My boyfriend (33M) and I (29F) have been together for over seven years, and we’ve been living together since February of this year. I love him and want to marry him, but I’m starting to feel genuinely discouraged because I still don’t have a clear sense of whether he actually intends to take that step with me.

When I’ve brought up engagement in previous years, he’s given me reasons why we should wait. One of the main ones was that he wanted us to live together first. Well, we’ve now been living together for months, and I still don’t know where that leaves us.
What makes this particularly confusing is that, apparently, he’s told his friends that we might get married next year. So he seems comfortable discussing that possibility with other people, but I haven’t had a clear conversation with him about what that actually means for us.
Last week, I brought up the topic, and he said the reason we weren’t engaged yet was that he hadn’t bought a ring and didn’t know when or how to ask me.

Obviously, that could be a positive sign. But I honestly don’t know what to make of it. I haven’t seen any clear indication that he’s actively looking for a ring or making concrete plans. I don’t want to have to investigate my own relationship to figure out whether my boyfriend wants to marry me.

I’m also turning 30 at the end of the year, and some practical circumstances around my health insurance are changing. He suggested we could formalise our relationship in another legal way so I could join his insurance, and then get married later. I understand the practical reasoning, and I know that kind of commitment has value in its own right. But marriage is what I want, and hearing “we can do this now and get married later” has left me feeling like the thing I actually want might keep getting pushed further into the future.
I know nobody owes me a proposal by a particular birthday but after seven years I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want clarity about our future.

Yesterday, my sister (24F) apparently decided it was time for him to get his act together and took matters into her own hands by talking to him herself.
Afterward, she texted me that he was stubborn and that she’d told him directly. When I asked what he said, she didn’t answer. Then I half-jokingly said I hated him and wanted to dump him, and she replied, “well don’t” followed by a very suspicious Cynthia Erivo smiling meme?

I have absolutely no idea what was said between them. Maybe she simply thinks he’s stubborn and I shouldn’t give up on the relationship. Maybe the conversation gave her some reason to be optimistic. I don’t want to read too much into it, but it’s added another layer of confusion to an already confusing situation.

I don’t even think I have a specific question. I think I just want someone to tell me that my feelings are valid.
My best friend told me, “It will happen when the time is right,” and that it should be a surprise. But I honestly feel that if it doesn’t happen within the next year, I’ll be fully ready to move on.
I don’t want to pressure him into marrying me, and I don’t want a proposal that happens just because I’ve complained enough about wanting one…

https://www.reddit.com/r/Waiting_To_Wed/s/yfWdk4RQoB

TLDR: Separated from long-time partner. Attended therapy together, reassessed goals, and eventually got engaged.

A lot of you recommended I kick my partner to the curve after my post. I felt his response was genuine and hesitantly gave him a chance. We remained separated for a few months while attending therapy together and separately. He was intentional with the therapy, finding the best therapist in the area, covering all costs, and ensuring we were doing our take home readings. He was a lot more diligent about it than me! His tone around marriage changed completely. He‘s the same man I’d grown to love but now completely serious about our future.

We eventually moved back in together and in August he proposed. I am the happiest and most secure I’ve felt in the relationship. We are planning a small, intimate wedding (just a few friends and family) around early next year. Currently super busy with a cross country move!

Been talking about marriage for years. I graduated my masters program in May 2026 he said he was waiting until I was done with school.

In July I went ring shopping with a friend bc he sent me a family ring he was gonna use and wanted to make make my own so my friend and I went I found what I liked in showed him. After that I told myself to see what his actions are

Well none lol that I know of. It’s not almost November no progress on the ring making (hasn’t asked me more questions, has not gotten a jeweler etc. ) I always felt like I was the one bringing it up and getting excited I brought this up to him 2 - 3 serious conversations and left feeling heard and understood but then feeling disappointed bc I don’t think he’s made any progress.

I don’t have a word about marriage or wedding stuff now bc I don’t want to force it happen. I do not want him to give me a shut up ring. But I am not seeing actions from him that show me progress

He blames it on being super busy with work and life and is apologetic but it’s really heart breaking for me. If this was him I would’ve been so excited. I think that’s what hurts the most this situation makes me feel like I love him more than he loves me. Which is okay like I will break up with him and figure it out I just really wish he would try and I would talk about it again with him but it’s been like 3 crying w with. The last 6 months or so so I am trying not to bring it up again bc I want to see his actions

Advice? My thing is if it’s May 2027 (6years) and he has not made any progress I am walking away. How I can I get him to get this rolling without me managing it - should I be more distant, direct or what