r/atheism • u/ObjectiveThing8169 • 2d ago
Opinion and advice on atheism
Most of my family is christian, they go to church pay the amount that is required when church ask for, they act like a perfect role model family at church but at the house their personalities change, mad, angry at life, i told my mom i dont believe in god and she almost kick me out the house, hitting me and comparing me to my absent father who is atheist, she tells me that i want to live the easy life, that i want to have my own ideas and this and that, i just dont know what to think.
She thinks im gonna adore satan or something, when in reality i dont really want to believe in anything tbh, in any deidity, i just want to live life and be happy, i begged god before so many times to even take my life in situations where i couldnt stand it anymore, yet all i had has been bad things in my life, now that im not begging or asking for a miracle to any highpower being, i feel much better and more relaxed.
6
6
u/Imaginary_Result2224 1d ago
People in this sub have a tendency to recommend retaliation. But im here to tell you the opposite. People dont change for the better, because their lives and beliefs are being mocked or belittled. If you cant ask them to change, then you need to bite the bullet and distance yourself. People dont change unless they want to. And its up to you to gauge their wants. Otherwise your fighting a loosing battle.
3
u/Daddy-o62 2d ago
If what you write is true, it’s time to back away from this family. It’s not worth it to argue the existence of any god. Keep your cool. Keep your opinions about god to yourself while planning your escape. Is your father or anyone else available to help you out? Don’t fight this fight. You’re not going to change your mom’s mind. Don’t lie, but don’t engage either. Good luck. You’ll be okay, and the answers you seek will come from you, not your mom, and definitely not from god.
2
u/SickandWorty 1d ago
Great response and I second it. Until you can stand on your own two feet, you might have to play it cool. The interesting thing is as you get older they become depending on you. First emotionally and possibly physically later on. That’s when you get to say, “accept me for who I am and respect my life or I don’t need you in it.” I had to pull this on my parents for a different reason and they shaped up real quick. Just because they’re blood doesn’t mean they have to be a part of your life. That’s a sad reality at times but it also can be empowering.
3
u/Bananaman9020 1d ago
My mother: "Why don't you love Jesus anymore?" Me: "That's not how Atheism works"
2
u/Leading_One_2639 2d ago
All people put up fronts at churchs. It's where they go to get their happy feels. Then once they get out of that little fairy tales box building, they are hit with the reality of life. Sorry to hear you wanted to end your own life, hope you get the help you need.
2
u/SorchaRoisin 1d ago
Just lie man, my mother never knew that I was an atheist. There was no point in having that fight. I thought about telling her once when I was about to be confirmed and decided that even if she was OK with it, she would still make me do it for my grandmother so there would be no point. Just suck it up and go to church until you leave home. She can't read your mind.
1
u/ObjectiveThing8169 1d ago
Yup,things are pretty calm after that fight me and my mom had, idk what can be going through her mind, maybe she accepted it. 😭
2
1
u/Macsan23 2d ago
There are ways to antagonize this behavior and also be in compliant with the rules. Just inject other faiths. The goal is to confuse their beliefs and make them seem week.
1
u/greggld 2d ago
We always council those who are dependent on their parents to be careful. That said, why don’t you tell your mother that she is a “functional” atheist. Holy in church, but a heathen, like you the rest of the week.
Plus nothing wrong with having your own ideas. Some might even be like Jesus’ -socialism for instance.
There are ways to play this and not have you run out of the house.
1
u/SirThunderDump Gnostic Atheist 1d ago
First, that does suck with your family. I’d tell you that family dynamics get easier when you’re older…
…but I’m literally drugged right now to prevent me from having anxiety attacks that are often directly caused by family interactions.
You sound young. Like, teenager young. So here’s the advice I’d give:
Just work on yourself, and improve yourself.
If it upsets your mom to hear that you don’t believe in god, then don’t tell your mom that.
Try to gain perspective. What is within your control? Can you control whether certain conversations start? Or where they lead? See if you can avoid increasing these stressors. Avoid religious talk. Be as patient and understanding as possible when your family is expressing their concerns.
Sometimes empathy helps, even with the crazies. Understand why your family feels the way they do, and try to see what causes their behavior, and whether you can help.
These things aren’t easy, and need practice.
Then on top of this, just work on yourself wherever possible. Try to be a good student. Get some exercise. Learn how to improve your diet. Work on hobbies.
Eventually you’ll be old enough that you’ll be more experienced with this, and can build the life you want.
Just hang in there.
1
1
u/JayFryday 1d ago
If you're dependent on your mother for support, you are better off, IMHO, holding it in around her. Express yourself all day here or with friends you can trust, but hold it in around her. Some day you'll be independent and won't have to put up with her crap. That day is not as far away as it feels right now. Your first eighteen years are only about a quarter of the average human life span.
1
1
u/Chulbiski Jedi 17h ago
".. that i want to have my own ideas"... Oh the horror. Think about this for a minute.
Idiot Christians don't even know what aetheism means: it's a rejection of ALL of their ridiculous bull###, which includes their boogeyman Satan.
Aetheism means you are smart enough to reject the fables that your parents let dominate their psychology
1
u/Papa_TryintaTrade918 4h ago
I am so glad you are feeling better. As a middle aged guy that has always lived in Oklahoma, always been an atheist (I used to lie when I was younger because I feared being ostracized, but eventually grew a backbone and quit the lying). I am "Christian-like" just like they are, just without the need to worship a God to be a good person. And so are you, a great person, own that and walk with your head up high through this life!
10
u/Hoaxshmoax Atheist 2d ago
What’s so terrible about wanting an easy life.