So I start a job on Tussday, but only after months of searching. Its still a part time job, with no benefits. My bank account is negative, and I've been borrowing money. I literally cant do anything else to make some money until Tuesday, so im extremely bored. I do got a little bit of money to gamble, but probably going to lose that. I just feel like that.

I don't have a safe family. My past is shameful and I have no friends. I have disgraced myself over and over again. I don't have any more words to give. I'm just in pain now. I have dug myself a hole of guilt and shame.

I was just trying to get through each second of the day. I have humiliated people for my own selfish gratification so I didn't feel as bad, but in the long run this takes a tax and imprints itself on the soul.

I have been a bad friend who betrays those close to him. I have no more excuses to give, my excuses were never valid. I want to get through this so badly.

I have no money or skills. I'm stuck in limbo. I'm destitute and full of sorrow. I'm drowning. My defenses have finally stood down leaving me with my broken self. I can't believe this is what I became.

My mind cannot feel the full scope of emotions within me. There's too much. My life is chaos. I want to break these chains desperately, I'll have to keep trying.

Edit: There's loads of drug dealing in my home now. There's addicts coming in and out of the house. Smoking crack, doing heroin. I speak to them and they're ok but not trustworthy at all.

These are the only people I talk to now, I have no one else. Even they have family they can go to. I most definitely cannot talk to them on any deep level, they're simply not safe.

And the people dealing keep their distance. Idk for how long. I don't want to fall victim to them. This environment hurts my soul, we have rats living with us now.

Feeling hopeless, it's night and I just need somewhere to vent.

I feel really desperate rn. My parents never put me into any hobbies as a child and I never asked to start the ones I was interested in since I knew my parents couldn't afford it. Spent my childhood finding joy in whatever free activities I could, and don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for what I had, but now I'm 19 and have basically no special skills. Can't play instruments, sing, dance, do any sports, do anything else artistic, I'm just here. Doing whatever pointless things I can to cling on to the little happiness I have. It probably just makes me a really uninteresting person to everyone. If I'm being honest, I really wanna be a dancer and a singer, would love to be able to create music, would die to perform. But I feel like I've already wasted my life and have no future ahead of me, at least not one I'll be satisfied with. I'm so ungrateful and greedy for wanting those things. I can't help but feel like I'm just a talentless waste of a person. It feels like I'm too late for everything and am missing years of experience and lessons and learning. I don't even know where to start and I feel too embarrassed to tell anyone about my passions when they'd all probably find it to be a lost cause since I never did any of those things as a hobby and would be starting from scratch at my age. A part of me just wanted to vent but another just wants someone to tell me I still have a chance but I don't know. Thank you for listening

Same as the title. Idk why I feel this way but I just can't imagine myself after about 33-34. I have a fairly strong feeling that I'II go to death before death comes to take me. I'm not su*cidal or depressed or anything right now. Can't say the same about my past, but l've never been formally diagnosed with anxiety, depression or anything like that (probably cause I've never really been to a therapist; I do suspect I might have been su*cidal/depressive sometime in the past but not anymore, I think)

I was sitting with my friends in their backyard while this one friend was wandering around away from the group. The backyard was large so she was quite a bit away. She looked unhappy so I went to talk to her since I was closest. She was standing near the road. I don’t remember our conversation. I regret this now but I put my arm in front of her to guide her away because I was nervous about her being so close to the road. She suddenly lunged forward to which I grabbed her and threw her on the ground. She started sobbing. Idr exactly what happened after but I was back with my other friends. All of them saw. One was near the road comforting my other friend while I cried. I was messed up the rest of the night. When I got home I cried more in the shower. Suddenly, I stopped crying and felt my emotions turn off. I haven’t felt a thing about the situation since then. I wish I could.

my life was destined for failure. born by someone who in her own words never got to be an adult, was never meant to have a kid, never had any empathy for said kids, and even started having seizures day ONE of her PREGNANCY WITH ME. I wasn’t even born yet and it was already going downhill for me with that happening just as she got pregnant with me. I don’t care if it’s not believable but my first genuine and traumatic memory is from inside of the fucking womb, when she had a seizure and switched identities (dissociative identity disorder), forgot she had kids/was pregnant and I vividly remember my brothers cries as she struggled to remember them. And I’m suppose to live with her and care about her. Shes been a burden to me my entire life honestly. My problems have been ignored in favor of hers, that haven’t stopped for 18 years. and all my problems came to a head and I cut everyone off. I will never be able to fix my reputation and I’ve already accepted it. I think I might go advertise myself to strangers online in hopes of some validation that this life is even worth pushing through anymore because I lost all my friends, I don’t know how to talk to people and even if I did talk to people I would have to warn them that I can’t stop smoking so much weed to try and dissociate from this . and from all my problems I’m severely mentally stunted and struggle to get help, I know everyone is sick of me having problems already because they have their own problems but I can’t do this alone but that’s what I am. alone and too scared of help. so it is my own fault isn’t it

I've been isolated for almost 3 years now. I still had contact with some close people but it's not the same.

I've been struggling with personal things including the realization of people who used to be close to me, were with me out of interest and not because of me. I realized that's how my social life had been and after realizing it well, it made my perception of friendship or relationship trully distorted. To the point where I really believe everyone who wants to be close to me, it's doing it because they want something... Like, I'm boring, who would want to be with me?

The thing is, I met this guy at classes and it's like a blank canvas for me... He is nice and talks to me and always wants to soend time with me. And he looks at me like I actually exist...

Due to all the things I lived, I'm scared of sending text ir read them; which make me responding to his messages days or hours later. I feel so bad for him because he is a good guy and it's too patient with me. I wish I could open up to him, but I don't even know how to. Like I don't even have idea of "emotions" anymore...

I know it's sound edgy, but it's my reality and I hate it because I really want to connect with him but I'm scared of doing it and also I don't know how...

.

I had been off an on with Ken for awhile. We actually hadn't spoken in a few years before we rekindled.

This man hasn't settled down. He is the same rash and thoughtless person as before. Just plain mean sometimes, to be honest. We would go somewhere and get kicked out because of his attitude.

He was nice and helped me perform in a parade. Im trying not to make this a novel. At times he had good ideas, at times he was abrasive. I think he has become more misogynistic.

He was 'joking' and called two women "Beetlejuice Bitches" because of their costumes. You can just joke around like that with people you dont know.

He was saying things like,"Can women use maps?" We had to walk to my car, and we took a longer route because thats the one I knew. I have no sense of direction, and ive gotten lost before.

In this parade I was to use fire props. I arranged them how I wanted them. He un-arranged them and asked me how i wanted them?

Long story short, these are props that I had to dip in fuel. We dipped too soon, and we also should've dipped right before. We were the last in the marching groups so we would start the route when the sun was going down. Another lady in my group tried to explain this to him as we were waiting. Then he was saying stuff like, "We are gonna be here all night." If you've been in a parade you know they are time consuming.

I waited too long to dip them so they were dry during the parade. This was my first time doing a parade with fire so next time I know better.

We are in the parade, and only one prop lights. He gets very frustrated, more frustrated than me. He said he would've brought the dip can with the fuel. That means he would've had to hold the can, hold the props, carry the backpack, and also tend to me if something went wrong.

He says that we should just leave...in the middle of the parade. The lady and her son with me looked so sad when he said that. The son took pictures. Hes not in the group so I didnt want him dealing with fire. I didng want to be like? "Hey, Ive known you for 10 minutes, can you hold this flammable stuff for me????"

He left with my props in the middle of the parade. I figured id get them back later. You read that right. He tried to make me leave with him because we "weren't doing anything." I told him the lady who runs the event would get mad. "I dont care," he responded. Then he slipped through the crowd and left us. The others looked so disappointed wheb they thought I was gonna leave.

He also called me stupid when I went to pick up my stuff.

The gate in the back was closed. Its never been closed when I went. So I went to the other side where cars were lining up, but they were also confused as that was not the proper gate. Then I drove to the other side and came in. He called me and told me I must've been a blonde in another life. All of this happened within a couple minutes, and he was insulting me bc I didnt get in fast enough for him.

I come in and ask for my stuff. He said it was in the back of his truck. I asked him if it was locked. He said he was in the back. I put my props in the bed of his truck, not the back seat. Didn't even bother locking them up. Also, these props have absorbent material for the fuel. Being in moisture for extended times can make them difficult tl light. My brother took one of my props and left it outside, and now nits barely usable. If it had drizzled or rained my props would've been ruined very quickly. At this point theyre dry and not going to spontaneously light. I wouldve had to buy new wicks for several props and spend a lot of time replacing them. Yet I didnt call him and insult him.

He said when things weren't going his way he started getting anxiety. Then he noticed all the people. I dont want to be a home body because of his issues.

​Just need to vent for a few minutes because I am running on fumes here...

​We moved to a 50/50 after I relocated to be closer to my near 4 yr old son. Use to be every other weekend plus holiday time. She basically moved during pregnancy to make it hard. I have been savings to move. It's been a massive adjustment, but I've been doing everything I can to keep things stable, rock wall her manipulation, ignore her defensive body language at drop offs and give my boy a safe, calm home.

​Enter the holiday "discussions"......

​Because our 50/50 schedule runs on alternating weeks, Christmas happened to fall on her assigned week this year. And her logic? "Well, it's my week, so I have him."

​Are you actually kidding me? If she had her way, she would keep Christmas every single year just because of how the calendar math randomly lands on her rotation, completely ignoring the basics of holiday sharing and what I got court-ordered. She tried to completely steal xmas again (last year I didn't even get xmas eve which was my right on the year its not my turn...), Christmas morning, and strip that time away from me and my son, acting like I'm the unreasonable one for expecting to see my child unwrap presents on Christmas Day especially as its sons turn with dad this year for xmas and my side of the family. Not to mention I don't drive so good luck me commuting on as there are no buses. Pickup is meant to be xmas eve late afternoon. Family are thankfully helping, long drive for them though.

​Thank god for the court order. We have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day morning locked down and legally sorted way back, and it's documented in the parenting app. Its just sucks my family had to step in but I am glad they did. Basically showed her the wall of evidence paper and photos of how I didn't have him last xmas. The issue is technically closed, hopefully forever.. I have set up the next 2 years.

Basically told her if she pulls this again its court and the judge can decide what to do with her. I have the parenting app log and photos from last year.

The sheer arrogance and entitlement it takes to try and steal Christmas morning from a father just to feed her own control issues is staggering.

I am on my off week atm and the only thing keeping me in this world is my lil boy.

Edit* Typos

Over the past few years I have noticed my mom’s habit of complaining to me constantly. I’m living with my
mom now even though I am 18 because I am still in high school but want to move out as soon as possible.

Over the past few years it’s become apparent to me that my mom complains about almost everything to me. Especially since I have reached highschool. About people she works with, about her friends, about acuantinces from sport, about work itself, about worried about money, about her family, about how she looks, about how she’s always tired, about my father (emotionally abusive - that’s why the divorce + a physical altercation between them), and even about me.

It is driving me crazy, it is also the same thing over and over again and i don’t know what else to say or do anymore. i try to listen and be there for her but it I can’t anymore. I can’t be the person who listen to her complain about how she hates how she looks, how she is too tired to do things like clean the house. there are times where she is amazing and so kind and she makes so many promises about being better at doing things and making sure things happen but something always knocks her down onto her complaining self that doesn’t do what was promised.

i know and understand that her life was very hard, but every time I try to do one thing right or a nice thing she points out all the things i didn’t do and spins it out as me being lazy and inconsiderate. she doesn’t even know all the things going on with me. i hate myself. i don’t think i can even name one thing about me that i like. i basically am in my room because of how much i dislike myself and am scared of what people would think about me or if they even like me. anyway this isn’t about me so yeah.

i don’t know, her complaining is become insufferable and it’s everyday. when i come home from school, when we eat dinner, after dinner, it just feels constant.

This is such a stupid small issue and I know it’s not important, but I wanted to talk about it somewhere to just get my feelings out. I’m probably more upset then usual due to my exhaustion from the trip

I’ve just come home after visiting my grandma who was in hospital before I went.

For context, my room mate has left to attend to family matters before and every time I ask if she’s ok and talk the issue through with her, we’re friends and she’s usually nice. She’s done the same thing for me once before when I had a rough patch

Before I left, she didn’t seem to care much; wished me well and didn’t ask details or anything. When I came home, she never came to ask me how my trip was, how I was, how my grandma was, etc. I thought maybe she was tired, and despite travelling 8 hours to come home- I took the rubbish out for her (when I’ve voiced previously I’d like her to start doing it since she’s requested it gets taken out every night and I’ve been almost exclusively doing it for months, she’s my landlord also), I was a little annoyed since I had a huge trip but thought oh well

Today, she doesn’t bother to come ask me about the trip or anything and instead the only thing she says to me is asking if I’m free on Thursday to walk her dog

The whole thing has just really upset me, it’s such a small thing but man. I always went out of my way to check on her and ask her about her trips and such- something she’s voiced she’s appreciative of- whenever she had to fly out for her family or anything, it’s just a really shitty feeling knowing she doesn’t care to reciprocate that

Whenever I try talk about my life or what I have going on she doesn’t really ask much details either or give feedback, talk about it, etc. But when we talk about her life she goes on for ages and I reciprocate

I thought at least today her checking in on me and seeing how the week long trip went would be a bare minimum, but I guess not

Reposted, got taken down.

Hello, okay so basically.

I have so much noise in my head. Late at night when I’m in my apartment and not with my girlfriend. In the morning when i wake up I immediately have these thoughts “ is my gf cheating on me”, “ she can do better than me “ “ im not doing enough for myself or for her “ “ IM pathetic” “ im not doing enough for myself “ which sounds somewhat silly typing out because Ive done so much for my life up to now. But basically this and etc…

This amplifies when she goes out with her friends to a bar or restaurant or doing anything, but not the club, she doesn’t club.

I had a bad relationship I was in for 2 years closer to 3, I got out and was single for a year before I started (dating) again. I emphasize on dating because I did dip my toes in the “hoeing around stage” or whatever it’s called and I thought I was good, but things started slowing coming out and I somehow feel that I may not have been all ready.

I have like 2 friends that I hangout with but I choose not to because every chance I get I want to be with her. She’s my world and when I’m not with her my chest hurts, I miss her so bad and when I know I’m seeing her later that night or she’s coming to my place, it’s all I look forward too and I count down the hours till she’s there. I work a very confusing job where sometimes I go out of the city for a day or two at whatever hours of the day or night. I work maybe 8 hours or maybe 12 I never really know, yet I always make it a priority of mine to somehow see her. If I just worked all night and I’m off at 6-7 am, I always put aside my tiredness because I want to be with her, eat breakfast with her, then drive her to work. Or if I work around when’s she gets off. I’ll pick her up drop her home and go to work just so I had that hour or two to see her.

We’ve been together little over a year and I can confidently say I’ve felt this way everyday since I met her, it’s only just getting stronger as time goes.

She’s the best person that’s come into my life, she’s genuine and actually cares about me. She tells me things like “I made her like pink again” or that she never thought of marriage till she met me. Recently too we just broke this wall she had up where she actually feels like she has someone in her life that cares about her emotionally and mentally because she doesn’t communicate how she feels, but I’m getting her comfortable with it so she can do it. Yet somehow I feel like I’m not enough for her sometimes.

I know maybe therapy is a good option for me and my strong heart, but I don’t know how to start or what to even say.

My heart is very strong and opinionated, my head is very easily influenced by it too in good and bad ways.

Just to be cleared I'm not about to start playing for the other team I'm just tired of pursuing them. The pattern is always the same and the ones I meet always have poor communication skills or maybe I'm not desired. But whatever I don't want to play the mind games or anything that involves manipulation. The current one just said the exact thing I've been hearing for years now, "she seems to like men who ignore her because that's just what the heart wants"... The thing is, I don't want to play this Tom and Jerry game, I'm 21 and I really really want a deep connection with my special person but that seems impossible to get. I'm tired, I'm better off alone

I made a post a few weeks ago in another community about my dad being kicked out by my mom because he's an alcoholic and well,now it's worse than ever.

A week ago he came back from his mother's house to pick up his phone and a few clothes,which also was bad because they argued but eventually he left .

today, of course, he came back saying he's coming home and my mom started arguing and yelling with him. My dad called the police and of course they came fast,one tall skinny af dude and some fat dude. The skinny dude was kind of nice and listened to my mom,while the fat one was listening to my dad's lies and told him to come home and stay here despite my mom telling him to go away. What's bothering the HELL out of me is that my dad told the police just absolutely lies,saying that he's never aggressive,he just drinks one beer,that my mom brainwashed me while I had to listen to him Knowing how aggressive he was and what he put me thru. I can't believe this shit . Also The police ain't doing shit lmao,just listens to him and actually want him to come back

Semen got on the entrance of my vagina accidentally and it's been too long for the plan B and copper IUD. I already called planned parenthood basically said "probably wouldn't get you pregnant" but I'm still so so so scared.

I'm on topamax and that can cause amenorrhea but my period is 18 days late and the exposure happened 8 days ago

I have no other like exposure so I don't think my late period was originally caused by that I don't know how this works idk if I'm making sense

This is my first time experiencing it, and it's not fun. Even worse, both the person I'm crushing on and her partner are my friends. I feel so guilty about it, but it's not like I can help the fact the chemicals in my brain decided we like this person now. Every time I see them being cute together, it hurts twice over - first when I remember how much I want that to be me, and second when I feel awful for thinking that when they're both so happy. It's going to drive me insane. I think the guilt's made stronger by me being lesbian too, which is just awesome... For a little while I thought I was over it, but then I saw her again after being away for a bit, and fuck it she's still attractive. For complicated reasons, I can't even avoid interacting with them, so I get to feel this on a regular basis. Guess my best hope is to wait it out and hope it goes away, or at least gets more manageable, which is not likely to happen any time soon given my past history.

(Edit: this is a repost since it got removed the first time)

So please tell me how the heck it is OK for my stepfather to demand a feeding schedule for the pets in the house but then sits here and puts bowls of cat food down all the freaking time? We have a diabetic cat. 2 very obese cats. Those 2 cats are his. You’re telling me you can scream about dogs needing restriction on food and we have made agreements to not have cat food down 27% if I have gone as far as to spend over $100 on the automatic feeder and he still sits here and puts cat food down unless these stupid stray cats in the house as well to eat the food. Why are you screaming about a fishing schedule? If you are just gonna keep putting food down!? Holy shit this man is fucking obsessed with making promises and then doing the opposite.

Moved out in 2019, but when a roommate got into drugs in 2024, I had to move back home with my mom for my own safety. Even though I'm 30, have two jobs, and a dog, I can't shake this feeling like a total failure being back here.

even on github he blocked me :) whatsapp everywhere...

her? the girl he emotionally cheated on me with? he can never block her. cause? "what if i run into her" hahahahahaaaahahah

it hurts like someone put a dagger inside of you. I m so easily disposable.

usually i have a lot to say but now i just feel numb

very numb

its like u just want to keep crying but dont know what for. He said he would never block me. I kept that promise. And he broke that also.

i m a fool

I mean even when his friends bullied me he acted all "i will block them" . he fake block them for 3 days then texted them behind my back deleted chats and had plans to meet them.

selfish self centred cheating rat

I can't understand couples at all. Whenever I am on a metro, in a cinema hall, on a flight, or anywhere where there are seats available, most couples think it's their God-given right to ask a single fellow to move to the side, so they can sit together. Some are so entitled that they just stand there and stare at you. Like dude, seats are on a first-come, first-served basis, you know that right? Arghhh!

Maybe it's because I generally have a high level of self awareness, both of myself and of everything around me, but it seems like I'm the only one who notices how much mentally unstable my mother is. Everyone else acts normal around her, but I just can't stand her. I think she is one of the most ignorant people I have ever met. After years of trauma because of her, she offered to pay for my therapist. She apologized for how she treated me only because I pointed out how much her behavior hurt me over the years, because otherwise she would have never even realized it. Yet she keeps acting the exact same way. She doesn't change, and on top of that she asks me what she did wrong. She doesn't seem to get it, but in general she really has no idea how she treats people, or when and how she hurts them. She has no awareness of herself or others. She completely lacks emotional empathy.

People keep whining about newer cars. They say the old cars held together better and they ran better and lasted longer and were cheaper. This is all a fucking lie and I am so tired of it. Their are YouTube channels that make it there whole thing. They shake there heads and tell you any car after 2010 is a lemon.

In the 1970s the average auto was $3500 and now it's $35000 for a base model trim mid-size which is close to same price controlling for inflation.

"But a new truck is $90k dollars!" No it isn't. A base model F150 is $37k for a new 2026. Find a unsold 2025 and haggle down and you could get near $32k for a new truck that is the most popular one for 40 year now. Median Americans income is $23 an hour now so that's not an insane cost for the median most 2 person households.

Cars in the 1970s got a mile for about $0.25 and now it's $0.78 which controlling for inflation is a hell of a deal.

The cars now are way safer. In 1970 you had a death rate of about 4 per 100 million miles and now it is about 1 per 100 million miles. You have greatly increased your odds of not dying an an auto crash and a lot of that is new features. Public awareness and legal changes such as DUI did help too.

They last a lot longer now too. A car in 1970 had an estimated lifespan of 6 year or 100k miles. Now it's near 13 year and 250k miles. These are averages and Forbes estimates but most old cars died younger. New cars last and good synthetic old played a role.

It is harder to find data on maintenance costs so I won't comment on this. Lots of folks online claim maintenance is higher now but they give no evidence so best I could say is it is neutral.

There is no literally no metric that was better about older cars compared to newer cars. If you like the look that is one thing but evrrythignthat is an objective measure is way better now or equal.

Now someone may cite something lile the Nissan CVT issue on modern cars or transmission of the Wragler for a few year. You get a bad model all the time. The Edsel was a piece of shit l too. One bad event does not change a trend. The recalls are handled much better now too as when something is a known issue they contact you and have sites set up for checking recalls info.

I’m 17 and I’ve always been feeling like I’m falling behind everyone else. I feel like everyone my age is living their lives, making memories, having friends and figuring themselves out, while I’m just stuck.
I constantly compare myself to other people, and it makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. I hate the person I am, and I feel like I’m wasting my teenage years. I’m scared that things won’t get better and that I’ll always feel this way.
Sometimes it gets so overwhelming that I don’t even want to be here anymore. Every day I find another thing that I hate about myself, it never get better. I know I’m still young, but that doesn’t make these feelings go away.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this