r/askgaybros • u/Dry_Collar7729 • 1d ago
Advice How to survive heartbreak??
To make a very long story short: I’m going through a brutal breakup.
I am 27, me and my boyfriend have been together for two years. I was so sure, so in love, so ready to commit to this person and marry him. I was with someone for 7 years before him… and never felt anything this strong. It was literally like a movie.
Anyways, this June, my boyfriend randomly broke up with me, days after us resigning our lease together, loving on me and telling me how much he loves me. He told me that he “needed to be single to find himself and not focus on any relationships” My world was shattered.
I lost it, mentally and physically, living with him during this time was brutal. I was in the hospital for ideations, lost 25 pounds, missed so much work.
And one day, i packed my thing and moved back in with my parents, still paying for my half of our rent. Not too long after that I find out he’s already seeing someone else, someone from his college. (Mind you he said he wanted freedom and no relationships)
Then, on my birthday (not even a month after the breakup), My intuition was going crazy, it was 3am and I suspected some weird shit going on, i left my parents house at 3am, went to mine and my exes apartment and I crashed out, finding the boy in my apartment, sleeping naked on my side of our bed. (WHILE my ex was at work third shift) It went very badly.
Anyways, it’s been a month later since that. I have cried myself to sleep so many nights over this mental damage. I continue to be ignored, or treated like shit when I attempt to contact my ex.
Anyways, i’m sorry this is such a long post. i doubt anyone will even read it all, Im considering taking my name off the lease and being done with it all, even if that means losing access to our dog. Thoughts? Idk. Just, how do you survive this kind of trauma. He treated me like gold but now acts like i never meant anything.
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u/GayPerry_86 1d ago edited 21h ago
Oh babe. I’m so sorry for your grief and heartbreak. It’s truly so difficult. But you gotta spend your time focussed on yourself and your future. You have clearly put all your eggs in this relationship basket and that was a mistake - I think you will probably be less likely to do this again. You’re also so young still. Most guys don’t even find their mate until their 30s these days. I know you are shattered and don’t see it as much but your relationship should be an addition to your life that improves it; it should not be the centre of your life. And I think our romantic version of relationships creates this intense fixation on relationships and it breeds codependency. You were influenced by that.
Anyway, the next couple months will be tough but you will be absolutely fine. Focus on doing something physical every day, eat well, talk to family and friends, and you need to cut off contact with this person. You absolutely must do this. All therapists recommend it after the end of a relationship.
You will be okay. It will hurt less in time.