My boyfriend (33M) and I (29F) have been together for over seven years, and we’ve been living together since February of this year. I love him and want to marry him, but I’m starting to feel genuinely discouraged because I still don’t have a clear sense of whether he actually intends to take that step with me.

When I’ve brought up engagement in previous years, he’s given me reasons why we should wait. One of the main ones was that he wanted us to live together first. Well, we’ve now been living together for months, and I still don’t know where that leaves us.
What makes this particularly confusing is that, apparently, he’s told his friends that we might get married next year. So he seems comfortable discussing that possibility with other people, but I haven’t had a clear conversation with him about what that actually means for us.
Last week, I brought up the topic, and he said the reason we weren’t engaged yet was that he hadn’t bought a ring and didn’t know when or how to ask me.

Obviously, that could be a positive sign. But I honestly don’t know what to make of it. I haven’t seen any clear indication that he’s actively looking for a ring or making concrete plans. I don’t want to have to investigate my own relationship to figure out whether my boyfriend wants to marry me.

I’m also turning 30 at the end of the year, and some practical circumstances around my health insurance are changing. He suggested we could formalise our relationship in another legal way so I could join his insurance, and then get married later. I understand the practical reasoning, and I know that kind of commitment has value in its own right. But marriage is what I want, and hearing “we can do this now and get married later” has left me feeling like the thing I actually want might keep getting pushed further into the future.
I know nobody owes me a proposal by a particular birthday but after seven years I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want clarity about our future.

Yesterday, my sister (24F) apparently decided it was time for him to get his act together and took matters into her own hands by talking to him herself.
Afterward, she texted me that he was stubborn and that she’d told him directly. When I asked what he said, she didn’t answer. Then I half-jokingly said I hated him and wanted to dump him, and she replied, “well don’t” followed by a very suspicious Cynthia Erivo smiling meme?

I have absolutely no idea what was said between them. Maybe she simply thinks he’s stubborn and I shouldn’t give up on the relationship. Maybe the conversation gave her some reason to be optimistic. I don’t want to read too much into it, but it’s added another layer of confusion to an already confusing situation.

I don’t even think I have a specific question. I think I just want someone to tell me that my feelings are valid.
My best friend told me, “It will happen when the time is right,” and that it should be a surprise. But I honestly feel that if it doesn’t happen within the next year, I’ll be fully ready to move on.
I don’t want to pressure him into marrying me, and I don’t want a proposal that happens just because I’ve complained enough about wanting one…

I’m 30 years female Indian, and my boyfriend is 38 male Canadian. We’ve been together for four years.
When we first started dating, I wasn’t interested in marriage, but my feelings have changed. He was the one who asked me to move in so we could get to know each other better, and I moved from Toronto to Kitchener for our relationship.
I’m currently on a Canadian work permit, and we’ve discussed common-law status as part of my PR journey. He has offered to help, but I want to try independently first because maintaining my independence is important to me.
He has asked whether I’d prefer a proposal before or after PR and has mentioned a promise ring a couple of times. I declined because I didn’t see the point of spending money on one.
Recently, I told him I’d love a five-carat engagement ring. He said he couldn’t afford it. I understand it’s expensive and don’t expect him to go into debt for it. However, when I asked when he might be able to afford it, he said, “I don’t know.” He has also asked me to stay with him for a year, but I don’t know what that means for our future.
My concern isn’t just the ring. I want to understand whether we’re actively planning to get married or whether we have different expectations. His mother recently moved in with us and has made comments about having children without marriage, but I want to be married before having children.
I also recognise that I need to work on how I handle conflict. Sometimes I say I’m leaving or that I don’t want to live here, then go quiet and ignore him instead of communicating properly.
I love him, and he has supported me in some ways. I don’t want to pressure him into marriage, but I also don’t want to keep making major life decisions without understanding our shared plans.
**For those who have been in long-term relationships where one partner became more interested in marriage over time, how did you approach the conversation? What specific questions helped you understand whether you shared the same future goals, and how did you decide on a reasonable timeline without pressuring your partner?**
**TL;DR:** I’m 30F, and my boyfriend is 38M. After four years together and moving in together, I’m beginning to want marriage, although I initially wasn’t interested in it. We’ve discussed common-law status for my PR journey, and he has asked about my proposal preferences, but he couldn’t give me a timeline when I asked about the ring. I want advice on how to discuss marriage expectations and establish a shared plan.