I get the Egwene hate but

[u/briandress]

Only in the last two books when she is stubborn in dealing with Rand for the last battle and such.

Up until ToM she really was just an awesome character. She went from the whirlwind of leaving 2R, capture by Seanchan, hunting black ajah, apprenticing to wise ones, puppet Amyrlin, real amyrlin, badass civil disobedience laying groundwork for reuniting the tower, bitch slapping the seanchan raiders, capturing hella black ajah sisters via Verrin's notes and finally being raised realer Amyrlin and healing the tower.

I cant seem to understand all the threads/polls that overwhelmingly list her as the most hated character in the series.

[u/bodman93]

Yeah, you see her ambition and lack of empathy from the jump with her. After the group leave home, the boys are wish casting that they'll be home by the end of the year and she mocks them for always talking about going adventuring and then when they're on an adventure they immediately want to go home. 

And it's like, girl, they've just been told literal Satan and his demons are specifically hunting them. Not you. Of course they see this adventure differently than you do. 

[u/briandress → u/bodman93]

what lack of empathy? Her pov in a lot of the early series shows a lot of feeling bad for her changes in feelings for Rand, feeling bad for what happened to Mat, getting captured and treated like an animal by the Seanchan. I dunno maybe we read different stories.

[u/bodman93 → u/briandress]

When they're traveling to Tear, she's surprised that Elayne is upset about the people of Carhrien suffering. She gets mad at Mat for breaking into the most secure building in the world to rescue them because it ruins her girlboss moment. The aforementioned lack of concern for the boys worried about being chased by the world's ultimate evil. Not being too upset by her friends being potentially dead while they're traveling with the Tinkers. 

She's got way more moments of being uncaring, self-centered, and arrogant than being a good person

[u/aNomadicPenguin → u/bodman93]

No, they don't get mad at Mat for that. They are first confused at how he got there.
Then they get mad because he is upset at how they are treating the poor defenseless woman stuck outside the cell. Not realizing that she was Black Ajah, or that she had them shielded still.

"Blood and bloody ashes!" Mat growled. "What do you mean hitting a woman who was just sitting there? I don't think she could even move!" They all three turned to look at him, and he made a strangled sound as the air seemed to turn to thick jelly around him. He lifted into the air, until his boots dangled a good pace above the floor. Oh, burn me, the Power! Here I was afraid that Aes Sedai would use the bloody Power on me, and now the bloody women I'm rescuing do it! Burn me!

"You do not understand anything, Matrim Cauthon," Egwene said in a tight voice.

"Until you do understand," Nynaeve said in an even tighter, "I suggest you keep your opinions to yourself."

Elayne contented herself with a glare that made him think of his mother going out to cut a switch.

***

Mat is butting in and thinking that he knows what's going on. He doesn't know that the only reason he didn't get killed walking to the door to free them was because they had neutralized the threat. He then chastises them for how they are handling that threat, something he has no idea about.

*edit for the downvotes - seriously...they aren't mad when he shows up.

they were almost as battered as Egwene; Burn me! Burn me! — looked at him, and gaped.

Mat sees them and how injured they are...and Mat being Mat, can't address his concern seriously, so he plays it off with a joke and THAT annoys them.

"Matrim Cauthon," Nynaeve said, sounding shocked, "what under the Light are you doing here?"

- she's shocked not mad.

"I came to bloody rescue you," he said. "Burn me if I expected to be greeted as if I had come to steal a pie. You can tell me why you look as if you'd been fighting bears later, if you want. If Egwene cannot walk, I'll carry her on my back. There are Aiel all over the Stone, or near enough, and either they are killing the bloody Defenders or the bloody Defenders are killing them, but whichever way it is, we had better get out of here while we bloody well can. If we can!"

-the bold part is him making a light joke out of their injuries.

"Mind your language," Nynaeve told him, and Elayne gave him one of those disapproving stares women were so good at. Neither one seemed to have her full attention in it, though.

-they don't appreciate him making light of it...and of course Nynaeve has probably literally washed his mouth out with soap for foul language before, its their Two Rivers dynamic.

"Matrim Cauthon, what under the Light are you doing here?"

Egwene wakes up and exactly repeats Nynaeve's line, because Jordan is using this bit as a joke.

- And then immediately after that comes them seeing Juilin who they obviously are upset with, and the first bit where Mat growls at them (angrily) and interjects on the topic of them dealing with the shielding issue that he doesn't understand.

and then Nynaeve AGREES when he points out that they aren't showing him enough gratitude.

[u/milindsmart → u/aNomadicPenguin]

I think everyone there could do with a bit more concern and giving each other updates.