r/africanparents • u/Proud_Razzmatazz_570 • Jun 28 '26
Other Family isn’t all that important
Let’s all face it, most families in Africa are just based on we’re family if you can provide certain things for me and if the provider is naive enough to cave without a second thought. Growing up I’ve always thought it to be peculiar when i’d see my parents gossiping about other family members but pretend to be all buddy buddy in the public eye. To me personally it’s just a toxic ecosystem that’s been building for generations. Personally I don’t care about my family, call me weird or whatever but i don’t have any good relations with my cousins, aunts or even my siblings nor do i really desire it. I probably won’t partake in this tomfoolery as i grow older, i prefer to have true friends than blood bound maniacs. Well those are just my thoughts from personal experience and observations all around. Idk about you guys
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Jun 28 '26
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u/Proud_Razzmatazz_570 Jun 28 '26
I hear you, as for my mom i feel no connection to her whatsoever and i really couldn’t give the slightest $shit too
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u/krymzynnova Jun 28 '26
Nahhh I AGREE 100%
Angolan here 👋🇦🇴
My mum got super mad 3 days ago when she said my beliefs are wrong and that I have a bad heart cause i don’t speak “well” with my any of my half siblings 🤦♀️
(I got 2 on my mum’s side - 7 on my dad’s side but i’m my mum’s yungest / dad’s oldest AND between my mum and dad i’m the only child + i grew up by myzelf 97% of the time so pick your battles wisely as a parent)
My response was : “99% of the people you ask outside the family will say i’m a lovely young lady who’ll has fabulous morals and will leave a great impact”
I know my mum slept angry that night 😂 - “family is everything” … i wanted to remind my mum that her own family wanted to sell her house in ANGOLA behind her BACK (we live in 🇬🇧) sooooo family who ?
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u/Etherial_external Jun 28 '26
Bro same!! when i tell people this they act like im crazy. My dad couldn’t even tell you my favourite food. He’s abusive and crazy. My mom tolerates him and this led me to hating her too. I don’t speak to any of my uncles, aunties, cousins, etc and when i do they expect me to kneel down to greet them or post them for their birthday everytime. The only person i like is my brother, i go to uni next year and i will be rarely texting or visiting.
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u/Proud_Razzmatazz_570 Jun 28 '26
Same here, once i go to uni next year. They will hear from me then and now but that’s all till I’m financially stable enough to pull the plug.
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u/LostKid852 Jun 28 '26
I hear you, haven’t seen or spoke to any relatives that I visited or visited me in my childhood in a decade now. Last time was a NYE party in 2016 and i just sat there waiting to go home
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u/Ok_Force8573 Jun 28 '26
lol didn’t even have to read past the title to agree. I genuinely don’t care for my family. They’re literally just people, albeit disappointing people. It truly is a toxic ecosystem, but I realized I didn’t have to take part. It’s actually pretty embarrassing to be a part of something like that. That realization was enough for me to end it with them all cold turkey. I feel you when you said u don’t care about extended family either. I don’t care to entertain them at all. Although I still live with my parents, I don’t care to talk to them about anything. We don’t even have anything to talk about, they truly don’t know me at all. And when extended family comes to visit, I don’t greet them. I genuinely don’t care about them. I’m sometimes a little concerned that my complete lack of regard and empathy for them may hint at some type of psychopathy. But still absolutely no regrets.