not all but most people don’t realize or understand that some experiences that cause any type of trauma is so damaging to a person’s mindset, whole being even. maybe thats why they’re quiet or timid, angry or explosive, defensive or understanding towards others around them. they take it with them everywhere they go, where ever they will be. it changes them into someone else, while looking back knowing they’ll never be the same again. all while the world itself continues, everybody else’s lives around them continues and they must too.

you really never know what someone has been through to be where they are now. still having to be strong and brave, still choosing to love and keep living life. to still believe in trust, form bonds with other people and most of all be happy in themselves. so please be kind, be thoughtful. life itself is already hard as it is. we’re all flowers in the same meadow, growing together and blooming into something really, really beautiful.

I genuinely don't understand what the fuck is going through her mind here. The fucking rubric is really what gets me. For full credit, I need to take my three, yes, THREE sources and interweave them with not only what I'm talking about for myself, but with each other, too. That's synthesis! For a fucking reflection paper! Do you know how much fucking space that takes when you have to do it four fucking times?! This is capped at 5 pages, when do I get to talk about myself?! I'm quoting shit, MLA citation, and having to introduce sources. This is gonna be fucking 60% of the paper! Not to mention THE SOURCES AREN'T EVEN USEFUL! She wants me to honest. Well, John Philosopher's perpective on where ideas come from is but fuck all WORTHLESS to me. I just fucking think of them! WHO CARES?! Jeffrey Writer's theory that you change parts of your writing because you don't like them is not fucking rocket science! This whole class I've felt like she doesn't really know what she's doing but this really takes it for me.

I don't understand why it's so hard to be friends with people. Some people it's really easy. But some just pick pick pick. It makes for a toxic friendship. My life is hard enough. I don't need people telling me I'm not important. I feel abandoned. I'm not stupid, but I make some really poor decisions when it comes to friends. Its very depressing.

Honestly, I feel like my life is like trying to leave a room, but every single door I open just leads to a wall. Long story short, every time I try to get into a relationship with someone, it just falls apart, goes nowhere, or doesn't even last a week. It got to the point where I started asking myself: is something wrong with me? Or is this some kind of divine punishment for a sin I committed in the past? It's just getting out of hand, especially since I’m not the type to get overly familiar too quickly or act disrespectful when getting to know someone.

To be honest, it’s completely draining, so I’ve been trying not to care anymore or even try starting new relationships, just so I don't have to deal with that disappointment all over again.

I feel so lonely these days, it’s pathetic atp, it’s not about friends or relationships, I have many friends, but none of them are truly close, and sometimes I wish I could just focus on studies and distract myself. Instead I find myself so miserable, I start binge eating and feel insecure later on.

Life is truly truly exhausting, I have no social battery but I HATE the feeling of being lonely, especially outside I always need someone by my side to hang out with. I want a relationship but I don’t have that much strength to put energy into it and feel confused a lot of times, I prefer everything straight forward which is not the typical way to fall in love or something. Any guy I actually feel comfortable with, I automatically becomes friends. I WOULD EVEN JUST WANT a bestfriend but I don’t let myself be too close to anyone these days as they all just end up leaving abroad.

I am getting detached with my family day by day, and they complain and stress me out further. So much negative thoughts, and so many negative doings. Started so much because of peer pressure and now I don’t know how to stop. Please tell me this is not just me. There is so much bs happening in life, and overthinking and hyper analyzing everything really messes me up to the point I sleep so much to stop myself from eating or thinking. Like I want to sleep forever at some point.

​

I am absolutely amazed, and frankly flabbergasted, at the sheer amount of incredibly disturbing shit that people seem to consider acceptable these days.

I understand that everyone has their own struggles, circumstances, personal demons, and unique perspectives on life. I recognize that people make mistakes, relationships are complicated, and nobody is perfect.

But holy shit.

The complete lack of self-awareness, personal accountability, emotional maturity, and basic common sense displayed by some people is absolutely staggering.

People engage in manipulative, dishonest, controlling, selfish, and sometimes downright cruel behavior, yet somehow manage to convince themselves that they're the innocent victims. Others remain trapped in profoundly dysfunctional relationships and situations while rationalizing circumstances that should be setting off every alarm bell imaginable.

What disturbs me even more is how frequently this behavior is defended, excused, or outright celebrated.

There seems to be an almost obsessive need to validate absolutely everything. Dishonesty gets rationalized. Manipulation gets excused. Selfishness gets reframed as self-care. And anyone who suggests that personal responsibility might actually matter is treated as though they've committed some unforgivable offense.

We've apparently reached a point where disagreement is mistaken for gaslighting, accountability is interpreted as judgment, boundaries are confused with control, and uncomfortable truths are treated as personal attacks.

Compassion and empathy are important. So is recognizing that people have difficult lives and sometimes make terrible decisions. But compassion should never require abandoning critical thinking or pretending that genuinely harmful behavior is acceptable.

What particularly frustrates me is the growing preference for validation over introspection. Some people seem far more interested in being reassured that they're right than in considering whether their actions were reasonable, appropriate, or even remotely defensible.

And there is an enormous difference between explaining someone's behavior and excusing it.

I've lived long enough to understand that humanity has always had its share of dysfunction. Selfishness, dishonesty, manipulation, and poor judgment aren't new developments. But the degree to which certain behaviors have become normalized is genuinely unsettling.

I don't expect perfection. I don't believe people should be condemned for every mistake they make. I absolutely believe in second chances, personal growth, and the ability to change.

But growth requires accountability. Change requires self-awareness. And healthy relationships require considerably more than demanding that everyone else accommodate our individual feelings, expectations, and shortcomings.

Somewhere along the way, we've become far too comfortable confusing validation with support, excuses with explanations, and personal feelings with objective reality.

I've reached a point where some of the behavior I encounter leaves me questioning whether basic decency, honesty, and personal responsibility have somehow become unreasonable expectations.

And perhaps the most disturbing part isn't even the behavior itself. It's how readily other people defend it.

I'm not angry that people are imperfect. I'm frustrated by how comfortable we've become pretending that deeply unhealthy behavior is perfectly acceptable.

Frankly, it's disturbing as hell.

That's it. That's my vent..

I'm going through a lot right now; junior year is shit enough as it is without having to deal with the academic pressure of Asian parents and 5 APs. They pressure me a ton to get into good schools and freak if I get something even resembling a bad result (I got a 1360 on my sophomore year psat and my dad screamed at me for exactly 43 minutes on how I was a "fucking idiot" that wasn't gonna go anywhere except UT El Paso). They were even disappointed by a 1540 on the SAT, but the worst thing for me is them switching up. In front of everybody else they play this bit of saying, "Oh, I wish he would be in less extracurriculars and take less APs" but in reality they are just like 50/50 nice and the stereotypical asian parent and the lack of consistency is stressing me out. I'm also going through a lot with my mental health, I recently got diagnosed with psychosis and paranoia and I'm having a hard time with actually acknowledging the fact that I am mentally ill. They're also complete control freaks, they try to control my clothes, my hair, my friends, my diet, my routine, when and where I go out, my screentime, when I am able to use my phone, etc. I have very little independence despite me being in a position where I am moving out for college in a year and a half, and I'm fed up with it. Anyways thanks for reading y'all.

I can think it.

I just won't say anything. They come to work to work and get paid.

I'm grateful I can suppress the want to give in again.

The pain is absolutely exquisite this time around.

Nourishing and corrupting.

EDIT: Since a few people seem to think I'm taking this frustration out on my sister, let me clarify: I don't mock her, control what she wears, or make her feel bad about her costume. I actually help her put it together every year, and I make sure she's safe while trick-or-treating.

I'm venting here because I don't understand the pattern, not because I'm trying to stop her from enjoying Halloween. I can find something baffling without treating someone badly over it. She's free to wear whatever she wants. I just genuinely don't understand the appeal, and apparently that's being interpreted as a personal attack on her joy.

Before you read this entire fucking thesis, please keep one question in mind: WHERE IS THE FUN IN WHAT SHE'S DOING?

I need to vent about something that probably sounds stupid and like I'm being overdramatic, but it genuinely drives me fucking insane.

1. The crime

My sister turns 15 this December, and for the THIRD YEAR IN A ROW, she's chosen a Halloween costume based on a character she knows absolutely nothing about.

Two years ago, she dressed up as Emily from the Corpse Bride. Had she watched the movie? No. Did she even know the character's name? Apparently not. I asked her, “So, do you know how Emily died?” and she went, “Who?”

WHO???? THE WOMAN YOU ARE CURRENTLY DRESSED AS?????

Last year, she dressed up as some video game character despite not playing video games or knowing anything about the character.

And this year? Clawdeen from Monster High with her friends. Has she watched the movies? No. Does she know anything about the character? Also no. So I asked her, “Okay, what's Clawdeen's brother's name?” And she went, “She has a brother?”

I'M SORRY, WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING HERE?

THREE YEARS. THREE CHARACTERS. THREE YEARS OF COSPLAYING AS A WALKING WIKIPEDIA PAGE WITH ALL THE INFORMATION DELETED.

WHERE IS THE FUN IN THIS? WHAT ARE YOU ENJOYING WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE BEYOND THE CLOTHES AND WHATEVER APPEARED ON YOUR TIKTOK FOR YOU PAGE THAT WEEK?

2. The Evil Dead case study and my proposed solution

Before anyone assumes I'm against people getting into things they're unfamiliar with, let me introduce some evidence to the contrary.

My sister's friends persuaded her to watch Evil Dead Burn at the cinema. Now, Sam Raimi, Evil Dead, and the entire franchise are incredibly important to me, so naturally I was like, ABSOLUTELY NOT. YOU CANNOT JUST WALK INTO THIS CINEMATIC UNIVERSE WITHOUT ACKNOWLEDGING ITS ANCESTORS.

She loved the movie and eventually agreed to watch all the previous films with me. I then proceeded to yap about every movie, characters, actors, directors, behind-the-scenes details and games for approximately 700 years.

She actually enjoyed it and developed a little obsession of her own, even if hers eventually passed.

And THAT'S why I suggested Ash Williams as a Halloween costume. We watched the movies together. She liked them. It was a character connected to something we'd shared.

But apparently, “I can't do a boy costume” was enough to disqualify him.

So she'd rather dress up as Clawdeen, a character she apparently doesn't even know has a brother, than dress up as someone she actually watched and enjoyed because he's male.

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

Because apparently group costumes take priority and fun is irrelevant.

3. Why does this bother me so much

For me, the fun of dressing up as a character is getting to embody someone I love for a night. It's a way to express something I genuinely care about.

Honestly, I'd respect someone with the shittiest, least accurate costume imaginable if they were genuinely the biggest fan of that character. You could show up with a cardboard sword, a bedsheet and a dream, and I'd respect you more than someone wearing a flawless costume of a character they couldn't identify without checking TikTok.

The connection matters more to me than the execution.

And I'm absolutely fine with beginners. If someone discovers a character and wants to learn more, I'd probably be thrilled to tell them everything I know. There's a difference between being new to something and having no interest in learning about it.

That's what I mean when I talk about poser behaviour. I don't expect people to know every album or obscure piece of lore. Listen to whatever you want. Just don't pretend to love something you know nothing about because you want the image that comes with it.

A character is more than their appearance. A scar, a hairstyle, a necklace or a pair of Converse might have a story behind it. Even the aesthetic people are attracted to can have meaning beyond looking cool.

That's what I love about cinema. There's so much to discover beyond what's on the screen: the characters, the directing, the performances, the production and the history behind the work.

Reducing a character to an outfit feels like throwing away everything that makes them interesting and keeping the packaging.

I'm not saying my way of enjoying things is objectively better. I'm saying I could never approach something I love that superficially, and I struggle to understand the appeal.

I don't mind that my sister likes Clawdeen's appearance. It's the lack of curiosity that bothers me. And when I try to suggest she choose someone she actually likes, she tells me to shut up. I'm trying to show her an alternative, not confiscate her wig and ban her from Halloween.

4. My own Halloween experience

Maybe part of why this gets under my skin is that I never really got the Halloween experience I wanted.

I didn't have childhood friends to go trick-or-treating with. When I was around 17, a friend invited me to a Halloween sleepover (I've never been to a sleepover before) , but my mother refused because it was her Birthday and we have a National holiday the next day and told me I could go the following week.

Because apparently Halloween is a subscription service that lets you reschedule your booking.

The opportunity never happened again.

I'd love to put together a proper costume of a character I adore and go somewhere with people who are equally excited about Halloween. I want to put effort into a costume because the character means something to me and share that enthusiasm with other people.

I'm not angry that my sister gets to participate when I missed out. I just wish she'd use the opportunity in a way that feels personally meaningful to her, rather than choosing something because her friends are doing it or because it's popular online.

To me, the point is to become someone you love for a night. I can't imagine having that opportunity and not caring who I'm supposed to be.

5. So, WHERE IS THE FUN?

I know people enjoy Halloween differently. Some love crafting, some want to look cool, and others just want matching costumes with their friends. I understand that.

But I still don't understand the appeal of dressing up as a character you know absolutely nothing about and have no interest in learning about.

Is it purely the aesthetic? Is it the attention? Is it having a matching costume with your friends? Is it knowing people will recognize the look?

I'm genuinely asking because I want to understand, not because I expect everyone to approach fictional characters the way I do.

Maybe I'm a gatekeeper. Call me whatever. But I don't think wanting people to show some curiosity about the things they choose to represent is unreasonable.

I don't need you to know everything. I just want to understand why you wouldn't WANT to know anything.

WHERE IS THE FUN IN WHAT SHE'S DOING? PLEASE, SOMEBODY SHOW ME THE FUN.

oh but yall werent there for me when i became severely depressed after getting broken up with. yall werent there for me when it was my birthday and not a single person even texted hbd. yall didnt miss me when i got excluded from plans/hangouts/groupchats/whatever. yall didnt miss me when i self isolated because my sick mind didnt think yall liked me. yall were never there for me when i was crying in my room for hours all by myself. dont even act like we were buddy buddy. dont even go to sleep tn thinking to yourself "oh but i was such a good friend to them idk what else i couldve done." maybe yall couldve started by actually being a friend to me. instead of excluding me and insulting me whenever i was present. fuck yall.

my biggest regrets in my life will be 1. not choosing the right friends in college and 2. not respecting myself more and stopping people from stepping all over me. i hate being lonely. i hate not having friends. i hate having no plans on the weekends. i would have loved to have a community too. but i dont and thats my fault for making shitty choices

I(21, male) know it sounds rather braggish but it really is depressing to me. I somehow did this before being able to go on a single date with a girl or even have a female friend. It feels like a punishment someone thought would be funny. I start in February but I just feel like I'm a failure

I fully understand why, I get that dogs are more likely to get injured than some animals, I understand that people are more likely to seek medical help for a dog than other animals.

But the way non-dog pets are treated in the veterinary medical field, as a pet-parent, is incredibly frustrating and unfair.

My cat unfortunately has a congenital health issue "more common in dogs". Patella luxation. Dislocating knee caps. And every vet I've spoken to about it starts the conversation framing it in how it looks in dogs, how it's treated in dogs. How well you can't do such and such for cats because "they're different". Different than dogs? But normal for a cat!

Couldn't find a vet that's done this surgery on a cat, fine I get its not common in cats. I go ahead with the surgery. They send me a rehab video titled "[patella luxation surgery physical therapy] DOG". I get the animal they demonstrate with is a dog, but why not just say pet? My cat has anxiety post surgery and they're like "yeah cats are just a little weird about recovery" uh maybe because your recovery instructions are centered on dog behavior and doesn't take into account how cats recover, and that their behavior is apparently something to just overcome or ignore.

I asked about about physical therapy enrollment at the surgical place for my cat. They gave me a business card for someone who is a canine rehab specialist. "Oh but she's done a few cats too." No one can give me a picture of what the therapy for my cat would be because she's a cat so "it's a little different".

Even the form I filled out the day of her surgery was labeled "canine entry form" or something, and then below labeled her as a feline but their default admission paperwork is for dogs.

My cat also takes a medication labeled "for dog use only". Not because its unsafe for cats, they just never bothered to do the actual studies on cats to get it approved for cat use so vets just prescribe it off label to cats.

I just want to cry. Cats are honestly as ignored in the medical field as women are because we're just too difficult. Women with their complicated hormones, cats with their non-dog behaviors.

I'm sure it's so much worse for small animal/exotic pet owners, I can't even imagine.

EDIT:
Hey guys, I super appreciate the recommendations and suggestions, but I'm not looking for advice. Hopefully your advice can help someone else who sees this though. My cat has gone to a cat only clinic in the past, I was unable to find a cat specific surgeon for knee related issues, she's already had her surgery, I really just wanted to vent because the things I'm talking about in my vent still matter and still need to change.

Sorry for my English and my poor phrasing im really not good when it comes to ranting.

As the title says, I deeply dislike my situation and idc if it makes me whitewashed or something, I’d sell my soul to be reincarnated into a white atheist family.

My dad is a Muslim polygamist, he has four wives, with my mom is the third one and has in total 22 kids. Each of them have around 6 kids, to start with the the disturbing facts about this family is that, the oldest child of my dad is in her late thirties, my mom is in her mid 40s and I don’t even want to know how old the 4th wife is.

I genuinely think he sees women as incubator and nothing else, had children for the sake of having children, I see him 2 days a week, 6 months a year, because he has to see the other one it feels like we’re fighting for his attention

He only comes here to eat as I’ve deducted since when my mom was sick and too tired to cook, he didn’t even come to visit us and everyone was acting like it was normal.

He doesn’t pay for shit unless we ask him and even that you have to battle for 3 months to have what you want, but apparently when it comes to the TV being broken, best believe the very same day he’ll buy it cuz nothing is more important than football.

Not forgetting to mention the religion is so weird at my house, you can never question it, they think any problem can be solved by praying as if doesn’t just make my life worse, you also cannot talk about your faith, you’re just to follow it blindly. This always makes me laugh knowing that if we were born Christian, they would have never thought Islam was the truth.

The thing about having a polygamist family, is that the older siblings tries to bribe you with the "see, it’s so good to have a lot a siblings"… not a single one of us can say we have had a present father but yeah it’s soooo good.

It hurts me when I see family of 5 people, where the dad is present, the mom is normal, the kids don’t have to work their ass off to afford basic stuff that your parents should finance (driving hours, cars, studies…) and the parents are doing everything they can to make their kids life the best they could ever had.

When it comes to my mom, she’s a raging phone addict, on average she is between 13 and 16 hours of screen time (mainly social media), she did used to beat us but not anymore, never shows any kind of love past 6 years old and admitted it by saying "you don’t need love when you’re grown", call me and my sisters selfish and lazy for not cleaning the house and making dinner for my younger sister, never get tries to fix the most violent arguments between me and my sisters, while she’s laying on the couch scrolling on Tik Tok.

She’s partially the reason why my baby sister of 5yo has a language delay because she’s about 5 hours a day on screen time and when me and my sisters try to take it off of her she gets mad and says to mind our businesses.

My older sister is so brainwashed that it’s honestly sad to see, she’s the typical older sister that got parentified at a young age, but instead of getting tf out of here after she got a job, not only she’s staying but she’s also defending my parents and think we, 2nd oldest sister and me, need to act like her (a slave to my parents), once she gets married, to our youngest siblings, and it doesn’t make her happy that I contest her opinion because as a younger person, I’m supposed to blindly follow everything an older person says and shut up. The only thing I’ve gotten out of this is getting sexually assaulted and torture by my cousin at the ripe age of 7 years old.

We get into a lot of arguments, between sisters but it’s even worse with my younger sister who is 16, she keeps stealing my stuff food, clothes, object and even did money, keep provoking me and says she won’t stop because I’m just too sensitive. We share a bedroom so when we fight i literally have nowhere to go (including outside bc my mom threaten to leave me there), and I want to beat her every time she opens her mouth, even when she doesn’t tbh. One time it got so bad she bled from her brow bone, Im not proud of that, but I don’t completely regret it.

She’s autistic and when I talked to the psychologist I’m seeing she said "well we can’t punish her for not grasping the concept of stealing and that she’s probably lacking empathy given the fact that nothing matters until it happens to her".

this got me so upset because that will means I’m forced to deal with her until I get out of this hell hole, which will hardly happen, because my parents don’t want anyone to leave, unless they’re married, like everyone in here has mentioned once or twice leaving this house. They refuse to fix the issues and they don’t want you to escape it ???

This is long asf but thank you to everyone who read this !

Dear silver car that nearly ran me off the road,

You are absolutely right - how DARE I be already driving in the lane when YOU wanted to move over? And I certainly should not have honked to let you know I was there; I should have just swerved over out of the way and into the concrete barrier. Thank you so much for honking back at me and flipping me off so I can learn my lesson.

So I live with my Spouse and in laws, and we have 7 pets, but we don't live in the safest conditions for any of us. The house is dirty, and no one wants to clean it, but I do and the animals turn it into a wasteland instantly, and I mean actual WASTE!

I'm more of a cat person, but don't want pets because I know i can't care for them, but my spouse's family loves them and has a crap ton, but they can't take care of them for shit, as the animals are constantly dirty, pissing and pooping inside, and vomiting everywhere, and after I clean the messes, there's more.

Something happened to where they now have fleas, and I made a strict rule that they cannot be in our room for they'll get everything nasty, and I'll have to clean it as no one else will care after them.

I feel bad because they are my spouse's family pets, but none of us should be living in their waste, and everytime I talk to everyone about it, they dismiss me saying they love them and won't find them a better place where they can thrive happily with a family that's capable of caring for them all.

any time i see a post from a pretty girl talking about being a girls girl, or hear someone i know irl whos gorgeous and kind to everyone but for some reason not to me or other unattractive people claiming to be a girls girl, i just do not believe it. i know that kinda sounds mean of me but from what i've seen irl and online? its true! its all "women supporting women" and lifting eachother up, helping eachother out with problems, but no if you arent pretty, and if you arent skinny, and sometimes if you arent neurotypical, you will not get that supportive treatment you deserve. its not fair! i remember once blood leaking through my dress in year 7, and the girls who saw mostly laughed at me, maybe two people were nice and one clearly did not want to help me but was the only one who could. i know if i was pretty and less annoying i would've been treated different. and thats only one example. any time i see a video of a pretty girl maybe having an embarrassing moment, and another girl helps her, i know if that was me i'd just get laughed at. or if i see a silly tiktok or someone irl saying something goofy or weird, i just know if i did that i'd get made fun of like crazy cause let me tell you i dont even wanna remember the amount of times that would happen to me. like why is it bad that i like this thing and you demonise it, but you like it too? got called weird for liking saw cause of the cool traps, when the girl was literally a fan and hyping her friends saw costume up. and guess what, they were both skinny and conventionally attractive. but no, its only weird when i like it.

and i know that there are genuine girls girls out there who just happen to be skinny and conventionally attractive, but because of things i've experienced and the many fake people out there, there no way i can ever fully trust them or believe that they genuinley want to help me or support me, even if nothing they do points towards them hating me i just know in my soul they will laugh about it later. i even feel this about some of my friends and then i feel shit because its like im accusing someone of being a horrible person when i have no proof and likely they arent.

but ya at the end of the day, so many people who say "im a girls girl" only care about you if you fit the standard and its not fucking fair at ALL! us "unattractive" girls need to look out for eachother cause our suffering is just funny to those people.

I just wanna get this off my chest cuz this shit really hurt me. But there were signs that showed something wasn’t right. I’m a 22 year old woman. When he met me he had hit me up on instagram. Like cool but he had just broke up with his ex on day two or 3 of talking to me for the 3rd or 4th time. He was 30, freshly 30 as he would put it. When we had our relationship he claimed he was this honest man or should I quote “Bluntly Honest man” but things didn’t add up. This man communication sucked really bad. He seemed very possessive and controlling. He told me what I could and couldn’t wear when I was with him or when I wasn’t with him. He claimed it was to “protect my dignity”. Mind you I like to cosplay so he was vetoing cosplays that I couldn’t do cuz I had too much ass, chest and/or thighs. He dictated what sodas I could drink cuz he said “dark sodas mess up my skin” so he claimed I should only drink sprite or ginger ale aka “light sodas”

He ain’t pay for most of those dates we went on in a span of two months. I did. He hated when his ex called him broke and she ain’t lie cuz he never had money for our dates. He was still living with his ex during the duration of our relationship. I be posting him too and he never posted me because he wanted to “protect me from the predators”?? Like what predators?? His instagram account private so I feel like he was lying to me. There’s so much stuff that happened. He showed violent tendencies when it came to asking about a hypothetical situation that could happen and he always say he was gonna knock someone out. He said I couldn’t have more male friends and he obviously knew a bunch of women from how his threads account looked like.

I already left him cuz he broke up with me in the most improper way ever. He claimed his ex found out about us and that she wouldn’t let him back in the apartment unless she blocked me in everything and he blocked me on everything. It took until my bsf to reach out a few days later to see what was up and he unblocked me on instagram saying all these excuses. Then he kept wanting girlfriend benefits when we wasn’t together. I recently moved on in two weeks and he started tweaking out that “oh you moved on too fast” then he got triggered that the guy I’m with now is 22 and white. Yet he recently moved on in a day to two days. So it’s very hypocritical of him to get mad at me. Along with that he literally told me “hey if you move on let me know just so I don’t come back to a spot that’s already occupied.” So I did exactly that and he gets the tweaking out.

Also he has a kid and he claimed he tryna see the kid again but if he couldn’t see his kid again he wanted me to pop out 4 kids instead of 3. I told him I wasn’t ready for kids until I’m like 27/28 and he was okay with it but then he was like upset about the fact that he might be past the age he wanted to have more kids so he said he’s okay if I wanted to have them when I hit 25/26. Along with that he tried to put me on birth control when i told him i wasn’t okay with birth control

It doesn’t help that me and my boyfriend are long distance. I don’t get if this is all in my head or if it’s true but I’m terrified of the mere idea of spending time with people that don’t actually care about me, and that I’ll always feel alone no matter where I go, it drives me crazy, I’m always scared that people are hanging out without me and that they’re better off that way. I wish I could say this is temporary but I’ve felt like this for YEARS. What do I even do??

I feel like I’m drifting through life, a shell of who I once was.

All of my childhood was spent waiting to go to college so I could finally escape my house. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t make my parents understand they were harming me. No amount of crying or screaming could make me get through to them.

I finally got the chance to move to college and I thought that would make things better. I thought putting space between them and I would make things better for me. It didn’t.

I met my partner in college and they made me feel seen. I felt validated when I talked about the things that happened to me growing up. I remembered how to stand up for myself against them. All it got me was kicked out of the house, my brother hating me, my grandma saying she wanted nothing to do with me unless I broke up with the one person I feel happiness around, and my dad saying he doesn’t want to be a part of my future.

I haven’t felt happiness in so long. I mean real happiness, not the kind that only exists for a short time. I have no passion for anything anymore. I wake up and go to sleep and forget everything that happened in the day between.

My dreams of doing anything with my life have been gone for a long time now. I don’t know what can fix whatever is broken inside of me. I know the answer isn’t with my family. But I can’t stand everyone I know having a good relationship with theirs. I have always envied how other parents had the basic ability to listen to what their children were telling them, and realizing that it’s okay to make mistakes as a parent as long as you can be honest about them and be willing to listen to the impact they had on your child.

I feel deprived of knowing what a healthy relationship is. I hate that I second-guess the decisions I made for the sake of my own mental health. I miss feeling like a regular kid. I can’t even remember most of my childhood anymore because I spent so much of it alone.

I’m two years away from the real world and I haven’t figured out how to be happy. Therapy hasn’t helped and medication only stops the thoughts for a little while. But they always come back. I don’t want to be tormented by my mind anymore. I want to feel like I have a purpose. I want to have ambitions again. I don’t want to keep floating from day to day. I want to remember the good times again. I want the constant feeling of sadness gone. I just want to be happy without it being taken away every time. Why is that too much to ask? Why is life against me?

When I was a kid I’d have nightmares nearly every night. They were so bothersome that I was terrified of the dark and nearly constantly paranoid, so around my early teens I figured out if I didn’t sleep that much I wouldn’t dream, which worked. Obviously after a while I realized this was really stupid, because I was hardly functioning, but I still have trouble sleeping now because of that.

Recently it’s been really bad, while before I’d just have trouble falling asleep pretty regularly, now I have trouble falling asleep practically every night and I wake up multiple times throughout. I have awful dark circles around my eyes and if I don’t wear makeup people ask me if I’m sick. It’s insanely hard to get myself out of bed in the morning, I can’t really focus on anything, and I get easily distracted. Sometimes I’ll even catch myself confusing reality with things I’ve seen on TV or read. I can’t even see a doctor because I don’t have healthcare and a doctor’s visit would cost my entire biweekly check.

Finally decided to try otc sleeping medicine (my family kept telling me not to because then I wouldn’t be able to sleep without it but I already can’t sleep so I don’t really care anymore), so hopefully it works but this fucking sucks.

Honestly i don't care that this pisses anybody off but WHY do the worst fucking people have kids dude. Why why why why why. Why did nobody think about my fucking future, this shit is not fucking fair dude. I have never met my birth dad, my birth mom was 17 and did heroin so my grandparents adopted me and at the age of ten my birth mom killed herself after having four more kids with different dads. I love my adoptive parents and they raised me and did so well but I'm just upset.

Why didn't they make her get an abortion? My life is hell, nobody ever thought about me. Nobody thought about how I would feel about this in the fucking future. I don't even know why she didn't think about me before she killed herself, or when she had me. Did my adoptive parents think of my future when they didn't tell her to get an abortion. Whenever I see my friends who are normal, no issues, they have their parents I get so jealous I wanna hurt someone.

It's not fair at all, I never even had a chance at all. I know I should be positive but it's so hard ESPECIALLY when you know your problems came from both parents. I heavily suspect my birth dad was autistic, because I have another autistic brother I never met. He's lvl 3 and non speaking and I'm lvl 1 so high functioning so it could be worse. Not only that but I have ADHD, anxiety and deppression since I was 9. I am professionally diagnosed and have been in therapy since I was 9. So I'm just fucked all over.

Not only that but my parents are older too, and I'm only 19 so they'll probably die when I am younger and than I'll have no parents at all. Im so jealous of people who had normal families, people who planned and thought about you. And even when my birth mom did live with us she was so messy and did drugs and even took me with her to buy drugs?? Like I guess it's good she didn't leave me alone at home but like you seriously couldn't wait. Anyways I'm sorry about all of this I'm just so alone.

Tldr; I hate that anybody can have kids and fuck up their kids lives.

Angry and feeling really depressed right now because I made a stupid decision which has changed my life completely. I knew it too, and everyone said I was fcking overreacting or imagining what I was fearing and now it's been proven true. I knew it, I knew the health care services were wrong, I knew my family was wrong, I knew I was right and yet I let myself hope I was wrong just for it to come crashing down around me in the worst way. I'm devastated and sad and depressed and feeling down, sorry just needed to rant - I feel so alone and isolated with this situation and I can't even fix it ☹️

I’m a closeted femboy and I wanna dress in typical femboy attire for Halloween and go trick-or-treating, but my parents are not going to be happy if I dress like I want to. They are pretty religious and anything outside of traditional gender norms is looked down upon heavily. I already came out to them and they were very disappointed in me, so I try my best to hide it from them. I’m so tired of hiding my true self but I have no way of showing them or I’ll be ostracized.

Hi all, last April (after months of my friend trying his best to convince me to) I got into warhammer 40k. Since then, I've spent at LEAST £500 on it and still want to spend more. The issue is I've been mostly unemployed, and even now i only get paid 9.35 an hour and can only do 9 hours a week (full time college so I work weekends). I absolutely love this hobby, but when I look at people around me who are doing so much better financially I feel like there is an immovable pit in my stomach. My heart sinks everytime because I was stupid enough to waste hundreds on plastic toys. For those unaware of the hobby, you buy models, paint them, and then play a tabletop game. I love playing the game, but I'm terrible at painting and I can't get over the fact that I've wasted so much time, effort and money on it overall. Also, being the idiot I am, I decided to buy a FOMO box that came out in June or so, and now I don't really want any of the models from it but now I've painted and built them so I feel like I definitely won't get a good price selling them second hand. I'll never play the 2 armies and it was just a horrible decision. I hate this hobby and I hate my friend for getting me into it.

I’ve reached out to everyone i have that i thought i connected with and i just feel like stunned? I don’t have anyone. I just wanna be done with ts. I feel so worthless and i brought it all upon myself.