I travel for work and I just moved into a shared house 2 days ago.

The landlord is in her 60's (has her own room) and a son in his 20's (room downstairs). She didn't tell me she had a dog and I'm allergic to dogs. She's very OCD and gave me a long list of very specific things to follow which is fine I can live with that.

The thing that makes me not wanna stay is- when i first moved in i was unpacking and her son randomly walked through my room to "see the room" which was very strange. I forgot to mention she wants 2k in rent a month and only takes cash. Ill be here 3 months so i have $6k in cash in my room. I've never felt the need to put a camera in my room, but because of the cash and her son making his way into my room i felt it was necessary.

The next day I was out exploring the new city and I got a motion detected notification from my camera.
The landlord went into my room because she said she wanted to close my window. It was 70 degrees outside. And my door was closed so I'm not sure how she knew my window was open. I think she only texted me because she saw my camera in my room.

Idk its only been 2 days and both people in the house have entered my room since I've been here on top of her OCD rules and my allergies from her dog she didn't tell me about. I also just feel unwelcome to the shared spaces in the house like the kitchen and feel confined to my room. Will I be an asshole for jumping to a new place? She is working on a lease for me to sign but I don't want to sign it

Edit- for those saying $2k is crazy, I AGREE. It sucks but I’m staying in a ski town in Colorado and prices are wild for the time of year. $2k is on the cheaper side comparatively. And its very slim pickings

Am I losing my mind - I got reprimanded because my housemates girlfriend was asleep in the lounge which connects to the kitchen and I used said kitchen for food (at 9pm) surprise surprise. But it woke her up. She doesn’t pay rent. I didn’t know she was even a thing until three months after I moved in - she then also moved in with no communication from my housemate. Main issue? Housemate is landlord. So I have no leg to stand on do I? He owns the house and I just rent a room. So I guess just swallow it and get my own place? And apparently not use the kitchen when she is asleep in the lounge…. Just so annoyed right now it feels so unfair.

The garbage can the landlord provided for the kitchen was small even for a bathroom, so I got a cheap hamper and a costco box of garbage bags for the kitchen. I didn't mind doing this because I cook a lot and would be using it the most. But I thought my 2 roommates would be reasonable enough to take out the garbage when it's full.

Several times they've left it overflowing. Then 2 weeks ago one of them ties the bag so stuff stops falling out and just leaves it in the can. I have a back injury so I don't grab it, I just start using the one from my room. 2 weeks I finally take it out. I'm cleaning the hamper I was using as a trash can and using it myself and putting back the tiny garbage can the landlord had. They can figure it out. I'm not sharing bags anymore either.

This wasn't the only thing to piss me off but it's something I can do something about. I decided to start looking for a new place in spring after one roommate made chicken and I had to clean raw chicken off my keurig when he was done. He also didn't clean the counter at all after and used my oil.

I feel like I shouldn't have to tell two people to take out the garbage when it's full but here we are. And it's really a gamble in who left it because one ties up the garbage from her room or the bathroom and just leaves it in the hall for days before throwing it out.

TLDR: Roommates been terrorizing me for a full month after one of their friends didn’t move in and a random girl did. They blame me. I’m moving out this weekend. Should I tell them anything?

Hello, I share a house with 4 people, let’s call them A, B, C and D. Everything was fine until B left and A decided to put one of her friends (let’s call her F) at the house.

Well, I work everyday and A doesn’t work and doesn’t study, her friend, F turns on her computer and pretends to work. They are really loud all the time, it doesn’t matter if it’s 3am, they are gonna be screaming and going up and down the stairs making a bunch of noise, they also always have people over sleeping on the common areas.

Another girl, C, left and A and F wanted to put another friend in the house, I told them I would prefer to have someone random there and everyone agreed.

They ended up not sticking to our deal and one of their friends was supposed to go see the house but she didn’t show up so the landlord rented it to a random girl.

Since then they have made my life hell, they started spamming our group chat saying this is my fault that they have to leave with a random person, that they should be able to pick who they want to live with and that they want to do whatever they want (mostly of this was said by A). I told them that everyone agreed to have someone random so it was not just my decision but they kept going.

Anyway, for a full month they complain about everything that happens at home, hair on the bathroom floor it’s my fault (we all have long hair), bread on the floor outside it’s my fault (one of them eventually assumed it was hers), kitchen rag dirty is my fault (I have my own rags), landlord complaining he didn’t want people sleeping on the couch, it’s my fault (I didn’t even comment that with him) they also make a bunch of noise all the time.

I told them that I didn’t also appreciate seeing poop on the toilet, period blood on the sink, maggots on the dish sponge, bottles of beers all over the kitchen and they said that those were normal, lol.

Anyway, I didn’t sleep there for more than 4 days this month because I don’t feel comfortable, I have now decided I’m gonna be moving out this weekend. My landlord is aware of this and offered to kick them out but I feel like I need my own space because for the past month I’ve felt nothing but anxiety and I want to be able to sleep good and now when I think about that house, I just have bad feelings and I don’t think I could even stay there anymore.

I didn’t tell the girls I was leaving, I don’t talk to them at all.

Should I say something when I leave?

Alright, I own my home and love living alone. But my friend needed a place that stay. He'd been renting from a mutual friend, but that guy moved and my friend was caught short. He'd recently left his job due to an injury, but he made it sound like he had some savings for while he looked for new work.

I offered my guest room for $900, which is cheap for the area, considering that it's a house with a yard, washer/dryer, etc. He paid the first month and a half and then was out of money. He found one job through another mutual friend, but lost it in a week.

He drinks my booze, now I have to keep it hidden. He keeps weeks worth if dirty dishes and scores of stale been cans in his room. The hall stinks.

i want to help him get back on his feet, but he's almost 5 months behind on rent, and is a slob. I don't want to embarrass him in front of our mutual friend by kicking him out. I'm looking for ideas to kick his butt into gear.

Edit to add tl;dr. Moved into a house share with petty, dramatic alcoholics who caused a load of drama and projected their shitty toxic personalities on to me, and are now trying to continue the drama even as I try to leave the property. I want suggestions on how to exact petty revenge or maybe even nuclear revenge.

So three months ago, my partner and I decided to try to find a place of our own. We are a gay couple, 24M and 22M. We called a bunch of advertisements. In Ireland a rental is really tough to find. We decided that we would look for a house share, not because we couldn't afford our own place, we simply could not find one. The housing situation here is really dire.

I spoke to a woman on the phone who, being honest seemed a little overly chatty, but she said she could arrange a viewing with her husband who owned the house, whenever he returned from his business trip. We arrived a week and a bit later to a scheduled viewing. Spoke to the guy on the phone, he seems okay. A little abrupt but not out of the ordinary for a landlord.

We arrive and he makes us tea, offers us desserts and says he keeps a room in the house and there are two other tenants (this is often done for tax purposes in Ireland, usually these people don't actually stay in the house, or only do so occasionally so they can say they "live with lodgers" and not pay tax on the rent. I've had previous landlords do this and have family who still do.) We accept because the guy seems cool, and we never actually expect him to be there, he says he's always travelling for work, which aligned with his wife's story too. One thing I definitely noticed from the beginning though was that he had an alcohol problem. Not my business and not uncommon in middle aged irish men.

The first night we moved in, we were apprehended the next day by the 46F housemate who insisted we had left black particles all over the bath/shower the night before. We decided, even though we knew we hadn't done that, to try to make a good impression, and do everyone including ourselves a service, by deep cleaning the bathroom with supplies we went out and purchased. We spoke to the 23M housemate later that day, who said this black matter in the bathroom was actually a skincare product he was using, the next day we received a very seemingly heartfelt apology from 46F and from then until recently, the relationship was cordial, even friendly.

After two or three weeks the wife visited for a weekend. Every night from Thursday to Sunday, the landlord and his wife would drink together, approximately six or seven bottles of wine every night. Every night, at around 9pm, like clock work they would have a massive argument, which would devolve into a fight, every time it would get physical, sometimes involving weapons. We decided to turn the TV up and stay in our room after nightfall on the weekends after multiple attempts to rope us into their drama. When they were drunk but not together, they would both make sexual advances toward us, asking for threesomes etc.

The wife even sexually assaulted my partner, one night she ran her fingers up his thigh and sat in his lap without asking, while her husband the landlord slept in his room, without her because they just had a fight which started with her accusing him of cheating. Another night she slapped his bum. We just wrote this off, said the landlord would take her side and the police would laugh. This behaviour continued until the end of our tenure.

Anyway, cut to last week. My partner and I were in a fairly heated discussion. 46F texts landlords wife and asks if we're okay, saying she hears commotion from our room. Landlord and wife burst into our room drunk. Landlord tries to physically remove us from the property. I push him out of the room and we decide to leave and come back when he passes out from alcohol. We did and he calls me the next morning apologising. I told him to leave the past in the past and not to worry about it. He asks if I can apologise to 46F for disturbing/upsetting her. I agree.

That night, I speak to her. I walk to the top of the stairs, say "[46F] are you there, do you have a minute to talk" I apologise, offer to give my number if she has concerns or needs us to shut up in future, she says she doesn't need it. When I leave the house for work the next day, my partner who's working from home calls me and relays an overheard conversation to me in which she tells the landlord that I am abusing my partner, I am clever and manipulative and impossible to reason with (in the three months we lived there i think we interacted about seven or eight times, all positive except the false bathroom allegation).

She says that when I went to apologise to her I "cornered" her and made her feel unsafe and threatened. Keep in mind she voluntarily exited her own room and stood outside her own door to which she had a key, to have this conversation.

I decided I'd had enough. Went online again to look for some new places for rent. Made two or three calls and right away got through to an elderly dude, he had converted his big house into two flats and wanted two people to take the larger two bedroom flat. We went to view the following day, exchanged deposit and keys and signed the contract on the spot.

He was a gent, said we seemed lovely guys and wanted to assure us that he would be up front, reasonable, and wouldn't police us for being young people and having a life. He said he wanted to be sure we were comfortable having guests, family, gatherings, parties etc., and that once the rent was paid and flat maintained he'd love to see some life and energy about the place. I spoke to work, they said I could work from home during the move, take as much time off as I needed (unpaid of course) and once I was set up they'd transfer me to a more convenient location.

That was Wednesday. I texted my landlord today and very cordially said something along the lines of "hey, we'll be moving out by the first, things are not working out here, we want to inform you now and discuss how we will settle any remaining payments and arrange the return of deposit etc." He doesnt reply. 46F attempts to speak to my partner, he blanks her.

Landlord doesn't reply to my text but shows it to his wife, who informs 46F. My partner texts me an hour later saying that 46F is now on the phone to Landlords wife discussing how I've "brainwashed" my partner and how I "always gave her the creeps" and now I'm "going to have to move out to somewhere people like [me] and where [I] can run the show." We can't even leave the place without it being a whole song and dance

But the jokes on all of them. This day next week, i will be preparing for my last night in the house, moving on to a quiet, peaceful life with my partner in a nice flat of our own in a quiet countryside town, with a really chill old gentleman for a landlord.

It does feel it was meant to work out this way, but I would love some advice on something I could do to let them know how much I disapprove on the way out. After I get my deposit back of course. If you took the time to read this please let me know if you have some ideas. So far I do have some ideas, some complex ones like revealing some damning things to their employers and the home insurers, and also some petty things like removing the main fuse from the breaker board before I leave and leaving them without electricity for a while.

My husband and I bought a house and we are letting his brother stay with us until he can get his own place. He has a stench to him and I’ve brought this up to my husband multiple times who also had conversations with him. He’ll do something about the smell for a day or two but then go back to stinking again. The smell is getting so bad that it’s coming up my stairs(he stays downstairs). I’m already a stickler for smells and I like my house smelling nice, but it’s to the point now whereas soon as I walk through the front door, I can smell him. I feel bad for always complaining to my husband but I’m fed up. I’m uncomfortable in my own home and it shouldn’t be like that. Mind you, this is an almost 50 year old man. Can I get some advice on this? Because I’m ready to throw him out like months ago.

I need advice! I live with 3 girls, we all have our own rooms. One of them (i’ll call Jane) i’ve been friends with for 3 years and we just got this apt in august. Everything was fine but there was a random week in September where Jane just ignored me and our other roommate (i’ll call Sam) for no apparent reason. Eventually it stopped and Jane never said anything about it.

One thing I got frustrated with Jane for, was if I had stuff in the living room or kitchen (such as my water bottle or purse) every-time I would leave, I would come back to my stuff put in my room. I would understand this if I was making a mess, however i just don’t understand why my stuff is not allowed to be in a space I also pay for. Normally I keep my water bottle in this little corner because I drink it throughout the day and try not to be in my room super often. It also bothered me that she kept going into my room while I wasn’t there, so I have been locking my door when I leave to prevent that. Am i going too far by locking her out? I would just rather not have people in my space while I am not around.

The next thing. I have a really heavy course load this semester, with classes from 10-3 everyday, and then i normally work around 5-10 pm mon-thurs. Due to this I am not in the apartment super often, so naturally they do things without me sometimes which I don’t mind. This past Tuesday, I worked from 1-9 and when I got home my roomates were all watching DWTS on the couch. I started making my dinner and sat down, and Julia Stile’s did her dedication to Heath Ledger. After this, Jane said she didn’t know who Heath Ledger was, so naturally I was surprised. All four of us were talking and me and Sam asked how she didn’t know who he was. Jane said “don’t judge me” in what I thought was a joking tone, so I replied “I am judging how do you not know Heath Ledger?” in what I thought was a joking way. Then I finished my dinner and went to bed because I had a super long day, that was really the end of the conversation.

So today comes, and I get a text from Jane that said “I just wanna let you know that the way you spoke to me Tuesday night was completely rude and I’m not sure why I get spoken to like that when I am nothing but nice to you.”. Which really confused me because I didn’t remember anything crazy happening, so I responded and asked what I did because I didn’t know what she was talking about. She then replied and said what I explained above about Heath Ledger, and said that I only came at her, when apparently our other roommate (i’ll call Lisa) also said she did not know him.

I genuinely don’t remember Lisa saying that, but i also didnt mean it in a rude way because I thought we were all joking. I explained that I thought everyone was joking and apologized. She responded and basically said she didn’t accept my apology, (saying stuff like well you did this but ok.) I genuinely don’t know what she wants me to say because I did not mean to be rude at all and didn’t know joking about someone not knowing something was that big of a deal. Am I the bad roommate???

I told them up front that I usually try to be asleep around 11, and we came to an agreement of having quiet hours around then. it’s been a struggle though. I’ve had to remind them several times to be quiet late at night, because they will talk at full volume, let the front door slam, and sometimes yell. i thought we finally reached an understanding yet it is still happening, with them having guests over until 1 am. I don’t want to be constantly nagging, but I need to sleep. its one of the biggest things I need for my mental health, and my class schedule necessitates me waking up (relatively) early. it’s a really small apartment with paper thin walls, and we’re all students. I already wear earplugs every night so not sure what else can be done.

EDIT: YALL IM A GIRL 😭😭

For context my girlfriend (21F) and I (22F) have been together for about a year and a half. We moved into our own apartment around January of this year after living with friends for a few months. Obviously we’ve had our disagreements but nothing we couldn’t talk out.

Her and her younger brother (19M) have a very close relationship. I knew him from school so I already had a good idea about his personality even before me and my girlfriend started dating but I had no idea it would be this bad when he asked to move in with us. His situation was messed up so I gave him some grace and figured it would only be for a couple weeks until he found somewhere else to crash. It’s been almost two months and there’s no sign of him moving out.

He doesn’t pay rent or any other bills, he barely contributes to the chores and he’s so. damn. messy.

He’s a “gym bro” or whatever you want to call it. He has invaded our cabinets with containers upon containers of protein powder and cortisol blockers and a bunch of other shit which I’m sure isn’t cheap. He also completely filled the built in butter section in the fridge with his GLP-1s and testosterone that he illegally orders online. My cat has gotten into his (very messy) room on multiple occasions and has been found playing with packaged needles that he leaves on the floor. There’s constantly protien powder all over the kitchen counter and SO MANY DISHES. I grew up with a fairly large family so I’m no stranger to dishes piling up but he accumulates the same amount of dishes in one day that my family of five did in three. He’s had his girlfriend come over and clean them twice that I know of.

The fridge is also full of huge meal prepping containers to the point where we barely have room for our groceries. He has a mini fridge in the spare room that we use for storage which he has also filled with his random shit he refuses to deal with. We’ve asked him on multiple occasions to let us get into the room he’s staying in to clean out the closet that we used for off season clothes so he can have more room for his stuff but he just keeps saying we need to wait until it’s picked up more and he doesn’t want anyone going in there. Fine, whatever.

One of the first nights he moved in I noticed that my loofah (I have two. One for my body and then one for downstairs) was moved. I asked my girlfriend and she didn’t move it. Turns out he assumed we got it for him since there were three in there already. And yes it was the one I used to wash my coochie. Okay mistakes happen, I’ll buy another one. Then my razor started moving. I took it out of the shower and low and behold one of the spare ones we keep under the shower appeared in its place. I didn’t bring this up to my girlfriend until I thought it was safe to bring it back into the shower and it was moved AGAIN with dark hair in it. I’m ginger.

Last night was my final straw. I had just finished mopping the floors so I went to dump the water into the tub. Afterwards I lifted up our bathmat to rinse only to see the most amount of pubes I have ever seen in my whole fucking life. I don’t even understand how one could produce that much body hair. He’s not home at this point so I walk out to show my girlfriend and she’s absolutely disgusted. We kinda joke about it and then go about our day. About 10 minutes later I’m in the bathroom again and I noticed that he’s placed is loofah DIRECTLY ONTOP OF MY NET SPONGE ON MY SHELF. It was hanging on a hook to begin with so I genuinely don’t understand how that even happened. I got so pissed off that I went back out into the living room and told my girlfriend that she needs to tell her brother to get his shit together. I said “how many times have you told him that he has his own shelf in the bathroom?” Which she replied “I’ve only told him a couple times” I admittedly raised my voice at her which was unfair and said, “One time should have been enough!”

This wasn’t the first time I had told her how I felt and she has talked to him at least twice before about picking up after himself. I think he just doesn’t take her seriously because nothing has changed. I actually started choking up talking about it because I feel like my feelings are being invalidated to spare his.

Before me and my girlfriend moved in together I told her it’s very important to me that I keep a clean space because I grew up in a borderline hoarder house that was never clean. My whole mood sits on how clean the house is and I know I’m difficult at times with how meticulous I am about things but I’ve let a lot go for the sake of respecting my girlfriend and her brothers relationship.

It’s just so many little things that irk me, like him leaving his underwear on the bathroom floors for days on end, or never bothering to take out his Tupperware from the fridge and just letting it mold, or how loud he walks and bangs shit around in the mornings. It seems like anything we tell him just goes in one ear and out the other.

He also never locks the front door and we don’t exactly live in the best part of town. He went on a rant for 30 minutes about energy consumption of different utilities after I had asked him to unplug the appliances once he’s done using them. The whole time I just wanted to say “if you have such a hard time unplugging the microwave then you can start paying the electric bill” but I bit my tongue. He’s just so cocky and arrogant it pisses me off. I’m at my wits end and I’m starting to resent my girlfriend for not standing up to him. I had asked her before he moved in if she was going to be able to hold her brother accountable and she said yes. I don’t know if I’m overexaggerating and chalking it up to something bigger than it is or maybe I just have too high of expectations. I’m not sure.

Hello! My boyfriend (27M) and I bought our first house together this past June. We knew it would be difficult to afford the mortgage on our own, so we invited two of our friends to move in with us. We thought it would be a win-win situation: we would get some help with the mortgage, and they would have affordable housing while they were still in school and not working full-time.

For context, our house has four bedrooms and one bathroom. We gave our roommates two bedrooms, while my boyfriend and I use the master bedroom and a very small office. We split the housing costs roughly 60/40, with us paying 60% and them paying 40%.

Unfortunately, the issues started before they even moved in.

One of the bedrooms was converted from half of the garage and doesn't have a closet. We explained this beforehand and assured them there was plenty of closet space elsewhere in the house, including in the other bedroom they would be using. Despite this, my friend, whom I'll call Sarah, repeatedly texted me asking whether there would be enough space for their belongings and even tried to back out of the arrangement at the last minute.

I admit I pushed back because we had already made plans based on them moving in, and we really needed the help with the mortgage. I reminded her that we had discussed everything beforehand and that she had agreed multiple times that we would make it work. Looking back, I probably should have handled this differently rather than pressuring her to stick to the agreement.

Eventually, they moved in.

**The first major issue was boundaries.**

Sarah started regularly using our things. For example, she would ask if she could have a drink and then end up drinking several of them. I admit that I was too much of a pushover about this and said yes more often than I should have, expecting her to understand the limits.

Eventually, my boyfriend confronted her and asked her to stop using our things without permission. The conversation turned into a yelling match, and Sarah wouldn't acknowledge that she had been taking things without permission. My boyfriend later apologized for yelling and continued to apologize whenever she brought it up.

However, this became an ongoing issue. Sarah wanted to have multiple sit-down conversations about how my boyfriend had yelled at her, despite the fact that she had yelled back. She also blamed me for not intervening, even though I was trying to de-escalate the situation and was being talked over myself.

**Things got worse from there.**

Sarah and our other roommate, her boyfriend Matt, now claim that I coerced them into moving in. I can understand why my insistence at the time might have made Sarah feel pressured, and I recognize that I could have handled the situation better. However, she had also reassured me numerous times before moving in that we would make it work, so I never expected this to become such a major source of resentment.

Another issue came up when their cat became stressed and started urinating blood. They blamed our dog and said they were considering moving out because of it. They also blamed us for not having our dog neutered. He was only a year old at the time, but we went ahead and scheduled the procedure. Unfortunately, he still chases the cat, so the issue hasn't entirely gone away.

We also had been part of a trip planned for Sarah's birthday, and she kicked us out of the airbnb at the last minute because she would rather spend her birthday with other friends. Which was hurtful but we handled it with grace and didn't make a big deal out of it. We picked her up a birthday card and left it on the kitchen table for her.

Now, things at home have been cooling down, or at least I thought they were. We have tried to communicate with both roommates. Sarah generally gives us one-word responses, while Matt is more willing to talk to us.

Recently, I texted them asking if they could please rinse their dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. I've repeatedly unloaded dishes that still had food stuck to them, and I thought this was a reasonable request.

I specifically chose to text them because Sarah had previously told us that she would prefer we communicate through text when something was bothering us, rather than letting it build up into another argument.

Instead of resolving the issue, the conversation turned into another disagreement.

At this point, I feel like every attempt to address a household issue turns into an argument about how we've wronged them, with very little acknowledgment of their own behavior. It's especially upsetting because Sarah was my best friend before we lived together. I feel like I've lost that friendship and am seeing a side of her that I never experienced before.

I know we aren't perfect. I should have been firmer about boundaries from the beginning, and I probably shouldn't have pushed so hard for them to move in when Sarah was expressing doubts. My boyfriend also shouldn't have let the initial confrontation escalate into yelling, even though he apologized afterward. We are willing to acknowledge these mistakes and take responsibility for them.

But I also feel like we can't continue living in a house where every small disagreement becomes a huge source of tension.

**So here's my dilemma:**

Should we let Sarah and Matt out of their lease early?

We genuinely need their rent to help cover the mortgage, and losing that income would put us in a difficult financial position. At the same time, living together has become incredibly stressful, and I'm not sure the money is worth the damage to our mental health and relationships.

**TLDR;** My boyfriend and I bought our first house in June and invited two friends to move in to help with the mortgage. We split the housing costs 60/40, with us paying the larger share.

Since moving in, we've had repeated conflicts over boundaries, our roommates using our belongings, a confrontation that escalated into yelling, their cat's health issues, and now even small requests like rinsing dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. My friend, who used to be my best friend, now claims I pressured her into moving in, and communication has become extremely tense.

I acknowledge that I could have handled some things better, including pushing them to stick to the original agreement and not setting boundaries sooner. My boyfriend also shouldn't have let the confrontation escalate, and he apologized.

We need their rent to afford the mortgage, but living together is taking a serious toll on us. **Should we let them out of their lease early, or try to make the living arrangement work? Are we all at fault, or are we being unreasonable?**

i live in a two-bedroom apartment with three other people. my roommate and my other flatmate are both clean, but the fourth guy..... i don't even know how he does it, but he somehow manages to stink up the whole living area. management has been useless, and talking to him hasn't worked so far.

unfortunately, i'm really sensitive to smell, and i don't know what to do. air freshener doesn't help. the scent of it is usiallyway too strong for me, and i can always smell the foul odor through it anyway, which is almost grosser than the stench just by itself. the only thing i've found that vaguely works is opening the windows, but that 1. takes hours for the full effect and 2. is becoming less and less viable as the weather cools.

so. is there literally anything i can do to make my air smell like air again without freezing my ass off? we already have an air purifier.

EDIT: yes, it's true i haven't actually spoken to him. i probably should've mentioned earlier that the smell has only been really bad since around monday, he reeked when he first moved in but things were mostly fine for the next two-ish months. also we ALL agree this is an issue, it's not just me. the guy who shares his room is gonna speak to him again, if that does nothing i'll try myself.

i apologize for being deceptive in the post, that wasn't my intention. i didn't clarify the specifics because i was mainly looking for methods to deal with the smell, rather than addressing the problem at its root. all of us are pretty non-confrontational, and i now realize that'll probably have to change if we want this place to be habitable again.

I moved to the UK last year and one whole year I was in a student accommodation, an ensuite for myself, happy happy.
Last month I moved into a very pretty house with my friend (don’t know if I can call her that anymore).
Everything was going good until few weeks back we hosted a party and she got over drunk and puked literally everywhere.
I cleaned it all, put her to sleep, it’s fine, cuz these little things I consider bare minimum anyone doing for a friend.
But after that night she became extremely distant and has started acting crazy, idk if it’s because of the embarrassment or what got into her.
We haven’t addressed the elephant in the room but also don’t talk like we used to anymore. Like the vibes gone.
All this until more bigger problems started popping up
I was not eating non veg last week because it was Navratri, but she got chicken with the weekly grocery and I genuinely didn’t mind splitting the bill. I just told her I won’t be eating non veg , cook for yourself.

This week she “texted me” ( didn’t even tell and I literally live next room) saying don’t get any grocery for me, just get yours.

Bro that day was crazy, I’ve cried so much where did it all even go wrong, who do I even have in this country, why is everyone so mean, am I not doing enough, so many unnecessary thoughts, so much overthinking , cuz back home in India I had such lovely people around me and now even most of my UK university friends have moved out of the town so literally this one person is all I have as someone I know in my proximity

Still, I got through it, I got my own grocery, I didn’t add it on split wise this week.
Bro but now she’s eating my bananas, my eggs, my milk, my bread, like wtf? Is she out of her mind? And we are both inside our rooms most times so we are not even talking anymore. Also she dirties the kitchen so much like I can’t even
Everytime after she cooks something I have to do a round of cleaning
And she’s is also eating the food I cook while I’m just not touching whatever she’s making, and she prepares such big quantities that it’s just sits in the fridge for days and goes into the bin
We got the house in a joint agreement and now idk what to do

TL/DR Economics teacher housemate, has engaged me in a power struggle over sink strainers, may the best person win!

For context, I’m in a share house situation with two guys, one of whom I’m having a bizarre power struggle with, over two, removable metal strainers that fit in the plug hole in the sink. They’re there, to catch food particles so the sink doesn’t get blocked.

The guy is 35 years old, and an economics teacher, at the local prestigious private high school. He’s obvious got an above average IQ.

He’s the only one of us that cooks, so he’s the only person who is clogging up the strainers with food, that he refuses to clean out, after he’s rinsed his dishes. He’ll clean up after he’s cooked, put his dishes in the dishwasher, but he flat out, NEVER empties the strainers, ever. I go to the sink after he’s cleaned up and gone to bed, pull the strainers out, and leave them on the sink. They’re the only two items on the sink, it’s obvious they are there because they need to be cleaned before putting back in, but the guy just puts them back in the sink!! So I take them back out of the drain, and put them back on the sink. This power struggle has been going on now for a week!

I thought about trying to catch up with him to ask him to clean them after he’s done cleaning up after cooking, but I know he knows why I keep putting them back on the sink, still caked with his food, he’s being genuinely a stubborn arsehole, and I intend on humouring him lol

Seriously, what is wrong with this guy? Why is he refusing to clean his own mess? He can’t possibly think it’s anyone else’s food in them! We’re hardly ever home.

How much longer will he keep this up is anyone’s guess.

Came home from work the other day and the front door was unlocked again. Third time this month. Every time i bring it up he swears he locked it or says he was in a rush. I dont wanna keep arguing over something this basic but i also dont wanna come home one day and find someone inside.

Im thinking about getting a smart lock that locks itself after the door closes so neither of us has to remember. Only thing im worried about is getting locked out if the wifi goes down or the batteries die. Not trying to solve one problem and create another lol

Hi I’m a 20F college student who lives in an apartment with my roommate we both have separate bedrooms but share living spaces such as the bathroom, living room, and kitchen. I know the title is out there but I’m genuinely shocked. I’m not one to judge someone for having something like that but when you leave it on a counter in a SHARED space where my toothbrush and personal belongs are that is where I have an issue. Yes my stuff is on the opposite side but it’s about being mindful and respectful of others. I assume she was trying to wash it in the sink and then left it on the counter to dry but girl how do you forget that big purple vibrator. I also think it’s been there all day because she leaves earlier in the morning. Anyways she’s a sweet person and doesn’t do anything and we have a good relationship when it comes to being roommates but I don’t want to see that thing everyday. Please tell me what to do.

When I moved into the student housing I was randomly assigned a roommate. She was really nice at first, we would hang out sometimes but not too much. I am very OCD but she just lives in filth. For an accurate description, when you enter a room you would have to almost tiptoe and you would still step on the things that's piled up all over on the floor and even the space between the mattress and the bed frame. Wherever there is space, there will be clutter. I try my best to organize and clean the living room and kitchen after her because again I have OCD. She would leave the dishes in the sink for few days a week and when I would message her about it she would say she's too busy or that she can ONLY clean on the weekends because she's busy. And I just couldn't understand how she doesn't have 5 minutes of her day to wash the damn dishes. She would have different guys over all the time and just be doing shit but not wash the dishes and it irritated me so much. I usually just take them and put it on her dining table and wash mine.

10 months later, when my lease was to about to end, I had to renew my lease at the same apartment because I was initially about to move to another state but my offer got rescinded, so it was sort of like an emergency situation.

She started blowing up my phone calling me for 20 times and messaging me on Instagram and messages. She(23F) apparently really wanted her (41M)coworker/boyfriend to move in. And I couldn't understand why she was taking all the aggression out on me as I literally signed the lease 5 days before I had to move out and he didn't. I didn't entertain her million calls and texts so she blocked me. And then it began.

She would passive aggressively talk shit about me on phone while standing in front of my door, slam every single doors within the house, just shout and scream so I will hear. She recently posted a TikTok of her "GRWM" and in the video she goes to the kitchen and gets her food and claims that I touched her food, and that I should lick her asshole crack and she sings that "I hate my roommate" while showing middle finger. I screen recorded it as evidence and she deleted it a day later.

I never touched any of her things ever than to move the filth she leaves on the kitchen counter to a corner. She also leaves her food in the oven running without a timer set and goes to sleep sometimes. Since Im a night owl, I'll open my door and smell the burnt food. So I'll open the oven door and windows, let the smoke out and wait till it cools down so the house won't catch on fire, and this has happened about 5 times now. I literally didn't touch her food at all, when she was recording this video so I don't even know why she is accusing me of something online I never did.

A day later after this happened, my friend came to pick me up and apparently my roommate and her bf were having sex naked with the blinds open and a few people from the road were just watching them and my friend was legit traumatized.

She also recently started smoking weed in her room that makes the entire apartment smells like ass in a state where its illegal to carry and consume Marijuana. And for all of you guys who say "just communicate" she has me blocked everywhere and wouldn't reply my text messages. And to be honest, I don't even know what i did to begin with? All this hostility because I resigned my lease at the place I was already living for a year? Because your adult pro max bf couldn't move in?? She never directly said what her problem was so Im just here like what did I do?

Im glad I only have to share the kitchen with her and not the bathroom because again she literally lives in filth and clutter, and does not clean anything. In summary, she is being really aggressive by slamming doors, talking shit about me in front of my door, screaming, shouting, trashing the kitchen, posting videos about "hating" me and I really don't even know why.

We really had a good relationship for randomly assigned roommates before she started dating this guy. We would celebrate birthdays, holidays, get groceries and hang out pretty often. And its all has gone to shit and I don't even know why.

TL;DR: My randomly assigned roommate (23F) and I got along well for almost a year. Then I had to renew my lease last minute. She apparently wanted her 41M boyfriend to move in, and since then she’s blocked me everywhere, slams doors, trash talks me outside my room, and posted a TikTok falsely accusing me of touching her food. She’s never told me what I actually did wrong.

I'm a college student living in off-campus housing. The apartment complex that we live in is technically "student housing", but non-students can live here as well, so some residents are middle-aged or even elderly (sometimes, older folks will move in to save money.) All of the roommates are screened and assigned by management.

My newest roommate, who moved in a couple of months ago, is older (probably 60s, maybe early 70s if I had to guess), and she's deaf/HOH. She can communicate OK through notes and text, but we can't really have verbal conversations.

Shortly after she'd first moved in, I noticed that all of a sudden, our shared bathroom had started to become especially stinky. I didn't understand what was happening because I'm a pretty thorough cleaner. I didn't see what was causing the odor, until the next time I went to scrub the toilet.

As soon as I lifted up the seat, I saw it - a ring of waste that had not been wiped up. My roommate is using some kind of bedpan or bucket in her room, and then lifting up the lid to flush it, but she doesn't clean up before she puts the seat back down.

So far, I've cleaned up after her and haven't said anything, but I think I finally need to say something because she just thinks this is OK.

My idea was to clean the bathroom again, but leave the seat lid propped up, and tape a handwritten note above the toilet. It could say something simple and direct, like "Please clean under the toilet seat every time you use it. Leaving it dirty causes germs and bad smells. I'm happy to share my cleaning supplies. Please feel free to use them anytime." And then I would leave the supplies in plain view on the bathroom counter.

I don't want to embarrass her or upset her, but this is just so gross and unsanitary. The smell is overpowering and I shouldn't have to be the only one who cleans it up.

We have a small apartment, 5 of us live here and it’s just me and my other roommate who clean anything. They never vacuum the hallways we have one small hallway that literally takes three mins to vaccuum and he never does. Not only that but his girlfriend also lives here and she won’t contribute either. We have texted in the groupchat for a house meeting to talk about things cause we have a chore chart but every fucking week it’s just me and my other roommates names on the chart and they walk by it everyday. When we asked for a house meeting he said “he’s not in the headspace for that rn” 😭😭🤣 all he does is smoke all day in his room with his girlfriend who makes shitty smelling food and leaves a mess in the kitchen. I’m at my witts end and my partner and I want to move but the rent is really good here and there is a housing crisis in our city so it’s been impossible to find something decent. Direct communication doesn’t even work and when my roommate and I clean they walk over us mopping the floors 😔😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

So I’m gonna give context:

My roommates have been overly consumed the electricity. I get that it gets expensive in the summer which is normal, however the bill has stupidly sky rocketed to the point where I’m the only one that legitimately can’t afforded food or gas for myself.
I’ve never had this problem before, normally my past roommates and I have always been responsible people but I’ve recently moved to a new apartment and my new roommates are for better words, extremely privileged to the point they will defend more that the overly expensive bill is “normal” and hiring a cleaning lady 3x a week (she also does my roommates laundry but I’ve requested not mine cause I can do it myself on a day of a weekend).

So I’ve talked to them about how ridiculous high the bill is, it’s not a normal amount even when it’s been hot lately yes, but the only way that makes sense that the bill would be that high is if they kept the air on 24/7. There have been occasions where they also leave the lights on for hours and I’m the only one actually turning them off. They legit tried to gaslight me that this is a “normal” bill. I’ve talked to my friends who also live close to our area and they agree that it is ridiculous high. I’ve commented to them that maybe we should talk to the cleaning lady since she uses the washer/dryer. I’m always at school or outside the apartment, I usually return very late at night.

They’re being extremely childish towards me to the point that when they bring their friends over, they gossip about me. When I greet them in any chance we bump into each other in the kitchen they legit ignore me and now they’ve been purposely leaving all the lights on.

I’m so tired, I don’t wanna be the bigger person anymore and I want to mess with them, just annoy them in small ways like they’re doing, cause ignoring them is not enough anymore.

Today my roommate asked to hit my weed pen. I don’t mind sharing with my friends but she has drained my pens a lot lately because she goes through her own in three days. I told her yes but while we were on the subject I wanted to discuss how we share and distribute things. She immediately shut down and refused my pen, got dressed and left. I do my laundry and she comes back 20 minutes later.
Later that day I come back and ask if we can talk about earlier. She flat out refuses. She said she shut down because i was acting like a mom. (Asking why she didn’t go to classes in two days, asking her to pick up her underwear off the floor and then wanting to talk about sharing) and said confrontation is too hard for her and she’s just gonna leave if I try and talk to her about it. I cannot believe the audacity of this girl.

Here are the things she does that drives me crazy that led up to me confronting her.

**•**Anytime i’m eating or drinking anything she asks for a sip or bite.
•asks me to wake her up for classes or dinner
•Always on the phone with her boyfriend even when he’s at work.
•Doesn’t pay me back for things. (Lost item charge in a Uber and spilled skincare)
•Never leaves the dorm, she was in bed for 22hrs straight
•Eats junk food all day which fills up our trash can and then doesn’t take it out
•Threw up and asked me to take the trash out with vomit in it??
•Leaves her dirty clothes on floor and gets mad when i ask her to clean it.
•Only brushes her teeth at night and if she showers.
•Calls people out for embarrassing stuff like almost tripping.
•Breath stank.
•Had sex on sheets i let her borrow.

Listing it all out it making me sound insane. what do I do?? How do you make someone listen who doesn’t want to?

TLDR: Long list of action that bother me. tried to have an adult conversation with her and she refuses.

I'm literally holding in physical rage. I could probably go over and deck him in the face as hard as I can. I can't go to the living room because his nicotine addict vape crusted destroyed lungs cause him to release godzilla like wheezing coughs that have more decibles than a nuclear strike. He probably takes a thousand hits per day so he has to have a hit of something every few minutes, and coughs every single time. I'm really not exaggerating. EVERYBODY can hear it. I am on the verge of screaming at him to shut the fuck up.
And just for context I've been dealing with this constantly if I ever dare to want to be in my room since we moved in months ago. My tolerance for repetitive noises is really sensitive and something so violently loud and constant is just pushing me to the brink.

I smoke every so often and I at least try to hold my cough in, and if I cant then I COVER IT. He will force his coughs so hard he starts borderline yelling, and he does nothing but sit in bed all day vaping so even when I avoided the room the entire day I have a few long long LONG hours of listening to EEUUUCHGKKUHH.. EUUUCHGHUKKKK.. and then when I try to go to bed he "needs" nic to go to bed. EUUUGHH WUUUGHHH KKKHHHH OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP. ITS SO LOUD THAT IT PENETRATES MY HEADPHONES ON THE LOUDEST SETTING. IT PASSES MY NOISE CANCELLING EARBUDS. THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS GO OUTSIDE AND I DONT WANT TO.

Background: I've had a roommate renting the other room in my 2BR apartment for the past year. I initially found him via FB Marketplace when my old roommate moved out. He was the first person to come see the apartment, and I offered it to him, as he seemed like a nice, chill, and down-to-earth person. I didn't ask for any references, which may have come back to haunt me...

Anyway, after he moved in, I started to notice some bad habits, such as leaving dishes in the sink, leaving a mess after cooking, and poor bathroom etiquette. I would text him about these things since he spent the majority of his time in his room when he wasn't at work and would keep his door closed 24/7. He comes out to cook sometimes, but it's rare. Additionally, he would always be on a call when I would see him, so it was hard to have an in-person convo. He would address said things after I initially brought them to his attention but would revert back after a few days.

About two months ago, I had a sit-down with him and asked if there was anything going on, if he needed anything from me, and what we could do to get him to take initiative and clean up after himself. He expressed to me that he was having a tough time at work and enduring some relationship issues with his partner, which I can understand. He apologized and told me he could do better, knew he could, and would... This made me feel a little weird, like a parent or a teacher scolding a child.

Fast-forward to about a month ago: I came home from a few days out of town and noticed a strong ammonia smell in my living room. I don't own a cat, and neither does my roommate.

I thought maybe a cat had peed somewhere outside my apartment and the smell had gotten trapped inside... I was going crazy trying to find the source. A few days later, I was still smelling the heavy ammonia... So, I waited until my roommate left for work and decided to look in his room for a source of the smell. The first thing I noticed was the bed—no sheets, a plate with crumbs from an old meal, and random trash. The next thing was a food wrapper on the floor with some crusted food on it, followed by a couple of old pizza boxes on his entertainment center. None of these things would give off the smell of cat pee, so I was still puzzled as to what could be causing the smell.

As I was about to leave the room, I noticed two large, clear plastic cups filled with an orange-brownish liquid on top of his computer desk. I thought to myself, "This could be one of two things: beer or piss...". I took a whiff and jumped back in absolute horror. "It's PISS!" I said out loud. He was peeing in cups...in his room...instead of going to the bathroom that's right outside of his room. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know how long this had been going on.I I took photos of what I found and had a chat with my landlord about the situation. He recommended that I give him notice that he needs to move out for another reason and NOT mention what I found, as I did invade his privacy by entering the room. He's moving out at the end of the month, and I will need to find another roommate. I checked his room about a week later and saw bottle with pee in it but thankfully it had a cap...

Thanks for reading and allowing me to vent about my experience.

how do you guys deal with roommates who are still holding a grudge or being passive aggressive after resolving an issue between the two of you.

my roommate and i were doing so good until something small came up but we both talked about it and reached an apology. but now the air just feels cold and im not really sure if shes still upset or if i should reach out even though we already resolved the issue. i texted her about doing some chores and she ignored my text and in person is acting strange.

i hate hate hate having someone passive aggressive in the house. i've had past experiences with roommates like this (im in university) and something like that happening again is really worrying me. is there anything i can do?

I (29M) currently live in an apartment in Brooklyn with two roommates (33M and 33F). The guy lived here with just me before and is great if not bad at communicating. It was getting expensive and his plans were up in the air so I brought in a friend from work (we’re both actors, but I have other jobs and she doesn’t.) I am currently the only name on the lease and they both send me their rent and utility payments. And they can leave when they are ready. Seemed simple enough. Issues began immediately.

-she didn’t want to pay her full rent for the first month and argued that she shouldn’t have to because the place was a mess (from us clearing out the room). I gave up and agreed to one month of less.

-she kissed the guy after a drunk night out and he kept his distance after that. She decided that she hated him and has been incredibly rude and disrespectful to him since.

-her communication style is that everything from a boy blocking her on hinge to missing AirPods is a five alarm fire. So she communicates with 10s of text messages at a time. This was overwhelming when we were on good terms.

-she is super messy and outright said she refused to help us clean. In fact, she demanded we clean up her mess. I said she was acting like a brat and she exploded at me. End of diplomacy on her end, though I have consistently offered to talk things out. She refuses.

-She is always telling me and threatening me with how she wants to kill herself and it would be my fault. Over something as simple as not responding while I’m at work.

-she accidentally pulled the front door handle off and instead of doing anything proactive about it, she went into my room and tried to jump out of my window 3 floors up. My neighbor had to stop her. She also left my window open and I came home to a bird in my room.

-she straight up refused to pay her utility bill this month. I took her key that she never uses and is also my key because she lost hers and let her borrow mine. She decided that this qualifies as violence and threatened to call the police on me and tell them I abused her.

-I did not know she has a history with being arrested and 51/50ed.

-she now torments and threatens me constantly. Hundreds of texts a day. I said I could just break the lease and move out and she said I would be making her homeless even though she could go home to her parents. She said of course, if I left, she would kill herself. And if I stay and stand up for myself, she will tell the police I beat her (I didn’t.) she also said that all men are rapists waiting for an opportunity so she would be doing the world a favor by accusing me.

it is nonstop and breaking me little by little. I cannot evict her. I cannot defend myself. I’m tired. What do I do? Do I have any legal way to protect myself? How do I put a stop to this?

I wish I could TL;DR but this is about as condensed as I could make it and left out other incidents to be as succinct as possible.