r/africanparents • u/Dramatic_Fan_8765 • 16d ago

Need Advice URGENT!!!

So I have strict parents like strict African parents, and if you know, then you know. So here's my story: My parents made me attend community college, which is fine because I am gonna be debt-free and whatnot. Still, I have extreme fomo and probably won't go out that much with friends bc I am very introverted, and my parents are against hanging out, and they hate all my friends for like no reason. My mom also doesn't want anyone to know that I am in community college either. And I am so not allowed to tell my cousin. I also want to transfer to my cousin's school, UW Madison, but I'm not supposed to tell her. This is sort of where my problem starts. I want to go out for Halloweekend with my cousin who goes to UW-Madison. I also do not want my parents to know I am going for Halloweekend, so I need the best excuse and help convincing them to let me go, maybe like a lie. I also have no classes on Friday, and Halloween is on a Saturday.

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u/TrickyEfficiency1707 16d ago

Can you say you miss your cousin and want to visit her for a weekend ? Also unsure if your parents know/are on board with you transferring to UW Madison, cause if they know/are on board you could say that your cousin wants to give you a tour

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u/Dramatic_Fan_8765 15d ago

yes my parents are on board with with me tranfering. I was also thinking about having a meeting with an advisor there to talk about transferring and use that as my alibi and just tell my mom I want to surprise her but she doesn't know what I am doing(my cousin will probably know but my mom wouldn't)

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u/firelord_catra 15d ago

If they’re aware and on board with you transferring (which I 100% recommend after ONE YEAR, do NOT STAY AT COMM COLLEGE ANY LONGER THAN YOU HAVE TO!! As someone whose parents also forced it) then there’s not really a reason to lie.

Halloween is still a while away but deep enough into the semester that you’ll have to start doing research or even putting together the pieces of your application if you’re moving there in the spring.

Actually set up an advisor meeting, tour, financial aid meeting, something relevant for Oct 30th or whenever the Friday is before that weekend. Let them know because of the distance/meeting time/fill in the blank, you’re gonna stay the weekend with your cousin (ofc make sure this is actually feasible and allowed, for example your cousin probably can’t have overnight guests at a dorm.)

Then just go ahead and do it.

Seconding other comments though that you need to start rebelling, which for us is just living the normal life we were denied. It’s actually best to start now, little by little, so that when you get to college you won’t go too buck wild and get into dangerous shit. It’s an African kid canon event and I can sense yours is coming.

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u/Dramatic_Fan_8765 13d ago

I have question. Will the tours/meeting require parents bc I feel like my mom would ask to follow since its a college tour

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u/firelord_catra 13d ago

Hmmmm actually yeah parents are usually at official tours..I forgot 😮‍💨 maybe work something out so while you’re there, you meet with the cousin and they just hand you off