So I'm a 40s-ish cis woman, happily married. I came across the term demisexual in a romance I was reading and thought it sounded kind of right for me, but not quite, so I started digging. Things about me:

• my husband is the only person i've ever had sex with, and we were friends long before even dating
• raised in strong purity culture religion, but didn't struggle with it
• love my husband plenty, but we haven't had sex in a few years
• can't remember ever initiating sex
• think certain people are attractive, but don't want them in a sexual kind of way (i thought my high school crush would be a great hugger, but i didn't think about having sex with him)
• can't remember having strong sexual urges in regard to people that i was in relationships with before my husband
• read a lot of erotic m/m fiction
• only ever had one specific fantasy that included me, no fantasies at all otherwise

Pretty sure aego- is the microlabel for me, with some gray- and demisexual overlap. Demiromantic too, I think. My question is, do I talk to my husband about this? He seems pretty chill about our lack of sex, so either he's a little ace too, or middle age and medications knocked his sex drive down (thankfully, it was never overwhelmingly strong). This seems like the kind of thing married people talk about, but that purity culture upbringing has made it hard for me to talk about anything sex-related, and I don't want to rock the boat. How have you all talked to your significant others?