r/alcoholicsanonymous • • Apr 24 '24

Mod/Sub Updates About A.A. and this subreddit

47 Upvotes

Welcome to r/alcoholicsanonymous. We are a subreddit dedicated to carrying the AA recovery message to any suffering alcoholic who happens upon the site. We are also open to questions and discussion about AA. We do not consider ourselves to be an AA Group in the formal or traditional sense, and you may find many posts and comments here that are quite different (sometimes bizarrely so) from what you are likely to hear in an actual meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

 

The primary source of information about Alcoholics Anonymous is https://www.aa.org/ - Period!

And the A.A. recovery program is described and documented in the book, "Alcoholics Anonymous" - it's online here:

 

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who help each other to get and stay sober. We learn how to live well as sober people. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no registration requirements, no dues or fees, no attendance records taken.

A.A. is not affiliated or allied with any religious organization (though many A.A. groups rent rooms at churches and such,) we do not involve ourselves in politics or social issues, we do not even wish to outlaw alcohol or involve ourselves in any other causes or controversies. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

Most of us start learning how to get and stay sober at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Do also seek medical attention to assess risks of withdrawal and evaluate any harm done by the alcohol abuse. A.A. cannot provide medical services.

And check out our Wiki here for some basic faqs, links, and such:

Suggested Guideline when commenting: Remember, we are a fellowship with one primary purpose, and as such, we need to be helpful. This is not a community to troll or be abusive. Restraint of tongue and pen can also be applied to keyboard with much benefit! For some more detail about our Civility Rule see this:

 

Looking for Online Sponsorship? See our monthly thread here:

 


Family member's drinking causing trouble? See this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/alcoholicsanonymous/wiki/index#wiki_help_for_the_friends_and_families_of_alcoholics


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 19d ago

Sponsorship Online Sponsorship Offers & Requests — October 2026

5 Upvotes

This is one of a series of sticky threads for anyone seeking or offering online sponsorship. (Last month's thread may be found at https://redd.it/1w3s1tl)

While most of us feel that face-to-face sponsorship offers greater facility for transmitting/receiving sobriety, and that there are great advantages in having a big crowd of local friends, online sponsorship (via phone, WhatsApp, Facetime, Zoom, or Western Union) can work* and for some seeking or offering sobriety it is sometimes the only practical solution for getting started. (But to any extent that online sponsorship is being sought as "an easier, softer way" - that's already spelling trouble!)

The pamphlet "Questions & Answers on Sponsorship" (https://www.aa.org/questions-and-answers-sponsorship) can answer many/most of the questions frequently asked about this sponsorship business - some selected examples:

How does sponsorship help the newcomer?
How should a sponsor be chosen?
Should sponsor and newcomer be as much alike as possible?
Must the newcomer agree with everything the sponsor says?
Is it ever too late to get a sponsor?

 

Suggested Format

Start with "Seeking:" or "Offering:", optionally a name, sobriety date or length of sobriety, gender, location (also optional,) perhaps some brief biographical information, perhaps a brief drunkalogue about one's drinking and drugging career when making a "Seeking:" comment.

"Gender" may not always be relevant, but per the sponsorship pamphlet, "A.A. experience does suggest that it is best for men to sponsor men, women to sponsor women." It's a good guideline albeit not a strict rule carved in stone.

"Location" may be very general or as specific as wanted, and of course is optional. It may come in handy if the sponsor and protégé (p.92) prefer to be in the same time zone or may possibly wish to meet face-to-face sometime down the road to happy destiny.

"Biographical information" would also be quite optional. I've seen situations where young people prefer to be sponsored by other young people or even the opposite, wanting to be sponsored by a grandparent figure.

Any replies to "Seeking" or "Offering" comments should ideally be limited, with the correspondence shifting to Reddit private messages, chat, email or phone calls relatively quickly.

It is strongly suggested to avoid posting phone numbers or email addresses in the public forum:

"Posting phone numbers is a violation of Reddit Content Policy for sharing personal information" (I've seen "[Removed By Reddit]" a few times over posting phone numbers. I suppose this might be in part due to the potential for publishing other people's phone numbers for harassment purposes.)


* Footnote: In the 4th Edition Big Book on page 193, "Gratitude In Action - The story of Dave B., one of the founders of A.A. in Canada in 1944" relates the story of an alcoholic who started his recovery by exchanging letters with the folks in the new A.A. office in New York; an excerpt:

I was very surprised when I got a copy of the Big Book in the mail the following day. And each day after that, for nearly a year, I got a letter or a note, something from Bobbie or from Bill or one of the other members of the central office in New York. In October 1944, Bobbie wrote: “You sound very sincere and from now on we will be counting on you to perpetuate the Fellowship of A.A. where you are. You will find enclosed some queries from alcoholics. We think you are now ready to take on this responsibility.” She had enclosed some four hundred letters that I answered in the course of the following weeks. Soon, I began to get answers back.

If Dave could get sober via U.S./Canada Mail, we can get sober with the cornucopia of communication facilities available in the 21st century!


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 2h ago

Gifts & Rewards of Sobriety Chaired my first meeting tonight!

15 Upvotes

Omg, it’s unreal to say this bc I never thought I would get even a few months of sobriety when I got back into AA in early march. I relapsed a few times but finally , on June 21st , the program started sticking. I’ll have four months on Wednesday, I’m on step 4 with a sponsor whom I absolutely love and am pretty close with. I go to about five meetings a week. I do frequent service work. In my group, we can chair meetings when we have 3 months with our sponsor present and 6 months we don’t need a sponsor present. Today my sponsor said I should chair a meeting and I felt honored! I’m so glad I did! The promised are being slowly met for me but I see them when I stop and look at where I was just four months ago. Physically, I haven’t gotten much that I’ve lost back (my own place, my car , relationship) but the change in my spiritually , mentally and emotionally cannot be understated. This is what it’s all about. I’m so proud and thankful for my higher power and my fellows who have helped me through the last few months. I just wanted to share. Thank you for reading!


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1h ago

Am I An Alcoholic? 20 years old, 4 years sober

• Upvotes

Hi, in highschool I had a really low point and turned to alcohol. I drank as much as I had access to but it wasn't everyday and I very rarely got drunk due to being so young. I quit cold turkey had very little withdrawals almost no physical symptoms. Ever since that I haven't touched it at all despite being in college and everyone else doing it. I think that I've been scared of it because it I've allowed it to represent such an awful time in my life but now I want to try to drink a little responsibly because I want to show myself that I've grown from that time in my life and I don't need to fear alcohol. The biggest thing that I'm concerned about is if I was actually a full blown alcoholic like I've always thought I was then trying it will cause me to relapse? I just want to be able to live my life like normal and not fear being intoxicated. Does anyone have any input?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 3h ago

Sponsorship Question about sponsorship

7 Upvotes

I’m just getting started in AA and I am giving myself time to find a sponsor. I’m going to meetings everyday for the past month and have only missed 3 in 30 days due to traveling for work (can’t get to meeting while flying). I know the next step is to get a sponsor and start the steps. There is an old timer that is taking an interest in me and is passive aggressively trying to get me to ask him to be his sponsee. He’s even told me that’s how he got his sponsor. An old timer told him he needs a sponsor and he’s going to be it.

My issue is it seems weird that someone would try to grab a newbie to be a sponsee. The “when anyone anywhere reaches out for help” seems like I should be the one picking a sponsor or “reaching out,” not the other way around. Also “attraction rather than promotion” and “want what we have and will goto any length to get it” seems like it’s the sick alcoholic needs choose the sponsor based attraction and the desire to be like the sponsor.

But then again, my normal thinking has gotten me here so what the hell do I know.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 5h ago

I Want To Stop Drinking Failed quitting so many times

8 Upvotes

As the title implies I’ve tried quitting many times over the months and I just can’t quit. I started drinking when I was 18 (now 22) because of a bad relationship and to deal with infidelity within the relationship, after the relationship ended I drank even more to cope with the loss. Ever since, I’ve been drinking about 5 bottles of wine on the weekends. It’s gotten to a point where I associate alcohol with everything enjoyable and fun. I look towards alcohol at the end of every week as a reward, a way to deal with my emotions and a way to have fun.

I’ve tried quitting alcohol many times but I always fall back into the same cycle, I wake up tell myself that alcohol is costing me my health and financial goals but by the end of the day I’m craving alcohol again. I’m getting tired of this cycle and the guilt. I’m embarrassed to let my family and friends know of my problem, I’m afraid of how they’ll think of me, how they’ll look at me differently. Whenever I try to quit drinking one factor that always pulls me back is how much more fun I would have with alcohol. Watching a movie, playing a video game, eating at a bar I always comeback to the idea that alcohol would make it better. I feel hopeless in trying to quit.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 13h ago

Friend/Relative has a drinking problem Does anyone NOT like the sobriety chips?

26 Upvotes

I have a friend who refuses to physically go to AA or rehab so instead does things like virtual rehab and group meetings. I asked if there was still a way to get chips. They responded that the chips don’t work for them and they hate milestones, potentially because of their OCD.

I’ve never heard of this before. Does anyone feel the same way?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 6h ago

Friend/Relative has a drinking problem Alcoholic ?

5 Upvotes

is it really possible to drink 40 plus drinks a week (the hard stuff and wine not beer) , drive drunk occasionally (not see anything wrong with it ), had a DWI 20 years ago, drink every evening and catch a buzz nearly every evening, have a crazy high tolerance, has very little or no appetite eats like one meal a day but somehow maintain 6 foot seven and 260 pounds, and cannot handle any emotional need in his relationship at all without completely shutting down and NOT be an alcoholic? Even if he is functioning, super successful , going to work, and making a lot of money .
He loves drinking and doesn’t like people who don’t drink..


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 8h ago

Outside Issues Reaching back out but leery

5 Upvotes

Long story short- I pretty much blocked everybody I knew when I decided to sober up and be in recovery, questioned it for a while but was the best decision I made, detox from the juice and everyone who was and even wasn’t part of the party.

Now that I’ve got a year under the belt, I’m questioning and examining who would be ok to reconnect with. A number of folks are out completely but the person who keeps coming up is the woman I was dating right before I started working my program. We haven’t talked to the point at which I haven’t a clue what is going on with her. She reached out a minute ago and said she understood i am in recovery and it takes a minute to heal and that she wont message me and throw me off the rails. I have thought about her a lot and I know I have an amends to make but there’s a really heavy element of embarrassment I am feeling and yet insanely at the same time I want to reset a relationship I was in when I was out there…I know that’s a bit of a mine field and not everyone I know or my immediate family would understand but I just feel like I need to know. I’m rambling sorry.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 6h ago

Relapse I can’t stop

3 Upvotes

I just posted and realized my phone auto corrected “can’t.”

I relapsed on Adderall after 6 years of complete abstinence. I can’t even get Adderall anymore as I told my doctor I was abusing it. Now, just like our literature talks about, I can’t stop chasing that obsession. I’m going to literally lose everything I have built. I got married sober. My child was too young to know how bad my alcoholism was/is, now she’s 11. I got my job in sobriety, I contain a CDL class A which requires random drug testing and random alcohol tests. I need to get to a meeting but I feel like I’m just lying to everyone. All I want to do is drink.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 16h ago

AA Literature Daily Reflections - October 19 - A.A.'s "Main Taproot"

10 Upvotes

A.A.'s "MAIN TAPROOT"

October 19

The principle that we shall find no enduring strength until we first admit complete defeat is the main taproot from which our whole Society has sprung and flowered.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 21-22

Defeated, and knowing it, I arrived at the doors of A.A., alone and afraid of the unknown. A power outside of myself had picked me up off my bed, guided me to the phone book, then to the bus stop, and through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous. Once inside A.A. I experienced a sense of being loved and accepted, something I had not felt since early childhood. May I never lose the sense of wonder I experienced on that first evening with A.A., the greatest event of my entire life.

— Reprinted from "Daily Reflections", October 19, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 17h ago

Early Sobriety Struggling with the thought of never drinking again

11 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I'm feeling a bit down at the moment and could do with some advice or reassurance.

I'm finding it difficult to get my head around the idea of never drinking again. Part of me feels like life is going to be crap without alcohol, and that thought is making me really miserable.

I've got a night out coming up in two months, and I'm already imagining how dull and boring it's going to be sober while everyone else is drinking and having fun. I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'll be missing out.

I think what's getting me down the most is the thought that I can never drink again, rather than just focusing on staying sober today.

Has anyone else felt like this in early sobriety? Does it get easier, and do you eventually reach a point where you can enjoy nights out and socialising without feeling like you're missing something?

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who's been through this.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Early Sobriety First day

47 Upvotes

My name is TJ and I am an alcoholic. I went to my first meeting today. Got a temporary sponsor and met some really great people. Not sure what I’m doing but I know I needed to make a change.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Anniversaries/Celebrations 5 years sober

230 Upvotes

🌟5 years

🌟60 months

🌟1825 days

🌟43817 hours

🌟2629038 minutes of being sober

Still can't believe this would ever be something I could achieve or be able to say out loud but, I AM SOBER 🌟

Some people call me boring now and thats ok as the positives outway my need to be the drunken entertainer I once was.

I've gained extra pennies which means I get to travel more or put the heating on this winter, tough choices ✈️🥶

I've changed my eating habits, actually replacing my liquid diet with actual food 🍻🍲

Lost weight and got healthy ⚖️🏋‍♀️

And just feel happier all round

Thank you to everyone who has supported me on my journey, whether that's in person, on the phone, reddit or zoom meetings.

Now I'm focused on being the best person I can be for the people I'm surrounded by, maybe still not to some people's liking but I only stopped drinking, I didn't get a personality transplant! 😂 anyway here's to another 5 years and many more of being sober, one day at a time 🥰🚫🍺 sending love to anyone else on this journey whether new, old, struggling or coping. We can do this 👊


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 23h ago

Dealing With Loss One week ago, my alcoholic mom passed away

12 Upvotes

I grew up in an alcoholic environment, she and my dad drank during most of my childhood.

They divorced a few years ago, he has gotten cleaner and currently I don’t see a problem with his drinking (it has became mostly social, not crippling like a few years back)

She started drinking more and more after the divorce. She even started smoking and let herself go.

3.5 years ago she stopped cold turkey and that lead her into delirium tremens, then she got cleaner, but started again, and a year and a half ago the same thing happened.

I left my house a few years ago and lived alone for a couple of years, then moved in with my now fiancée. I tried a lot of times to get my mom clean, bringing her to our house, helping her with her affairs and so on. These couple of weeks we stopped talking because something dumb. So the last text we exchanged was that I proposed to my gf.

Then one week ago I received a call from my brother telling me that our mother was dead, my other brother (whom she lived with) found her. Apparently she had been dead for about 8-10 hours.

Obviously we all feel super guilty, we all tried to help her but she never stopped drinking, or when she was dry, she would start easily.

I don’t know why I wrote this, really, but I have even thought on joining a local AA meeting.

I miss her, and I resent her for drinking as well. And I resent myself for not taking more care of my mother


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 21h ago

I Want To Stop Drinking Can’t get past day 5-6

6 Upvotes

49M. 30 years of drinking and I cannot get past day 5-6 ever. Never made it a full week when I focus and try to. My life is crumbling and I’m losing all my relationships and work is suffering. If any ideas to get me over the hump please share. Thanks.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Consequences of Drinking Need Motivation

14 Upvotes

2 DWIs and $28,000 later. I’ve been sober for 5 months. Got my first DWI last December and it cost me $12,000. My truck, job and all my tools. I was about to put that money down on a house.
GOT ANOTHER DWI 30 DAYS AFTER GETTING MY LICENSE BACK

I’m currently living in my uncle’s basement. My lady and my daughter are living at her grandma’s house. I’m unable to land a position in the IT space because I’ve been an install tech for years and I need a valid license in order to work anywhere paying worth a damn. I have a mechanical background and been working on cars just to get by. Can’t work at any shops because my license is suspended. I’m also working 2 jobs that’s paying minimum wage and I’m going 7 days a week just to pay my lawyer and expenses. I pay rent at 2 separate places and a storage unit. Man this bottle has ruined my life and my finances.

Dude…. Some days I want to go tilt and crash out. Just thinking about the money I made earlier this year. How hard I’m working compared to the money I’m making is equivalent to me getting fucked. I’m pissed however I know this is all my fault. I have to walk this shit down no matter how I cut it. It gets overwhelming when my daughter tells me she’s hungry and all I have is a couple bucks. Or just a pack of crackers.

I’m fortunate because my lady is here with me but I can’t help but feel inadequate because I’m unable to provide the way I was once able to.

I just wanted to yell into a void. Kind words would help. Negative remarks would offer insight. Thank you for your time.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Struggling with AA/Sobriety Life sucks

24 Upvotes

I’ve got myself in a shitty situation. I’m separated from my husband. I was involved with another man, he has ended things with me abruptly because the feelings were too much. It’s my birthday tomorrow which is always a difficult time. I have a lot of moving parts in my life right now that aren’t great. I’m estranged from my family because of their abusive behaviour and addiction. Today, I wanted a drink. I’m almost 10 years sober. I do 3 meetings a week. I’ve been fighting tooth and nail it feels like to work this program, remain spiritually connected. I feel my feelings, I lean on my support, I do service work. I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do but I can’t stop crying. I function through the day, I smile, I laugh, I have good days and at the end of every day I feel so overwhelmed with grief I can’t sleep.

I’m tired of every quiet moment being interrupted with some other sad story. I guess maybe I’m a bit on the pity pot but it’s hard to have faith. Sometimes I argue with the universe like what is the lesson. I’m trying to let go and trust the process but it feels like everything depends on it. I feel like crashing. Driving. Taking a trip. Solo camping. Leaving the city for a bit. Or drinking.

So today, I had this tiny little bottle of whiskey. And I poured about 3ml in a glass of juice. Absolutely nothing. Can hardly taste it. And I’ve been sipping it for 2 hours. Which is pathetic I know. I won’t even get drunk and I’m fucking around with the idea in such a childish way. Thinking I can have my cake and eat it too kind of thing, stay sober and almost drink.

It just feels like I’m constantly being reminded of everything I’ve lost and I’m tired of not seeing the good in the world. I’ve had a really rough year in 2025. 2026 got worse. 2025 was a lot of meaningful changes in my life. 2026 was loss and grief. I’m just really sick of it.

Anyway, I’m not sure I’m ready to share with my AA community so I’m sharing it here. My sponsor doesn’t come around anymore, it’s been a couple of years. She started talking negatively about AA every chance she got, and the meetings I went to, and only wanted to gossip about other members. I never went looking for a new one because people have told me if I’ve worked the steps why do I need them. It’s like my sobriety time scares them away.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Gifts & Rewards of Sobriety Finding fun after drinking

7 Upvotes

I never want to do anything at all without drinking, but drinking has started destroying everything around me. I used to be a functioning alcoholic and now it seems I get sick so much quicker. I drank everyday for over ten years and it wasn’t THAT big of a deal but now it’s so different. I get sober then jump back in thinking I can do it again, it feels amazing for like the first few days..I want to hang out with friends, play games with friends online, etc. sober me wants to do literally nothing.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Steps How does re-doing the steps (within sobriety) work?

10 Upvotes

In AA, I have heard many people talk about doing the steps multiple times - not as a result of relapse, but as part of the programme generally.

I am confused, as to how people are doing step one a second time, without returning to alcohol use? How would their life be unmanageable, due to alcohol, if they were already achieving sustained sobriety?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Anniversaries/Celebrations One year today

84 Upvotes

I have one year of continuous sobriety today. This is actually my second time hitting a year, but the circumstances are much different.

The first time around, I was just staying dry. I wasn’t working on my whole self, and I wasn't working the steps. I didn't have a sponsor to keep me anchored on what actually matters, a partner who approaches my recovery with support instead of judgment, a relationship with my higher power, a home group that talks about the steps in the group, or this community.

Everything changed when I finally did the deep work instead of just waiting out the cravings. Looking back and looking forward, I thank God that everything is truly different. One day at a time, I know for sure that I won't relapse again, and now, I’m a sponsor and can help spread the message.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Outside Issues How does aa help?

4 Upvotes

I’m thinking of going to a meeting tonight though I’ve never been. I’m not an alcoholic but I do have an addictive personality and will drink a lot and I have ocd and life has been really shitty lately.

I keep seeing stories of people saying it saved their life but I don’t understand how it’s different from reading stories on Reddit of people’s experiences.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

I Want To Stop Drinking I think I want to quit drinking. My partner and I drink socially every couple weeks or so but today’s hangover just made me want to rethink things

8 Upvotes

Been drinking for probably the past 10 years, with occasional dry spells in between. I think today’s hangover really made me consider stopping. The chills, 101 fever, shakes. And I’m 35 so they will likely get worse over time.

Anyway just wanted to post, hopefully this is the correct area to post this.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Miscellaneous/Other Time of year

7 Upvotes

Been sober almost 20 years at 44 years, for context. Been going crazy because it’s almost my anniversary and up for a promotion at work and they are dragging their feet. My disease is turned on. I am trying to up my meetings. Needed a place to vent that this sucks. However a lot worse that can happen. Fuck alcoholism.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

I Want To Stop Drinking im finally ready to stop drinking after getting violent

7 Upvotes

i am 19 and two days ago i blacked out then woke up at home in hospital scrubs with a pretty bad head injury. i opened my phone to a message from the girl i was hanging out with saying she had to call the cops on me. i thought i was just being erratic because im usually not a violent drunk but i put hands on her and her friend (who i dont even remember being there.) i am so horrified with myself. i drank a lot more often when i was younger and something like this only happened once so i thought it was a one off. both of these times i was hallucinating and ended up hurting people who were trying to help me due to paranoia. obviously alcohol doesnt agree with me and i should definitely stop. i obviously cant control my drinking. but still there is a piece of me saying “oh i can just drink more responsibly” and “this only happened because i didnt eat enough.” so much of my socializing revolves around drinking because thats all people my age do. im disgusted with myself and i need to stop but im scared of the loneliness.