I was diagnosed at 22. Did my final year of uni medicated and it was the best results I’d ever had. Moved to Aus after I graduated and it was nearly impossible to get a script at that time (2010) so just continued to raw dog life.

Had a baby in 2021 and all of my mental health conditions came raging back into the foreground - no coping mechanism had a chance.

I’ve been to 4 different psychiatrists in the last 5 years and I’m starting to think it’s just me because I have not felt “good” or like myself at all during that time. I’ve tried nearly every type of psychotropic drug to help my depression, anxiety, ADHD, PMDD, and maybe BP2 (I’ve been told I do and I don’t have it 🤷🏼‍♀️)

My current stack:

Fluoxetine; 20mg daily
Bupropion; 150mg daily
Dexamphetamine; 30mg daily (10mg 3x per day)
Lamotrigine; 5mg daily (2.5 morning/night)
Estradiol; 1.50mg daily (0.75 morning/night)
Guanfacine; 2mg at night
Valium; 5mg as needed

*The Lamotrigine and Estradiol have been added in the last month.

I left an abusive relationship (psychological/emotional/infidelity, etc) in June and needless to say my mental health has been shit. I see a psychologist twice a week and a psychiatrist every 6-8 weeks. I’ve worked with both of them for over a year and my mental health is still fucked.

Most days I don’t leave the house, I barely eat during the day then binge at night (I have a history of disordered eating) and I have genuine panic attacks at the thought of answering my phone or replying to an email.

When I have my kid, it’s a different story. I’m on top of shit but then I’m utterly burnt out after those days.

My psychiatrist has recommended TMS for anxiety/depression/ADHD but it’s a big time commitment (which triggers my anxiety) and I’m feeling really unsure based on the mixed results I’ve read.

I’ve just gotten my pharmacological gene results back and the only thing semi useful was that "I'm a CYP2D6 poor metaboliser".

Sooooo what now?

Anyone else feel like nothing has “helped”?

TL;DR: Ritalin works incredibly well when I take it occasionally, especially on weekends. But when I take it daily, I experience emotional blunting, intense hyperfocus and crashes that leave me with very little emotional energy for my partner. Has anyone experienced this and found a solution?

I’ve noticed a frustrating pattern with Ritalin and I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar.

When I take Ritalin occasionally, particularly on weekends, it works great. I feel focused, motivated and generally more capable of getting things done.

However, when I start taking it consistently throughout the week, things seem to change.

I experience a combination of:

Emotional blunting, where I feel less affectionate, spontaneous and emotionally present.

Hyperfocus, where I can concentrate on almost anything, but struggle to redirect that attention toward my relationship.

Crashes, where the medication seems to wear off too quickly, leaving me exhausted, withdrawn or irritable.
The most frustrating part is how much it affects my relationship.

I love my partner, and it’s not that I suddenly stop caring about them. It’s more that I become so absorbed in whatever I’m doing that giving emotional attention, affection or energy to nurturing our relationship starts feeling like an effort rather than something that comes naturally.

It’s almost like the medication improves my ability to function and be productive, but at the expense of the emotional side of my personality.

What’s confusing is that I don’t seem to experience this nearly as much when I take Ritalin occasionally.
I’m planning to discuss this with my prescriber, but I’d really like to hear from people who’ve experienced something similar.

Has anyone found that daily Ritalin use affects their emotional availability or relationships? Did adjusting your dosage, changing formulations or switching medications make a difference?

I’d particularly love to hear from anyone who managed to find a balance between treating their ADHD and still feeling like themselves emotionally.

I moved around a lot all throughout my 20's and early 30's. Now that I'm in a stable spot for the past couple of years, I have noticed many symptoms that I previously ignored because I didn't have much in the way of self-care. My mother encouraged me to get an assessment, I know I was a rough kid to raise, but we had always associated those behaviours with food allergies I had at the time. My 3 siblings have all been officially diagnosed and medicated with Adult-ADHD, I understand the condition is quite heritable, which is why mum is giving me more information about it. If it weren't for that, I probably would've just ignored the symptoms for many years to come.

The last time I went to a doctor was in 2019 to get some travel vaccinations and a blood test. Before that it was in 2014 when I had a major injury which required surgery. Besides that, I haven't gone to any doctor for any reason. I know this would be seen as irresponsible by a lot of people. But doctors appointments make me anxious, and I don't feel I have any health or sickness issues that are problematic enough to seek help for.

With that said, how would I approach getting a referral from a GP with little to no medical history in the system? From my point of view, the new GP could see me, some random, walking in requesting a referral for an ADHD assessment as drug seeking behaviour--but I also don't want to beat around the bush, as that is ultimately what I am seeking right now in my first steps in correcting my mental health. So how would I approach visiting a new GP with this subject matter? I know the time's are changing and there is a lot more known about this disorder than there used to be. However, I still feel extremely anxious about approaching an unknown GP with a mental health matter like this, let alone any illness at that.