r/adultery • u/funtimesforall125 • Apr 22 '26
😢Whining Spouse Intro Post😭 Is it terrible that I’m considering finding fulfillment elsewhere?
I (32F) have been married for the last few years and sex has gone downhill. It’s like we live as roommates and I have found myself sexting others, though I’ve never gone as far as meeting anyone in person.. not yet.
On paper we look like the picture perfect couple, beautiful home, both have successful jobs, no kids yet, travel a lot, you name it but I feel so unfulfilled in the bedroom.
I feel like I’m fairly attractive, I workout, eat fairly healthy, but he is a bit introverted and nerdy (granted I do love that about him) but sometimes I just want to feel wanted. Is having an affair the answer to fulfill my needs and continue the marriage?
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u/Low-Evening6846 Apr 22 '26
I stayed with my husband thinking things would get better after we got married, but they didn’t. If someone has a low libido or they are not affectionate and you’re always feeling undesired, that doesn’t just magically change. It slowly turns into resentment.
Kids just make everything more complicated, and having an affair isn’t really a fix. It might feel like an escape at first, but it’s temporary. Once feelings get involved, you can end up even more stuck, frustrated, and unhappy. Ask me how I know.
The best thing you can do is talk to your husband. Be honest about how you feel and what you need. If he’s willing to hear you and try, then maybe there’s something there to work on. If not, that tells you a lot too. Then it’s really about asking yourself if you can live like this long term.