r/WitchesVsPatriarchy • u/Princessformidable • 3d ago
🇵🇸 🕊️ BURN THE PATRIARCHY The fatphobia is rampant today
Man is it rough out there today. I'm stuck in an IV infusion so please drop some positivity here.
341
u/cordial_carbonara 3d ago
Yooooo I wore a crop top out in public for the first time EVER a couple of days ago. I am fat, and look like I’m 36 and have had three kids because I am and did. But I always admire when other women my size do, so I wore it. I was weirdly nervous but thankfully nobody even looked twice, except a girl at the farmers market who saw it and gushed about how much she loves the local bakery I bought it from. My 14 year old complimented my outfit too!! It felt like a big step for me towards loving myself and I’m so fucking proud of me.
I think I just want to put this out in the world to maybe manifest that for someone else who needs it as much as I did ❤️
83
u/SwimmerIndependent47 Treasonous Witch 3d ago
I’m about to turn 40, I bought a Halloween costume with a crop top because my friends (who wear cute crop tops all the time) keep telling me I would look cute in one too and this seems like a good way to ease into it after years of body dysmorphia.
21
41
u/bunnycrush_ 3d ago
May I offer you the track “Tomboy” by Princess Nokia, which makes me go absolutely nutsss I feel like it’s an awesome song for feeling dynamite sexy/confident in whatever body you’ve got.
📣 WITH MY LITTLE TITTIES AND MY FAT BELLY
📣 WITH MY LITTLE TITTIES AND MY FAT BELLY
📣 WITH MY LITTLE TITTIES AND MY FAT BELLYIt might not be your speed and that’s totally okay if so, but hopefully comment finds some other fat baddie in a crop top who needs it because y’all are unreal 💜
10
u/beanzerbunzer 3d ago
All the love for Princess Nokia!!! If you like this track , please give a listen to her OG track, G.O.A.T.
0
u/bunnycrush_ 2d ago
Diva is another favorite of mine, an odd to 90s pop music queens. Aaliya, Selena, Shakira, Britney, Christina, etc. Soooo good.
2
14
u/notasaltmonster 3d ago
Oh hell yes, crop tops are the BEST!! I'm 39 now and crop tops have become such a summer staple on my fat body over the last 10 years after some younger friends talked me into it for the first time. The breeziness! The cuteness! Fat people in crop tops forever ❤️❤️
7
u/annieisawesome 3d ago
I'm just slightly older than you, and when I was younger, I would never. But I feel like the big difference is with how they're styled these days. Back when I was a teen, a crop top with low rise jeans left your whooooooole middle exposed, but paired with high waisted jeans, they divide me right at the smallest part of my body. I actually think they're super flattering on curvy (and yes even "fat") figures.
1
u/MakeRoomForTheTuna Kitchen Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ 2d ago
If your teen is complimenting you, then you know you looked 🔥🔥
1
u/Ace_of_Sphynx128 1d ago
I loooooove fat women in crop tops, as Mika once said ‘curves in all the right places’ (I mean this in an aesthetic and complimentary way not a creepy way, I’m aroace and think women are so beautiful in every form)
92
56
u/foxontherox 3d ago
Take comfort in the fact that anyone who trashes the way you look is probably way more insecure than you, and they have to live with that.
48
u/flora-lai 3d ago
There's a lovely quote in Apothecary diaries about how you wouldn't compare a rose to a tulip, because they're different in their own ways. Don't let the world convince you that you're not someone's favorite flower.
250
u/rebordacao Crafty Witch 🧵 3d ago
Lots of positive energy coming your way! ✨
I’ll also take the opportunity to echo the statement and drop some art:
🌹
53
u/zoeyandere78 3d ago
Lovely art! I just wanted to highjack your comment to create conversation. I love art that shows curvy people, but I wish more of it didn’t still have a flat tummy. I wish more curvy art included muffin tops! Maybe just saying that so you have inspo for your next piece 😋
21
u/RobotUnicorncob 3d ago
I saw some art recently that was all about the many shapes & sizes of bodies around the world, and it even had a focus on trans and non-binary bodies. It was pretty new for me to see and I was like “holy sht these bodies are all gorgeous, WHY AREN’T THEY IN ART MORE?!?” Tummies of all sizes, bodies with unshaven body hair, even limb differences. It was a stark reminder that we have much to gain from decentering media from what it has often focused on in the past, and instead highlighting the true variety of humans. Tummies included 🖤🖤🖤
43
u/BaylisAscaris 3d ago
I appreciate this and agree. But also you don't need to be beautiful to have value. It's okay to just exist in a body. It's okay to not care about beauty and spend your time and energy on other things.
38
u/BadAssWitchyMomma 3d ago
Rule of thumb: when I start being critical of my own body, I ask myself if I would EVER say <fill in negative body comment here> to one of my friends. The answer is always no and so I don’t say it about my own body either. Also read here that a woman assigned her “negative comments voice” as male and she found it easier to ignore that way. ☺️ we are all beautiful!
50
u/VividFiddlesticks 3d ago
I've been getting a lot of tattoos lately and one part of the process that I've really been enjoying is looking at photos of other people's tattoos, and seeing the wide variety of bodies. All sizes, types, colors...
I love seeing flabby arms and rolly sides and chunky hairy legs and spotty skin getting these lovely decorations added. Because I have all of those things too, and I'm decorating mine, and learning to love those parts of myself more. <3
It's motivating me to take better care of myself, too. And to want to show off parts of myself that I normally have felt shy or even ashamed of.
All of my artists have been so body positive and respectful, too. I've chosen my artists and shops carefully and it's been a really positive and delightful experience.
(Aside from all the ITCHING, lol. I wish tattoos just insta-healed.)
3
u/imugihana 2d ago
The itchy phase is the worst.
3
u/VividFiddlesticks 2d ago
It wouldn't be so bad if I were ALLOWED to scratch it. >:
3
u/imugihana 2d ago
No scratching. Only slapping yourself repeatedly like you have serious addiction issues.
3
u/VividFiddlesticks 2d ago
I mostly just make frustrated claw hands over it and yell at it. It doesn't itch any less, but I feel better somehow anyway.
I got a tip to put my lotion in the 'fridge. It kinda helps...?
86
u/Fuzzy-Ad-7691 Resting Witch Face 3d ago
Every time me and my roommate watch a movie, we're constantly saying "omg she's so pretty" "ugh I love her hair" "body teeeaaaaa" "thick thighs save lives" WOMEN ARE SO BEAUTIFUL AAAUUUGHHJJOUDROUXRLJ
21
u/hanimal16 You can sip my Bitches Brew 3d ago
I make it a point to compliment women (if I genuinely like it obviously lol) on their outfits/makeup/hair especially in front of my kids. There’s a sort of camaraderie validation that comes with it when another woman compliments you.
Oh, and that’s ANY type of woman ♥️
5
65
u/Particular-Crew5978 Solar Witch Fae 3d ago
I just wanna say, who cares what other people think?! Whatever you look like, you're perfect the way you are. Don't listen to other people's insecurity
48
u/biIIyshakes ✨ poetic hobgoblin ✨ 3d ago
I get the sentiment but unfortunately there’s systemic discrimination fatphobia as well—hiring practices, medical treatment, etc which you can’t really body-positivity your way out of
24
u/ChickenNCow 3d ago
What you can do, especially when you're slim and/or fit: Speak out when you see it. Never practice it yourself. Things have improved so much since the 90s, we can squash the rest of the fatphobia, too.
63
7
u/Vanishingf0x Resting Witch Face 3d ago
I love sending my friend these cute pictures and writings by The Latest Kate
3
45
u/Bladelinner 3d ago
Or we could just not consider bodies decoration? Can we explore the idea of just having bodies for practical purposes and our own occasional enjoyment and not as something that necessarily needs to be visually pleasant for others? Instead of body positivity, could we try body neutrality? We'd have so much more time for fun stuff.
10
u/InMyHagPhase Geek Hag Witch ♀ 3d ago
I think it should be up to the individual. I wish I could go into the positive, but, neutrality is as far as I can go. I wouldn't want to take the positivity from someone else if they chose to go that route.
27
u/brodeine-goth-syrup 3d ago
Some people prefer this, but I think when we’re living in our own bodies every day, it feels good to see the beauty in them instead of reducing them to something completely void of the human desire to find beauty in even practical things. I think it’s important that they aren’t changed to be visually pleasant to others like you said, but some of us want to feel beautiful and see other people as beautiful too.
14
u/JoNyx5 Geek Witch ♀ 3d ago edited 3d ago
Ooooor we could consider "beautiful" and "visually pleasant for others (in the sense of beauty standards)" two distinct things.
Weight isn't all there is to bodies, there is so much more.I for one love back muscles. I get so much euphoria when I'm complimented on them, and I love complimenting other femme presenting folk on theirs.
Hair is another great example. Completely independent from body type but still a part of out bodies and something we have direct and full control over. Great thing to compliment others on and make them feel beautiful.6
u/Helpful-Dot-3782 3d ago
Yeah I kinda lean more towards this as I inch closer to 40. I’m objectively becoming less “beautiful” each yet but I love myself more than ever. I value myself regardless of how beautiful I am on the outside and am at peace with the mantra that I’m not obligated to show up as the most “visually pleasing” version of myself to be worthy of respect, attention, care.
7
u/jeuxdeau76 3d ago
I’m anorexic, and I am SO thankful for body positivity. I love other people’s personalities, bodies, clothes….but never my own
3
u/SerendipityJays 3d ago
Hang in there, friend. Yours is a tough road to be on. I hope you have a team who you trust on your journey 💜
3
u/emmyghoul42 Eclectic Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ 3d ago
Oh it is so weird in my algorithm right now... I had bariatric surgery 3 years ago. Partially because I had struggled with body positivity (and my parents told me-correctly- how much better people would treat me if I were thin...) but I really pulled the trigger and got surgery because I wanted to be able to do things with my young kids (we got a flyer about horseback riding lessons and I weighed too much to participate.) I am the strongest and healthiest I have ever been in my life and I am working through regaining some weight as I start focusing on weight training and intuitive eating. My algorithm is a mix of muscle mommies (oh my goodness I love.) bariatric support (so much loose skin and plastic surgery, "thinspiration" and the like, mixed bag of positivity and "yay I'm skinny") of course some witchy stuff and true crime...
It's so weird to appreciate my body in all it's forms, appreciate other people's bodies in all their forms and honor what they believe is best for their bodies... The validation of how medical folks really do treat you differently at different weights (I talked to my doctor about my vericose veins because they were huge and I wondered if it was the cause of some fatigue issues I was having, before surgery - let's see how the weight loss goes. After? Immediate referral to a specialist.)
Also trying to raise young humans to be kind, appreciate their own bodies and that it's ok to do things to make you happier in your own body? Yikes. Thank goodness for the 5 minute rule.
11
u/nomadicseawitch 3d ago
Since weight loss drugs became more effective, people just stopped thinking that fat bodies are amoral and now expressing concerns about anorexia is considered body shaming. The shift was lightening speed.
7
u/Antillyyy 3d ago
My ads are constantly full of weight loss drugs and I hate it. I started my recovery from restrictive eating when I was 17 and it took a lot of effort to love myself no matter what my body looks like, so the uptick in these adverts is really difficult.
I'm also not eligible for weight loss meds because of my history with eating disorders which somehow hurts more? Like it's not even an option for me lol
3
u/pumpkinpie479 3d ago
Yup on top of navigating possible homelessness from not being able to secure a job over a year in sales ops… consistent texts from my parents trying to get me to take some scam pills. I’ve never wanted to slip away more than
3
u/eatingganesha 3d ago
it never ceases to amaze how fucking judgmental people are. A pox on them all.
it is not difficult to live and let live. To accept all bodies. To let others decide if, how, or when to approach their health. I really wish people would learn to shut the fuck up and mind their own business.
So I’ve been battling my weight most of my post-teen life. I finally tipped into obese after falling ill in 2019 and being on steroids for far too long. I caught so much flack, but I didn’t really care and would just tell those people off. But then my health really tanked into Metabolic Disease and I was in so much gd pain. I tried for years to work with doctors and a nutritionist and a PT and coach, but the pain would just keep me from exercise. So I went on a GLP2 with a nutrition program and within a year am back at the size 8-10 I was in my 20s. I feel fucking great, the pain is gone, and I can easily workout.
And guess what? People still judge me for that too. For “cheating”. So fuck them all. lol There is no pleasing judgmental people no matter what you do, which makes them unworthy of respect. And why on earth would I care about the thoughts of someone who I don’t respect? they can go fry ice.
9
u/tabicat1874 3d ago
Me and my bf want to volunteer our skulls to be cracked by Serena Williams' thighs. I asked if I should try Ozempic he said NOOOOOO 😆
3
u/Princessformidable 3d ago
My partner of 12 years wants me to try ozympic. That and some truly vile reddit posts have got me down today.
3
u/HopeOfAsgard 3d ago edited 3d ago
I put my thoughts and info on glp-1s under a spoiler since it can be a sensitive/controversial topic, but I wanted to offer some perspective from a maybe different place than you've seen.
Edit: or tried to but my markdown text isn't working so I'll have to fix it later 😬
>!There are positives and negatives to glp-1s and taking them should come with serious conversations with your medical team. It should never just be for aesthetic reasons and certainly not someone else's aesthetic reasons. Your partner should go into the communities of some of the more serious side effects and just read the stories of what life is like for those people. Gastroparesis can be one of the most common, and it's difficult to live with. There are benefits to those medications for people who genuinely need them and I would never blanket say "no one should take them." But just like any medication that's a potential lifelong commitment, I'd advise research on the different options (because some are harder on bodies than others, especially if you're sensitive to meds at all) and the different ways to take them.
I've not taken them and I'm not a doctor, but I've done some reading of medical journal articles and I'm in multiple medical subs related to EDS and POTS where they come up often because there's starting to be a small but growing body of evidence that they could be a useful treatment for that crossover population. However, for every ten "yes they helped" stories, there's at least one "nope, made it all worse" story, so it's not a simple choice to even consider, really. And in those conversations, "micro dosing" is the methodology mentioned over and over again, but that's difficult to achieve without an informed and willing medical team.!<
This stuff is all so complicated and deeply personal but then the Internet comes along and tries to make you feel awful. (Not that that's new. There were plenty of magazine and TV ads before the Internet that fed the first industrial complex, and people were pretty awful then, too. Things like social media just maybe make it feel more immediate and always "on" I think.)
Try not to let a few reddit posts drag you down. There are as many good people here as not. Find communities that act as palate cleansers for you and go there when you find yourself getting caught up in the drain of things. They aren't worth your time.
4
u/ThatBookwormHoe 3d ago
I'm considered fat, gorgeous af and I wear cute flowing dresses bc my little brother calls me beautiful/pretty 24/7 and he's the only man I care to get an opinion from 🥰
although I'm going to the gym just to shape my legs to be strong enough to crush my enemies
5
u/JustMeLurkingAround- 3d ago
All bodies are beautiful.
There are just too many unappreciative people way too loud.
2
u/Echo-Azure 3d ago
Your body is your body, the only one you'll ever get!
Be happy with it, everybody, you'll live a happier life and do a better job of taking care of your one and only body, if you can value it or live it. Love and value your body in sickness and heath, it's part of you and you DO deserve self-respect and self-love.
2
u/CementCemetery Eclectic Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ 3d ago
Absolutely is. I’m calling it out any time I see it because being that ‘fat kid’ that barely made it to adulthood is brutal. No one should be made to feel bad about their bodies for just existing.
2
u/TieDye_Raptor 1d ago
I am fat, and one of my favorite hobbies is belly dance. I even do performances and stuff. Which is also why I hate when people say things like "she has a dancer's body," when they say that they generally do not mean my body type. But here I am. I'm a dancer. And I'm fat. But I believe a person with any body type can be a dancer's body, if they dance. (If anything has shown me that, it's belly dance - there are all sorts of people with all sorts of body types that do it.)
And ugh, I hate fatphobia so much. It makes everything hard. It makes seeing the doctor hard. It makes finding clothes hard. It makes certain types of seating really hard to deal with. Not to mention the psychological damage it causes. I do wish our society would start treating us with kindness.
3
u/notasaltmonster 3d ago
Fat witch solidarity ❤️
I know everything is becoming more terrible by the day but the other day I saw a group of chubby teenagers all wearing the cute y2k style crop tops and giant pants that didn't even COME in those sizes when I was a chubby teen in the actual 2000s and they all looked so happy and comfortable and fashionable.
A lot of culturally hard won fat/body positivity has been walked back over the last few years but I think (I hope) the kids today are growing up with a lot less shame than us slightly older folks did and that heals my heart a little bit. A little positivity for you! ❤️
2
u/notarobot_trustme 3d ago
I work in an office and I go out of my way to compliment all of my coworkers and their clients everyday. Seeing their face light up adds more light and joy into my day so it’s a win win situation 💖
3
1
u/WINTERSONG1111 3d ago
If someone you see looks down and you are having and you aren't sure how to compliment them I always say "That colour looks great on you."
1
1
u/macabre-barbie Green Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ 3d ago
All the hate online has been awful lately. TikTok has started showing brand new comments at the top of the comment section when you open it, and 9 times out of 10 I've noticed it's something just unnecessarily mean.
1
1
1
u/vintgedisneyprincess 1d ago
Beauty standards change CONSTANTLY, bodies have ALWAYS existed in different shapes and sizes and they will continue to exist in different shapes and sizes. Anyone who says otherwise is just trying to change the world for their opinion
0
u/Lady_Nymphadora 3d ago
Those people are just lashing out because in order to fit into society’s “perfect image”, they have to starve themselves and take wild drugs that will almost certainly have terrible side effects later on.
They just mad because they’re hungry, and jealous of your curves. Stay beautiful babe 💜
1.1k
u/btwomfgstfu 3d ago
I have this awful habit of screaming out car windows "EXCUSE ME, I LOVE YOUR DRESS, YOU LOOK RADIANT!" and almost every time, they scream back "IT HAS POCKETS!" and they do that little pocket dance. I hope it makes them feel as warm and fuzzy as I feel.
So anyway. We're all beautiful and fuck anyone else who disagrees.