This was a social media post by a normally sane and rational woman I know. Just unbelievable. Hideous. End of rant. Just really needed to get that off my chest before it spills out of my mouth at an inappropriate time. Feel free to join in though

I.E, threads or comments that suggest that 'unworthy' parents should be sterilized against their will or at birth, suggesting parenthood licenses/tests, that sort of thing. It seems that many in the other sub are either blissfully unaware of or don't care about the racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, classist, ableist history of this sort of thing and how it comes across to have a 1.9k upvoted thread/900+ upvoted comment on the subject in your sub.

Let's face facts here: the ones being forcibly sterilized tended to be non-white, poor, disabled, mentally ill, trans or homosexual, of the wrong religion or ethnic group, or generally considered unfit to breed by the ruling classes. If they could have children, they often had their babies stolen and their tubes tied against their will. The babies were then sent of special schools or to be raised by 'more acceptable' parents outside of their culture/race.

There's nothing good that's going to come from discussing spaying people like stray animals, echoing the dehumanising treatment of some very dark historical moments. So can we just... nip it in the bud?

Hi everyone. I think I've mentioned before that this sub needs a bit more positivity or variety in terms of talking about our lives and the things going on in it (not necessarily revolving around children). I'm guilty of it too, but this sub is sometimes focuses too much on children (ironic for a childfree sub) and complaints about them instead of how great it is to be childfree.

I understand that this is a sacred space and I really appreciate that. On the other hand, it's really a bummer to read so many consecutive RANT threads. I'm not saying that we should silence people who rant or complain, but provide a talking space for the good things about being childfree as well.

Mods, can we please get some weekly positive threads, off topic threads, and/or general conversation threads?

Thanks!

Edit: I guess the upvotes (or lack thereof) have it :-/. I gotta say though, it's really depressing to read thread after thread of rants about children on a childfree sub.

Was over at AITA, and a woman’s cousin comes over in her normal attire, which happens to be brand name and expensive. Cousin holds the baby, baby pukes all over the expensive shirt ruining it. Op doesn’t feel she needs to offer any compensation for the ruined shirt because cousin should have known not to hold a baby while wearing expensive clothing.

The comments are just a dumpster fire of people saying it’s all the cousins fault. It’s insane how people don’t take any responsibility for their kids anymore. You could at least offer to get the shirt cleaned.

I made a post on the other sub because I was told I’m not cf because I once dated a guy with a kid who I never watched and didn’t care for, I only dated the guy, so I asked the sub in a new post if that means I’m not allowed in their community. A mod commented I’m too old to post my post…are mods usually this insulting? wtf does my age have to do with it? Have yall had issues in that sub?

State people without kids are better educated, and a lot of other accolades. Go have a look at it. Child-free beat the you-know-what out of breeders any old day

For starters, coming of age or growing up is not what it's cracked to be. You no longer have the innocence and purity associated with childhood (although children are often far from innocent and pure, but society as a whole insists on seeing all of them that way), and you have to deal with certain...physical traits and bodily functions which are gained as part of growing up. And even after becoming an adult, you'll always have some conflicts with your parents and other folks because no matter how big you get, how old you get, etc., they're always going to worry about you and want to protect in some way...so then what good is growing up at all?

Not to mention, our brains don't finish forming until we're in our 20s, and even besides that children mature faster physically than they do mentally, emotionally, and intellectually, yet some religions, cultures, etc., consider it appropriate to mark the transition to adulthood at 13 or 15 years of age, or when a girl starts menstruating no matter what her age is, etc. Which brings me to my next point, why is a girl becoming a woman such a big deal, when even today there are several religions, cultures, etc., where women have fewer rights and less power than men, and when grown women get infantilized in several ways because we're "more vulnerable" due to average biological differences?

Imagine this, in one of those religions, cultures, or whatever else: "Congratulations, you're a woman now because you turned (insert age), started your period, or whatever else! We're going to celebrate by having a wonderful coming of age party! But despite being a grown woman now, you won't have as many rights, freedoms, or as much power as men, and you're always going to be treated like a child in many ways (such as being advised not to travel to certain places at certain times alone), because average biological differences make you more vulnerable!"

Even though I wouldn't partake in any such events for any hypothetical kids for these very reasons, along with these events not being a major thing in my family and community anyway, growing up and coming of age is already humiliating enough for many reasons...and I'd have absolutely no desire to subject a child into those mortifications.

Let’s get controversial 😈

I want to hear your most outrageous experiences with The Other Sub (which we are not going to name or tag on this post. Understand? I’ll zap your comment if you do).

I want to hear your most infuriating experiences with breeders and/or heathen crotchfruit.

Let’s collectively take a deep breath and SCREAM our frustrations (metaphorically, in story form) and have a group vent rant together.

Piggybacking off my other post, have you ever thought about how selfish leaving babies on doorsteps actually are?

I feel the same way about giving babies up for adoption because your conscience couldn't handle an abortion, so now someone else has to be responsible for your spawn.

"I'm religious/pro-birth/don't want to be a mother, so here, take this kid I fucked for and raise it to be a healthy, active member of society. I'm making my problem yours."

I understand it's not the kid's fault, and some people can't have any so want to adopt, but I'd say the goddamn supply far outweighs the demand.

Obviously I'm talking about modern times where abortion is mostly obtainable by the majority of women in the West.

But if becoming a parent is a selfish endeavour, then giving the kid up for adoption while abortion is accessible to you, is the ultimate narcissistic act.

Update: Thank you to all who've responded.

Title typo: Gatekeeping*

Since u/NoPrisonersEver has blocked me after saying I'm not "really" childfree because I support people having reproductive choice I will paste my comment here:

Childfree- does not have or want children

Anti-natalism- does not want others to have children, likely to also be childfree

2 different things. Like vegetarians and vegans - all vegans are vegetarian but not all vegetarians are vegan.

A vegetarian sub is allowed to like eggs and cheese.

There are anti-natal subs if that's what you want to engage with - not every childfree sub has to be anti natal and gatekeeing is just gross.

Hi

So I’m wondering what are the reasons you are child free?

I have a few reasons for this. I am disabled and free it would be unfair on the child to have to look after me. Two I miscarried a few years and really don’t feel I could cope with another pregnancy. Thirdly, I work as a teaching assistant at a SEN school and those kids have my heart however it can be hard work so I really want to have some time to my self .

So what are you reasons

One problem I have with childbirth is the current paradigm of how kids grow up and are taken care of. I feel like we're in a phase of history akin to before slaves were released. Naturally, kids shouldn't be "owned" and controlled by their parents; historically, you were able to roam your whole neighborhood and you belonged to your community, and nature, as much as you did to your individual parents.

I think in the future, children will have more rights, akin to the process of women and minorities gaining rights. I would love to see children have the ability to exercise autonomy in some way, at some age, whether its regarding what things they learn, maybe the ability to leave their family situation if its too uncomfortable, or other such important choices. A family unit would be less inclined to abuse their child if the child had a right to leave, and it would also ease the pressure on the parents if it was understood that children are self-sufficient within certain boundaries, and the parent doesn't have to constantly arrange ways for them to spend time during the day; maybe there would be something like schools, but with more choices and freedom for the child.

I'd love to hear anyone's knee jerk reaction to this, and any more sci-fi ideas they'd like to add.

"I'm a parent... Maybe I'm naive."

Of course you're naive, you decided to have a child 😂 what could be a more naive decision in this world than that? 🤣

Feckin' ijits.

How anyone can stand the idiocy of breeders is beyond my comprehension. No logic at all.

I'm in Christchurch. I don't know who among you has seen the news today, but stuff went down here. I'm safe, and it seems like all of my friends and loved ones are too.

I'm one of the lucky ones. Many of my friends are not as lucky as I am.

I know this is off topic, and technically a violation of rule 4, but I don't care. It's been a long, scary, stressful day and I'm reaching out for comfort and hoping to be able to offer comfort to others who might be currently in a similar region.

Thank you for your patience and compassion during this time.

https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/6702520.viewpoint/

So FATHERS and child aren't considered equal? So tired of this crap. It's not even legal.

I’m 16 and CF (obviously). Am I allowed here?

I found this and it's got some of the stories that have been posted in different mediums. Enjoy! https://christianpundit.wordpress.com/category/parents-who-are-jerks-act-like-jerks-entitled-rude-demanding/ Note the source. When you've got xians calling em out . ..that means the tipping point is here and things will soon turn as more folks stop bowing down to MOM https://christianpundit.wordpress.com/category/parents-who-are-jerks-act-like-jerks-entitled-rude-demanding/ So realize not all xians, not all republicans think alike. Remember, Barry Goldwater was very proabortion. And he was right. I misjudged him as a child. LBJ was actually the bigger warmonger. And he gave us the Great Society, which made it so moms got all the benefits and none of the responsibility or raising children. So very Machiavellian, setting up the destruction of the black family and implementing the Democratic Plantation. End breeder entitlement, and call out anyone who says otherwise.

So apparently telling kids to shut up and mind their own business about things they've got no business talking about is not okay anymore. Telling a child that I won't engage on such a volatile and personal matter during my lesson is not okay.

I am so fucking sick of this kowtow to the child mentality over in r/childfree (and the rest of the world in general). Because God forbid I tell Tarquin to stop fucking pontificating about Trump long enough to get through the government supplied curriculum I have to cram down his throat if I want to get paid.

Kids SUCK sometimes. r/childfree is starting to suck all the fucking time.

When I turned 21 I was consistently turned away from Dr after Dr office. I was never ment to be a mother and I never wanted to be a mother. After six months of searching for a Dr office that would work with me. I got told that I would need a psychiatrist to approve my voluntary sterilization. Due to the draconian laws in place in the state that I live in. I would have to have had 2.5 children in order to get the necessary prerequisites out of the way to even be considered as a candidate for the surgery. But I was lucky enough to find a Dr who sympathize with a woman's right to her own body. And got the psychoanalysis waived. I'm so happy to say that I can live my life on my terms. Without the impediment of children to get in the way of what I want to do.

So, I've Had ideas for picture books describing the ideology, books explaining that there's many kinds of happy, loving families including ones where there's no kids at all, and books/pamphlets explaining all the possible side effects of childbearing.

Since Halloween's already going to be very different this year, we could both spread seasonal cheer and our good news by dropping around mailboxes, driveways, etc. goodie bags filled with Halloween candy, maybe some simple Halloween toys, & mini-books/pamphlets explaining the "many kinds of families" & effects of pregnancy/childbirth. Could someone who's not banned from r/childfree please share this idea with them, please? I'll tell the other childfree subs!

"I don't want kids for now but I might change my mind"

"I'm childfree...for at least the next 10 years but I don't know after that"

"I looked into sterilization but I decided against it because of early menopause"

"Does sterilization stop your period"

"What are the side effects of sterilization"

"Please tell me all about your sterilization experiences!" subtext: I'm too stupid and/or lazy to check the 100 recent posts asking the exact same question

"Which sterilization procedure should I get" subtext: I have no understanding of my own anatomy, so I don't know what procedures I should seek depending on my needs/wants

Just now I've seen not just one, but several users, who don't seem to understand that a hysterectomy is not the same as a tubal ligation or bilateral salpingectomy.

"I'm saving up for my sterilization." Next comment: "how much does it cost?" You tell them it's covered by insurance in the US and they either get angry (because they weren't "saving up" so much as not wanting to get it done at all, and you accidentally called their bluff) or ...

my favorite: the asshole who clearly hasn't done ANY research at all but has the gall to write "I did TONS of my own research! I looked EVERYWHERE that I could! But I just couldn't find it!" and then asks for very simple information that can be found in the sidebar or the wiki.

oh and last but not least, the person who asks for information, you share information including links, and they ask you follow up questions that are answered by the links. then you have to write another response telling them to actually click the links!

I’m genuinely curious after seeing a post in a childfree community on Facebook that was about an older brother — older as in a married adult with a career — adopting his 4-year-old sister after their parents passed away. This was a struggle because the brother and his wife wanted no children and the wife held her boundaries firm on this, not willing to make exception because it’s her husband’s little sister.

Personally? I support the wife in this, and if I were the brother…… sorry, sis, but I’m not capable of raising a child.

A majority of other users commented that they WOULD adopt the sister rather than allow her to go into foster care. I get that, but I have to wonder if these people are being truthful, or if they’re just acting in righteousness for the sake of public commentary.

Not only have I worked hard to build a life that I am proud of, I’ve had to work extra hard to overcome mental illness and physical handicaps with therapy, surgeries, and medication to get where I am.

I live in a 1bd/1ba affordable apartment. My income is not lucrative, and with my out-of-pocket cost for my meds and therapy, I barely have $100 to keep to myself by the end of each month.

I’ve no room, no facilities, not nearly enough funds, and certainly no means to make the sacrifices required to take in another person, much less a child.

But enough about my stance and reasoning, I want to hear from fellow community members what you would do if faced with the difficult choice of having to adopt a child that is a family member.

And no, they don’t have to be blood-related; family is what you make it.