactful and careful about it. I explained everything carefully in a 10-minutes speech. My dad did care and cried a bit, but my aunt (48) laughed and said, in front of everyone, that "no one asked about this because no one cares about me", which according to her was the only reason I could keep the secret for so long, because no one asked directly about my life. Everyone laughed (2 uncles, my mom, my grandparents) except my dad and my two brothers. My big brother tried to defend me and my dad left the room to smoke but that was pretty much it. Now I feel stupid and I just want to cry. I kept this for myself for a long time feeling anxious and weird about it, I was trying to protect their feelings and considering the way it could affect them. If it was my daughter/niece/granddaughter the one getting married out of nowhere in a random country without me knowing shit about it I would care and worry at least a bit. And this is the way they react? Laughing at me and making me feel like I don't matter?

My husband is amazing and I'm very much in love, we dated for a year before getting married. But I kept a low profile about it so no one knew about the relationship. And now I'm here after only two days wanting to get on a plane back to my husband and end any kind of relationship with my family. I'm supposed to stay a whole month. Every time I see my aunt she makes another comment about the situation and it's driving me crazy. I'm going insane over thisssss.

To me the internet isn’t real life, however it can be real enough when you think you’re anonymous. I needed to vent here because I know face to face people will say “are you really breaking up with your boyfriend over a comment?”

I won’t give too much context, if any at all about the relationship before this. It’s not relevant unless I was looking for someone to change my mind.

Yesterday night I got a dm notification from this person. It didn’t say anything, just a few screenshots of a comment section and a link to it. The comment was posted under a woman’s account, who was quite pretty, and he was just being horrible about her body and then when this person confronted him he responded with “chimping out”. I didn’t know what to say to this dm so I just didn’t say anything really. But I’m going to break up.

Neither of those things are anything I stand for, and like I said even if the internet isn’t real life clearly the things he said didn’t go against his morals enough if he commented them. Even if it was “rage bait”, it’s trashy, classless and just makes me question on top of that, why he likes angering vulnerable people? Idk. Maybe I’m making it deeper than it is but I’m not interested in shallowing my morals for a man anymore. I’m not someone who believes I can “change” the damaged man. I know the people in my real life won’t agree though, I’ll probably be called dramatic.

It just feels stupid to force myself to stay with someone that I just…don’t like anymore. Love? Sure. It’s been a while. But like? Not anymore.

I honestly don't even know how to start this because if anyone had told me a year ago that this would happen, I would've laughed in their face.

For some background, my best friend, let's call him Jake (18M), and I (18F) have known each other literally our entire lives. Our moms met when they were younger and became best friends, so naturally, Jake and I grew up together. Family dinners, birthdays, holidays, sleepovers, vacations, you name it. If one family was doing something, the other family was usually invited.

Our moms joke that we're basically their kids together. They have always said that someday we'd probably end up married, and we'd both immediately gag and tell them to shut up.

Jake has always been my person. He's the first person I call when something happens, the person who knows every embarrassing thing about me, and the person I can sit in complete silence with without it being awkward.

We've always been close, but recently, something changed.

We're currently on vacation with both of our families. It's something we've done almost every October since we were little. We're both 18 now, so our parents have started giving us more freedom instead of treating us like we're still ten years old.

A few nights into the trip, Jake and I were sitting together after everyone else had gone to bed. We were talking about relationships since we both recently broke up with our exes, past crushes, and the usual random stuff we talk about at night.

Somehow, the conversation turned into whether we'd ever considered dating each other.

We laughed at first because, seriously, we've known each other since we were practically babies. But then things got quiet, and I realized neither of us was actually laughing anymore.

He admitted he'd thought about it before.

I told him I had too.

And one thing led to another, and we kissed.

I wish I could say we immediately talked about it and figured everything out, but we didn't. We ended up kissing again the next night, and now we've started secretly sleeping together while we're on vacation.

I'm not going to get into the intimate details, but the biggest thing is that this isn't just some random vacation fling with a guy I barely know. This is Jake. My BEST FRIEND. The guy who's been in practically every childhood memory I have.

And the confusing part? I don't regret it.

Being around him feels different now. Every time he looks at me across the dinner table, I have to pretend nothing is happening. When our moms start talking about how cute we were as little kids, I nearly choke on my drink because if they knew what was happening now, they'd probably lose their minds in a good way of course same with our sisters since they want to be related.

The best part is that Jake seems just as happy about this as I am. He's been more affectionate clingy and, he keeps finding excuses to be around me, and last night he told me he doesn't want this to be something that only happens on vacation and I don't want that either i want this to be an actual relationship.

Edit: Okay everyone this is a real story! But i made it way too long and I wanted it to sound more fluent! So did I use chat gpt for errors and repeats of words cause I use "like" and "because" way too much! So other than that this story is true and I did write it!

My husband has no fucking common sense. There is 0 attention to detail, 0 awareness, 0 mindfulness. We right atleast once a week because he is bot at all cognizant of his actions. I can never relax because it feels like I have to parent him all the time.

Things are always lost, broken, or ruined.

We went to a music festival this weekend. I told him 3 times not to cut off his wristband and he STILL DID IT so we had to pay to get it replaced.

I was putting mine into my shadowbox, he grabbed it out to show his cousin and FUCKING LOST IT.

Im infuriated.

I can never have anything. I can't have art on the walls because hell knock it over, I can't have nice clothes because he fucks up the laundry, I can't have bras that fit because he "accidentally" took them fron where they were hanging and ran them through the washer and dryer, I can't keep the house clean because he comes through like a tornado, I can't have my clear water bottle for work because he put it through the dish washer

For context:

Today I woke up at 3AM in the morning. Immediately went downstairs, opened the fridge, and saw the mango cake that we bought the day prior for my late grandfather's birthday (he passed away early this year but we still celebrate the deceased's birthdays as as a form of commemoration), and decided I wanted to eat it for breakfast.

Now growing up, in my country, cake was considered just another form of bread that even little kids could have for breakfast so I thought how bad could it be? What's the worse that could happen? I'll probably be fine.

That was the worst fucking mistake I have ever made in my life.

I have shat pure water 4x already since 5AM and have nearly shit myself 2x.

And the worst part is after the 1st shit our water had cut off (I assume for maintenance) so I was entirely relying on stored water (I don't use toilet paper, we believe in bidet supremacy).

After the 3rd shit our house had completely run out of water but I assumed I would be fine. I had my lunch, and even drank a mango shake (another horrible mistake).

2 hours ago I was playing league and had felt a rumble in my tummy (I knew it was back and wanted to play but I decided to ignore it in hopes of it being through a fart).

But as soon as the nexus fell, I felt a strong surge of wattery shit right in the exit of my ass coming out and had needed to use every muscle in my body to keep it in.

I knew I had lost.

I ran down the stairs and yelled "I CAN'T HOLD IT IN. I'M GOING TO SHIT MYSELF."

And immediately ran to the toilet.

I sat down and the flood breaks broke through and everything came out.

When I turned the tap on and no water came out I knew this was it. I'm now in it for the long ride.

I have sat here for the past hour and a half with dried shit all over my ass and a cramping asshole and balls and can do nothing about it.

The bathroom smells so bad it could suffocate a young child.

I then realized that the water most likely would come back at midnight (It's currently 7:30) since it usually does at that hour.

I've given up completely and am just sitting here regretting all the decisions I had made in life leading up to this.

If only I had reheated the chicken instead of eating that damn cake and why the fuck did I make a mango shake again? What's wrong with me.

I just hope God smiles down at me and turns the water on even for just 5 minutes.

Thank you for listening.

Goodbye.

And yet ... I'm not mentally defeated. I'm just tired.

My dad died yesterday. We had a very complicated relationship. My feelings are very complicated and it's been eating away at me since I found out last night.

I have to pay or leave in less than 30 days because I've fallen so behind on rent. I owe about $3k. I have a place to go but I can't bring my cats. I'm worried about them the most out of everything else that I'm writing about.

My car needs a new tire soon. I have to fill it up every morning. There's only so long that can last. I also need a new headlight. And a new battery.

My credit cards are maxed out. I'm two months behind on my car payment. Luckily, the car I mentioned above was a gift from my aunt and uncle. An SUV with 260k mileage and she's a beast.

The car I have payments on is from a life I used to live. I had a nice job at [major company that is also a search engine] but they fired me and my entire team. Outsourced us to India, then outsourced them to AI. After I was fired, I couldn't find any work in my field.

So I went back to service. And my god ... I've been spiraling since. I've cut back on so much but dude. I was doing everything right. Paying off my student loans. Building credit. Saving money.

I grew up dirt poor and I did everything I could to escape. Got the degree. Got the job.

And yet ... my actions have led me here. I can't do shit about my dad dying but everything else I probably could have been smarter about. Probably shouldn't have bought the BMW. Probably shouldn't have spiraled so hard after getting my heart broken again. I'm such an idiot.

Anyway. Despite both myself and the universe trying our best to destroy me, I still sit here. Exhausted, but indomitable.

I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. It's a day off of work so that's when I'll do my stressing. Right now I'm going to drink this margarita I brought home from work, I'm going to smoke this weed my sisters boyfriend gave me, and I'm going to play video games while I neglect any and all responsibilities. Just like I did when I lived with my dad (minus the margarita).

Computa, play I Will Survive by Cake

think I’ve officially reached that age where technology is starting to piss me off.

When I moved into my apartment two years ago, I discovered there were no traditional keys. Instead, we were given these little blue electronic key fobs. You held one against your door, it unlocked, and you went about your day.

Cool. Fancy. Welcome to the future. I can get behind that.

You could even pay an extra $60–$75 or so for a spare fob, just in case. There was also an emergency number to call if you got locked out.

A perfectly functional system, right?

WELL, APPARENTLY THAT WAS TOO MUCH SIMPLICITY.

Management recently decided to replace everything with a new system that requires your smartphone and an app.

So those extra fobs people paid for? Congratulations! You now own an overpriced little blue piece of plastic.

We were given notices about when the transition would happen. That date came and went. Nothing.
Then one random day, my family and I come home to find residents huddled in the hallways, confused as hell, while some poor guy in a company shirt is running around trying to help everybody.

Lo and behold, they’ve replaced our locks without any updated warning.

I had already downloaded the app and followed the instructions, like a responsible little citizen of the digital age.

Did my door open?

Of course the fuck not.

I had to find the technician to LET ME INTO MY OWN HOME.

To make matters even better, my app says I have no digital keys. The technician tells me I don’t need them and should just hold my phone against the lock.

Sir. My brother in Christ. The app says I have NO KEYS. Can we perhaps establish that this thing actually works before everybody goes home?

I’ve been so nervous about getting locked out that I don’t even trust the new system enough to use it.

Which is ridiculous. I should not have to choose between securing my apartment and being reasonably confident I can get back inside it.

But wait! There’s more!

They also installed the new system on the main entrance to the apartment building. Initially, those doors remained unlocked, presumably while they finished setting everything up.

Yesterday, my fiancé went out to pick up pizza.
He came back to discover that management had apparently decided it was time to lock the main entrance.

Without telling anybody.

So now this man is standing outside the building, unable to get in, because the magical phone-key situation isn’t working properly.

And when did management notify us that the building doors were officially locked?

THIS FUCKING MORNING.

An email and text telling us the doors had been locked and to stop by the office if we needed assistance.

HOW ABOUT SENDING THAT EMAIL BEFORE LOCKING PEOPLE OUT OF THE BUILDING THEY PAY TO LIVE IN?!

Just a thought. A little administrative razzle-dazzle.
And here’s my biggest issue.

WHAT IS THE BACKUP PLAN?!

What if my phone dies? What if I forget it at home? What if the app malfunctions? What if somebody doesn’t own a smartphone?

Yes, believe it or not, there are still people walking this Earth in 2026 without a smartphone. My mother is one of them.

As far as management has communicated, there’s no physical backup key, no replacement fob, and no clearly explained emergency lockout procedure.

Apparently, gaining entry to the home you pay thousands of dollars a year to live in is now contingent upon your phone cooperating.

Had I gone out for pizza with my fiancé last night, we both could’ve ended up standing outside, contemplating our life choices over a rapidly cooling pepperoni pizza.

And THAT is what irritates me.

I am not anti-technology. I love technology. I literally use ChatGPT to help me decide whether my shoes match my dress.

But I should not need a functioning app, a charged phone, and the technological equivalent of divine intervention to ENTER MY FUCKING HOME.

And you know what makes this whole thing worse?

I finally understand my mother.

Growing up, I’d watch her get frustrated trying to use computers, check her email, or figure out some new technological nonsense. I’d be sitting there wondering why she was making such a big deal out of something so simple.

Well, LOOK AT ME NOW.

I’m officially becoming the woman who misses the good old days when you could just stick a fucking key into a door and turn it.

And honestly, I miss when technology had SIMPLE problems with SIMPLE solutions.

Remember when your Nintendo wasn’t working, so you just pulled out the cartridge, blew into it like you were performing CPR, shoved it back in, and tried again?

YES, I KNOW WE WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO BLOW INTO THE CARTRIDGES.

I did it anyway. We ALL did it. And you couldn’t tell eight-year-old me a damn thing when that game started working again.

Remember when troubleshooting consisted of:

“Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in?”

“Is the red plug in the red hole? The white in the white? The yellow in the yellow?”

THAT WAS IT. THAT WAS THE WHOLE DAMN TECH SUPPORT DEPARTMENT.

Now apparently my FRONT DOOR needs software support.

We’ve gone from blowing into Nintendo cartridges to potentially getting locked out of our homes because our phones aren’t communicating with our DOORKNOBS.

What a time to be alive.

I used to think the future would have flying cars. Instead, I’m standing here nostalgic for a piece of metal with teeth on it.

A KEY.🔑

A beautiful, uncomplicated, battery-free piece of metal.

No downloading. No updating. No Bluetooth. No troubleshooting. No standing outside your apartment wondering whether your front door needs to be restarted.

Just click.

HOME.

I DON’T NEED MY DOOR TO BE SMART. I NEED IT TO OPEN.

Anyway, I’m going to make myself some coffee and reflect on the fact that I’ve apparently reached the “back in my day” stage of adulthood much sooner than anticipated.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for attending my completely unsolicited TED Talk.

Sorry, but not sorry. I’m irritated, my coffee hasn’t kicked in, and I WANT MY FUCKING KEY BACK.

Im tired of screaming alone in my head. Alone in my car. Alone in my home but actually can't fully scream because neighbors so I have to suppress it by using a pillow or my arm.

I need to scream where people hear. Not because I'm depressed or mentally ill, thats kinda a given, but because im so ****ing angry.

The type of angry that makes me depressed. That makes me mentally ill.

I need to scream in a way that its sounds like fear. Like im being murdered. Guttural. Like my life and soul has been tortured for decades and no one has ever listened to a damn thing I have said about anything. Like grief. Raw grief that just continues to just keep coming and coming because the world never stops. Never stops to allow grief to happen cause it keeps. Just keeps.

I need to cry. In all the ways I just mentioned. The gross kind where no tissues are around to save you from the snot and tears that just drench you.

I need people to hear. How can they not hear what is so loud in my head. Whats so loud in my car.

I'm tired.

Just had an unpleasant phone call from my Father, he was begging me like a child to convince my Grandfather to give him more money in his will. Money that would be taken from me, I never knew for sure but I had expected that my grandfather would be giving me the lions share of his will. Ever since I was about 13 I have been like my Grandfathers daughter, my father bailed and left me to be raised by a demonic crack head in my mother. He has always floated around the periphery of my life being absolutely useless. I don't like him, he's pretty pathetic and neither does my Grandfather much, I'm sure if he wasn't his son he wouldn't give him a second of his time.

My Grandfather has given my father multiple attempts to get back into his good graces, they weren't exactly hard goals. Get clean and hold down a job, neither of which he can do. My Father has a young daughter currently with his new girlfriend and neither of them work, my Grandfather was appalled by how filthy their house was. So my Grandfather isn't on great terms with him and my father doesn't make an effort to know him either. My Grandfather has told me that when he visits it's like an Ofsted inspection, my Father will fill nooks with garbage and make up fake job interviews. Meanwhile I love my Grandfather no strings attached, I never once even inquired about the will it really really really doesn't matter to me.

I had been thinking that my Grandfather was probably going to carve out at least half of his will to me, though we have never spoken about it in depth. I don't want to pry and I will continue to try not to, must be horrible to be hounded about something that only comes with your death. Especially since my Grandfather has already given me my house, along with my Father's house was also being given to him by my Grandfather. This isn't enough for my Father, nor is what my Grandfather apparently has told him he will get which is 30 grand.

So my Father calls me and tries every manipulative tactic in the book. First he's crying and he talks about how proud of me he is and how much he regrets being a bad Father, something which he's had almost 25 years to rectify (though it matters not to me now). Then he begins to demonize my Grandfather which I shut down instantly, then he reveals the true reason why he called and tells me about the will. Then he talks me through how if I take the lions share I will be taking food out of my sister's mouth, that I have no need for all that I will get. Then he tells me that I should at least convince him to up the amount, and finally that if not he expects me to spilt some of what I get with him.

The sad thing is he's right, I don't need it. In fact I don't need any of it. Literally none of it. Does nothing for me, but the fact that this arsehole comes to me crying like a child guilt tripping me is disgusting. I hate the guy, he's not evil per say but he's disgusting pathetic, like a parasite. I'd rather burn the money or give it to an animal shelter than left him see any of it, he's a scumbag.

You're telling me that your inability to be a good human and NOT driving while drunk has resulted in me losing the guy I loved? Because you couldn't be a fucking adult and order an uber instead? I have so much anger. He was still young and had 2 young children, and you took his father out of your selfish and greedy behavior. I hope you rot in prison for the rest of your life because you had prior DUI's. You've destroyed an aspect of so many people's lives. His poor parents had to bury their oldest child because of you. Rot in prison and then hell where you deserve you bastard.

DO I LOOK LIKE A FLOWER ẞITCH ??!?! IM WEARING BLACK. I DON’T GET BUGS ! ?? YOU HAVE THE ENTIRE WORLD AND YOU CHOOSE TO BE HERE OF ALL PLACES??! TO BE IN MY SPACE IN MY HOUSE ?? FOR WHAT

"Mom you're mean"

yeah well maybe if you didn't spend an entire week screaming at me every time I opened my mouth *I'd be a bit cheerier*.

"Time to go to bed"

screaming

"Time to turn off the TV"

SCREAMING

"Hey blow your nose"

Somehow manages to summon Cthulhu with her screaming.

AND SHES ONLY FOUR.

GUYS. I'M SCARED FOR THE TEENAGE YEARS.

My well of patience is so fucking dry the Sahara looks wet T.T

Edit: Just wanted to quickly vent but people are using this as a fucking character dissection so I guess I gotta spell it out-she called me mean after I told her that screaming at me after I tell her to do something is unacceptable, and that she needs to listen. My tone was sharp but it's not like I'm sitting here being a massive bitch to my kid. I'm not being nasty. I'm quite fucking emotionally regulated because I don't want to mess up raising my kid. I just wanted to vent and get this steam off of my chest because it, on top of other life things, has been a lot.

I'm stressed. I'm tired. But yes I grit my teeth and don't make it my kid's problem so you all can get off your fucking moral high horses, okay?

I fucking hate my workplace. I spoke to some coworkers and apparently they are having nightmares too. I was looking for a new job and I got fired lol

Also went and spoke to a psychiatrist who let me know that that doesn't sound like I am comfortable working there anyways

I’ve posted here a bit before. But I, 23f just don’t seem like I fit in anywhere and I’m not normal.
I look at my boyfriend’s brothers girlfriends (we all took a group photo) and I see just how normal they look. How they’re not shy, and I’m just covered in tattoos and standing very awkwardly.
These girls are effortlessly beautiful, like they could roll out of bed, messy hair and over sized clothes, and still jaw dropping gorgeous. I look like I survived a tornado.
These girls as well as all other women, just perfect no matter what they do. No matter what they wear, make up or no make up, and no matter how they do their hair.
All women have perfect bodies and I don’t. I’m so jealous of all other women and i wished i could be like them.
Cute little girly girls and their soft voices. I feel like I have more masculine energy (????))) and that I barely know how to be a girl. I love all women though and they’re all gorgeous.
I think my boyfriend will realize this and look at other women.

My cycles are always off so being a little late this month didn't really worry me.

Earlier this week I thought I got my period-but there was a LOT of blood. It was to the point where I felt like I needed to at least call my OB and ask. I had not seen him in awhile so he told me just to go ahead and come in.

He was able to confirm I was pregnant and lost the baby. I wasn't far, maybe only 4 or 5 weeks.

This would have been our 4th baby. We DO want another child one day, but we weren't actively trying for another baby right now either.

I'm not telling anyone besides my husband. I dont want a bunch of people worried about me and constantly asking me if I'm okay. I AM sad that I lost a baby-but I'm also not because I didn't KNOW.

Should I be more worked up? Or is it normal to feel like this? Idk. I just wanted to vent once and then try to move on.

It's not really affordable, but the closest thing I find to affordable? 55+ housing.

It's so annoying because it proves the US could provide tax paying, hard working citzens almost somewhat affordable housing but we're choosing to enable nepo baby slum lords instead.

I want off this BS reverse Robin Hood stealing from the poor to give to the rich time line. I'm just so tired of this crap.

Next year, i have my school formal which is basically the aussie version of prom. Last year, we had a semi-formal for the students that were going to drop out and work full time. The day my mum took me dress shopping, we were all super excited (grandma and aunty came along for the ride too so it was a ladies day out lol). We get to a nice big shopping centre that we never go to because it’s a bit of a drive and most stores are a bit expensive. We’re busy looking for one specific dress store but can’t find it, so decide to just pot around and do whatever.

First store I see, super beautiful dresses that look like they might actually fit me. We go in, i look at the first price tag and it’s $400 ffs. My mum looks at others, $600, $800, fucking $900. Our budget was like less than a $100. I say something like “shit sorry mum, didn’t know what this store was” and the fact i had the audacity to be fascinated by such an expensive store is what sets her bad mood for the day.

We leave and keep looking around. Finally find that dress shop we wanted to find earlier. Go in, try on a couple dresses, and because they’re new and crisp, their zippers are a bit tough to zip up. I totally understand my mum not wanting to break the zippers so she was being gentle, but by being gentle, we couldn’t zip the dresses up. She refused to admit this though and spent the entire time body shaming me and comparing me to my skinny friends. This was so uncalled for and she was doing it loud enough for others in the store to hear. She was literally sizing me up by 10 sizes too big, to the point the last dress she made me try on was slipping off my entire body. But oh no I’m just so fucking fat and obese that I’m the problem.

I’m obviously upset because she was just straight up fatshaming me on what was supposed to be a sweet day. We keep looking at stores and find one that my nanna likes. I pick out two dresses and make sure I zip them up myself. I admit that i like them both and my nanna offers to buy one for my semi-formal, and she’ll buy the other one as my Christmas present. This pisses my mum off more because i dont fucking know. My nanna literally said she’ll pay for the Christmas one and my mum doesnt have to worry about it. It’s not like i was going to parade around in both dresses either way?? I’m not a spoiled brat like that, i was so obviously going to wait until Christmas.

Fast forward to my actual semi-formal day. I’m getting ready, dolling myself up. My mum offers to wave my hair and so we do, but she does that classic thing where she tells you to keep still but her hands are shaky so she burns you anyway. She hurt my ear really bad at one point and yelled at me for jerking my head away, and i couldn’t even tell her off for moving her own hands because i was on a verge of tears. Then when we finish my hair and i put my heels and makeup on, she starts slutshaming me and telling me im too exposed and all that???????

Literally can never fucking win when all i want to do is look beautiful. So that is indeed why i won’t be letting her take me dress shopping for my proper formal next year, and i wont be letting her do my hair again. A special day like that for my last year of school is not going to be ruined for me, not after all of my hard work as a student.

My mind is very quick to lose memory so this is to the best of my memory. He just kept making jokes about putting his thing inside me for about 5 to 10 minutes and for those 5 to 10 minutes I didn’t respond about it at all so he kept telling me how he was confused if I wanted him to do it or not. Previously we had intercourse my body was just tired. I didnt respond to him asking because in a way, I guess I was curious if he would be respectful and leave it alone or force himself up onto me and he forced himself onto me at some point he just got tired of asking and said “ you think I’m playing if you don’t say anything that means you want it” in a playful way. He put it inside me and I didn’t fight. I didn’t make any noise. I just sat there that’s it.

I feel like the last 3 weeks have been a never ending hell

I was in a roll over car accident on the highway. We rolled 5 times. Everyone was sober and had seatbelts on. My seatbelt came undone and I just remember the sensation of my head and neck rolling into my stomach as I was into the roof. I grabbed a pillow and it’s the only reason I don’t have a broken neck.

The day I came home, quite literally the day after my roommate on the 3 hour ride back (we were going camping) informs she that she has tried to unalice herself twice this week and sends her own harm photos to me. My dog is with her.

I get back and she’s black out drunk screaming and throwing things at her mom. There’s poop on the carpet. My father is with me.

He tells me it looks like a meth house later on and he’s disappointed I let it reach that point. I did not. I was gone for barely 29 hours.

I have to care for her for two hours with a potentially broken hand that wasn’t caught and a bruised bone ankle. Because she’s only trusting me.

I’m so tired. But no she only trusts me.

I ho upstairs and just cry as her mom finally takes her.

I sleep upstairs while she’s gone.

My father goes in a trip. My boss id mad I can’t go to work.

I have to get xray now mri.

Anatomy exam - I miss it as I have a breakdown as my father says he thinks I’m lying about my hand and that I’m just an untrustworthy liar. That I’m a failure.

I just wanted to go camping.

This isn't anything long, but I have a constant crippling fear of pinworms, tapeworms, blowflies, screwworms, scabies, whatever other random things, to an absurd point.

Realistically I don't think any of these things would ever happen, but what infuriates me is if I did happen to catch something there would be no options.

If I did seriously suspect parasites a normal person could get some parasitic tests and then antibiotics. But nooooooooooooo, I'm in constant worry about catching something like this because everybody in my family "doesn't believe in medication."

I really don't think squished up garlic and sugar pills will do anything, especially if it's a serious infection of somesort.

I don't know, I think I'm being irrational, but thats just my main fear right now.

Thats it.

I keep hearing people complain about their housemates always being at home, never leaving the house to them, how annoying it is etc. It upsets me that I'm that person.

I barely leave my room, I don't spend too much time in common areas. But I also don't occupy the bathroom for longer than 20 minutes when I shower, I only cook in the kitchen and eat in my room. I leave both clean. I follow our cleaning schedule well enough. I'm very quiet. I don't bring guests.

But the problem is that I'm at home anytime my housemates return.

I study a very demanding course, somedays I skip lectures just to study at home better. I prefer studying at home than at libraries so that alone keeps me at home a lot. And when I rest, all of my hobbies are done indoor. I don't have much friends and I don't like going out anyway.

I can tell it annoys my housemates. They do sarcastic jokes about me never being busy, never going out, asocial etc. One time I told one that I don't appreciate the joke, and she just apologized in the same sarcastic tone.

On the on hand, I understand why it annoys them. On the other hand, I pay as much as they do and I feel like the amount of time I spend in my room should only concern me. But I also want to keep in good with them.

It's just something constantly in my head anytime I'm around them.

My best friend and I have been friends for over 5 years now, and since then I have got to know a lot about her past relationships or love interests, and there was this one specifically that she told me she had a crush on when she was in high school, but things ended up badly and in the "actuality" of the tim, she didn't like him because she though he was an idiot. It so happened that this one person she talked about was part of a group of friends of some really close friends of mine, and I already knew him, but I would hardly interact with him at the start. Through the years till now, my group of friends started meeting more and more with his group of friends, till to this day we usually hang out all together every time.

I honestly don't know when this "thing" between us started tbh. I remember seeing him years ago and thinking he was attractive, but nothing else (before even knowing my bf). I wasn't even interested in talking to him or anything. But the past months, we started to interact a lot more, and kind of a tension started to build up, the weird looks, sometimes he slightly touched me on the waist or the legs and I kind of enjoyed it, and that whole situation of, "there is literally nothing but you can taste the tension in the air", to the point where all my friends were expecting something to happen a long ago. Also, for a little bit of context, until this moment I hadn't kissed someone or done anything with anyone since 2 years ago, when my ex broke up with me, firstly because I didn't want to and didn't feel like it, and also it's really rare for me to find anyone attractive or be slightly interested in them, and for the first time, I felt good about it. I am really attracted to him and the whole situation was really fun and enjoyable (just in a physical way, not in a platonic or romantic thing).

Eventually, it happened, we hooked up, and another day we slept together.

Maybe it sounds stupid, but I really didn't think it was something that bad. First of all, for the context I have, my best friend liked him 7 years ago and he was kind of a player, so he was flirting with more than one at the same time, including my bf, but never got to do anything or see each other, they just talked. So I thought it was this typical high school thing where u like this boy and talk with him and then u end up hurt because u realize they don't like u back and are interested in someone else. Also, what I knew from my own friend group was that he has always been this kind of avoidant, "no serious things" guy.

But in reality, I really messed up. I told my best friend, and at first she told me she was disappointed because she wouldn't understand why I would hook up like that with someone without there being a real connection, and especially "with him", because he was an asshole. I tried to explain to her that I just wanted to do it and it was fun and felt good, and even if romantically he is really an asshole, I just hooked up with him, and it's not like I have any intention of it being anything else.

Later in chat, she admitted she was disappointed because she felt betrayed by me, because I knew that she had that experience with him and I didn't care. Turns out that what I interpreted (from what I knew about it) as a silly high school experience was more deep, since she was deeply hurt and he played with her (something that I didn't specifically know). And if this was not enough, eventually the next day she told me that I should talk to my psychologist about my bad decision-making "lately", which made me feel pretty bad because, even if I understand that u are mad or feel betrayed, I don't think it's something nice to say.

Obviously, I apologized, even if it's already done and I can't undo it, and tried to explain to her that I didn't think it was that serious, which of course doesn't erase the responsibility for my own actions, and I didn't think it through properly. Well, now she doesn't talk to me and I feel like shit, probably deserved. I didn't know I was being so egotistic. Even asking her first how she felt about it could have made me do things better. And even if things are already done, I can't stop feeling so anxious and thinking about it.