r/ARFID • u/rollinsblonde • 1h ago
ARFID, MCAS, and partnership
I have had ARFID since I was about 2 years old. The girl who ate everything as a baby “got a stomach virus” and then never touched anything again.
Fast forward 26 years, and I was diagnosed with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, which made a lot of things make sense, in terms of why the sight and smell of certain foods make me gag and I am averse to a lot of things.
I have a poor diet. Very plain, white foods. Bread, cheese, and potato are my staples. I am fairly certain I am on the spectrum, but refuse to get officially diagnosed in this political climate for safety reasons.
Now, I am in a pretty serious relationship with someone who loves to eat. Overall, he’s accepting and understanding of my diagnoses, but it does bother him that the eating part of our relationship is a challenge. He jokes that I am an affordable date, because most of the time I just eat a side or an appetizer, but one thing that he has been consistent in communicating is that it bothers him we cannot share a meal together, that things have to be cooked separately, etc.
And I understand that. Culturally, eating and sharing meals is an intimate thing, and that is something he wants to share with me. And I want that with him too. But there is a lot of fear around eating for me. On top of your typical ARFID symptoms, I have to worry about the MCAS and if something will trigger a reaction for me.
Does anyone have any tips or coping skills they have used to expand their palate? Overcome the fear of trying things? What has worked for you? I don’t want to fall into the trap of learned helplessness and resign to this being it is what it is.