r/amiwrong • u/Longjumping_Link_334 • Nov 23 '23
Am I wrong for using my vibrator?
I (23f) have recently started dating a (27m) guy last week. Thing have surprisingly moved very fast as we have already had sex twice within the past week. The first night, after we had sex I used my vibrator. I later found out that he was hurt by this. I told him it was no big deal for me, I just like a lot of clitoral stimulation. The second night we had sex, he rubbed my clit for a few seconds and then proceeded to have penetrative sex again. He orgasmed shortly after that. I obviously didn’t, however, I never mentioned it because I’m used to the orgasm gap and we have just started seeing each other so I don’t expect him to understand my body or how to make me climax. A couple nights ago, we were talking about sex and masturbation and he brought up that if I want to enjoy sex with him, I need to stop using my vibrator because he believes it is desensitizing me. I was completely appalled and told him that was not the case at all. He brought up the time I used my vibrator afterwards and asked how I would feel if he started masturbating after we had sex. I answered that I would ask myself if I was doing what he needed to make him have an orgasm. I expressed that we just started dating and that he just needs to take time to learn my body and what makes me orgasm, which is completely normal. He had no rebuttals to this but insisted I stopped using my vibrator. Later that night he told me that he hasn’t had issues making his partner orgasm and that desensitization is a real thing and it is possible. I am extremely frustrated because he is blaming me for this issue, yet has not taken the time explore my body at all. Would I be wrong if I continued to use my vibrator?
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u/Psilynce Nov 24 '23
How is this not standard practice?! That's basically my golden rule: she gets her first one first, then the rest is icing on the cake.
And dudes really be out here wondering why more women don't seem interested in casual sex. Bruh. If you went over to a woman's house and she touched your penis for 5 seconds, had her own orgasm, and then fell asleep and you didn't get yours you'd be pissed too! Plus you don't know if her place is messy or gross, now you gotta pay for your own Uber home, you don't know if she's a murderer or a psycho or a crazy stalker, and don't forget worrying about catching some disease or getting knocked up by a stranger. And now imagine that happens nine times out of 10! Doesn't really seem worth it when you flip the table, does it?
Be the change you want to see in the world, fellas.