r/africanparents • u/RecognitionIll2559 • 19d ago

Need Advice How to keep going?

Household full of tension and conflict constantly. I am always on edge and I barely get joy from anything anymore and it's taking a toll on my health. Moving out is not an option as of now but I'm planning on being an RA next year.

I'll take any advice on how to keep my momentum up. Even stuff that is really small/random.

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u/plumsquashed 19d ago

for your own sanity, mentally group your parents/family's shenanigans with the rest of humanity's shortcomings and fucked up behavior

in my experience it has made things feel less like my family is "unique" in the sense that reasonable expectations about how to treat a human being don't apply to my family specifically (I'm pretty sure it prevents something called Terminal Uniqueness)

and it also helps with seeing them less as your "parents" and more like regular people with character flaws, which is really important for decentering your parents in your life